paris_student

Oh absolutely, they tried so hard to convince me to try the "on-demand" thing, but I just take it every day, it's easier and psychologically at least I feel really protected. Yes, no publicity whatsoever. The official Fb page for PrEP in France painfully reached 2,000 members after 8 months. The perpetual pushing of "condoms condoms condoms" at any cost is also quite preposterous I dare say. And about the gay population here: spot on ! Most people don't know what the fuck they're doing (and who they're doing). It's such a mess. "on PrEP" profiles are still very rare, and unfortunately you do get slut-shamed when you mention you don't use condoms. The nicest comments are the ones that say "wow you're really reckless, aren't you afraid of catching STDs and eventually dying ?". And it just demonstrates how separated and un-united we are as a community.

Hello again ! Glad my post got some reactions, we need more people to know about this !! A few thoughts: I think that the US is overall a more progressive country than even any country in Europe (maybe except for the Bible Belt and Rust Belt), but overall it is the case. France, on the other hand is VERY conservative, and what amazes me most is that even gays themselves are becoming more and more conservative. A few years ago a sex-club in Paris was forced to shut down and file for bankruptcy because the owners planned on organizing bareback parties. How crazy is that ? The HIV prevention groups and campaigns have been doing their job wrong for YEARS, with lame inefficient advertisements emphasizing the need to wear condoms, and completely discarding the issue of condom fatigue. As for straight people, each time I read the comment section of an article about PrEP (not that there are that many articles about this in the first place), it is FILLED with straight men (who probably also have sex with men) telling us to "just wear a condom". It's apalling and preposterous. So what do we have instead ? Well, we have sex-clubs and places everyone knows are filled with barebackers but they're not officially promoted as such, in fact by the law they are obliged to have free condoms and lube available for anyone, but the condoms are rarely tapped into. It's a kind of a Harry Potter-esque bipolar world where you know Voldemort is wandering around somewhere, but under no circumstance are you allowed to say his name. I get routinely insulted on sex-apps and gay websites by very ignorant people who say that I will contract HIV and that I deserve to die from AIDS. It baffles me that in the age of the Internet there are men who don't know what PrEP is... and all the info is just a few clicks away !! I was kinf of hoping for the UK to "jump on the PrEP train" but unfortunately the NHS said "No". I really thought that they had potential to push the PrEP issue in Europe. However, one good thing that happened in the last few days in Truvada being recommended for HIV prophylaxy in Europe by the EMA (European Medicine's Agency). More about this here: http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/866524 In France everything is very shaky, the Social Security system itself has been in debt for decades, in fact when I go to my PrEP meetings the doctors insist heavily on me getting my Truvada from the Hospital Pharmacy instead of a normal private pharmacy in town, because although I don't pay I cent for the pills the State pays 10% less for them (which is around €50 by box) in the first scenario, for some twisted reason. That's how bad the situation is, because every Euro counts. I was hoping for the generics to come by January 2017 and somehow lower the burden, but now it seems that they're going to be introduced even later (possibly 2018). I have two other arguments in favor of PrEP: I live in the real world, I drive a car (with the risk of having an accident), I go out to buy my groceries (with the risk of being shot or run over by a car or kidnapped), and it's the same thing for my sex life. I don't live in a cave or in a monastery, nor am I a hermit. I am a man, which means that I have instincts that need to be fulfilled, and sex is a very healthy part of any human life. Therefore I am allowed to ask for protection, because abstinence is just not the solution. The same argument was used back in the day for the pill. People were saying that it's ridiculous, that it will completely liberate women and change the way our civilization works, that all women will become worthles w***es that will be spreading their legs to every men that'll cross their path... Nothing of that has happened. Granted, men cannot get pregnant, but women haven't become reckless s***s, nor will men in the long run. I look forward to reading your commentaries and reactions.

