How Do You Let Go?

[mikey8780]

Hello, just hoping I could get some advice... I've always wanted to release my inhibitions and become the true cum slut I feel inside. Let start with a about myself...

I'm 22 and I've been cruising and trolling around gay hookup sites since I was 18. I've almost never met anyone not because I wasn't popular, but because I was a constant flake. It's not like I don't want to, I have just always had this fear right before I finally make a commitment.

I have been with men though, but only 2 notable times. My first will always be my favorite and I had multiple encounters with, but since I moved I never see. The second was good but mostly because he chatted with me for almost a year before he finally convinced me.

With my first I was 18, he was my first REAL gay hookup. He knew. We made plans and I got as far as the drive way before I started hyper ventilating and fumbled for my phone to call it off. He saw through my excuse to be called into work and merely replied "You get here NOW, boy!" I could only whimper to a "yes sir..." when I got there I had almost all my fantasies fulfilled as he throat fucked me over the side of his bed and then bent me over to take my cherry... didn't even ask to use lube or a condom...

I've longed for that feeling again but nobody just hits that spark I'm tired of being a flake and using chat to get off. But I just don't know how to stop myself for from holding myself back. I always make the excuse that I have work or family will find out. I just don't know what to do... maybe I'm just being a bitch

[chargedodger]

You don't HAVE to do ANYTHING!Everyone grows into their personal sexuality at their own rate,its NOT a competitive event.There is a significant stage of development where you are into porn and fantasize and jack off a LOT.BE there.DO that.Sooner or later the situation and right guy will enter your life and seduction may be a matter of minutes,or days....maybe weeks.The point is don't be so hard on yourself,at 22.If I were in your shoes(GOD would I LOVE to be 22 again!)I might lookup gay outreach programs at your local community or college.Develop some relationships with gay men that are not yet overtly sexual,you will meet someone who will be just what you want,and you will be just what they need.Patience,and think of pornshop hookups are like fast food,they may keep you from starving but probably not a real good thing as a steady diet.

[submissivebottom74]

Hey Mikey8780,

I have to agree, that you are being a bitch, but that is okay since most gay men are. In all honesty though, I understand where you are at, however if you keep leading guys on, then they get frustrated and this is the reason most gay men are get angered and jaded. As for me, I did not have the opportunity to be choosy since I was first used at the age of 5. By the time I was 11, I was visiting the local park, where guys who were ages 18 to 90 would use me.

 

The only advice that I can give to you is be careful, do not lead guys on, just tell them your fears. Yes, fantasy is nice but if you lead a guy to believe that you are honestly going to meet, then this is when the trouble begins. Please, be safe and honest. Though I have only used a condom 4 times in my life, I had never contracted any disease or virus. Until up to August 2014 when a guy that I had been chatting with told me he was negative and his profiles all said negative. I trusted this man, as I trusted all men. As he was leaving the next day, he said "By the way, I am poz. My partner gave it to me, why not share the gift." Well, that was the first time this happened and 5 months later, I was infected and confirmed, then in December, introduced to the first drug of my life. I never even had marijuana due to a THC allergy, and the drug they gave me was meth through a booty bump. Never told me they were going to do it, just put it in the lube. Now, to this day, though I do have sex and I do party, it is on my own terms. I do not trust guys and I choose to do what I want. I am honest with them however and tell the guy or guys exactly what I am looking for.

 

Just remember, be honest and be up front.

[paris_student]

Yes, just be careful who you play with, and if possible try getting on PrEP - I did that and now I feel totally free !!

[nastybottom]

You've got to learn to shut off the negative thoughts that are racing in your mind when you're on your way to a hookup. It's natural to be a little nervous, but not if it's stopping you from doing what you want  to do. The trick is, once you've arranged to meet and are on your way to his place, to recognize when those thoughts are arising and push them out of your mind. Don't think about them, just shut them out. Work, family? Nope, bye-bye. It takes practice to do this, but it works. Once you have his cock in your mouth and hands, then you are good to go.

Edited May 6, 2016 by nastybottom

[gaynevets]

Doitbb4me and nastybottom both have excellent advice. I've been where you are, had cold feet, got over it. You will, too. I felt it was easier when I could host because once I gave out my address, that was it; dude was coming to fuck me and I couldn't really stop him. I couldn't get cold feet at that point. If you can't host, be honest on-line. TELL guys you're a beginner and that you need to be eased into the encounter. Any top worth a damn will take his time to cultivate a young bottom boy like you and will put you at ease in the process.

[mikey8780]

Wow guys thanks really digging into all the supportive comments and thank you I thankfully make it very clear I cant host... but usually vague about a date. The problem is I REALLY REALLY want it... just nervous lol maybe a should just move back home and be on a leash where I belong ;P

I'm just tired of so many missed oppurtunitues I sadly don't know the etiqutte or really where to cruise to keep me satisfied on the side though

[NLbear]

I understand what you're going through. We all more or less started that way, me included. All I can say is don't be a flake. Once you flaked on someone he will never hook up again, potentially losing a great fuckbuddy. Just be honest, tell him you're not very experienced (you don't have to tell how unexperienced). If the response is rude or nasty just let it go. If it is considerate and understanding go for it.

Sure, not all hookups will be what you expect from it but you won't know until you tried.

And get on PrEP if you can if that's what worrying you as well.

[bberik]

It took me a while too. In the beginning I was worried about taking cock raw, I was worried about diseases, but in the end when the other guy was about to cum, I just said shoot it inside me. I just didn't give a shit for a short moment and that was enough. I was hooked. Same thing with swallowing, in the beginning I didnæt want cum inside my mouth. When it finally happened, I was thinking, what do I do with it. Without thinking I just swallowed it. But to be honest, having a few beers first helped.

[einathens]

doubt means don't.

 

if you're not 110% sure it's something you're ready, willing and able to do, don't do it.

you have the right to say no or to stop at anytime.

 

you don't owe sex to anyone. 

 

I don't think you're being a bitch. I think you're being 22.

 

don't rush yourself, and don't allow anyone else to do so. 

[Arkanboy]

If you know it's what you want, you just have to push yourself into the new experience, so you become accustomed to it. Hot story, btw.