Why can't I stop barebacking?

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

I think the universe guided me to this post. I've struggled with this same issue for as long as I can recall. So far, I've *never* given in to the urge but it's like I'm dying inside.

Self-suppression and lack of authenticity are the real source of our woes. Unfortunately, even our community wants to pass judgment and make us feel guilty. My friends don't want me on PrEP because I'm single and don't have a monogamous poz partner. That, they argue, is the purpose of the drug, not to give me a license to be a cumslut. (Note that I've only been intimate a few times and I'm 36!)

I've been on the edge of accepting this unrealized and strong part of my self. This discussion is the first place I've found others who think it's okay to be me and it's definitely the first time I've considered us to be a necessary part of the symbiosis between tops and bottoms. Maybe this is the first step to believing that my self-worth is inherent and to becoming empowered.

I'd really like to chat more with other members who share this difficulty.

Greg it should not matter whether your friends want you on PrEP. Frankly it is none of their business. Your doc might question it, but fib if you have to and tell him you have a Poz boyfriend. PrEP will make you no more a cumslut than you already are. It just substantially reduces chance you will get HIV. Any "friend" should want that for you.

Regarding your self worth, a not uncommon problem. Try to understand that all this comes from within. That means all of this is something you CAN change. Will you? It is a choice at a time. If necessary find a counselor to help you through this.

[Poz1956]

[sarcasm mode ON] Gee I didn't know that PrEP was only for serodicordant couples! [sarcasm mode OFF]

 

PrEP is for anybody who considers themselves to be a sustancial risk of catching HIV.  It is an intellegent pre-emptive move to protect yourself.

 

And like Jizz said - None of your friend's business!

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Poz1956, to your point about serodiscordant couples... I agree. Locally in WI it doesn't matter. Docs here are progressive enough to know PrEP is for their patient. But I know there are areas of the USA where docs need to know there is a real and present risk, and delude themselves into belief that prescribing for a slut is against their values.

[bugpup]

I have a mate who is going through similar.

 He had been mostly safe top until the start of this year, and then took a couple of raw loads and gradually got more addicted. Our conversations have got hotter, as he finds his way around the bareback brotherhood, and discovers new thoughts and feelings. I like seeing the gradual descent of a man into a pigbrother, a guy who slowly accepts slams or drugs or no longer goes out fully geared to clubs, but starts dressing sluttier and sluttier. He on course to convert, sure, and he'll make a fine addition to the brothers. Once it starts, it's hard to turn back.

[averageslut48]

Well said, bugpup. I had bare sex my whole life and became addicted to it. But it was a long way to accept, who and what I am. And today I would never go back.

[swine]

Like Bugpup says, it's a real turn on watching a guy succumb to those desires that had always lurked, but somehow manifest themselves later in life. I had a mate who got well into it. Knowing his neg status was almost a challenge to the poz guys he was chatting to. Almost as if he was the last neg rubberpig. His fantasy went all too real when some guys at a club noticed he wasn't taking any cock up his cunt, and 'got him a drink'. Next thing he realised was his soon-to-be-bugdad wrecking his hole and he was finally in the brotherhood. He was like a different man the next time I saw him. Freer, hornier, a glint of evil in his eyes. He adapted well.

[seaguy]

I think the universe guided me to this post. I've struggled with this same issue for as long as I can recall. So far, I've *never* given in to the urge but it's like I'm dying inside.

Self-suppression and lack of authenticity are the real source of our woes. Unfortunately, even our community wants to pass judgment and make us feel guilty. My friends don't want me on PrEP because I'm single and don't have a monogamous poz partner. That, they argue, is the purpose of the drug, not to give me a license to be a cumslut. (Note that I've only been intimate a few times and I'm 36!)

I've been on the edge of accepting this unrealized and strong part of my self. This discussion is the first place I've found others who think it's okay to be me and it's definitely the first time I've considered us to be a necessary part of the symbiosis between tops and bottoms. Maybe this is the first step to believing that my self-worth is inherent and to becoming empowered.

I'd really like to chat more with other members who share this difficulty.

One thing I have learned about friends is they can be judgemental, especially gay friends.  Sure they may totally care about you, mine do but that does not stop them from being judgemental.  That is why I would not consult my friends when it came to deciding whether or not to go on PrEP it's a question that I will consult my gay doctor on and no one else.  If I were you I would take the friends out of the equasion.

