DrrAld

I’m not “ashamed” nor do I feel shame for being Black. I’m also not “offended” by privileged White men such as yourself who insist on rationalising your position of self-righteousness by explaining and relegating other people’s opinions and feelings to little niches by which you can allow yourself to feel better about your inability to empathise or even try to understand their issue with men like you. If you want to continue living in your little bubble, that’s your prerogative. Just please don’t be shocked or complain when someone eventually gets fed up and puts you in your place in a less thoughtful way than I and ever other person of colour on this thread has tried to. Check yourself.

A BBC we can all get behind!

Totally agree about the faces being subjective. What attracts one might not attract another. However, the issue isn’t about aesthetic beauty and doesn’t change the fact that you don’t see White guys, “attractive” or not, being courted, marketed, or labelled as having “Big White Cocks”. If anything, it’s simply normalised to “Big Dick” or “Monster Cock” and race isn’t involved.

I really think it’s about comfort level with the other person and/or what they’re into. I used to have a fuck bud who was into scat (receiving), but otherwise a top. I’m not into scat but we were able to fuck anytime, without much notice, because he preferred dirty cunt. Personally, I prefer to be clean as possible because it allows me to really feel the load(s) and take as much of a pounding as I want. To each his own though.

I’ll preface by saying that “attractive” is subjective and the face one finds beautiful, another might not. nelly26, you used that linked list to make this point when I actually find Cutler to be cute and cuddly. Also, I’m not one to dismiss interracial sex in life or porn (two very different things) and don’t think it would be beneficial to segregate performers. I’d venture to say doing that would actually do the opposite; further isolating and othering. To the point: Wanting to not simply be viewed and used as a vessel for fetishisation, fantasy fulfilment or gratification and having a preference or attraction to races other than your own aren’t mutually exclusive. Interracial relationships/sex and muted racial bias can actually co-exist. In porn, a scene isn’t problematic because it has a Black top or tops and a White bottom; male or female. It’s problematic when the title is “BBC fucks (insert name)” (as barecub85 mentioned) and the Black men are simply relegated to being tools of taboo fulfilment and or aggressive/deep pleasure for the White receiver who’s often depicted as “good” or “innocent” and the norm. You simply don’t see well-endowed White performers being labelled as such. Furthermore, there is a vast difference between racial and role play and generalised fantasy. If it’s explicitly known that someone enjoys referencing race during play, have at it. I find myself occasionally saying, “Fuck my Black ass” to even my Black top sex partners. Some take it further and indulge in full-on racial identity and epithetical engagement. That’s beyond my limits, but again, it’s what they’re into and I’m not judging. Where it becomes hurtful is when you have forums such as this where you continually see the preference for Black men (or “BBC”) conflated with a desire for deep impaling or fullness and references to sexual fantasies and fetish as though this is the only purview by which you would even entertain sleeping with or engaging with a Black person. When his “big black dick” is the main (and often only) trait causing attraction. I’ve actually had men say to me, “I’m not into Black guys but would love to see your dick”. I can’t count the number of times it’s assumed that I’m a top or that I’m lying about my desire to simply bottom. At bathhouses and sex parties, I’ve been in assless neoprene briefs (deliberately made to completely cover your groin) and had men try and reposition the front to see what’s underneath. This sort of “I haven’t but ...” or excited desire to engage with my crotch doesn’t usually happen with top men which further legitimises the problematic nature of the desire for “BBC” vs a general preference for Black men. Additionally, some Black men who would otherwise be great sexual partners are made to feel inadequate because they don’t have a “BBC” while others, like myself (even as a bottom), are made to feel as though our big penis is the only attribute of value. We’re turned into a monolith or a category of sex instead of treated as a full human capable of having their own desires and it feels like shit all around. And for those who feel attacked or are “sick of being told what’s offensive”, check your privilege. I will say again that preference is not the issue and most (keyword: most) people aren’t against interracial play or relationships. If you’re a White bottom who enjoys being with Black men, have at it. I enjoy us too. But please be cognisant of and understand that the Black guy you’re into (even for five minutes) has probably experienced stereotyping and treatment based simply on the colour of his skin and just as you’re escaping into the pleasure of sex and his “BBC”, he is more than his penis and entitled to reciprocal pleasure beyond the remnants of your desire fulfilment. We’re not here to simply service you and your fantasies and, unless stated otherwise, may not even be into you or what you’re offering. In the world at large, we’re already considered a minority, but when you narrow it down to the LGBTQ+ stratosphere and within that, the sex positive subculture at large, we’re a small bunch. Because of that, a lot of guys don’t say anything about this topic so I decided to do it for us. I don’t claim to speak for all Black men, but feel pretty confident saying that most feel the way that I do. Ask one of them and see what they say. And if you don’t have anyone to ask, perhaps that’s part of the reason why this continues. Thanks for reading.

Asking to be humanised instead of viewed as simply a vessel of sexual gratification turns you on? Thank you for proving my point.

If I might ask, what do you call White or Latino or Asian penises that are large?

Absolutely. And there’s race and role play that I have no judgement of. What I’m talking about is the inclination to just throw out the term “BBC” in casual or generalised sex talk as if it’s a monolithic idea like, “I’m into fisting”, “I’m into prolapsed cunt”, “I’m into BBC”. We’re people; not a fetish.

I’m a bottom. 200%. Insatiable. I’m also a good slut and though my cunt is open to all men, like most, I prefer thick and long. However, you don’t see me asking for BWC or BLC, so can we please retire the BBC moniker? I understand preferences and attraction and don’t begrudge anyone theirs. However, in the sex positive community, I’ve seen too many examples of racial stereotype/fetishisation passed off as simply a desire for big dick. Furthermore, at least once a day on Grindr, BBRT et al, I’m approached by another bottom asking me to fuck them. I’m Black therefore must be hung and somehow THEIR pussy will be the one to magically make me want to be the dominate top who will fulfil their fantasy of having a “BBC” impaling them. This frankly reduces me down to an acronym and I’m going to just put it out there (because most guys don’t): it makes me and a lot of other Black men feel really shitty. Can we please retire this and get back to the regularly scheduled breeding?