Is Versatile The New Bottom? #bottomshame

[Guest SBBOY]

I know this isn't a new thing/topic but what's the deal with bottom shame and bottom shaming? Why do we think less of someone if they're a bottom? Is it because bottoms haven't been portrayed in a good light through porn/social media? Because a bottom can't be seen as manly? I doubt it'll ever change but we really need to try and do something about it, #BottomRevolution! We need to adjust our attitude to how we treat other members of the LGBT community. 

 

It's forcing bottoms into hiding their true identities and being elusive when it comes to online profiles. 

 

Speaking to a guy online who listed his profile as vers and the title line of the profile talks about being vers. So I message him and he flips out at me, saying he's not a top and then changes his profile to say 'versatile play - not a top'. How can that be?

 

I know there are truly versatile guys out there. But I think there is a majority of 100% bottoms hiding behind the versatile label. 

 

What does everyone else think?

[topstud127]

WTF does "Versatile Play (Not A Top)" mean? He wants his dick sucked and wants to eat ass but draws the line there? Just say you're a bottom. 

 

Bottom shame is real but I don't think its that deep, especially on a hookup site where all anyone wants to know is how you wanna fuck.

[chasejake666]

I dunno - I see a lot of proud bottoms on BarebackRT and Craigslist. They're my competition!

 

I think it's an American trend to be insecure with ideals of masculinity - I just don't see that kind of discomfort in other countries. Bottoms have the reputation of easy sluts, sure, but for some that's a label they'd rather not have.

[C10H15N]

It's all about supply and demand. Not enough tops, way too many bottoms.

[fuckrogerbb]

I've had the same thing happen to me on hookup sites. Guys say they are versatile(I 'm a bottom). I find someone interesting who says he is versatile and when I contact him he comes back and says he's a bottom. Don't waste peoples time and yours. Say what you are. there's no shame in any of those categories. I do think a lot of tops don't respect their bottoms. Think about it you need them Don't disrespect!

[not_sure_bb]

i avoid versatile guys cause i want TOPS

[Guest SBBOY]

WTF does "Versatile Play (Not A Top)" mean? He wants his dick sucked and wants to eat ass but draws the line there? Just say you're a bottom. 

 

Bottom shame is real but I don't think its that deep, especially on a hookup site where all anyone wants to know is how you wanna fuck.

 

I'm glad I wasn't the only one confused by this!

i avoid versatile guys cause i want TOPS

 

I usually only search for tops and vers tops on bbrts etc. 

 

And when I'm in the mood to top then I search only bottoms. 

 

I completely ignore versatile when searching

[Cumfilledbottomboi]

In my experience, "vers" is code for bottom. Like the "bi now gay later" coming out process.

[barejackbro]

Kinda tangential to what you're talking about, but...

 

About a year ago I fucked a guy in a sauna - as a lifelong and very proud bottom, no one was more surprised than me. 

So for the last year I've had bottom/versatile on my Scruff profile, even though I haven't fucked anyone else.

This thread has inspired me to remove that versatile listing and, aside from that obvious one-off, go back to being a 100% and very proud bottom! 

Thanks guys!

[hungry_hole]

This thread has inspired me to remove that versatile listing and, aside from that obvious one-off, go back to being a 100% and very proud bottom! 

Thanks guys!

 

But that shouldn't mean that you will never fuck and breed another hole again. Many 100% proud bottoms believe that if they enjoy the occasional fucking they'll stop being 100% proud bottoms. I've read many accounts of 100% bottoms who to get get their rocks off breed a hole and their bottom identity is not threatened. 

 

For a bottom to attach "versatile" to their preferred role they must enjoy the fucking itself and be able to fuck for a few minutes. As when 100% bottoms fuck they usually don't last very long.

[bbzh]

Proud versatile bottom here. 

In fact, I fucked a guy bb yesterday in the sauna. 

I get fucked WAY more than I fuck, but I am not going to "mislabel" what I am. 

 

To be honest, I don't really like the labels we have in the gay community. 

 

I think we as gays think labels save us time, but they also cost us some pretty hot sex too. 

 

Chats online basically rule out someone because of the box they have ticked. But in a bar, darkroom or sauna, you don't necessarily have this label. If you see a guy that turns you on, you are free to do whatever you want with him. And enjoy it.

 

To the 100% bottoms reading this, focusing too much on tops is causing you to miss out on some great fucks from versatile bottoms and versatile guys. And it makes tops even pickier. This is turn makes bottoms feel even more discouraged. It's a vicious cycle.

[Ddawg]

I think it goes a couple different ways:

1) Masculine fragility- taking it makes you less than a man

2) Perceived as lazy

3) Perceived as selfish

4) Gender Equality- especially younger people have embraced gender equality, transmogrified it to mean that a healthy relationship is 50/50 vers between gay males

5) Perceived as drama queens

I'm a total bottom, I'm upfront about it. I put it in at least 3 places on online profiles and people still message me as if I'm a top. People approach me in bars they treat me as a top, even when I say bottom, they continue to try for my dick. I don't like my dick touched, sucked, or in a hole. I am a bottom.

Edited July 10, 2016 by Ddawg

[Ddawg]

One thing that confuses me is that most gay men are willing to accept a Kinsey Scale of gay/straight spectrum, but unwilling to accept there is a similar top/bottom spectrum as well.

[KindaBasic]

I think top has become the new bottom. I've lost track of guys who say they are tops online but want to get fucked once they show up.

Edited July 11, 2016 by KindaBasic

[hungry_hole]

To the 100% bottoms reading this, focusing too much on tops is causing you to miss out on some great fucks from versatile bottoms and versatile guys. And it makes tops even pickier. This is turn makes bottoms feel even more discouraged. It's a vicious cycle.

 

I agree. Many total bottoms make the mistake to only want total tops to fuck them. As a total bottom I've never rejected anyone because they are not total tops.

 

On the contrary, I remember a summer when I was in my 30's, kept myself in excellent shape. I was in a new city for the summer and would get off on hooking up with "total bottoms" and eventually getting them to fuck and breed my hole. As I knew I was hot, tall, masculine, nice body and good size cock, the bottom, with some exceptions, would eventually get a hard-on, and then they would feel my already lubed hole, and the fucking would come next. After breeding my hole one of the bottoms said to me "You tricked me". I kept meeting with a couple of them for the remainder of the summer. Feeling horny and enjoying sticking your stiff cock in a wet eager manhole is part of the physiology of men and has nothing to do with being top, bottom, or versatile. 

 

When I spend the night at the bathhouse I make sure to have my hole available at the time when the crowd starts winding down, and guys starting leaving. I know that at this time many guys who have been bottoming all night are horny and like to end the night with a good fuck so they look for a hole to plant their seed before they go home. Some enjoy the fucking itself and can go on for a long time before they unload. Other bottoms don't really enjoy the fucking itself and just want a hole to unload instead of having to jerk off. Just because a bottom breeds a hole he doesn't have to renounce to his total bottom status.