Should I Care That My Bf Pnp's?

[losttop]

My bf does occasionally PNP and then he becomes a cum crazed junkie inviting all kind of guys over to our home. When he is with me he doesn't do it as I don't PNP. He is then rather repressed.He is open about it though and we do have a open relationship.... I do like to invite other guys over to tag team him but most of the time he is not up for it. As I travel a lot and enjoy whoring out guys I enjoy inviting tops over to breed some slut. Most of the time he is then very critical about the guys that come to my partys but when he is high I know that he invites guys over that r less than "pretty" so to speak....is he being an HYPOCYTE or am I? The truth of the matter is that I enjoy sharing him with other guys but don't like necessary to transform our home into a sexclub. I rather do it while we r in a strange city. The city and the community where we live is kind of small and it kind of bothers me that people would talk about us when we go out.... Should I not care? The truth of the matter is that I start to resent him for it.... I find the whole PNP scene such a looser scene.... Am I maybe over reacting?

[C10H15N]

No. You have an extremely accurate grasp on the dynamics of partying.

Edited August 11, 2015 by C10H15N

[NLbear]

You posted several topics about you and your BF. From what I have been reading I wouldn't want to be in a relationship like you and your BF have. He doesn't like things you want to do with him. You don't like that he is doing things with others that he doesn't do with you. From what I read you two are not sexually compatible.You both want different things,

 

You want to whore him out but then you do not want your house to be known as a sex club? Then don't. Simple. You travel a lot, You're in an open relationship. Then your BF can do what he wants when you are away, Do you know what's he's up to when you are away?

And what do you do on your travels? Fucking strangers in your hotel room? Does your BF know about those?

 

You and your BF have a very strange relationship.

[losttop]

I don't like tweakers walking in and out of our house no. I know what he is up to when I'm away as he tells me and I do same.... So no problem there.... He has issues yes.... What really bothers me is the drug aspect. And I do agree with u.... Our relationship is somewhat strange and I start to resent him for that...

[Kylan]

An essential element in running a successful relationship is really accepting the truth of the old " you can't change what  other people do; at best you can only maybe change how YOU react to their actions."

If your bf likes to be a partypig, then he is going to be a partypig.  If that fact annoys you, then you are going to be annoyed. It sounds like he may be showing you some respect and courtesy by not trying to party when he's having sex with you,  If I were him I would be a little annoyed that you complain about me being repressed, but criticize me for partying to get un-repressed. BUT since I'm not your bf, I can admit that there are certainly a number of potentially serious issues involved in regular drug use and those issues are easier to brush off if you are the drug user, while they tend to be bright, flashing warnings if you are the bf of a drug user.  

My point is, if each of you can't find a way to accept the way your partner behaves, then maybe you are better off not being together. 

More important I just clicked on you and saw that you have posted about you bf demeaning and emotionally abusign you. I think we have all already told you to walk out on this one.  You don't need to find 6 different reasons to leave.    Stop posting and start packing.

[wood]

My bf does occasionally PNP and then he becomes a cum crazed junkie inviting all kind of guys over to our home. When he is with me he doesn't do it as I don't PNP. He is then rather repressed.He is open about it though and we do have a open relationship.... I do like to invite other guys over to tag team him but most of the time he is not up for it. As I travel a lot and enjoy whoring out guys I enjoy inviting tops over to breed some slut. Most of the time he is then very critical about the guys that come to my partys but when he is high I know that he invites guys over that r less than "pretty" so to speak....is he being an HYPOCYTE or am I? The truth of the matter is that I enjoy sharing him with other guys but don't like necessary to transform our home into a sexclub. I rather do it while we r in a strange city. The city and the community where we live is kind of small and it kind of bothers me that people would talk about us when we go out.... Should I not care? The truth of the matter is that I start to resent him for it.... I find the whole PNP scene such a looser scene.... Am I maybe over reacting?

 

No. You have an extremely accurate grasp on the dynamics of partying.

 

You posted several topics about you and your BF. From what I have been reading I wouldn't want to be in a relationship like you and your BF have. He doesn't like things you want to do with him. You don't like that he is doing things with others that he doesn't do with you. From what I read you two are not sexually compatible.You both want different things,

 

 

I find all of these views to be fairly accurate.  I also don't PNP, and am not fond of the scene.  Its not the physical act of doing it, its EVERYTHING and the mountains of bullshit that come along with it.  I have never seen or met a guy that PNP's with any sort of regularity that I would consider "well adjusted"  The ones that do PNP tend to over do it, and eventually get way too much into the scene.  Of course this is a generalization, but I have seen it happen countless times.  It starts with just trying it, to not wanting to have sex unless they are partying.

 

Then there are the health effects.  You would have to be extremely dense to not realize that doing meth is bad for you.  It causes severe lung damage if you smoke it, rots your teeth, and if you slam it, you are pretty much destined to get HIV and or HCV.  Hep C is no joke, and is an easy way into an early grave.  

