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Posted (edited)

I have an addiction. Well, I have several addictions that include Sucking Cocks, eating cum, drinking piss, eating man ass, and being fucked raw and seeded a lot.

Many of us share these addictions, but I have this sick, deep down desire to be totally destroyed by being exposed on the internet for what I really am--a male cum slut who has zero limits. It's become an addiction. I post photos and video of men fucking my mouth, face and ass, then later, usually after I jack off, I have deep regrets and try to remove all that I've posted of myself from the internet before family, friends etc see it. The deep remorse and fear I feel of being exposed after I get off (shoot my load) is amazing.

Here is a blog I have recently created with photos of me that I've found on the internet that other men and myself have posted over the past few years. They are photos posted at sites where I've been unable to have them removed when I feel remorseful. Amazingly, there are over 100 of them, and they're graphic--me taking cum facials, sucking ass, cock, even drinking piss.

http://faggotcocksucker.blogspot.com/

My gay nephew (a real asshole) has come across most of it on the net at places like Tumblr and he's shown it to everyone in my family which is really aweful. Not a single old friend will speak to me anymore.

What do you guys think of my addiction? I'm bisexual, maybe that's my biggest problem because I continually try to look "straight" to my family and friends and to any potential girl friends, while deep down, I crave cock and cum and I LOVE being used and degraded by men.

I'd love to her your thoughts about what I should do. Should I move from this red neck state I love in to a more gay friendly area and celebrate that I'm an aging, financially secure, male porn slut, or should I continue to remove all I can from the net and continue pretending to be totally straight?

Thanks in advance guys.

Edited by Cocksucker
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Posted

Move today. Next week you will wonder why you waited.

For the record, I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. I understand on some level the shame is arousing to you, but I think you are magnificent. Suck on!

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Guest indynudeguy
Posted

Nothing to be ashamed of at all. It was your example that got me posting my pics on the net.

Posted

Thank you both, I really appreciate what you said. I wish I had the courage to move today...Not having a single friend here (since they've all seen me in porn on the net), sure makes for a lonely life.I wish you guys were closer so we could be friends. Thanks again.

Posted

Wow I actually feel the same way. I'd both love and hate for people to find see me being slutty. Def turns me on though, so keep at it haha

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Posted

I often like to post pics of myself online being slutty, and I get off on seeing them spread, the likes, comments, reblogs etc. I feel like it's a real representation of who I really am, and I get off on being told i'm a whore etc. But then sometimes (usually after cumming) I sometimes think I should take them down. Sometimes I do delete them, sometimes I don't. I find that feeling of remorse usually disappears after an hour or two and i'm happy for them to be online again. I think it's mainly that feeling of post-cum shame that totally kills your horn as soon as that jizz leaves your dick. The same problem that prevents you swallowing your own cum after you've shot etc...

For now, i've tried to restrict sharing them to like-minded people and communities, such as this place for example. So if anyone's interested, I have some pics of me being a slut in an album on my profile ;) hehe

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Posted

I agree. Move some place re friendly to who and what you are. Thee I nothing wrong with your desires. Pic ad vids of them are great and you should never feel guilty about posting them.

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Posted
I often like to post pics of myself online being slutty, and I get off on seeing them spread, the likes, comments, reblogs etc. I feel like it's a real representation of who I really am, and I get off on being told i'm a whore etc. But then sometimes (usually after cumming) I sometimes think I should take them down. Sometimes I do delete them, sometimes I don't. I find that feeling of remorse usually disappears after an hour or two and i'm happy for them to be online again. I think it's mainly that feeling of post-cum shame that totally kills your horn as soon as that jizz leaves your dick. The same problem that prevents you swallowing your own cum after you've shot etc...

For now, i've tried to restrict sharing them to like-minded people and communities, such as this place for example. So if anyone's interested, I have some pics of me being a slut in an album on my profile ;) hehe

So glad to hear that you feel the same way as I do. I always thought I was unique in an especially fucked up way. Did you take a look at all I posted of myself at my blog?

Here's the link again if you'd like another look. I even have a page where I show you what I did for a living, my day job, and links to my Facebook pages.

http://faggotcocksucker.blogspot.com/

NOTE: if you try to look at my blog and it isn't allowed, check back in a while. I sometimes block access to it after I get off and feel all that remorse. But I always open it back up when I start feeling horny again... Crazy, huh?

Posted (edited)

I started out exactly the same way about 4 years ago. At first I started experimenting with making hidden camera videos of anonymous sexual encounters. Then I got up the nerve to create a profile on xtube. I got such a rush out of seeing how many men got off on my videos. I'd get a new rush every day as I watched the numbers go thru the roof, then as they would get up near a half million views, I'd get that same remorse you mentioned and delete my profile. Then a few months and few new videos later I'd create a new profile and do all over again. Then one day a friend of mine confronted me after finding me on xtube and said "Hey, you told me you quit doing that" and he got all self righteous about it. It really made think about what I was doing. The next day I made a new profile with the name Tiger Milner on it and the rest, as they say is history. That is until xtube banned me from the site just before I hit 2 million views. Since then i've started my own blog and have given up doing hidden cam videos as I have learned that they are illegal. My blog now averages between 30K-35K views a month! That is a lot of jerking off! I've also experienced having people from work find my blog and getting fired over it. It didn't stop me, but it did make me feel somewhat betrayed by my own blog, but I'm getting over that. You do have to develop a somewhat thick skin as your work gets more and more attention. It is great when it gets popular, but you do get some negative along with the good. But hey, I'm only human and I do have feelings. But I believe in what I am doing, I love what I am doing, and no one is going to stop me from doing it. No one should stop you from doing it either. Be who you are. Let the world see it. And, FYI, even after getting banned from xtube my new profile Banned4good is about to hit 2 million views any day now with absolutely no promotion on my behalf. It's my little fuck you to xtube for taking my name away from me. Banned for good my ass!

