Ever gone full blown AIDS?

[Guest Descartes70817]

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in hospital with pcp pneumonia, which I was told was near fatal, and a CD4 cell count of 34 with a viral load of 108,000.

In the year prior to diagnosis I had a series of opportunistic infections, felt like I had no energy, constant diarrhea, and finally pneumonia. I can’t imagine anyone enjoying that.

[Pozpunk]

I had full blown Aids. I have no regrets I new that I’d be hiv positive at some point due to my lifestyle and addiction to sex with anonymous men. I’m still looking for men for regular anonymous meetings. I was on the cumdump network but started to receive harassment from haters and people against bugchasers etc. I’m very happy to meet Hiv positive men who like breeding. All welcome I’m usually available when not traveling 

[wood]

While I get that the “full blown AIDS” tag line “works” as someone in the gay health management industry it’s actually advanced HIV now and has been for decades. 
 

all I can say is that if you are at the advanced HIV stage I urge you to get treatment. 
 

death by hiv related diseases isn’t cute or fun, what is cute or fun is having more raw sex. 

[evilqueerpig]

Update, stopped meds 3 years ago, so likely back to full blown AIDS.  My attitude is, ' I have AIDS, but it doesn't have me.

[NEDenver]

No.  I’m not a nihilist.  The doctor says take meds and get blood tests, so I do.

[Guest]

On 2/28/2018 at 7:55 PM, ErosWired said:

You asked this, so I’m going to answer.

The first indication I had that I was infected with HIV was a line of six doctors standing by my hospital bed. They had just come in and woke me up where I was recovering from having nearly died from fungal meningitis and related stroke two days earlier.

”You have AIDS,” they said.

Boom. Just like that. No easing into it, no hand-holding, no sugar-coating.

”Are you telling me I have HIV?” I asked.

”No, AIDS,” one of them said. I don’t remember any of the conversation after that.

I had tested and tested - all negative. False negatives, as it turned out. What I had to learn and learn fast is that the doomsday scenario of wasting away and dying a hideous death is now something I can prevent, but it means changing the way I think and live. It means ART meds for the rest if my life (or until there’s a cure), without fail, because if I slack off, the virus will evolve so the meds will do no good.

Let’s get one thing crystal clear - the HIV virus is The Enemy. It will kill you if it can. It is constantly upping its game, its hides where we cannot find it, it turns our own defenses against us, and so far, we cannot stop it. We can only slow it down.

There are guys here - way too many guys - who have the mistaken idea that getting HIV means you can now fuck bare without worry. Wrong-o.

Getting HIV doesn’t mean you’re free - you can still get infected with a different/worse/treatment-resistant strain you didn’t have to start with and be ten times worse off. Plus, getting pozzed (let alone living with AIDS) puts you at far greater risk of getting other diseases that wouldn’t kill a neg guy, but they might kill you. And I guaran-damn-tee you that when you’re lying in a hospital bed with pneumonia or meningitis, you won’t be on the fence about whether you want to have AIDS.

I’ve made this point elsewhere in this part of the forum, but I’ll do it again here: This is the HIV Health area, not the chaser/gifter area, so this may be the only place on this entire bareback fucking site where it’s appropriate to say that romanticization or sexualization of disease is inappropriate.

Get it straight: No man who is compos mentis chooses a debilitating lifelong illness. No man with any goddamn sense looks at wasting, weakness, incontinence and death and says, “Yeah, I’m down for that!”

And no man who has ever watched a loved one, a partner, or a brother-in-spirit decay and die before his helpless eyes as the Enemy Virus did its work would ever suggest that it was sexy.

I don’t judge men for having chaser or gifter fantasies, because I frankly don’t get where they’re coming from. I’m living their fucking fantasy, and it sucks ass in the worst possible way. Whatever. But anyone who actually intentionally infects another person? Anyone who chooses not to accept treatment but instead allows The Enemy to use his body as an incubator and then goes out a-fucking bare? Those men are making conscious choices to give aid and comfort to the enemy, and they are wrong.

