Advice

[Philmeup]

Meeting this hot guy who a bit of a dirty perv 

said hes comming over tomorrow morning and i will certainly know when hes been as he said he will leave me a quivering wreck and his bites all over my body so everyone will know im a slut

is this normal ?

ive said only below the neckline  and he said i have no say in it 

not sure what to do  

What wud you guys do 

or do you do the same 

 

 

 

 

[LetsPOZBreed]

This is certainly not normal by any stretch of the imagination.  You're free to have a fetish about being bitten, but you wouldn't expect every sexual experience to include it.

If you've clearly defined your limits (only below the neckline) and you get the response back about having no control, that's crossing a line.  I'd call it off right then and there.  I'm all for pushing boundaries, but no means no.

[Philmeup]

Thanks for your feedback i really appreciate it 

[Spunkinmyarse]

For what it’s worth, I entirely agree with LetsPOZBreed.  I’ve never come across biting before, and although I’m open to indulging new fetishes, I would want to exercise some control over this one.

 

[Samanthads]

15 hours ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

If you've clearly defined your limits (only below the neckline) and you get the response back about having no control, that's crossing a line.  I'd call it off right then and there.  I'm all for pushing boundaries, but no means no.

id agree dont meet him as if hes not willing to accept limits for where he bites him what else will he do 

[LetsPOZBreed]

I guess in this specific scenario, I'd be a bit skittish over having the no control part.  To be fair, you were (and presumably are) not opposed to biting per se, just not in certain places.  

The key for me in doing any fetish play is that I generally don't mind pushing my limits...but that's always taken place after some discussion as well.  For first time fucks with a guy, I stick to the plain vanilla stuff and don't go further than maybe spanking and dirty talk.  Based on that experience, I can get a good gauge of where we can draw the lines with each other.  There's a bright red line between role playing and flat out rape; as someone who's unfortunately experienced the latter, I can personally vouch for how unsettling that is for long after the guy has left your place.  There's no guarantee that a guy you've never played with before will respect your limits, and biting can be a bit dangerous if done too hard (I've tried it on the receiving end - not a fan at all).  

Didn't really mean to take the tone of the convo down with that comment; really just want to give the advice to be mindful and not voluntarily put yourself into a scary situation.

[gwmxyz]

There was this Japanese guy I met a while back who was really into biting. He spoke almost no English but the one word he definitely knew was "pain".  His eyes lit up as he said it. My nipples were his fave.  Normally, I think I'm into whatever the other guy wants.  A sort of demented competitiveness takes over and make me think that if others can do it, I can too.

Trouble was, that pain really doesn't do it for me - and it was clear nothing less than the real thing was going to do it for him.  It ended up a rather unsatisfactory sort of bargaining process - "ok, two more bites then I get to suck you, right?"

That I then agreed to meet him twice shows only how stupid I can be.  He still looked hot, but it still wasn't any better - it was the same or worse.  I couldn't stop myself from being turned off by the only thing which turned him on. I even felt sorry for him because his interests obviously meant he was going to struggle and as I might have mentioned, he was good looking.  All I can say from that is that if lust doesn't get you there, pity certainly won't either.

[Guest CuriousDallas]

You have every right to set limits and he should respect them, but let’s be honest, some guys will go ahead and violate them. I’ve set limits and had guys break them and I’ve had guys set them and I’ve violated them as well. If it’s an anon hookup and a one time thing there’s always the potential for violation and it’s almost to be expected (I’m not saying that makes it OK, that’s just reality). Why? Because you’re never going to hookup again unless you’ve explicitly left that door open. So if he violates what you agreed to you don’t have any leverage to control future behavior like threatening to withhold sex. That’s he’s already saying you have no say is a red flag and should be the end of the conversation. He wants you to be a no limits sub pig and it’s clear you’re not. I’m the same way. I don’t agree to no limits things. I realize that means some guys won’t have any interest and that limits my chances to play. Oh well...there’s other fish in the sea.

[Guest POZitiveBoyZ]

25 minutes ago, CuriousDallas said:

You have every right to set limits and he should respect them, but let’s be honest, some guys will go ahead and violate them. I’ve set limits and had guys break them and I’ve had guys set them and I’ve violated them as well. If it’s an anon hookup and a one time thing there’s always the potential for violation and it’s almost to be expected (I’m not saying that makes it OK, that’s just reality). Why? Because you’re never going to hookup again unless you’ve explicitly left that door open. So if he violates what you agreed to you don’t have any leverage to control future behavior like threatening to withhold sex. That’s he’s already saying you have no say is a red flag and should be the end of the conversation. He wants you to be a no limits sub pig and it’s clear you’re not. I’m the same way. I don’t agree to no limits things. I realize that means some guys won’t have any interest and that limits my chances to play. Oh well...there’s other fish in the sea.

