How to identify?

[Guest bbncguy]

So, as a married man, and a wife that has not put out since the flood...is there a way I could identify myself as a bottom? I wish there was something I could do to a hat, or something stealthy so that if a top saw me, he would know I'm available. I'm not meaning in ABS, or other hook up sites, I'm talking more along the lines of Walmart or other public place.

 

I'm happily married, have no intent on leaving that, but I do enjoy being a bttm. I know some may give me grief and say I need to choose sides, but this is just the life I choose.

 

any tips on how to openly and stealthily identify as a bottom?

[bihairy]

Top here that loves to seed and breed.  Would be nice to identify. I know there have been men I've checked out in the grocery store etc that I would loved to fuck and breed. 

[Guest bbncguy]

1 hour ago, bihairy said:

Top here that loves to seed and breed.  Would be nice to identify. I know there have been men I've checked out in the grocery store etc that I would loved to fuck and breed. 

Yeah, I've walked through Lowe's, Walmart etc. and seen guys that I would love to have breed me. If there was a way to be ID'd it would be so hot to have someone come up and say, you should try this on, I'll be in to check it out....and then wait in the dressing room for them to fuck me and breed me. The control would need to be amazing because I would need to be quite. But the idea of a total anon stranger fucking me, breeding me and then leaving me is hot! 

 

I do do that now when I can meet someone through Grindr, CL, Squirt but in a store....

would love to visit your area so you can breed this hole!

[tallslenderguy]

3 hours ago, bbncguy said:

So, as a married man, and a wife that has not put out since the flood...is there a way I could identify myself as a bottom? I wish there was something I could do to a hat, or something stealthy so that if a top saw me, he would know I'm available. I'm not meaning in ABS, or other hook up sites, I'm talking more along the lines of Walmart or other public place.

 

I'm happily married, have no intent on leaving that, but I do enjoy being a bttm. I know some may give me grief and say I need to choose sides, but this is just the life I choose.

 

any tips on how to openly and stealthily identify as a bottom?

I've written this elsewhere, but it fits here too. I was driving down a busy street in my truck one day and a guy pulled up on my left side. He looked at me and i looked at him, our eyes met and he pulled ahead and into my lane in front of me.  I followed him into a Burger King parking lot. He got out without looking back and went in, i followed. He went in to the BK restroom and I followed. When i walked into the rest room, he locked the door behind me, undid my pants and pulled them down around my knees, turned me around. He undid his pants enough to expose himself, spit on his cock (i think, can't remember how he 'lubed') and slid in and bred me. After he came, he zipped up and left without a word.  

This is not a fantasy, nor is any of it made up, it was in the late 90's. That's the most bold experience i have ever had, but cruising used to involve little more than a look, the rest was action. Usually involved some subtle signals like a guy would touch his cock, i'd often find a way to turn and touch my ass ... all in plain daylight. It never took much when both are into guy on guy sex.

There was also a time when wearing a handkerchief in your back pocket would be a signal. Different colors or back pockets delineated different stuff. I never got into that, didn't really see the need.

As to being married and fucking around: it is apparently on your mind, otherwise you wouldn't mention it. No judgement here, but I will share some of my own experience.

 i was married and cheated with guys for 23 years. I don't think there is anything wrong with being married and having sex with guys in an open relationship, but mine was not open and i was continually lying and cheating.  I had happiness in my marriage also, but i also had continual guilt and shame over lying, deceiving and cheating on the person i loved. She eventually found out and it crushed her. I was religious and all the years we were married, and felt trapped by my beliefs.  I thought i could change from being attracted to, or having sex with men.  i couldn't and finally accepted that  and communicated that to her. She was (is) religious too and considers my attraction to guys as me being "broken." I could no longer live a life of thinking of myself as "broken" (part of the religious thing) of hiding and lying and decided I needed to accept reality and learn how to live with it. I joke now that being gay saved me from God (really, it saved me from my and other peoples ideas of "God").  She didn't want to be married to me as I am,  and I finally admitted I could not change, so we parted. I do miss her, this is a person I loved and love, but I don't miss the lies or cheating. I do not miss being in a relationship where I was essentially rejected because of who and how I am, and in a way, forced into hiding.  I was miserable lying and cheating. I didn't consider my relationship with her to be whole while I was in hiding.