I have AIDS. I publicly announce my status before I put my ass in service, every time. I don’t play unless undetectable (yes, last check yesterday in fact) and I do not miss my meds. I am grateful to every single Top who does me the honor of breeding me, and it is my duty to ensure that I never put any of them at risk.

Remember that there was once a time when there was no such thing as HIV, or AIDS, when bareback sex wasn’t potentially deadly, when men took for granted what we now debate and fantasize about. The fact that we can do it at all now is only because science has given us a measure of control over the Enemy. Our ability to continue fucking in the way that we choose in the future means we can’t begin to glorify the disease to the point that we give it a stronger foothold - or any more of our lives. It’s had enough already.

Well said.  Almost every single poz guy I have known has told me how HIV/AIDS is not anything that anyone wants or should strive to get infected with and to use condoms, have safe sex, and if you are not good at consistently always using condoms when you fuck/get fucked get on prep. They also have told me how if they could change anything about themselves it would be to go back to being HIV NEG, but since that is not possible they focus on HIV treatment, staying on meds, having safe sex with other poz guys to avoid other HIV strains or bacterial/viral infections, and staying healthy.

[ellentonboy]

I had Kaposi's Sarcoma in 2001, and my doctor told me that he believed it had been eradicated in the US.  They sent my specimen back to the lab three times just to get a confirmation.  I had 52 T cells at the time and my doctor has since told me I have had the highest viral load of any living patient he has had in his career.  I am still kicking today.  For the record, I applied for SSD the end of May, 2001 and I had my first check on August 3, 2001. I also get a second check from the Civil Service Retirement Disability Program which I am extremely grateful for.   From what I understand, my disability was approved in  record time and most guys today have to wait 18 to 24 months to get a response on their case.   Thankfully that was not my situation.  I also had to give information to two reps from the CDC as to where I could have contracted the strain of virus I had.  It had not been seen in the US at that time.  In 2001 I didn't have a cell phone,  or email, so I just picked up the house phone and called my fuck buddy who was a flight attendant from Brazil.  He and I would play twice a month as our paths crossed for business in Fort Lauderdale.  Though the reps from the CDC said he would not face any retaliation, they in fact stamped his passport so he could no longer travel into the US, and his employer had to reroute him to countries in Europe.  So I was lied to, and as a government employee you can imagine how betrayed I felt.  Fortunately my friend was able to continue with his career, flying only into Europe, but I never got to see him again.

Oh, and if you want to have an entire party go quiet, just tell them at the age of 30 that you are on disability and no longer have your lofty government job.  Talk about a way to kill a buzz, but I managed to get everyone to stop talking.  That's my story.  If you get a call from your infectious disease specialist and you suspect you have AIDS, and he  tells you to come in on Friday afternoon at 4:30 pm, you know you have it.  My doctor hates giving people bad news as he prefers to run out the door after giving them the diagnosis.  Having HIV is one thing, having your world turned upside down by an AIDS diagnosis is another.

[Hairypiglet]

I literally can't decide what to do now. I've been poz since 2006. Meditated most of the time. Went full blown from 2019-21. Now I'm borderline on meds, but every medication they give me causes insane side effects from immense weight gain to lactic acidosis, hepatic inflammation, and diabetes.

 

So basically I am dying at the age of 37 and I get to choose what from?

 

I will choose to go balls to the fucking wall burn up faster than the Challenger.

[Guest]

16 hours ago, Hairypiglet said:

I literally can't decide what to do now. I've been poz since 2006. Meditated most of the time. Went full blown from 2019-21. Now I'm borderline on meds, but every medication they give me causes insane side effects from immense weight gain to lactic acidosis, hepatic inflammation, and diabetes.

 

So basically I am dying at the age of 37 and I get to choose what from?

 

I will choose to go balls to the fucking wall burn up faster than the Challenger.

Talk to your doctor.

[Guest]

thanks to all who give their full knowledgeable views on the subject and share your experiences. no matter what path a person chooses you all help a guy think about and understand the consequences of choice. my hat tips in salute.

