Dude lied about his status and bred me

[power0459]

Hey all,

First time posting, so go easy on me. I just need to vent for a moment. I'm a 26 year old, fairly attractive, vers/bttm. I don't hook up often, but when I do it's BB. I've never liked condoms, and you can't beat the feeling of a man planting his warm load in you. I know that BB sex is risky, but I do what I can do minimize the risks by relying on the honor system when selecting who's going to fill my hole. That and prayer. haha

I was wasted one night back in March, after a particularly bad breakup, and met a dude on a4a, good looking, big dick, top, Latin.. we exchanged messages for a while, he assured me he was clean, so I agreed to meet him at his place. Got two loads from him. Fast forward to last week, he texts me and wants to go at it again. For whatever reason I felt uncomfortable, something just didn't seem right about him the first time we met. So I used the resources available to me (do not ask), and found out he was POZ.

I did an OraQuick on my lunch break and thankfully the results were negative. It was right at the 12 week mark, so I'm confident that I would've converted by now if I was going to.

I know I was being naive in assuming people would be forthcoming with their status, especially when engaging in bareback sex with others... but I mean that's just fucking heartless to know your status and not tell the dude you're seeding. He could've even told me afterwards so I could've gotten PEP, but he didn't. He doesn't know that I know, and I'm conflicted on whether or not I should tell him. I could open up the floodgates to HIPAA lawsuits, lose my job, etc.

I have no problem with poz people, my best friend is poz and an awesome guy, he'd never put someone in a situation where they could contract his strain without telling them.

WTF is wrong with people? I shoulder a lot of the blame in this, so I'm not trying to discount that. Should I confront him?

[DannyGoodman]

I shoulder a lot of the blame in this,

Cut him some slack. You made it easy.

[MackyJay]

I would not confront him angrily but would tell him that your sources tell you that he is poz and not what you want and at least give him a chance to explain or apologize first. Maybe your 'sources' are wrong too. He needs to know that you are aware of him and go from there.

[bbzh]

Don't say anything. And stop barebacking if you don't want to get infected and/or get on Prep.

There are plenty of people who think they are probably neg, but are poz.

You knew what you were doing and what the risks are. Stop trying to make this about him. It's about you.

You dodged the bullet. So stop playing with loaded guns.

[bottombottoy]

Its bullshit people gotta lie. I would just cut ties as long as your clean.

[RWHID]

You are to blame mostly, but some responsibility should be on him too. If he knew he was poz and lied about it, he should know you know, but make sure your sources are 100% first. Just tell him you found proof (if it's real) and ask him to explain why. The person who gave it to me lied to me for months. I asked and the answer was always negative. When he couldn't lie anymore he admitted the truth to me. I have forgiven him though. I see it as 50/50. If the person wasn't aware they had it, then I don't really see how they can be blamed for anything.

[Bear4Breeding]

Based on what you said about HIPPA, I wouldn't confront him. You could open your self up to something you really don't want to deal with. Test again in a couple weeks and/or get the Prep now. You know now, he doesn't need to know that you know and just don't hook up with him again.

[TigerMilner]

First time poster, so welcome. But I think you are a gossipy little bitch. You need to get over your self and take responsibility for your own actions.

[VersatileBreeder]

I wouldn't say anything to him, especially if your sources can turn this situation into a legal liability due to the HIPAA laws. Yes, he should have told you he is poz, but you also need to take responsibility.

I found out I am poz back in January and it devastated me. I never confronted the guy who gave it to me. I notified all guys I was with in the previous 3 months. One of them was a 19 year old top guy, a regular fuck bud, that flipped the fuck out on me and threatened me in all sorts of ways- threatening legal action and he vowed to wreck my life. He tested negative and then calmed down. But the fact of the matter is, he wasn't taking responsibility for where he stuck his dick. You also need to take responsibility for who you're allowing to penetrate you.

[power0459]

First time poster, so welcome. But I think you are a gossipy little bitch. You need to get over your self and take responsibility for your own actions.

Whoa, dude... harsh choice of words, and not at all apt. I have taken responsibility for my actions. I knew that I was playing with a loaded gun, so to speak. In fact, the last part of my post was "I know I shoulder a lot of the blame, and I'm not trying to discount that." I'm not necessarily angry with him, and I more than likely won't confront him. I had just kept this to myself for a while and I really wanted to vent to someone. It's the first time I'd (knowingly) encountered someone that was POZ and failed to disclose it before engaging in sex. I'm sure it's more common than I realize, but I still think it's at the very least callous.

I'm well aware that if I play with fire I may get burned, and this was a wakeup call. I'm not aware of any docs in my area that Rx PrEP, so if anyone has any recommendations on where to go in the Charlotte area, I'd be much obliged.

[iamabibottom]

you choose to go BB you always take the risk of hiv or STIs

[LeicesterUK_POZ]

For years I tried your method of bb and several times I end up finding out months later a guy who said he was neg was actually poz but I quickly realised that it was my arse I was letting them unload so at the end of the day its down to me to protect myself b playing safe (dull)...so the choice is don't bb, or bb and consider all tops as poz and then when you end up testing poz it wont be a stocker but at least you have enjoyed getting knocked up in the process!

To be fair...when I got stealthed I found it mega horny.

[power0459]

I know, and what's worse is that as I sit here typing this, I've got three fresh loads from two dudes swimming in me. Dammit. Cum is my heroin.

[LeicesterUK_POZ]

Nothing better than when a complete stranger empties his DNA inside you...only thing hotter I when a guy slides in after!

[rawTOP]

IMHO, it's completely accurate to say "clean" when one is poz with an undetectable viral load. They're some of the safest people you can have sex with. So if he simply said he was clean, he didn't lie.