Establishing myself

[rawTOP]

This was originally posted on my buds blog by LoadSwapper (drwri1@gmail.com) who described himself as follows...

Just a 40-something poz guy who's usually looking for some butt to breed. Sometimes looking to get bred himself. I like to keep my public life and my private life separate, so I won't be writing about my public life at all, just my sex life.

So I guess I should introduce myself, in order to get around to blogging about what a pig I am.

In general, I've got a public life, and a private life. I do not like the two to mix, because while I do not see any conflict between the two, I'm sure lots of other people would. In public, I am a reasonable, intelligent, hard working guy with a social conscience. In private, I am a nasty piggy barebacking poz guy who occasionally parties, and who really loves getting it on with anonymous guys. In practice, I'm probably about 70% top, but I like taking loads as much as I like giving them; it really depends on the guy and the circumstances as to which position I'll take. I do not use condoms, nor do I allow guys fucking me to use them, because I have a latex allergy that makes it impossible to get off as a top and painful for several days when I bottom (at least, if the top lasts long enough to make it worth the investment). Since making peace with that fact, and the fact that I'm now HIV+, I've also admitted to myself that I just prefer to do it the way nature intended. I love feeling my load squirt into a guy's hole, and I love feeling a hot load curdle in my hole for a few hours after I've gotten a good fuck. I get myself tested for all the other critters at least twice a year, and usually three or four times. While I think I drive my doctor nuts because I'm honest about barebacking when I talk to him, I also think he appreciates knowing what I'm up to; if I expect him to do his job well, then he has to know what he's working with. Given what a pig I am, I don't have to deal with other STDs very often, but they get dealt with.

I've got two regular fuckbuds, and as it usually goes the same way every time I'll introduce them.

There's a big black poz guy I call Old Faithful (OF) who's been a regular for a few years. I met him on Bareback.com (when that site didn't suck) and we were an instant match. We've gone back and forth as to who is dominant and who is submissive, and for about the last year we've settled on a routine together: he sucks me while I smoke (he really gets into me smoking), then he fucks a load into my hole, and then he either sucks me off (rare) or just gets me hard with his hot mouth and I breed him (more common). We've got real chemistry with each other and we've learned each other's buttons over the years; when we only have a little bit of time we can get each other off pretty quickly, but we prefer to spend a couple of hours together. We've partied with Ms. Tina in the past a couple of times, but that doesn't really work too well for either of us; still, if one of us is tweaked when we play, the other isn't judgmental about it. We try to hook up once a week.

Then there's The Newbie. I met him online too, where he was posting an ad for a raw poz top. Since he lives about ten minutes away from me, I took a chance on him. Ends up that he had recently been diagnosed as poz, and he didn't want to deal with the rejection he thought he would face from neg guys, which is why he specifically asked for a poz top. (Little did he know...) Since then, he's been back to be retested, and somehow it came back neg. I think there was a mistake somewhere and he's probably poz, since I'd been breeding his hole for quite some time at that point, but he's convinced himself that he's neg, and it turns him on a great deal to take my dirty loads in his hole. He saves up his own cum for me to use as lube (he freezes it, and I shove frozen cum cubes in his hole before I fuck it; works really well!) and he'll blow me a bit to get me hard, then assume the position on his back. He works my nipples while I either fuck his hole or jerk off, and when I'm ready to cum I bury that load deep in his hole. He's totally submissive to me, and I love that; I use his hole pretty much as a Fleshlight, I put a towel in his mouth to keep him quiet, and it's all about getting me off as selfishly as possible. Sometimes, if I'm in the mood to take a load, I'll either suck him off or let him fuck me, but generally it's all about me fucking and breeding him. I see him more sporadically; he's kind of a substitute for my hand, and makes his hole available to me when I would have otherwise jerked off.

I'm sure that someday, he's going to need to seriously face the fact that he's poz, and look into getting treatment, and I talk to him about that sometimes in that post-coital moment, as I'm relaxing with a smoke and keeping my cock buried in his hole as long as possible, but for the moment he looks and feels healthy, and I'm a big believer in self-determination. When he's ready to face it, he will, whether I'm gently nudging him, nagging him, or ignoring him.

Like I said, I'm not going to write a lot about these two, since most of our hookups look the same. I'll be writing about the other guys, those anonymous one-shot deals that stand out. Hopefully I have some inspiration (I guess I could call it "field research") for some new entries over the next couple of weeks, but if not then I can write about some previous encounters.

In any case, welcome to my private little world.

[MAIKOL20]

Cool laid back guy. :cool:The kind of top I could adjust to.

[positivemood]

Thanks for sharing..I am new here.