Have You Been Raped as a Child and Became Attracted to Men like your Rapist?

[DLMarried]

35 minutes ago, BareLover666 said:

Now that is handy for both themselves and yourself as otherwise they would have incriminated themselves and yourself for not reporting them. (s)

 

Have you talked with guys who weren't into young boys as well, but who did have similar experiences?

Anecdotes about a couple of guys, like your are offering now, are hard / impossible to verify; 
They keep a myth alive that has hold me back from coming out about my personal experience for years.

I'd like to know what you want to say as to your conclusions or thoughts by repeating the stories you've been told.
Gossip is never helpful. 

Forgive me for bringing it up. It is hearsay but it is also true. I’m not saying that there is a connection, I’m saying that I have chatted about this subject with a handful of guys on another chat site. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, DLMarried said:

Forgive me for bringing it up. It is hearsay but it is also true. I’m not saying that there is a connection, I’m saying that I have chatted about this subject with a handful of guys on another chat site. 

And your point is..?

[DLMarried]

49 minutes ago, BareLover666 said:

And your point is..?

No point. Don’t need one. 

[Kayne]

So I had a well written long answer to this question. then… technology. Still approach this in a different way.

 

To answer the questions Yes I was Raped as a child Especially if one wants to define rape as any Sexual activity with an "adult" before I was 18. (More accurately I can say that I sought out and initiated many of my pre legal encounters when I was a teen), As for whether I seek out men like my abusers? I can't say I truly know.  My Father was my First. He was a Decorated Vietnam Marine Vet. and the few memories I have of him were violence directed toward me born out of jealousy, hate, alcohol abuse and PTSD. I remember both "grooming" behavior and violent rape and beatings.  I remember Being passed around to his NAMBLA buddies, and other vets he served with or winos in the neighborhood. I remember that when he died,  My Godparents took over where left off.  I remember the special school my mom sent me to after my total mental breakdown. I remember the priests, counselors, teachers and dorm staff that could smell it on me even though I never told anyone until I was in my teens. 

 

I know most people will say that anything before I was 18 wasn't my fault or decision because the law says I couldn't make a decision, but I call bullshit. Turning a magic number doesn't make one mature its just a false sense of it. and by the time I was in double digits I was already a predator, Seeking out Grown Men or My peers, for sex. I sold myself and hung out in places where no 14 year old should be and you can imagine what I did.

 

If the greater question is was I affected and do I retain/ reenact any of those behaviors, or was I negatively affected. I'll say Hell yeah! Was my psychosocial development royally Fucked? Sure! Who wouldn't be? I spent years being super destructive to myself. I spent years hating myself and my body. I never really got into Chems,  but I fantasized about them. I made choices that endangered my life and others, choices that would have me labeled as antisocial at best and a soulless sociopath at worst. I Gambled and Shopped my way into trouble Exobitionisim had gotten me jailed and fined. Even though I got my "gift" in a hospital cock up, I can accept now that whether It was an active chase or not, I was chasing the dragon. Part of me felt it inevitable, that I had no choice. I will never have kids because, though I want to be a dad and I want sons… I'm terrified of what I might do to them.

 

Do I get off on even the worst of it now? It sometimes shames, sickens and repulses me to say that I do. I rewrite history to give fantasy me strength, power, authority and agency I didn't have then, and that d0oes not always mean I'm the dominant actor in these recreations. Sometimes the memory of the degradation and powerlessness scratches my itch. 

 

But I can't say if that is me seeking  out familiar territory. I do know that I have things I value now, people who depend on me and that helps keep my beast on its chain. 

 

but yeah… there is an affect

[Sub-Cocksucker]

Even though looking back on it, I am glad it happened, at the time, it was rape.
I was not all that young though, 19 i think.
I was at a party in the woods, a bit drunk, I walked away from the campfire on a trail.
An older man in his 50s I would say walked up to me with his cock out.
He was 100% top dom in charge. "hey faggot I have some cock for you"
I protested and was shocked, he slapped the shit out of me and pushed me down.
Grabbed me by the hair and started rubbing his cock all over my face.
I still protested, and he slapped me several more times, I was seeing stars.
Im not sure if it was from being in shock at the situation, of my (not yet known to me) submissive nature.
But I stopped fighting him, and took his cock in my mouth.
He verbally abused me constantly, calling me a cocksucker, a faggot.
I sucked his cock some, but it was more him grabbing me by the head and fucking my mouth.
I remember crying, gagging, choking on his cock, while he slapped me, called me names.
He finally came in my mouth and some on my face, Rubbing the cum all over my face with his cock.
Then he zipped up and walked away. I was there on my knees in the dirt, face a mess, crying.
Thats when I noticed I was rock hard, which really fucked with my head and freaked me out.
I walked home eventually. And for the next few days could not stop thinking about what happened.
And I got hard instantly every time I thought about it. Which kept messing with my head bad.
I was ashamed of what I did, even more ashamed that my cock got hard from it.
I think I lasted 3, 4 weeks at the most, and I caved, and started seeking out a cock to suck again.
That man literally turned me into a cocksucker. And to this day, I am a cocksucker, totally addicted to sucking random men off.
And yes, I prefer very dom, very verbal older men.
I dont know how much of this was in me to begin with, and how much of it is what he turned me into.
But at this point, I dont care, I am a cocksucker. And honestly, if its literally due to him making me like this... the idea of that makes me hard.
 

