Administrators rawTOP Posted January 2, 2012 Administrators Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Just wanted to let people know I've updated the choices for HIV status for profiles... The new choices are: Don't Ask, Don't Tell Poz, Not On Meds Poz, On Meds Neg, Recently Tested Not Sure, Probably Neg Not Sure, Probably Poz Notice neg only applies if you're recently tested - otherwise, Not Sure - Probably Neg would be the best choice. I've also separated poz guys based on whether they're on meds or not. If you don't want to say whether you're on meds - then Don't Ask, Don't Tell is the best answer for you. The statuses you selected in the past haven't changed. So take a moment and go into your profile and pick one of the new HIV statuses to let other guys know more about you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wammt Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Updated my profile, and added the undetectable to the description. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig Bottom Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) I don't think Don't ask, don't tell should be the default., it feels passive aggressive. How about a "no answer" option. Edited January 2, 2012 by Hotload84 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotload84 Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 I've updated my profile "Poz, on meds." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HungLatinDom Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Poz, not on meds (yet). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hungry_hole Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I like the new ones "Neg, Recently Tested", "Not Sure, Probably Neg", and "Not Sure, Probably Poz". But the "Neg, Recently Tested" I would change it to "Neg, Tested on 2011-Feb-27". Otherwise, what does "recently" mean. A real date is much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted January 3, 2012 Author Administrators Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I don't think Don't ask, don't tell should be the default., it feels passive aggressive. The idea behind Don't Ask, Don't Tell (besides the political pun) is that a lot of barebackers don't want to discuss their status or think about the risk they're taking or the risk their fuck buddy is taking. If someone isn't telling their status, that's more or less where they're coming from. ...But the "Neg, Recently Tested" I would change it to "Neg, Tested on 2011-Feb-27". Otherwise, what does "recently" mean. A real date is much better. They have to be general categories - not freeform dates. You can put the date in one of the other profile fields. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NastyRigPig Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 What about diagnosed AIDS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GermanFucker Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 The idea behind Don't Ask, Don't Tell (besides the political pun) is that a lot of barebackers don't want to discuss their status or think about the risk they're taking or the risk their fuck buddy is taking. If someone isn't telling their status, that's more or less where they're coming from. I think Pig Bottom doesn't disagree with the category itself, but the fact that it is the default option, i.e. if you want something else you have to actively change it. Many guys will not realize this right away and give an impression they don't really want to give, like that by not wanting to discuss status they have something to hide. E.g. for a guy that prides himself on his openness having DADT as the default option can seem passive-agressive and / or misleading. I could imagine three better ways to handle it: 1.) When creating a profile, make it an option that must be filled out / mandatory input. 2.) If someone doesn't choose one of the options, leave the space blank in the profile. 3.) Probably the most sensible: Leave the DADT option as a choice, but add an "ASK ME" option and make that the default. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted January 3, 2012 Author Administrators Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I think Pig Bottom doesn't disagree with the category itself, but the fact that it is the default option, i.e. if you want something else you have to actively change it. Many guys will not realize this right away and give an impression they don't really want to give, like that by not wanting to discuss status they have something to hide. E.g. for a guy that prides himself on his openness having DADT as the default option can seem passive-agressive and / or misleading. I hear you, but 1) I don't think I can make it mandatory, 2) blank statuses are boring, an 3) I've never liked "Ask Me" - 'cause it's rare that people actually do ask - far more people just don't ask and don't tell... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raw_n_toxic Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Done. Poz, not on meds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GermanFucker Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I've never liked "Ask Me" - 'cause it's rare that people actually do ask - far more people just don't ask and don't tell... Agreed. Not to be nitpicky (I'm not looking for an argument, in the end it's your personal site anyway, I just want to explain why e.g. I myself felt uncomfortable with the "DADT" label), but what you say is an a posteriori observation, whereas DADT, just like the namesake policy is a demand not to talk about something, i.e. declaring something off limits. When it comes to HIV / AIDS I always found that silence on the issue - while certainly a valid personal choice - shouldn't be encouraged / demanded as a default model for the community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig Bottom Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I think Pig Bottom doesn't disagree with the category itself, but the fact that it is the default option, i.e. i. I don't disagree with it, but it's like admitting you are poz when you say DADT. I would rather have a blank status. How bout "ask me in person when we are gonna hook up for a fuck"...as a status. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig Bottom Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I hear you, but 1) I don't think I can make it mandatory, 2) blank statuses are boring, an 3) I've never liked "Ask Me" - 'cause it's rare that people actually do ask - far more people just don't ask and don't tell... I just find the whole thing rude and it's not any websites business what my neg or poz HIV status is, unless is it a site specifically for Poz issues. You are making it mandatory by selecting DADT as the default. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NiceHard1 Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I like the point that you are making about neg status; One can't really "be" negative - but can only have had a recent negative test result. That is an excellent way to present negative or questionable status. Thanks I think I'll keep the "don't ask, don't tell" staus. I think most people here know I'm poz from my posts, but I like the idea of keeping you guessing if I am going to make you poz or not.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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