Edited by TigerMilner
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Posted
I started out exactly the same way about 4 years ago. At first I started experimenting with making hidden camera videos of anonymous sexual encounters. Then I got up the nerve to create a profile on xtube. I got such a rush out of seeing how many men got off on my videos. I'd get a new rush every day as I watched the numbers go thru the roof, then as they would get up near a half million views, I'd get that same remorse you mentioned and delete my profile. Then a few months and few new videos later I'd create a new profile and do all over again. Then one day a friend of mine confronted me after finding me on xtube and said "Hey, you told me you quit doing that" and he got all self righteous about it. It really made think about what I was doing. The next day I made a new profile with the name Tiger Milner on it and the rest, as they say is history. That is until xtube banned me from the site just before I hit 2 million views. Since then i've started my own blog and have given up doing hidden cam videos as I have learned that they are illegal. My blog now averages between 30K-35K views a month! That is a lot of jerking off! I've also experienced having people from work find my blog and getting fired over it. It didn't stop me, but it did make me feel somewhat betrayed by my own blog, but I'm getting over that. You do have to develop a somewhat thick skin as your work gets more and more attention. It is great when it gets popular, but you do get some negative along with the good. But hey, I'm only human and I do have feelings. But I believe in what I am doing, I love what I am doing, and no one is going to stop me from doing it. No one should stop you from doing it either. Be who you are. Let the world see it. And, FYI, even after getting banned from xtube my new profile Banned4good is about to hit 2 million views any day now with absolutely no promotion on my behalf. It's my little fuck you to xtube for taking my name away from me. Banned for good my ass!

Thank you for telling your story! That's great! Would you like to fuck me BB on camera to post at your blog? You can show closeups of my face as I suck cock or drink piss, There is not a thing I'd say no to. Your story gives me added courage to continue. No one in my family speaks to me anymore, so why should I care what they think now? Especially since my Cocksucking career began when I was forced to suck the cocks of my much older brothers when I was five-years-old.

Same goes for all my "old" friends who no longer have anything to do with me. And my former co-workers, hah! They're all totally freaked out about it. (DID you look at the page at my blog "My Day Job"??? to see what I did for a living before going public as a cum addicted porn slut????)

I hope to hear from more of you. Please look at my blog and tell me what you think. You can be honest, my feelings can't be hurt anymore than they already have been by the betrayal of family and friends. Where would be a good place for me to move to if I decide to leave this red neck state where gays and bisexuals are treated like trash? I'm financially secure but not sure I could afford a home in many areas of CA. I'd like to live where there are LOTS of men who enjoy using a cum slut like me, and maybe we'll make a few more videos and photos to share with the world.

Thanks again!

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Posted

I did look at your link. Looks like you have done way more than I have. Good for you. As for moving, I live in South Florida and I don't have to deal with any of the redneck attitudes you mention. Anywhere from Orlando south is good, but stick to the larger cities as some of the smaller towns can get that redneck vibe as Florida is in the south. St. Pete would be my choice if I were starting fresh. It has a vibrant art community and a large gay community and it's a beautiful city with lots of coastline. Close enough to Tampa that you get all the benefits of a major urban area as well. Of course Ft Lauderdale is the gay mecca, but it is congested and many guys I know who live there say it is more fun to visit than to live there. Great shopping though.

If you want to stay deep south but more urban, I'd suggest Atlanta. I love Atlanta. It's where I'm originally from and if you like men of color, you will be in heaven. If I didn't have kids located in south florida I'd move to Atlanta in a heartbeat. I can't handle the cold winters, but you are probably still used to them. Good luck.

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Posted
I did look at your link. Looks like you have done way more than I have. Good for you. As for moving, I live in South Florida and I don't have to deal with any of the redneck attitudes you mention. Anywhere from Orlando south is good, but stick to the larger cities as some of the smaller towns can get that redneck vibe as Florida is in the south. St. Pete would be my choice if I were starting fresh. It has a vibrant art community and a large gay community and it's a beautiful city with lots of coastline. Close enough to Tampa that you get all the benefits of a major urban area as well. Of course Ft Lauderdale is the gay mecca, but it is congested and many guys I know who live there say it is more fun to visit than to live there. Great shopping though.

If you want to stay deep south but more urban, I'd suggest Atlanta. I love Atlanta. It's where I'm originally from and if you like men of color, you will be in heaven. If I didn't have kids located in south florida I'd move to Atlanta in a heartbeat. I can't handle the cold winters, but you are probably still used to them. Good luck.

That's great info, thanks! I'll for sure visit St. Pete as a possibility. I have 2 boats so I'll love all the coast line around the St Pete area.

I'd assume that nearby Tampa is large enough to have some hot and seedy bookstores or other places with glory holes? I LOVE sucking cock anonymously through glory holes. I've thought of setting one up at my home and I might when I move out of this red neck area.

I've been to Ft Laud and that is where I sucked the largest cock I've ever seen in person. He was black (of course) and it was so big I had to strain to get all of the head into my mouth. And I've never had trouble deep throating any man's cock before. I begged him to fuck me but he only wanted head. Probably just as well since my ass would have never been the same after! (not true, I've been fisted and even after that, it eventually tightens up enough to squeeze cum from hard cocks!)

I really appreciate your advise, and welcome anything more you can offer.

Posted

That was me exactly - I'm still working to find someone to make some actual BREEDING vids with but I still have my cum swallowing and jo ones on my sexyboi231985 profile from several years ago. I got a rush seeing a million and something views...then when dude tube and other sites picked 'em up for reposting and people from all over the country started messaging me...I was equally mortified and instantly rock hard at the same time.

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