[Guest]

I was not sexually abused, but I was emotionally abused in many ways and varying degrees of severity by dad and his family who lived a mile away. I do believe this is what caused me to seek out the affection of men.  I don’t mean to say that my experience can compare to that of those who were sexually abused.  I’m just sharing my experiences. 

Edited September 12, 2022 by Jackruby

[Kayne]

On 9/11/2022 at 10:16 PM, Jackruby said:

I was not sexually abused, but I was emotionally abused in many ways and varying degrees of severity by dad and his family who lived a mile away. I do believe this is what caused me to seek out the affection of men.  I don’t mean to say that my experience can compare to that of those who were sexually abused.  I’m just sharing my experiences. 

Dude. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't even know my Dad's Family. they utterly disowned me when I was a kid the minute my old man passed on. My Mom's family was emotionally toxic. (not my mom but much of her family) you must have felt so alone. I know I did.  so I'm sorry. 

[Guest]

I’ve wanked and cum over my r@pe for the past 27 years!!!! Hottest night ever 😈😈😈

[Willing]

On 11/1/2021 at 8:04 PM, VivienCumSlut said:

I was introduced to sex very early, I think at 6 years old, it started with a friend of the same age teaching me to suck him, I wanted to find out more, but he didn't know, so he told me who taught these things he was his uncle for him, so I asked him to take me to his uncle, he was already a mature man and he lived in the vicinity of my friend's house, so it was very easy for him to abuse it without the family noticing, there I learned to serve and be fucked, whenever i remember it i get horny. I'm sure this event made who I have become today

I had a friend that was 13, he flooded my belly and his little sisters belly several times after church on Sundays when I was 8 at the time , his sister a little younger than I was 👄

[Texasbreeder]

I was made to suck my 2 older step brothers cocks by the time I was 11 or 12. It’s hard to know if I ever didn’t enjoy it but I know by the time it was ending I would initiate and ask for their cocks. I’d say I’m definitely attracted to slightly older brother types with hung cocks. They were all friendly to me so no abuse or aggression but more fínese and talking me into being on my knees for them. 

[Moose143]

No absolutely not this action kept me away from my true self 

i want nothing like him. I slept with women even married once. I either pushed them all away or cheated because  I wasn’t happy. Problem I have now though is I don’t really trust men. The sex is great just not enough to be committed to one.

[BBArchangel]

I was raped repeatedly by my older brother when I was between the ages of 12 and 13. I did not enjoy it at all and I tried to tell my parents. They did not believe me until one day I put an arrow in my brothers throat, and they believed me then. Several court cases followed, the results being, my brother was given the choice of prison or the military. He opted for the military. He should’ve opted for prison.  It would’ve messed him up less.

Am I attracted to him? Do I want to be like him? Fuck no. The experience messed me up in a lot of ways too. It was a long time before I could come out or make any kind of relationship with a man because I equated  homosexuality with weakness, and I am not weak. In the ensuing years a lot of people asked me if I thought being raped by my brother made me gay. No, I told them, it did not make me gay. It just made it a lot harder for me to accept that I was gay.

Edited March 6, 2023 by BBArchangel

[Guest]

I was molested as a child many times, by men and other kids in school, and got raped as an (adult) on three different occasions 2 of them were related to my job as a sex worker and 1 by a man I met thru Grindr. 

[Guest]

Not raped.. but molested by my older brother...  I am mainly attracted to very dominant, older guys... I do like to be forced.

[FTLBBversbttm]

23 hours ago, Gingerandbread72 said:

Not raped.. but molested by my older brother...  I am mainly attracted to very dominant, older guys... I do like to be forced.

How is your relationship with your brother now?