Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[jd13]

On 12/27/2024 at 7:48 PM, BB4fking said:

Grindr remains my mainstay app but I have found very little action locally in the last 6 months. I have a few theories why but really aren’t sure. I may becoming unattractive, perhaps beards are no  longer sexy. The local pool is saturated, guys who see me online have seen me before and skip past, maybe I need to change profile somehow. Users have applied more filters. 
On the other hand I get plenty of sex on Grindr when I travel. So I tend to think all the local guys have already fucked me if they want to. I must go somewhere to be fresh meat.

Grindr is always very fickle, and I've noticed that process intensifying in the past year. I put this down to the fact that Grindr is entering a process of severe 'enshittification'.

This is a concept from Cory Doctorow to describe systematic decline in online platform and social media quality, in which user experience is first sold to advertisers, then both user numbers and advertising revenue is shaken down for the shareholders. Facebook is, for example, terminally enshittifed now.

But you can see that Grindr's use of adverts which hijack the whole screen, and their random and sudden appearance mid-usage, or when typing/exiting a message... that's exactly the enshittification that Doctorow speaks of, and makes Grindr increasingly annoying to use.

Wiki page on enshittification here: [think before following links] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enshittification

I give Grindr about three to five years before it becomes functionally unusable. There's a reason up-and-coming apps like Sniffies ar ebeing talked about so much these days...

 

[PozBearWI]

Grindr has for me become spam central.  Easily half, maybe more messages are just spam from some GQ photo that undoubtedly isn't the guy sending the message.  

[Poz50something]

4 hours ago, PozBearWI said:

Grindr has for me become spam central.  Easily half, maybe more messages are just spam from some GQ photo that undoubtedly isn't the guy sending the message.  

Have never been, am not, nor will I ever be on Grindr. Is it because it’s so easy to have a smorgasbord of guys? No - it’s the way they treat non-white guys. BBRTS is okay, now that I state I don’t want PNP. Every other message was ‘wanna blow some clouds?’ ‘I have a friend who my meth dealer’ - no he ain’t your friend…he’s your dealer…. I’m kinda old fashioned. Love the decadence of saunas, but et then, after 11pm, it’s tweak city. 
Used to be on Silverdaddies, but it’s people who want to bla bla bla. 

[ellentonboy]

9 hours ago, phillygwm said:

I've never done BarebackRT, I'll have to take a look.  Sniffles was a bunch of games.  Scruff is OK if I'm out of town but the people near me are pretty well picked over.  Either they've rejected me or vice versa.  And Grindr, which used to be OK, is now largely pros or people looking to parTy.

I miss having a bookstore or movie theater nearby.  Not that I was always successful there but my batting average was much better.

I am originally from Philly and now live in Florida. I can tell you that the BBRT Philadelphia room is very active. I have messaged with guys there and since I visited regularly I like to have some guys lined up in advance. I have done that on other sites as well but BBRT has been the best when looking for tops or vers guys, some are poz like myself and some are not. All the tops on that site, as expected, have promised no condoms would be involved. I realize you may run into some of the same people as you do on other sites, but these guys are serious about bb sex and your status does not matter.

[blackrobe]

10 hours ago, jd13 said:

I give Grindr about three to five years before it becomes functionally unusable. There's a reason up-and-coming apps like Sniffies ar ebeing talked about so much these days...

We are already there.

As an older guy, I'm the target of so many fake profiles and scams that I could spend my entire app time reporting them. Grindr, it it's infinite greed, has decided that interrupting me with an ad when I'm reporting a profile is a great idea. I close the app immediately and my report gets thrown away. I block the profile and don't invest any more time reporting. Net result being their platform stays polluted with scam and fake profiles. 

They are constantly trying to get me to subscribe, but the platform and experience is so compromised that is *never* going to happen.

[PrisonbaiT]

Use mainly planetromeo, sometimes i delete it for a while because i see always the same faces.  Recently I reopened my profile, and the amount of fake accounts that contacted me was over the top.   Mostly young oversea guys from the USA Serving in the military somewhere in Iraq or Afghanistan and asking for "love" while working in the military undecover. Think again gays have brains to and know their news.  It ends always asking for e-mail adresses or sometimes straight away money.   Online dating has it's end, open the bars again so we can go hunting again the old fashioned way.  When at my age a stud with good looks at 21 tells me i have nice eyes, there is something fishy about it, or he is blind

[jd13]

10 hours ago, blackrobe said:

We are already there.

As an older guy, I'm the target of so many fake profiles and scams that I could spend my entire app time reporting them. Grindr, it it's infinite greed, has decided that interrupting me with an ad when I'm reporting a profile is a great idea. I close the app immediately and my report gets thrown away. I block the profile and don't invest any more time reporting. Net result being their platform stays polluted with scam and fake profiles. 

They are constantly trying to get me to subscribe, but the platform and experience is so compromised that is *never* going to happen.

You're right. That is exactly Doctorow's definition of 'enshittification' right there, in the experience you report. I may have been overly optimistic in saying 'three to five years'

[rawinme]

I'm a computer guy, not a phone or APP person, so I like using sites like Squirt, Manhunt and Sniffles.  I have very good luck with those three.  I miss Doublelist before it went to hell and I miss the old Craigs List.  None were or are perfect but each have (or had) their strong points, too.  For me the pleasure is quality, not quantity, so making quality connections is most important although seedy ABS and outdoor connections can be a huge thrill.  