Hi. And let’s your weekend will be the best version of you’ve got. You wrote a very good words on this topic and I’m agree with you. But! Could you explain me something what I can’t get and imagine? A 50 years ago American LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 community made a fucking huge REVOLUTION. And now we got too many rights and too many power but can’t being united anymore and can’t stand against of these assholes with their freaking wrong “game rules” to say them a Very Loud “Enough”? Are you serious? 😏 Or the only issue we has in the moment? It is nobody wants to take their own ass to leave bathhouses with CUM in their mouth 👄 and butt holes to fix these issues and make our life a much better than now. I guess, everyone MUST THINK ABOUT THAT. And think a few times. Again and Again. Cuz if everyone just prefer to “talk to talk” to make some information vacuum in the Media then I have a really bad news. We’re Not a Community anymore. Let’s still continuously sounding too yelled and annoying

[ErosWired]

I realize this topic covers an encounter that took place over four months ago, but I would just like to remark on the way that fetish play in this community seems to parallel the same kind of play in the gay BDSM community, but doesn’t seem to merge with it any way. It’s odd.

 I come from a diverse BDSM background, in which there is protocol for dealing with a guy like Mr. Bitey here. People in the lifestyle are taught risk reduction and harm reduction, and the common understanding is that play is to be safe, sane and consensual. Systems of limits and safe words are established and adhered to, and if there’s a bad actor who doesn’t follow the code, word spreads very quickly so he can be avoided (or arrested, if he’s a bad mamma-jamma).

 When delving into kink play, it might be a good idea to go to FetLife and run uncertainties by the folks there as well. They’ve pretty much seen (and done) it all.

[Guest POZitiveBoyZ]

29 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I realize this topic covers an encounter that took place over four months ago, but I would just like to remark on the way that fetish play in this community seems to parallel the same kind of play in the gay BDSM community, but doesn’t seem to merge with it any way. It’s odd.

 I come from a diverse BDSM background, in which there is protocol for dealing with a guy like Mr. Bitey here. People in the lifestyle are taught risk reduction and harm reduction, and the common understanding is that play is to be safe, sane and consensual. Systems of limits and safe words are established and adhered to, and if there’s a bad actor who doesn’t follow the code, word spreads very quickly so he can be avoided (or arrested, if he’s a bad mamma-jamma).

 When delving into kink play, it might be a good idea to go to FetLife and run uncertainties by the folks there as well. They’ve pretty much seen (and done) it all.

The problem is you may be a little bit wrong or in on the wrong way. Cuz before someone wants to do something he/she MUST get a permission of one another! In any case, THIS IS A SEXUAL AND MENTAL ABUSE! And this is ILLEGAL! Stop pretending to be a “god”! Cuz PORN IS NOT A REALITY! Isn’t? I guess this thing is TOO AMERICAN, right? The problem is everyone pretends to cut desires and opinions of someone else. Did you think this is a right direction? The problem is NOBODY HAS ANY FUCKING RIGHTS to make some online broadcast (Cam4/Zoom/Ring Central etc.) without a consequence of one another! This is AWFUL and prohibited 🚫 by LAW! Finally, we had a great LAW STATEMENT in NY which called a “Porn Revenge”. So, I have to give a one really simple and important advice. To not looking like a really freaking silly awkward person you have to know about one another a much more and more better BEFORE you will do something. Cuz to me this fucking “game” seems like a MENTAL AND SEXUAL ABUSE! And this should be a much better if those who started this fucking shit will take his “manhood and power” and make apology to me before I will be informed about him! Cuz sooner or later I will find this information. But in this case, I can guarantee that he/them will be spreading to the JAIL. Think before acting! All of you just can’t imagine what kind of a BITCH you got. Now y’all are perfectly informed about that  

[gwmxyz]

On 9/21/2019 at 1:08 AM, Guest POZitiveBoyZ said:

This is AWFUL and prohibited 🚫 by LAW!

At least to me, "AWFUL" seems the better argument.  The law's interaction with human desire is never entirely satisfactory.  Don't get me wrong - I don't disagree with most of what you say - I'd just put it in consent and trust terms. I wouldn't do something the other guy hadn't agreed to, because, apart from anything else, it wouldn't turn me on.  I wouldn't be giving him something he wanted but taking something he probably didn't.
Problem is that when it's the other way around - it's my consent that is the issue and some selfish top ignores my wishes or goes ahead not caring, I would be lying if I said it didn't turn me on.   Some of the hottest encounters I've had may be illegal - I'd have consented if they'd asked.  But I'm still more turned because they didn't. Telling me it's illegal doesn't really help.

It was illegal to be gay once, written consent forms might help from a legal perspective yet only a very few could be turned on by the idea....the whole apparatus of law is a bit of an intruder when it comes to sexual desire.  A necessary intruder, sure but I'd still keep it to a minimum.

[DarkroomTaker]

I would most certainly give him a miss.

You have choices and you have rights, most of all, its your body.

Years ago, i had a Smacker, he was a horny sexy man, but he used to smack me whilst fucking my arse, I objected, he stopped, but next time, he smacked my arse and back that much harder as punishment for the last time he told me, he cut me with the smacks with his nails which bled and was so painful for weeks, but also bruised my spine for months. I ditched him, he was crazey.

Please stay away, it isnt worth it, you are better than that.

[phukhole]

Hard pass.  I'm all for expanding one's limits, but A. you haven't played before, so you have no shared history or connection B. you've told him your limits and he's disregarded them and C. You have some trepidation about it.  ALWAYS trust your gut.