[evilalex]

On 5/26/2022 at 5:24 PM, ellentonboy said:

I had Kaposi's Sarcoma in 2001, and my doctor told me that he believed it had been eradicated in the US.  They sent my specimen back to the lab three times just to get a confirmation.  I had 52 T cells at the time and my doctor has since told me I have had the highest viral load of any living patient he has had in his career.  I am still kicking today.  For the record, I applied for SSD the end of May, 2001 and I had my first check on August 3, 2001. I also get a second check from the Civil Service Retirement Disability Program which I am extremely grateful for.   From what I understand, my disability was approved in  record time and most guys today have to wait 18 to 24 months to get a response on their case.   Thankfully that was not my situation.  I also had to give information to two reps from the CDC as to where I could have contracted the strain of virus I had.  It had not been seen in the US at that time.  In 2001 I didn't have a cell phone,  or email, so I just picked up the house phone and called my fuck buddy who was a flight attendant from Brazil.  He and I would play twice a month as our paths crossed for business in Fort Lauderdale.  Though the reps from the CDC said he would not face any retaliation, they in fact stamped his passport so he could no longer travel into the US, and his employer had to reroute him to countries in Europe.  So I was lied to, and as a government employee you can imagine how betrayed I felt.  Fortunately my friend was able to continue with his career, flying only into Europe, but I never got to see him again.

Oh, and if you want to have an entire party go quiet, just tell them at the age of 30 that you are on disability and no longer have your lofty government job.  Talk about a way to kill a buzz, but I managed to get everyone to stop talking.  That's my story.  If you get a call from your infectious disease specialist and you suspect you have AIDS, and he  tells you to come in on Friday afternoon at 4:30 pm, you know you have it.  My doctor hates giving people bad news as he prefers to run out the door after giving them the diagnosis.  Having HIV is one thing, having your world turned upside down by an AIDS diagnosis is another.

Did you feel pretty sick at that (Kaposi's Sarcoma) time?

[Hairypiglet]

11 hours ago, TotalTop said:

Talk to your doctor.

Who do you think is giving me these meds?

I talk to the doc about everything all the time.

There isn't anything to be done really.

Meds barely work on me and when they do the side effects are so great it's hardly worth the nominal boost to my life expectancy. 

[Hairypiglet]

Can I just say that I am absolutely fucking fed up with assholes who still think they know what and how HIV is and affects people and thinks that shit is simple.

3 people fucked by the same HVL person:

1 is unaffected (we have a vague idea of a genetic reason why a select few are immune)

The other two are infected. However, one is dead in 5yrs and one lives for 10.

We still don't understand exactly why/how the virus has such vastly differing affects other than its ability to mutate quickly and adapt to its new host.

By the fucking way, this is also why we don't understand how to cure/eradicate it.

"Talk to your [fucking] doctor"... I see him more than most of my own damn family. I'm at a point where the decision is literally a coinflip between having a cd4 count of 50 or just letting nature take its course.

Go fuck yourself with a chainsaw.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Hairypiglet said:

Can I just say that I am absolutely fucking fed up with assholes who still think they know what and how HIV is and affects people and thinks that shit is simple.

3 people fucked by the same HVL person:

1 is unaffected (we have a vague idea of a genetic reason why a select few are immune)

The other two are infected. However, one is dead in 5yrs and one lives for 10.

We still don't understand exactly why/how the virus has such vastly differing affects other than its ability to mutate quickly and adapt to its new host.

By the fucking way, this is also why we don't understand how to cure/eradicate it.

"Talk to your [fucking] doctor"... I see him more than most of my own damn family. I'm at a point where the decision is literally a coinflip between having a cd4 count of 50 or just letting nature take its course.

Go fuck yourself with a chainsaw.

Why not live in comfort, and let nature take its course? Maybe see a different doctor?

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Hairypiglet said:

Who do you think is giving me these meds?

I talk to the doc about everything all the time.

There isn't anything to be done really.

Meds barely work on me and when they do the side effects are so great it's hardly worth the nominal boost to my life expectancy. 

Is there really nothing that can be done?