[topblkmale]

On 3/19/2025 at 2:19 PM, Poz50something said:

Have never been, am not, nor will I ever be on Grindr. Is it because it’s so easy to have a smorgasbord of guys? No - it’s the way they treat non-white guys. BBRTS is okay, now that I state I don’t want PNP. Every other message was ‘wanna blow some clouds?’ ‘I have a friend who my meth dealer’ - no he ain’t your friend…he’s your dealer…. I’m kinda old fashioned. Love the decadence of saunas, but et then, after 11pm, it’s tweak city. 
Used to be on Silverdaddies, but it’s people who want to bla bla bla. 

 

It's not Grindr. It could be where you live.

 

[topblkmale]

42 minutes ago, rawinme said:

I'm a computer guy, not a phone or APP person, so I like using sites like Squirt, Manhunt and Sniffles.  I have very good luck with those three.  I miss Doublelist before it went to hell and I miss the old Craigs List.  None were or are perfect but each have (or had) their strong points, too.  For me the pleasure is quality, not quantity, so making quality connections is most important although seedy ABS and outdoor connections can be a huge thrill.  

 

Grindr Web is nice.

 

[rawinme]

7 minutes ago, topblkmale said:

 

Grindr Web is nice.

 

Grindr web wants me to download and join the APP first.  I don't use apps.

[408curious]

On 3/19/2025 at 3:21 AM, jd13 said:

Grindr is always very fickle, and I've noticed that process intensifying in the past year. I put this down to the fact that Grindr is entering a process of severe 'enshittification'.

This is a concept from Cory Doctorow to describe systematic decline in online platform and social media quality, in which user experience is first sold to advertisers, then both user numbers and advertising revenue is shaken down for the shareholders. Facebook is, for example, terminally enshittifed now.

But you can see that Grindr's use of adverts which hijack the whole screen, and their random and sudden appearance mid-usage, or when typing/exiting a message... that's exactly the enshittification that Doctorow speaks of, and makes Grindr increasingly annoying to use.

Wiki page on enshittification here: [think before following links] [think before following links] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enshittification

I give Grindr about three to five years before it becomes functionally unusable. There's a reason up-and-coming apps like Sniffies ar ebeing talked about so much these days...

 

My god.   At least I could understand that they had to make money somehow when youd get forced into and ad when backing OUT from a message, but now they do it checking INTO a message!

Quite sometime ago, when Gridr was all stupid game ads, I ended up with a lot of those games which i DID NOT download myself.  Since then, i kill the app window whenever they pop up.

[408curious]

On 3/19/2025 at 2:09 PM, blackrobe said:

grindr, it it's infinite greed, has decided that interrupting me with an ad when I'm reporting a profile is a great idea. I close the app immediately and my report gets thrown away. I block the profile and don't invest any more time reporting. Net result being their platform stays polluted with scam and fake profiles. 

 

Hah!   Grindr really does seem to despise it's users.

[ellentonboy]

On 3/19/2025 at 5:31 PM, PrisonbaiT said:

Use mainly planetromeo, sometimes i delete it for a while because i see always the same faces.  Recently I reopened my profile, and the amount of fake accounts that contacted me was over the top.   Mostly young oversea guys from the USA Serving in the military somewhere in Iraq or Afghanistan and asking for "love" while working in the military undecover. Think again gays have brains to and know their news.  It ends always asking for e-mail adresses or sometimes straight away money.   Online dating has it's end, open the bars again so we can go hunting again the old fashioned way.  When at my age a stud with good looks at 21 tells me i have nice eyes, there is something fishy about it, or he is blind

This is happening in the US as well, on Adam4adam.  I had a guy who sent photos to me, of his bunk and military quarters, and in his uniform.  They are always overseas and will be back in a year - to get you to tag along.  They say they are looking for love and relationships - I quickly shut them down and tell them I am only interested in the sex.  Funny thing, the guy who was sending me the pics of his "military quarters" while in uniform, had an active Manhunt account maybe 10 miles from my home.  I messaged him and told him I recognized him, and what was the purpose of him pretending to be overseas?  He immediately blocked me.  

Sadly, I have heard of men in their 40s, 50s and 60s telling me they are in some kind of a long distance, internet relationship with a young hot guy who is stationed overseas.  When I asked to see the pics and profile, on at least once occasion the pics matched the guy I had been talking to.  Though he didn't want to hear it, I told him of my experiences and that the guy was a fraud.

I just wish people would come to the realization that these apps and online sites are not meant to find Prince Charming,  more like Prince for the Night.   Though I do know of couples that have met each other online and are still in relationships, those couples are few and far between.  Let's get it clear here, people are not looking for love, they are looking for sex (and maybe money).  The sooner we all admit to that, the better off we will be.

[SomewhereonNeptune]

On 3/19/2025 at 2:19 PM, Poz50something said:

Have never been, am not, nor will I ever be on Grindr. Is it because it’s so easy to have a smorgasbord of guys? No - it’s the way they treat non-white guys. BBRTS is okay, now that I state I don’t want PNP. Every other message was ‘wanna blow some clouds?’ ‘I have a friend who my meth dealer’ - no he ain’t your friend…he’s your dealer…. I’m kinda old fashioned. Love the decadence of saunas, but et then, after 11pm, it’s tweak city. 
Used to be on Silverdaddies, but it’s people who want to bla bla bla. 

Hey, did something happen with SilverDaddies recently? I hadn't been online in a couple months (ok, 2024) and found that my ID would no longer work. I'd had gaps previously, but wondering if they did a purge?