is chasing and pozzing a form of hate?

[tallslenderguy]

i don't think chasing or the desire to be poz is a kink, i think it is self hate.

Attitudes towards gays have changed a lot in my life time, but there is still half the culture in this country who voted for a guy who's running mate is openly anti gay. If he had the choice, make no mistake, he'd legislate against us.

As recent as 1998, i was arrested for asking an undercover "Vice" cop if he wanted to fuck me. i was living in VA and they still had cops who would frequent cruising areas, pretend to be gay and try and entrap gays. i was charged with a felony under a 100 year old "sodomy" law that made the expression of my sexuality illegal. The judge threw it out, the prosecuting attorney was livid. He worked for then attorney general Bob McDonell who was virulently anti gay and later became governor of Virginia. Imagine being gay and growing up as Bob McDonell's kid? That's the way it is for many gay guys, even in 2019.  i grew up in a religious culture and literally hated my gay self, trying everything i could to kill that part of me, for 40 years. 

Wanting a deadly disease is self destructive and ultimately can be a form of suicide.  i think the desire to be poz, chasing, and the desire to infect others is internalized hate of gays and being gay.

[Qban]

My gay shrink told me long-term chasing and heavy/hard drug use both have their roots in many of the deep-rooted self-hatred/self-esteem issues that are unusually prevalent among gay men over 30.  I’m in my 40’s, poz and partied for 20+ years before stopping.  I never thought much about it until I started therapy and I’m not sure if other long-term poz partiers my age would agree but in my own case I think he’s right.

Edited March 7, 2019 by Qban

[Pozlover1]

Sex and death are very related. The human mind can turn fear into excitement, something that military leaders are all too aware of. 

Prioritizing sex over some boring ass job is rational af if you are not stupid. 

[tallslenderguy]

9 minutes ago, Qban said:

My gay shrink told me long-term chasing and heavy/hard drug use both have their roots in many of the deep-rooted self-hatred/self-esteem issues that are unusually prevalent among gay men over 30.  I’m in my 40’s, poz and partied for 20+ years before stopping.  I never thought much about it until I started therapy and I’m not sure if other long-term poz partiers my age would agree but in my own case I think he’s right.

Thank you for weighing in.

i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, i don't think the 'hatred' is conscious, that its strength and passion depends on its being buried deep as a motivator.  

i spent years going through so called "reparative therapy" which is supposed to de-gay a person.  The religious culture i was a part of called it "love."  There was even a de-gaying organization called "Love in Action."  This is a very prevalent attitude in some religious circles, they term it: "love the sin, hate the sinner."  It sets up cognitive dissonance in the gay person because, on the one hand, they have the reality of being attracted to the same sex and on the other hand are being told that is "sick" and "sinful."   It took me a long time to process through that notion.  

i see the desire to catch or give a disease as similar, that those who feel that way have internalized the message that their desire to be with another man is bad and must be destroyed. 

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

I think there's definitely a connect and from therapy and group sessions I've pretty much come to that conclusion. It's internalized homophobia that does it. It's something I'm still working through to be honest, with issues of intimacy, why I don't want to be in a relationship, whether I'm gay, bi, or str8, and so many other things. I know I'm fucked up and a work in progress, and I hope that at some point I can be in a better place and I don't say that for pity or sympathy. But chasing and desiring to be poz, or just not giving a shit is very self-destructive and a form of internalized homophobia...for sure.

[Pozlover1]

Not needing a partner to “be complete” is healthy.

Not caring what diseases an interesting person has is healthy, although working  around that disease is OK too.

I still say at least part of the Chasing phenom is that gut feeling that society is crumbling around our head. You might think it would be healthier to buy “beans and bullets” but facing a SHTF scenario alone is an unrealistic fantasy. Being part of a group of high integrity is your only hope of surviving, and taking care of your health so you can support that group is probably the healthiest mindset there is. 

[Ranger Rick]

Discussion I had: Is chasing a form of self-harm? 

[Guest GoneFishing]

We’ve all had a death wish in our lives in some way.  Live and be free.  

[ericjohn_70]

1 hour ago, Chargedup said:

We’ve all had a death wish in our lives in some way.  Live and be free.  

Well put, as always.

[TattPig]

Oh, come on; it's 2019! HIV is not a death sentence, nor is playing with it a 'form of suicide' nor 'internalized homophobia'. That's just armchair analyzing from the outside looking in (possibly with a measure of jealousy and sour grapes thrown in). 

People make similar judgmental comments about anything that they are unfamiliar with--S&M, skydiving, mountain climbing, alcohol, etc. And they are just as uninformed. 

[tallslenderguy]

9 hours ago, TattPig said:

Oh, come on; it's 2019! HIV is not a death sentence, nor is playing with it a 'form of suicide' nor 'internalized homophobia'. That's just armchair analyzing from the outside looking in (possibly with a measure of jealousy and sour grapes thrown in). 

People make similar judgmental comments about anything that they are unfamiliar with--S&M, skydiving, mountain climbing, alcohol, etc. And they are just as uninformed. 

 

Even in 2019, HIV can be a death sentence if you are chasing.  For many, if not most, chasing means not taking the meds that can prevent one from getting the disease, or prevent one (if one is a "gifter") from infecting another.  The point of chasing, for many, is to eschew the 2019 meds that keep HIV infected people alive/healthy or from infecting others. 

 

[tallslenderguy]

11 hours ago, Chargedup said:

We’ve all had a death wish in our lives in some way.  Live and be free.  

Do you have evidence to support this claim?

[Loveitraw]

I’m sure there is credence to what you say, however I would suggest that it is not a “cut and dried” answer.

 For some it is possible especially those who are not “out” or come from a repressive background.  If you have been raised with even a smattering of belief that it is wrong then that could sway your behaviors certainly.

I didn’t actively chase, but I was ambivalent about it.  I prefer barebacking. It feels better and I never asked status from a top. Not because I hate myself but because I love raw sex. 

Others genuinely see pozzing and being pozzed as belonging to a community. Its not self-loathing as much as it is about acceptance.

An interesting topic to discuss for sure. I look forward to seeing other takes on this.

[TattPig]

13 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Even in 2019, HIV can be a death sentence if you are chasing.  For many, if not most, chasing means not taking the meds that can prevent one from getting the disease, or prevent one (if one is a "gifter") from infecting another.  

WHAT?!?!!! That is completely loony. HIV is HIV, whether you get it by chasing or by accident. Do you seriously not understand this?? Contracting HIV is NOT a death sentence, no matter how you get it. Chasing does not magically make HIV more potent or dangerous.

I have a feeling that you're just trolling. Nobody can be this clueless in 2019 about HIV. And you really need to look up the definition of 'death sentence'.

[tallslenderguy]

27 minutes ago, TattPig said:

WHAT?!?!!! That is completely loony. HIV is HIV, whether you get it by chasing or by accident. Do you seriously not understand this?? Contracting HIV is NOT a death sentence, no matter how you get it. Chasing does not magically make HIV more potent or dangerous.

I have a feeling that you're just trolling. Nobody can be this clueless in 2019 about HIV. And you really need to look up the definition of 'death sentence'.

Apparently someone can be this clueless.  

i've taken care of people dying because of HIV. Obviously it is because, without taking meds, HIV leads to AID's .  

Here's some stats about HIV and AIDS. supporting what i am asserting about how damaging and destructive HIV is.  Calling this "completely loony"  strikes me as "armchair analyzing."