Accepting The Fact That I've Probably Become Infected

[concerned1]

Thanks for PM'ing me. As a result, let's close and forget this thread now and treat it as dead. I wanted someone to PM me all along, that was what I asked for. Fillmyhole thank you, I am going to the private message section now, let's talk for a few minutes .

[drscorpio]

Fillmyhole, even in the unlikely event I test negative (yes unlikely, no matter what you say....nobody can BB this amount of times without PREP or PEP or without testing and remain neg...it seems you just want to ruin?), will there be positive guys (undetectable) who will be willing to allow me to have fun with them???

You are being a little hysterical. In the 15+ years I was bottoming bareback before starting PrEP, I took hundreds of loads from boyfriends, tricks, and strangers at the bathhouse without becoming poz. Yes, it is true you COULD have contracted an STI, but the chances are not so high as to make suggesting you are negative a crazy thing. 

 

Check out some actual numbers http://www.poz.com/pdfs/P04-14p53.risk_transmission.pdf 

[tboyer]

Where can I find fellow poz guys who are undetectable?

Not every poz guy that says he is undetectable is, some guys lie, but I do think a guy that says he is undetectable is safer that a guy who thinks he is "negative" but barebacks, some guys don't know others lie

[garsento]

Thanks for PM'ing me. As a result, let's close and forget this thread now and treat it as dead. I wanted someone to PM me all along, that was what I asked for. Fillmyhole thank you, I am going to the private message section now, let's talk for a few minutes .

 

This is your choice, but you should be aware that while you did engage in relatively higher-risk activities than topping with a condom, your risk i not nearly that high. Aidsmap has a good list of the possibilities.

http://www.aidsmap.com/Estimated-risk-per-exposure/page/1324038/

 

Even if all of the half-dozen or so encounters you had were with people who were HIV-positive and not on medication, the odds would be very greatly against you being infected. I would say it was substantially more likely that your partners were either HIV-negative themselves or perhaps HIV-positive and on medication, knocking the chances down even further.

[wood]

 With all do respect (and honestly, you seem nice and have been kind enough to respond to my thread) may I say, "come on man, get real"? ! I've BB'd 7/8 times....in the absence of PEP afterwards or PrEP beforehand....to have avoided infection would be almost impossible.

Thanks for the serosorting info. But may I ask, what is BBRT?

 

I mean this in the nicest way possible, you are being a complete alarmist.  You are also looking for affirmation here, when what you really need is a HIV test, which can be had in so many places.  

 

Your approximate risk of acquiring HIV from an HIV+ person not on medication is as following on a per occurrence basis. 

 

receptive anal intercourse - .04%-3%

insertive anal intercourse - .03% 

 

This is on a per occurrence basis, and they are not cumulative, so the risk stays the same after each occurrence.

 

So really just go get a damn test instead of assuming you are HIV+ or HIV-.   

 

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Risk_of_acquiring_HIV

[topstud127]

You're fine. You're topping, and if you're circumcised, you should be fine. Was a bottom bleeding or making a mess on you or gave you any STD? Otherwise, don't worry about it.

 

I was dating a guy for a year and a half. Didn't know he was positive for much of that time (man child afraid of doctors). Barebacked often. He was a total bottom. He topped me once and came in me (before we knew), luckily the cum didn't absorb and came out the next morning and he wasn't endowed.

 

The amount of other guys I've BB topped, I don't even know. Would freak out when I got tested, but I was always fine. Anyway, still neg and on Prep now.

 

I would advise you to regularly get tested, but the odds are in your favor.

 

Side note, I'm always curious how any tops catch it.

Edited October 22, 2015 by topstud127

[cumluvnbottom]

Concerned... It really sounds like you don't want to hear this but, based on your account above, you did not engage in extremely risky sex.

You were top, you don't mention anything about having cuts / scratches on your dick (which would have allowed any fluids easy access to your bloodstream), those were very brief encounters with minimal thrusting, etc. Etc. Etc.

To put it into context... I have mostly been a bottom since coming out in 1995. I started barebacking on a regular basis a couple years later (let's say 1999 as a conservative estimate... Had bottomed bareback before then but usually at least tried to play safe) , I had lots of casual / anonymous sex (probably 50 to 60 partners per year ... Again a conservative estimate). I hooked up with guys in bathhouses, gone home with strangers from bars, etc. (Not saying I'm a slut but.....). I had hooked up with guys that I knew were positive. And despite all that, I stayed negative until 2006. I was tested every 6 - 1 months and I was diangosed just a couple months after I appear to have seroconverted.