I'm from France and on PrEP. It's basically hit and miss. It's true that we have PrEP, but only since November for the initial authorization, and the first doctor's appointments were being taken in late december/January 2016. New PrEP centers are sprouting all around the country, but unfortunately it's only been... 7 months (!!). I guess another reason one may find condom nazis just like in your case is because we've been so brainwashed and frightened for so many years that often people just adopt this "condom-or-nothing" approach. Despite my young age and okay body I'm having trouble finding BB tops here in Paris just because of how scared people are of STDs. And that's knowing that as a bottom I'm WAAAAYYY more lunkely to contract and STD. Then there's a lot of slut-shaming going around, because we're being called gay truvada whores (by other gays mostly who still think condoms are the only solution to fight AIDS...) and also by straight people who don't want to pay their tax money to sustain our "decadent" lifestyle (PrEP is fully reimbursed here through Social Security). So... yeah, it's tough if you accidentally meet a Frenchman. However hung/hot/sexy/muscled the guy is, if he doesn't fuck bare and if his brain is polluted with stupid rubish from 20 years ago, there's not much I can do, and that's a huge turn-off for me anyway.

You can also see that when you're out in the streets, just the way some men look at you, like they scan you from top to bottom with their eyes, or have that really deep penetrating look... it's because they're into men, even though they can be out acting "straight" and be drinking coffee with their "straight" worker friends, or even worse when they're out with their wives/girlfriends ! #WAYMORETHAN3%

Definitely Berlin, that city REEKS of hot BB sex, it's really a must for anyone who's serious about breeding :-)

There's also another interesting aspect to all this, namely that HIV is still a taboo topic in lots of societies (maybe not that much anymore in Europe/the US, idk...), and furthermore it's not just any taboo, it's the ultimate taboo. I remember talking to a guy not so long ago whose aim was to create a gay state/country/republic where public sex would be free. And then I thought to myself that such an idea would never work, solely because if being gay loses it's taboo aspect and becomes commonplace, it's not going to be as fun. Same for HIV. But I totally agree with you bbalphaboy, I would totally surrender to an alpha muscle top like you and take your babies anytime.

I think that unfortunately for many people HIV gives this special spice to sex, however deadly and terrible this disease is. It's like the pleasure of driving fast without the risk of crashing, for some it would feel wrong. But I agree with you, such a world would be nice. Maybe without Hepatitis C as well ??

For starters if you want to please him I'd recommend to make some research about douching and being "clean". Then I'd say you need to invest into some poppers, especially if you've never been with a dude before, you'll need them to relax and they'll also make you crave that dom daddy dick ! :-)

Okay, so following your advice (great thread and nice guys/pieces of advice BTW), I bought some Chia seeds in a local Bio store (quite expensive actually...), brought them home and put a couple of teaspoons into my evening tea. Now I realize I was sort of stupid because I didn't go through all the way through this forum thread, but I discovered that the seeds actually produce a kind of jelly substance. Their taste is neutral but it definitely wasn't a teacup I enjoyed drinking. In fact I almost puked, the texture totally grossed me out. So is using a blender the only way to actually integrate them into my diet ? I'll also try them with my yoghurt/salads, but I realize that putting the whole seeds in contact with water is definitely a no-no for me, any ideas guys ?? :-)

Yes, just be careful who you play with, and if possible try getting on PrEP - I did that and now I feel totally free !!

Yes, leather69 is right. Be careful of other "nasties", especially if you're into other stuff than strictly "cock-to-ass" sex. I'm thinking about fisting (with the risk of there being blood...), chemsex, etc.

Wow, kikou... ! Thank you for your VERY detailed response, it's a very refreshing read, with lots of things I personally did not know. It's a gold mine in terms of useful info for anyone who's interested in PrEP, thanks again. Nevertheless I still quite frankly find it strange that the doc offered me to take PrEP with an "on-demand" protocol, considering that: - IPERGAY isn't finished yet, which means that it is an ongoing trial which needs to be continued, with the results not being definitive (yet). So what it entails is that doctors must trust the WHO and thus stick to, as you say, "recommend[ing] daily PrEP as the best option." - I personally find that daily pills are way easier to take (think about women) than "on-demand" doses, especially because sex is a very spontaneous act that doesn't always go along with the "2 pills two hours before sex + 1 pill the day after + another pill another day after that" type of policy. - the best predictor of future behavior is not (always) past behavior (cf. the questionnaire they ask you to fill out before your appointment that enquires about your sexual behavior in the past 3 months --> what kind of rubbish is that ??), since men are extremely inconsistent beings in general... Sorry for the long posts and my bitching, but I just want to determine what's best for me and for my health. Thank you in advance for your answer(s).

