Mate tested Poz, took a load from him 2 weeks ago and now scared shitless.

[caliboy236]

Hi All,

A good friend of mine, his bf and myself all went to the local clinic for routine screen last Tuesday. On Friday he called me to say he had tested poz, after a night of him sandwiched between myself and his bf crying his eyes out I realised that I am at risk myself.

The week before, he fucked me bare and blew in me, as his infection is new I assume his viral load would be quite high? I was already past the PEP window and was told there is nothing to do but wait. What are the odds I am poz? I tested neg from the Tuesday test but that would have been 1 week from our fuck, which I am assuming is far to soon. When should I next get tested?

Kinda freaking out...

[MackyJay]

Not sure but from what I have read it takes from 2 weeks to almost 2 months to take.

[NiceHard1]

You may be able to try to get a high sensitivity test, which can detect HIV within a shorter window period.

If your friend has gone for some initial HIV viral load tests, and he shares the results with you, that might give you a better idea, or may just further make you anxious. Yes, its possible you may have controverted, though not a forgone conclusion. But if you have, know that there are lots of us here who have gone the road before you; Lots of our friends and brothers who have worked their asses off over the past 30 years to make things better for us all. Especially if you are in SF - I found out myself while living in SF, and there is probably no better place for support. Lots of us here on this site to talk to as well. Sure, its not the greatest thing in the world to have to deal with, but not the worst ether.

You'll be fine either way.

[troublefuck]

hey man

I'm an HIV tester and can give you what I tell folks who I meet with in your situation.

1. as said before - It's ok to be freaked out. This can be big stuff for some of us. That said, there's lots of dudes doing just fine and if you were to end up poz from this situation, you will likely be fine too. Talking with the friends you know who are already poz about the ins and outs is something not a lot of neg dudes do when engaged in the BB scene (from MY experience only, I'm speaking) but I'm sure your poz friends and even fuckbuddies would gladly talk about it with you.

2. it is a waiting game at this point. and as was stated earlier too - there is a test that can tell you between 5-8 weeks after initial infection. it's called the p-24 Antigen test. I know that they make a rapid test that does both but I don't know if it's available in all states but you can ask your clinic. The regular p-24 antigen test is otherwise a blood-draw and 7-10 days for results.

3. It will otherwise take between 5 weeks and 3 months to get a positive test with a standard antibody test. some folks will show as early as 5 weeks - and with the Insti rapid test we use in canada it detects earlier than the cheek swab but EVERYONE will have an accurate test (given the statistical limitations around accuracy per specific tests - also why we do a confirmatory test with a second method) within 3 months (unless you have another immunocompromising condition - like you just had an organ transplant, something serious)

4. Exposure doesn't equal transmission - this is the big thing that freaks folks out - I know that sometimes once is all it takes and it's awesome that you're aware that the initial stage after infection is the highest likelihood to transmit, cuz it sounds like you are interested in staying neg and have some good knowledge about risk.* However, one exposure doesn't mean automatic transmission. If you guys were fucking every day or every week, using T and/or just marathoning it, not keeping things lubed, getting fisted and then fucked, rigorous douching before, those are all things that CONTRIBUTE to the likelihood swinging a bit higher but again DO NOT equal transmission. And if you don't have those other factors at play then that's also sliding the likelihood down, while still within the High Risk category.

I hope this is useful. if you have any more questions or feel like this wasn't addressing the concern you're naming, feel free to post again or PM.

*Also: I know that this doesn't work for everyone but i work with some dudes who try to only sleep with poz guys who are on ARVs (and have a suppressed Viral Load) and talk to their partners/fuckbuds/tricks(HA, not likely) about regular STI testing (as the most common symptoms are to be asymptomatic, and having another STI can increase likelihood to get or pass on HIV)

Edited January 27, 2014 by troublefuck

[rawTOP]

Kinda freaking out...

Between that comment and the "scared shitless" in the title, I'd focus on how you're feeling and coping. There's nothing you can do to prevent infection at this point. Just try to accept it. If your friend converted recently, then there's a high probability that you're poz. Just confront your fears… What about being poz scares you? Why does it scare you? Poz guys live long productive lives, where does your fear come from?

Just tell yourself your poz. Let it sink in and deal with the emotions of it all. I think hoping your still neg is counter-productive right now. It just draws out the period of fear.

Oh, and definitely go and get one of the high sensitivity tests done.

[bearbandit]

Troublefuck is right - I've seldom agreed so completely with any post.

1. It's only a virus

2. The drugs work

3. There's no point worrying about what's done. You'll find out soon enough. But as long as you do worry, talk about it: repressing emotions is bad for you.

4. A single exposure (even in the case, as this seems to be, from someone who's liable to have a high viral load) does not guarantee infection. Some guys trying to get HIV, to their frustration, fail to year upon year (I should get so much sex!)

Lecture over. Even if you did get it, it's not the end of the world. Yesterday I celebrated my 27th HIV diagnosis birthday. And I know that I picked it up in 1980 (the rash - unrecognised at the time except "we've been seeing a lot of this rash recently", said the clap clinic nurse - is unmistakeable). I bitch about my health at times here, but most of the damage was done by early HIV drugs. These days they're safe, prescribed in the correct dose, and reliable. A few have side effects, it's true, but if you can't deal with one combination, there are others to choose from.