So, no, it is by no means a forgone conclusion that you are poz. I do wonder if you are trolling here just a bit since your post above says you are "strictly" a top but your profile lists you as a bottom.

Edited October 23, 2015 by cumluvnbottom

[concerned1]

I am sorry if you think I'm a troll, I did not know my profile had that, I've changed it to Top.

[TigerMilner]

nobody's going to tell you that you're right, because you AREN'T right.... start to bottom and you'll more likely get IT...

 

This is CRAZY

The sky is falling the sky is falling.  Dude, you are being ridiculous.  I barebacked as a bottom for over 25 years with hundreds of men and only got the virus three years ago. You thinking your situation is dire after only eight encounters is absurd.  The virus is hard to get.  Even if you fucked a positive bottom with a high viral load, you would have had to have blood contact in some way.  True, it only takes one encounter, but stop with the dramatics.

 

What you need to do is go tomorrow and get tested. Stop with the "probable acceptance" crap.  Accept the truth when it becomes your reality.  After you get tested, then you need to get on PreP and go fuck some holes.  A premature ejaculator can be very popular in a gang bang setting where a bottom is taking loads. But, for now, enough:  go get tested. You have nothing to accept at this point except that you are overly dramatic.

 

Sorry if I sound harsh, but eight times topping bareback is nothing. GO GET TESTED TOMORROW.

[PhoenixGeoff]

I accept the odds are not in my favour at all, I know I am most likely if not inevitably positive - despite being exclusive top in all BB situations I have done (I know of many positive guys who got infected being the top on only one or a couple of occassions....so the odds for me are dire)....I'm already going through the accepting phase of my new virus, what I want to know is not whether I'm infected or not because I am (or at least most likely am)....I want to know whether I should continue to BB (by attempting to sero-sort or whatever) or should I just use condoms from now on, should I just do whatever I feel like doing on the occassion?

You can feel free to Private Message me instead of adding to this thread .

 

I hate to straight up contradict you, but you're very wrong.

 

At one point or another, I actually crunched through the probabilities based on the best data I was able to find regarding HIV transmission rates for both bottoms and tops (incidentally, the risk to a BB top is about an order of magnitude lower than for the bottom because the bottom gets the load), and the prevalence of HIV in the gay community.  Neglecting the effects of HIV meds (which greatly lower the risk of transmission), the odds of getting infected are, IIRC, very low.  As in less than 1% for the top.

 

Why is it so many gay men have HIV then if it's so hard to transmit the virus?  Easy:  the virus only has to be transmitted once.  Every time you have unprotected sex, you raise your cumulative risk of infection.  The more promiscuous you are, the greater your chances.

 

Even so, my admittedly back-of-the-envelope calculations showed that a bottom who wasn't serosorting and always barebacked would have to get fucked hundreds of times to have a 50/50 chance of getting HIV.  Of course, as this site shows, there are quite a few of us who are that promiscuous, especially looking at our sexual activity over a lifetime.

 

Reading through your post, it sounds like you fucked bareback seven times.  It sounds like you didn't know the status of any of the men you fucked (it's entirely possible that all, some or none of them were positive...you don't know).  To me, it sounds as if your risk of infection right now is very low.  Not zero, but unlikely.

 

That doesn't mean you shouldn't take action now.  Cumulative risk, remember?  Each time you have sex, it increases your overall odds of infection.  So here's what I suggest:

1. Go get an HIV test now. 

    

2. Wait until three months after your last time fucking someone bareback, then go get tested again (this is because there is a time gap between when you are first infected and when your body starts producing antibodies that the HIV tests detect.  During that time it is possible to be infected and yet still test negative.  That window closes after three months).

    

3. If that test is also negative then you're home free.  Now you have a choice.  Either resume your previous life and only use condoms when you have sex.  OR (and this is my suggestion), go to your doctor, tell him or her you are sexually active with other men and want to get on PrEP.  You'll get a prescription for an HIV med.  Start taking it as directed.  Then go out and breed all the ass you want.

[berlinboi]

Better still seek out a 4th generation test where the exposure window is 28 days.

[PhoenixGeoff]

Better still seek out a 4th generation test where the exposure window is 28 days.

 

Yeah, it's been years since I had an HIV test, so I'm not up on how well they work now.  Things have improved considerably since I tested positive

 

Incidentally, I found the thread where I geeked out on all the probabilities.  It's here.  Note that when I wrote that, we still weren't sure how well PrEP would work.  Turns out it works a lot better than I thought at the time.

 

Also note that a guy taking absolutely no precautions whatsoever and getting fucked and bred 45 times by total strangers still is more likely than not going to be HIV- still.  So topping seven guys raw means your risk is really very low (but again, not zero...get tested!)