I was "molested" by a teacher who was only so bold as to pair kids up in secret - he only liked to watch and direct, but I don't recall if he actually filmed. He didn't know he was pairing me up with my cousin when I was around 10, but my female cousin already had experience at that age and had no objections. Teacher never got caught, but ended up moving away. Sometimes I wonder if he ever continued his alternative "sex education." Either way, I only ever fucked raw from that age. Still fuck my cousin from time to time, behind hubby's back. At one point, we thought one of her kids could have been mine (she wasn't).
Wasn't until 12 and living in Utah when I had sex with another boy, my best friend at the time. I had taken to sneaking my dad's porn videos from his room, sharing them with my friend and jacking off next to him. One day on the way back from school, he asked if it was weird to want to put his cock in another boy's ass. We'd already seen anal sex, so I said no. Ended up blowing each other and fucking most of the night when he stayed over the next time. About a month later one of the old guys who owned one of the duplexes offered to babysit for a bunch of parents. One of them was the neighbor girl next door. We were told we'd be watching movies the whole weekend.
Well... we did. When we were taking breaks from making movies. I still wonder if there's a video of younger me circling around in the hands of older perverts. That was the first time I had someone older than me. We had "movie night" once a month, up until the neighbor girl moved away.
By the time I was 15 and back in California, I was actively looking for sex from older men. It took me years after the fact, but that was around the time I took my first poz load. I still don't know how I came away from that without actually getting pozzed, maybe I was lucky (it was only one time, but he had all the signs). I eventually ended up mellowing out and taking a break from chasing (and giving) tail, but I definitely put all my "education" into practice with the boyfriends/girlfriends I had after high-school.
I can't say for sure it's what made me what I am today. I certainly don't reach out like I used to back then. But I don't think I've burned out, either. I've slowly started to reconnect, and when I'm with those few friends I keep in touch with, I definitely go nuts until I nut. I do know that I wasn't ever that scared, or in pain, when it happened. I had the "benefit" of "mentors" that made it as comfortable as possible, and friends to make it fun. I'm not going to lie, I have alot of fond memories from then, as wrong as it was.