And then, your test might turn up negative. Either way, let us know what's happening...

[GermanFucker]

Just tell yourself your poz.

I tend to disagree, just because there isn't really a need yet.

Let it sink in and deal with the emotions of it all. I think hoping your still neg is counter-productive right now. It just draws out the period of fear.

Oh, and definitely go and get one of the high sensitivity tests done.

IMHO you (i.e. the thread starter) don't have to pretend you're poz - or neg for that matter. You just don't know right now and that's ok as well. Just think of it as handing a in a high-school exam that could go either way. What do you do afterwards? You don't obsess about every possible mistake. Nor do you think about applying to Harvard. Most likely you'd unwind with some friends and play a video game. So do that. Relax and take solace from the fact that there's nothing you can do either way. However you turn it, it's out of your hands.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't think about the future (or to stay within the metaphor: think about which college to apply to). But there is NO NEED FOR FEAR. In the end you'll be fine whether you end up neg or poz. If you're poz, it'll be just one of those things in life like changing jobs or choosing a partner. Sure it will have an impact on your life, but you'll manage.

But right now you don't have to do anything other than a.) taking a deep breath, b.) make a commitment to being considerate when having sex with others and to get tested again once the results will be conclusive and c.) realize that until then no action and no train of thought will have an impact on the result. So until then you're completely free to think whatever makes you feel good. You have license not to worry.

And once you've got the results take it step by step. That goes for a neg result as well. Don't get into a vicious cycle of dodging bullets, feeling shame and acting out. Instead get to a point where you're comfortable with you're decisions and are able to stand behind the sex life you lead. Then the next time you won't freak out any more, because you're at peace with who you are.

[wood]

Hi All,

A good friend of mine, his bf and myself all went to the local clinic for routine screen last Tuesday. On Friday he called me to say he had tested poz, after a night of him sandwiched between myself and his bf crying his eyes out I realised that I am at risk myself.

The week before, he fucked me bare and blew in me, as his infection is new I assume his viral load would be quite high? I was already past the PEP window and was told there is nothing to do but wait. What are the odds I am poz? I tested neg from the Tuesday test but that would have been 1 week from our fuck, which I am assuming is far to soon. When should I next get tested?

Kinda freaking out...

There is no easy way to qualify risk on this particular situation.

In terms of his viral load it really depends when he was last tested. Viral load spikes way high at initial infection, then goes back down to a much lower level on its own even without treatment. If he was infected a year ago his viral load is probably relatively low. If it was a month ago, its gonna be high.

There isnt much you can do right now. Its says you are in san fran, and any clinic should be able to do a viral load test, which actually detects the virus, not just the antibodies. You can try and ask for that. I would try that in about a week.

I doubt this will put your mind at ease, but your risk at its highest is probably something like 2-10% HIV is relatively hard to transmit, even in higher viral load situations. There are lots of people that have unprotected sex all the time with poz guys and dont get it. I had a friend whose BF tested poz. My friend was the bottom, and had been getting fucked by him at least once a week for a few months when he found out, and he didnt get it. It all depends.

[caliboy236]

Thanks guys for all the comments, I appreciate the different views and stats. Spoke to my mate today, his inital CD4 count is 250 and while they didn't give him an exact viral load count they said it was exceptionally high. Still just waiting game for me I guess, im going to go for a test next week which will be 25 days, probably to early but at this point I am looking for every small glimmer of hope.

From my mates point of view he is furious that they have refused to start treatment for 1 month to give him a chance to consider if he wants to go on meds, he wants to start immediately and with his CD4 count they even told him they would normally start with that reading. He is going to a specialist next week so hopefully better news.

[Giveit2meraw]

Fingers crossed that you get the result you want...but if not I can share my experience (albeit from here in the UK) of my diagnosis of being POZ. I had been barebacking on and off for 30 years, not exactly chasing but willing to embrace the consequences of my actions. I had no fuck flu symptoms just a flare up of asthma that would not respond to medication, eventually after rounds of blood tests, a plummeting CD4 count prompted HIV investigation and by the time the correct diagnosis came my CD4 count was 27 with a Viral Load of 700K. Needless to say immediate action was undertaken and the drugs do work as 14 months on I am undetectable and my CD4 count is up to 450.

Yes there were some small side effects until the body got used to the drugs - I always needed to know where the nearest toilet was - but since starting the medication I have been monitored, initially monthly, now quarterly and have been really healthy ever since. You do need discipline to keep taking the meds at the same time day in, day out so I would advise anyone who has to take them to pick a time that really is convenient not just for the first week, but for every day of every week thereafter

It helps to have a good rapport with the hospital/clinic staff, smile, be friendly and ask lots of questions from those professionals and Poz brothers; there is no point trawling the internet looking at out of date info and freaking out coz anything older than the last two years is hopelessly out of date now.

As you can see there is this whole support "team" right here to help you through this if you do not feel like talking to anyone else at this stage or later. Good Luck m8