That's just my story, I know, but I've met a lot of guys with similar stories. Today is my anniversary and I am sitting at home, alone, writing this on BZ. My kids (also religious) disowned me, I lost everything (materially). Life isn't neat and clean. But life or the universe (or whatever the hell "it" is) has taken care of me. I have a whole different life now.  I am truly happy and at peace living honestly and real. I have people in my life who know, accept and love me for who I am. I never feel guilt or shame about the guys I fuck with.  Life's good. 

[evilqueerpig]

There are t-shirts that say "catcher"...not sure if the meaning is known outside of the gay community.

[workmyhole]

26 minutes ago, evilqueerpig said:

There are t-shirts that say "catcher"...not sure if the meaning is known outside of the gay community.

I always like wearing mine.

[dopey]

dude have you checked out the people of Walmart site? you could probably wear a pair of leather chaps with the bum cut out and not look out of place!

[hungry_hole]

18 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i was married and cheated with guys for 23 years. I don't think there is anything wrong with being married and having sex with guys in an open relationship, but mine was not open and i was continually lying and cheating.

Sex with men is such a different experience that I have trouble calling it "cheating". For me sex with men is mainly anonymous/NSA and not much different from watching hot porno videos but with touchable actors. The main issue for me when a man who is married/attached to a woman and having sex with men are STD.

[tallslenderguy]

4 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

Sex with men is such a different experience that I have trouble calling it "cheating". For me sex with men is mainly anonymous/NSA and not much different from watching hot porno videos but with touchable actors. The main issue for me when a man who is married/attached to a woman and having sex with men are STD.

I see your point that "anonymous/NSA" sex is different from marriage. I like men though, and there is always the potential that I'd meet someone and more that sex could develop into relationship.  You're right, there is the STD thing too. I gave her STD's a couple of times. She perceived it as cheating too. Then there's all the lying to cover tracks. I'm really glad to be free of it all now. I hated always lying and hiding.

[Guest Upstateguy518]

I wish there was an easier way to identify in public as well. Just some kind of dress code or something of that nature to show that you are game.

[Guest UsernameTaken]

Back in the day, guys used to clip their keys to their belt or belt loop.  

[Guest]

I also wish there was a way to let others know that I was open to being a bottom when out shopping.  I chicken out with posting CL ads but think it would be easier if I was out looking and a guy came up to me and hit on me.  I also suck at telling if someone is or not so in the past I think guys have but not sure so haven't pursued it. 

[NLbear]

On ‎26‎-‎12‎-‎2017 at 3:58 AM, evilqueerpig said:

There are t-shirts that say "catcher"...not sure if the meaning is known outside of the gay community.

I have one of those (from ajaxx63.com) but people usually say they are surprised I like baseball......(marginal sport here)! Only once a guy told me with a knowing look in his eyes he had the "pitcher" shirt. They have other shirts and hats/caps that send out a message that is not so obvious to the straight community but are recognized by gay men.

An option is to visibly wear a "gay brand" underwear that tell those in the know you're into M2M. Like PUMP for instance. A bit like the guy below could have worn when going to the store if he was into guys.

But mainly it comes down to good old fashioned cruising I think. Rely on your gaydar and eye contact. Admit that's not easy in a hardware store or Walmart where probably the majority of guys is straight....

 

[AirmaxUK]

3 hours ago, NLbear said:

I have one of those (from ajaxx63.com) but people usually say they are surprised I like baseball......(marginal sport here)! Only once a guy told me with a knowing look in his eyes he had the "pitcher" shirt. They have other shirts and hats/caps that send out a message that is not so obvious to the straight community but are recognized by gay men

I have been tempted by G-Star Raw's t-shirts that say "RAW" in various styles on the chest. I'm going to pick one up at their shop in Ku'damm this week. 

There's a guy that runs a photography blog Fro Knows Photo - he's pretty irritating to watch - but he sells merchandise including t-shirts and hoodies that say "I always shoot RAW".   

[Guest Cumhose]

7 hours ago, NLbear said:

I have one of those (from ajaxx63.com) but people usually say they are surprised I like baseball......(marginal sport here)! Only once a guy told me with a knowing look in his eyes he had the "pitcher" shirt. They have other shirts and hats/caps that send out a message that is not so obvious to the straight community but are recognized by gay men.

An option is to visibly wear a "gay brand" underwear that tell those in the know you're into M2M. Like PUMP for instance. A bit like the guy below could have worn when going to the store if he was into guys.

But mainly it comes down to good old fashioned cruising I think. Rely on your gaydar and eye contact. Admit that's not easy in a hardware store or Walmart where probably the majority of guys is straight....

 

Mmmm very smart, I think I'm going to but some nasty pig shirts.