You're always welcome :-) The interesting thing about HIV is that it's a very fragile virus outside of the human body, and typically starts to die within hours of the infected guy's sperm being ejaculated (outside of the human body I mean). From what I understand the longest it can survive is up till a few days in dry blood at room temperature. I remember being lectured about HIV being still "alive" in used syringes (but I don't slam so it doesn't concern me) and also on dried blood on the neck of poppers bottles (due to possible micro-abrasions in the nose when sharing poppers, but that's very unlikely anyway). I also know that when they take your blood for HIV screening they store the blood in specific fridges, without the virus diminishing its activity, so that gives you a clue about HIV surviving extreme cold. HIV doesn't tolerate anything acid either, that's why it's killed fast in saliva and possibly by a woman's vaginal secretions. I think the bottom line here is that environmental transmission of HIV is very low, since HIV cannot multiply outside of a "host" that has cells it can infect (unlike fungi or bacteria) and needs very specific conditions to survive, namely controlled temperature and an airtight space like a sealed box. I'm not a doctor though, so if anybody knows anything more please chime in !

Well, putting numbers on such things is always difficult, especially because no specific studies have been conducted on such a scenario. I can't imagine a lab knowingly putting fresh loads into a bottom's ass, then making HIV-negative tops "butter-churn" it all in order to see who is going to get infected in the long run and come up with some figures. I guess the only sensible thing to do is to actually talk about it (hard to do when you're "in the moment", but still...) and say that even though you yourself are protected the loads you get fucked into you are not "safe" by definition. Bottom line: giving and receiving unprotected anal sex are both high-risk as far as HIV goes. Fucking as a top is "safer", especially if you're circumcised, but the risk isn't equal to zero, and quite a lot of people get infected that way, with the other guys' cum going into the tops urethra and potentially developing from there. You can use the doc I've attached if you want some figures, but once again the main idea is that ,nothing is risk-free. P04-14p53.risk_transmission.pdf

Thank you for your kind words I wish there more young people like me who'd take HIV seriously... I guess you're right. And I don't think Truvada is a heavy drug, it was presented to me as a "heavy drug" by the medical staff.In fact back in the day I remember going on PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) and not feeling any side-effects whatsoever. Another thing is that here in France we don't have to worry that much about affordability and costs, since it's taken care of by our Social Security system which gives us the pills for free. The only thing I need to pay for is the HIV test & bloodwork (~€30) and the appointment (€23). So in the end the total cost would be €53 every three months, which is more than acceptable.

So today I went to my PrEP appointment at a hospital in Paris to finally get PrEP prescribed. Everything went smoothly until we started discussing the PrEP usage that I'd prefer, with me boldly stating that I'd like to use it daily for maximum protection. However, the doctor felt that an "on-demand" protocol, whereby I'd be taking two pills before having sex, then one pill on the next day and another one on the day after, would suit my needs even better. I guess that she was right in that I didn't have much sex in the last three months (because of me waiting for PrEP and because I don't like to use condoms anyway), however the thing I wanted to ask you all is whether you think that not using PrEP daily would have the same levels of protection as daily use. Now the thing I didn't tell her is that I'm going on PrEP because I'd like to be more active sexually and attend local sex clubs with a "no loads refused" policy, with me being the bottom. And for some reason I feel that taking a pill before and after a bareback orgy is not enough to protect me from all the potential HIV that would be contained in the tops' cum... I understand the doc's concern about Truvada being a "heavy" drug, but I'm willing to take the risk to take it daily as long as my kidneys are being monitored and checked regularly. The funny thing is that at the end of my appointment I still got a box with 30 pills in it, which as I understand would be reniewed at my next appointment in a month's time (first check-up is in a month, then every three months), so the doctor's remark wasn't due to her wanting to "save money" on me, since as we all know Truvada is quite an expensive drug. In the end I guess I'll still be able to use it daily for at least a month anyway... What do you guys think about this ?