[pjaco]

I fully agree with seaguy regarding friends being judgemental and there is no way I take their advise when it comes to any health issue except my doctors opinion.

Then I can not have said it better than bugpup once you have started barebacking its hard to turn back. I know I can't and has stopped trying and has just accepted it.

[evilqueerpig]

Friends can be judgmental, but that doesn't give them the right to run your life.  Going on PrEP will protect you from catching the bug, but that is something you must decide for yourself.  If you are truly addicted to cock, go with a 12 cock program, 12 cocks a week, or a day if your cravings are that strong.

[Newportwp]

Hi, I have also gone through the same issues not wanting to catch anything, worried about family and feeling that I am addicted to sex and not taking responsibility.

 

I have probably used a condom 3 times in my life but have fucked and been fucked a lot (I talking when I was living in London, 2/3 times a day at some points). I felt so bad but and tried to stop but realized that deep down I didn't want to the feeling was too good, feeling a guy cum and it pumping in to your ass is the closest you can feel to another person, I fuck guys a lot and also feel that when a guy wants to take it raw its him asking to be that bit closer even if it is anon meet its just one human needing to feel another naturally.

 

After many years of feeling bad, wanting to stop, etc I realized that I love have sex with guys a lot and I just embrace it. I tend to only go on bareback supported sites like Squirt or Bareback only sites like this one or BarebackRT. I always tell people before I meet that I am a barebacker and the chances of me having protected sex are nearly zero so that the other person can make that decision before meeting.

 

I say it might sound irresponsible but embrace the feeling of what turns you on the most, some like leather, some like fisting, we all may like a combination of fetishes because they make you cum the hardest, for us barebacking is one of those things that makes us feel massively turned on. I am not a bug chaser either and I believe that you can in some cases bareback safely to some extent. I again tend to meet guys often, regulars and one offs for fuck sessions, threesomes and instead of feeling bad I enjoy the feel and look of my bare back enter that guys ass, or his cock entering mine and feeling it cum knowing there is no barriers. 

 

If you don't want to do it and you can not embrace it or if you feel that you are doing things that are not in your nature then I think you have a sex addiction issue

[Guest ff-whole]

First I want to get some of my chest...

I don't want to get pozzed.

But I love barebacking so much and what it does to me... Bringing out the total slut in me. Succumbing to a top and get loaded with cum and raw sex... I've been in gay saunas on my knees and pumped full with cum, one after the other and it just felt so fucking good being used by tops I didn't even see or know.

It is hard to get laid here, otherwise I would be constantly dripping out my hole.

I wish I could get PREP here, but it is not yet available. As soon as I can get it, I will start using it though.

Edited September 22, 2014 by ff-whole

[Guest Saturn1]

Bottom line: BAREBACK feels SO GOOD and THAT is why you can't stop. The feeling of skin to skin is SO SWEET. The knowledge that you are being fucked bare and that there is NO barrier to stop the cum is hypnotic! When you BAREBACK, you accept the risk and you WANT THE SEED!!! Also, it is NATURAL! You WANT to get PREGNANT with another dudes seed but you don't have to worry about a baby, later. BARE SEX IS SWEET and to know that you have a HOT LOAD up your ass is enough to make you CUM WITH A SMILE! 

[sluttysublad]

I used to be very scared of becoming poz, but eventually I realised that I could either fear it or take ownership of it.  Taking ownership of those fears and giving into my inner bottom slut was the best, most enlightened thing I have ever done.  

 

Nothing beats the feeling of taking anonymous bare loads.  Giving in to the inner slut sets you free.

[Ozpig]

From the very first time a man shot his load into me and took my virginity bareback I was hooked. I knew that was what I wanted to keep happening to me for the rest of my life, and nothing has changed. I feel complete when I had hard raw cock inside me. I feel warm and comforted that I have pleased the top when he shoots in me. As a total bottom I see servicing tops as my role in life. I can never knock back beautiful stiff cock

[arawfuck]

it was the same with me  a guy i had wanted to fuck for a long time then one night i went to see him he was shaved and huge he said can i shave you  as he did  my cock gave it away he was going to get what he wanted and i did realy when his huge raw cock slipped  in my hole it blow my mind i loved it and i have never had a rubber in me from that day