 

As the OP also noted, there is then the aspect of how sketchy some guys that party are.  I've had guys flip out on me because I didn't want to do it.  Mind you this was in a mixed setting where many guys were not.  Inviting a whole bunch of guys over to "party" doesn't sound hot to me, it sounds like a big liability.

 

For reference, I am also talking about meth.  Yes there are other drugs that are also dangerous, and destructive, but meth is the one that many including myself consider to be a scourge on the community.  I am really not trying to be judgmental, but as I said before, I have seen it all too often.  Hell even going on the enhancements or hiv fetish forum on here, its obvious what a different dynamic there is.     

 

For the OP, I think its only a decision you can make on what to do with it, but as others have noted, you may just not be right for each other.  Best of luck with figuring out the situation.                

[cam1972]

More important I just clicked on you and saw that you have posted about you bf demeaning and emotionally abusign you. I think we have all already told you to walk out on this one.  You don't need to find 6 different reasons to leave.    Stop posting and start packing.

This. This says everything that needs to be said about this entire situation.

[losttop]

Thanks everyone for all ur advise. I'm not happy at times in this relationship And don't like the use of drugs...

[bbzh]

..I know what he is up to when I'm away as he tells me and I do same.... 

I have a hard time believing that.

 

Break up or accept his bullshit.

He's never going to change. He's fully cooked. As are you.

Do yourself a favor and find your own bliss.

Stop trying to rearrange his life to suit your tastes. He will come to resent you for it, just as you are starting to resent him for not being who you want him to be.

[drscorpio]

Thanks everyone for all ur advise. I'm not happy at times in this relationship And don't like the use of drugs...

Then the question is not "should I care that my bf pnps?"

The question is "Why should I be with someone who PnPs if that is something that bothers me?"

 

This is what Dan Savage calls the Price of Admission. To be with this man, you have to accept his need to be a PnP slut with others. Some tops would get off on that. You don't. Move on and find someone who's Price you are willing to pay. 

[losttop]

Then the question is not "should I care that my bf pnps?"

The question is "Why should I be with someone who PnPs if that is something that bothers me?"

 

This is what Dan Savage calls the Price of Admission. To be with this man, you have to accept his need to be a PnP slut with others. Some tops would get off on that. You don't. Move on and find someone who's Price you are willing to pay.

I do get off on the fact that he gets used by others but I don't necessarily understand the PNP part. He gets all paranoïde And thinks that people r after HIM .trust me I know we r done...

[cam1972]

Thanks everyone for all ur advise. I'm not happy at times in this relationship And don't like the use of drugs...

I'm not sure it's advice that you are wanting, given the many times we've given you advice and you ignored it. Or maybe it's not the advice you've hoped to hear. Either way, it's a waste of everyone's time (including yours) to keep posting on here about your situation. By now, you should know what everyone is going to say. Almost 100% if not 100% have told you to leave him from the very first time you posted about him. In my opinion, life is too damn short to live with someone you resent. But you are choosing time and again to stay with him. Until you are truly ready to give him up, we can give all the advice we can give, but unless you take it to heart and act on it, it does as much good as a folded up umbrella in a rainstorm. Kindly said... You need to wake up and realize he is not the one for you and get the fuck out of dodge. But I dont believe you are ready to do that. So I'm really not sure why you keep asking. Except to vent as you said before. You can only do that for so long before people stop caring. Leave him or learn to deal with it. Those are your two options. Can't change a zebra's stripes.

[seaguy]

I party but the one thing I don't do is party and invite other partiers I just met or don't know over to my place because if there is one thing I have learned guys who are into partying non stop tend to have sticky fingers to fund their habit and you'll end up missing stuff as a result.  So I would be concerned about that, unless your BF is locking the valuables up before he has his playmates over?  But it sounds like you two have different interests and unless one of you is willing to change then it might be best to go your separate ways otherwise you'll always be having differences that cause issues in the relationship.

[losttop]

Although I don't like that he PNP I don't mind it so much as he does it on occasions and normally when I'm not around. What I find frustrating is that he then becomes a true cumslut and when he is with me, he is most of the time this fucking repressed asshole! We r talking about the issue though about to make him less repressed without doing drugs.... What also bothers me is that he has conversations with me about not doing drugs and he is going to look for therapy and that he shouldn't be such a whore...and then few hrs later like nothing happened he is looking to hook up with everyone that will breed his hole. When he is sober he will accuse me of sleeping with just anyone...while I have checked some of the profiles of guys he hooks up with and these r far from attractive or young...then I think ....u r a fucking hypocrite!

[bbzh]

..hmmm...

 

does anyone know the name of the disorder that makes one get on a public forum and talk about the same situation over and over and then complain when someone calls you on it? 

 

isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?

 

well let's all wait for the next installment of this drama which has been going on close to three years now...maybe i will cut and paste all of losttop's stories into a post next time..  like a did a while ago. Then we can all say, oh you still with that douchebag bf of yours?

 

#blessyourheartbaby