This guy is definitely no twink... You can be 25 and look 35-40ish.

Well for me the goal would be to get on PrEP for free, which became available in France not that long ago, and then to take my first bare, and eventually first positive load, followed by many others I hope... Go to a sauna or club/bar, spread my legs in the darkness and let them inside, enjoy that intimacy with complete strangers, with the mixed smell of sweat, cum and poppers, feel them bust into my guts, just to feel free, to feel liberated and finally get rid of fear by letting them enjoy my naked body for their sole pleasure without caring about their status or identity. But none of this for now. The hormones blur my brain and torture my senses. I still have to wait...

Right. Here on the other side the LGBTs themselves are the ones who need more info/education about how PrEP really works. Very few friends of mine know what PrEP is, but luckily most doctors I've talked to are up to snuff as far as professional knowledge in the field of STDs is involved. As for sex clinics, there are plenty of them here in Paris and in any big city. Though I suppose PrEP will be difficult to get for those who live in the countryside. For example there are only 2 HIV prevention centres in the "department" where my parents live (departments are kind of like states but much much smaller), the closest one still being a two-hour drive away... On the bright side though I've read a few articles that talk about the idea of a possible expansion of the right to prescribe PrEP to "family doctors", provided they receive proper training beforehand.

I guess that you should explore yourself more and define what you want from "sex" with a man: oral, only anal, being the top, rimming, fisting, being both top & bottom, etc. Also try to get some info about STDs (if that's not already the case) in order to determine what you're willing to put up with and what you're willing to forego.

Yes, you're right. France is a very centralized country, unlike the US, so everything has to go through very precise and sometimes convoluted procedures. I guess that what they want to avoid is massive fraud when it comes to prescriptions, since France will be the first European country to publicly release PrEP on a large scale. The general procedure doesn't seem to be that difficult though: you just need to go to your local sex clinic/CDAG (anonymous STD screening centre) to get tested and then talk about your situation and why the use of PrEP is justified in your specific case. That's it. And everything is of course reimbursed by the Sécurité Sociale: a win-win situation.

You're welcome Yes French men are nice, especially the mixed/Caribbean ones, yummy ! Being called names is nice too I guess, as long as the deeds follow the words.

FIrst post Back to Booner's question. There are several places you can go to: Saunas: - Sun City: Large sauna, beautifully designed. Not much action, guys tend to "turn" a lot, so there's not much really going on. Many beautiful boys/men to be found, but don't expect them to make the first move. One exception though is the tiny darkroom upstairs. - IDM sauna: smaller than Sun City, but still nice. There's a dark area at the very top, and you might get lucky there. Sexbars: - L'Impact: Friendly bar with a nice atmosphere. Nakedness is mandatory ! :-) When you arrive you're given a black plastic bag where you can put your belongings/clothes, which you then hand over to the barman who'll ask you for your initials so that you can get it back at the end. There's a flight of stairs that'll lead you to the basement, where there's a sling, some cabins and a room with some glory holes. - Le Bunker: More like a cruising club. Once you put your stuff in a locker just go downstairs for the fun to begin. Lots of action in the darkroom. Mostly BB... Nightclubs: Le Dépôt: Lots of black and oriental guys, and considered by many to be the dirtiest and trashiest gay nightclub in town. Once again, all the fun happens in the dimly lit barkroom downstairs. Guys tend to be shy, or at least not bold enough to make the first move... so don't hesitate to "grab their attention" if there's someone you really like. That's about it I guess. @NLbear : Paris has changed a lot. I'd say that the Marais (literally "the Swamp") is still the place to go to if you're after the typical/caricatural "gay experience", i.e. go-go dancers, leather bars, sexshops and expensive clothes. In reality though the Marais is only just a couple of streets, not more than that, and most gay men don't live there, since it became basically too gentrified and thus way too expensive. One can run into a lot of gays closer to the axis that goes from Bastille to République, where the unfortunate shootings took place. On a more global scale though, I'd say that the weight has definitely shifted to other European cities, e.g. Berlin, London, Barcelona and Brussels to name just a few.