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If it was up to you to set a new age of consent, what would the age be and why?


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What age of consent would you choose?  

1,753 members have voted

  1. 1. What age of consent would you choose?

    • No age of consent - just stiffen penalties for rape if victim is under 18
      63
    • 12
      337
    • 13
      154
    • 14
      181
    • 15
      154
    • 16
      382
    • 17
      20
    • Keep it at 18
      228


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It's such a hard question, because as we all have realized, everyone is different. I was a very naive kid and late to develop. A man in a position of power at our church "took me under his wing" when I was 15. I knew some of my friends were talking about sex, but I hadn't had any. While he as loving and nurturing, he was also very persuasive. So while in time I enjoyed it, he also said to "never tell anyone" which added a level of shame to the situation. I think that some are ready at 15, some not so much.

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I believe these very low consent ages were set as a way of facilitating marrying odd girls at a young age. I suspect that Delaware's age was set so low as to allow for children to be betrothed, if not married, at this age.

I think even now marriage is an exception to the age of consent laws. I doubt that was the only (or even primary) reason why they were so low 135 years ago.

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  • 1 month later...

hadn't really thought about this but recently found out my partner had fucked and bred a 13y old last year. I wasn't too happy about that, but when he showed me the texts and pics it was very clear that this kid was very sexually aggressive towards him. Made me think. I think 15 is a good 'legal' limit, but every case should be seen separately.

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  • 5 months later...

I would say 15 by that age most boys are mature & already playing whatever society tries to pretend is not the case, I know when i was 15 i was getting fucked weekly sometimes 10-15 times a week & knew perfectly well what i was doing. Also i was living in london but even to this day when the age of consent is concerned they prefer sweeping it under the carpet then actually open there eyes to the reality. I doubt it will ever change lower then 16, Makes you wonder if no one is having sex under 18 or even 16 then i wonder how come or where all those teenage pregnancies come from or maybe they're afraid that all the straight boys will turn to fucking a nice tight ass instead of a sloppy pussy.

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Maybe it is just the framing of the question, or how I was brought up in general, but I voted None. Not because I necessarily believe that any child should be having sex at any age with an exploitive adult, and certainly don't want kids being hurt or traumatized, but consent is kind of the key issue. It's not about maturity, or responsibility, or ability to "think of the consequences," as much as it is the ability to choose to have or not have sex. To not be forced beyond one's comfort zone. And that is probably one of the most important things that happens to kids that bothers me, especially in their teenage years. That not only is sex not a choice, but their ability to choose is non-existent, and much of it is because they don't know what sex is to start with.

Yet, when an 11-17 year old commits murder, everyone is rushing to get him tried as an adult. We seem to have this cognitive dissonance between angelic innocence rape until 18 for sex, and demonic adult guilt for muder. In essence, on one side we refuse to see children as capable and responsible on one hand, and as fully capable and responsible on the other.

While most of the years between birth and 18 are spent learning what responsibility is, and what they are capable of, we tend to underestimate people under 18, and call it abuse or a bad childhood, when they don't grow up in an innocent bubble of naivety to age 18.

And it is not just sex and murder that people shelter children about, it is litterally everything in many cases.

People are horrified, for instance, to learn that my mother once looked at me and said, "yes, we can buy you that toy, would you prefer for us to not have food or electricity?" I was about 6. It wasn't a horror experience, I was not destroyed by it, I learned the connection between money, stuff, and that there was more to buying stuff than just handing over money, you had to have more money than "other stuff" (like the bills), paying for things you need, in order to buy stuff you wanted. And that those decisions can affect others, I wouldnt just have to stumble in the dark or go without food, WE would have to. Yet, how many adults buy stuff they want without even considering how to pay for their needs?

You want horrified, that was at 12 when I learned my father was one of those adults.

We shelter kids, keep them from understanding the world, baby speak fairytale answers, and flat out lie to them, call it innocence, and wonder why so many 18 year olds (and older) act so stupid and immature. It's not stupidity or immaturity, they have been sheltered ever since they asked "where babies come from" and completely ignorant of much of the world around them.

My mom went the route of, if you are old enough to ask, then you deserve an honest answer. Consequently, I knew very much what sex, rape, and abuse were by age 9, and a hell of a lot more about it than we were taught in school. In school, a few years later, I learned all the body parts and a bit more about STDs, the clinical info, but at home I already had a basic understanding of the mechanics. In no way was i shocked to learn that the parts you pee out of make babies.

As far as consent, I didn't think I was "ready", but did enjoy experimenting with people my own age befor I was 9, and after age 9. An adult had no interest to me. But I wouldn't have been "traumatized" by sex with one, so much as I wouldn't have consented, and therefore fought like hell to get away from being raped. Having sex wouldn't have been a problem in my mind, if it were my choice, and if it respected my limits. And I would have been damn angry to be treated as if I were unable to consent, just because of age.

So, from my perspective, it seems like age of consent laws are tied more to when people hope that the ignorance bubble bursts, or when they can stomach the bubble bursting. The real trauma of underage sex is that so many people not only remain ignorant to the consent point, or that as a society we thing that people should be ignorant for so long, but that we leave them vulnerable for so long that keeping them away from people is their only protection, and then that person is put in a situation they know nothing about.

To begin to understand the intentions of an adult, or that rape isn't your fault, you have to have a basic understanding of what sex actually is, and that some adult would gladly exploit ignorance to have it. Remove ignorance and allow for consent, and you have a much better prepared person for both the pleasure and pain of the world around them. Leave a person sheltered and vulnerable, and you set them up for rape and trauma from being raped. Not to mention feeling that they did something wrong for that to have happened.

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This is a tricky issue. I hit puberty at 11. I was already interested in sex before. I chalk part of that up to being molested very young. But the other was just my natural curiosity. When I reached puberty, I constantly fantasized about sex. I knew the boys and girls I wanted to try stuff with, I also fantasized about men I wanted to fuck me. And I knew my age would be a problem for them.

 

So I can see lowering the age because some kids are probably like I was. But I know a lot of young kids, and as mature as they are mentally and physically, they just aren't ready for something like an adult relationship. I mean, these are the same people who stop talking to their friends over text messages. They couldn't handle an actual relationship. It'd be too easy for someone to take advantage of them. Hell, even if the person wasn't trying to do that, it'd be too easy for the kid to get confused or caught up in something.

 

I wanted sex at 11 with grown men, but I doubt I'd have been able to really deal with it, and I was pretty mature for my age. So I think the age of consent should stay high, around 14 or 16. At least at that age the kids can sort of understand what they're getting into.

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  • 2 weeks later...

In Norway it's 16, and I think it should be that way. However, I have my doubts when I hear about older guys, like me, almost only go for young guys. Makes me wonder if they would go for even younger if it was legal. I actually think the legal age of 16 should be for people under 20. For people over 20 the legal age should be 18. A 16-year-old is still a child, damn it.

 

I had sex when I was 13, but it was with other boys around my own age. There is no problem in Norway with 13-year-olds having a little fun with each other, as long as we're not talking rape.

 

I normally prefer guys younger than me, but still normally 25+. Had sex with a 20-year-old who fucked me a couple of months ago, but then it was him coming on to me, and not the other way around. I don't go hunting for the pure young ones, they have to call me. I respect that most young guys don't want older guys.

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I was started young, too young in hindsight.  I think I was mentally ready by the time I hit puberty, but I had a lot of mileage prior to that time.  As many others have said, if it's kids playing together, I don't see an issue, but when anything is coerced, there's a problem.  Every kid matures differently, so that needs to be taken in to account.  Having said that, we can't have laws on the books that are that variable.  I'd say 15-16.

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