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Have You Been Raped as a Child and Became Attracted to Men like your Rapist?


blktone67

Were you raped as a kid?  

902 members have voted

  1. 1. Were you raped as a kid?

    • No
      222
    • Yes, but it was only technically rape - I consented and/or instigated it
      240
    • Yes, but later I got turned on by what happened
      231
    • Yes, and it continues to be a bad memory
      39


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I was never raped, nor did I have more than a couple of sexual experiences when I was underage.  All of my fucked-up kinks developed naturally, mostly in my 20s, and either from my own warped fantasies,or from reading or watching different types of porn.  I don't blame the porn one bit, btw, since I was the one that would seek it out.  No one forced it on me.

My first times were around the age of 8 or maybe 9, with a boy just a year or two older.  He coaxed me into getting naked so that he could look at me, after which he did the same for me.  On another two or three occasions there was more touching involved, but never anything overtly sexual (mainly because I was totally clueless and he was only slightly more knowledgeable).  I know for a fact those brief events lingered in my mind for over a decade, leaving me with the desire to see more boys naked, but I strongly doubt whether it 'turned me gay', and I'm certain had nothing to do with the adult kinks I developed later in life.

So no, in my case it all came naturally (or at least without any coercion)

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In a technical sense I was the one doing the molesting when I was around 12 years old.   I started touching and exploring my father's naked body as he was drunk and past out on the couch in the den.   Over the months I got bolder when he did not wake up and started licking and sucking on his hairy sweaty arm pits, nipples, cock & cocks, and ass.  A couple times I was able to get him to cum, and a few times he was so drunk he started pissing in his sleep and I drank it.   

One night he either was not as drunk as I thought he was, or I did not wait long enough for him to pass out.   He "woke" up to find me with his cock in my mouth.  He ended up using me as his cock sucking, cum swallowing, urinal that night, and it was the start of 5 years of sexual experiences with him. 

Eventually my older brother caught us, and after I convinced him that I seduced our father and he was not doing anything to me I did not want, he started to use me as his cumdump fuck-hole as well.  I convinced my brother by demonstrating my cock and ball sucking, and rimming skills.  

Dad and my older brother would eventually be my first father and son threeway, my first spit roast, and first double penetration.  At first they used me separately, but one day neither of them wanted to wait until the other finished.

In a way they also became my pimps as they would whore me out.  Dad whored me out  to his poker buddies and bar owners he owed money to, and my brother whored me out to his high school football team and wrestling team mates, his pot dealer, and later guys in his military unit.  

As I was 14 or so when they started using my ass and whoring me out, it might be considered rape, even though I was never forced.  

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  • 5 months later...
  • 4 months later...
2 hours ago, cumdumpCNY said:

It fucks boys up for life / anyone who says they like it is lying.    Fantasies are fine but no one enjoys rape - by the very definition, you can not enjoy.   Anyone boy undef 13 does not have the testosterone to enjoy sex either  

While not defending child molesting in the slightest - to be absolutely clear - it's not quite true to say that "by the very definition" you cannot enjoy rape.

Rape is about consent, not about whether you enjoy or don't enjoy the sensation that goes with the action.

If I am force-fed an entire pecan pie, I will probably very much enjoy the taste. That doesn't change the fact that it was forcibly fed to me against my will.

It's quite possible to find physical pleasure in the act of being raped. For instance, a bottom could be bound to a bed, face down, and gently fucked and masturbated until he orgasms from the combined sensations. But if he didn't consent to having that done, it's absolutely still rape.

This is exactly a huge part of the problem with many men's perspective on rape: "It couldn't be rape, she had an orgasm when I did it." "It wasn't rape, she didn't fight me very hard and she was moaning by the time I finished." "I didn't rape her because she never told me no." All of those are bullshit - Rape is sex without consent, either because you chose not to give consent, or because you were incapable of consenting (not old enough, too impaired, etc.). Enjoyment or non-enjoyment is irrelevant.

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6 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

This is exactly a huge part of the problem with many men's perspective on rape: "It couldn't be rape, she had an orgasm when I did it." "It wasn't rape, she didn't fight me very hard and she was moaning by the time I finished." "I didn't rape her because she never told me no." All of those are bullshit - Rape is sex without consent, either because you chose not to give consent, or because you were incapable of consenting (not old enough, too impaired, etc.). Enjoyment or non-enjoyment is irrelevant.

The same goes for most boys or men who where raped or molested:
"I got an erection and shot my load, so I must have liked it". Because our body reacts independently to stimuli it's confusing as hell.

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I had a child for my 'rapist'. I don't deem him a villain in any way for what he did. I was a child in need of a deep sexual awakening and he gave me exactly that for 6 years of my life. I'm forever grateful and will always search for partners just like him 

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On 9/8/2022 at 4:14 AM, BareLover666 said:

The same goes for most boys or men who where raped or molested:
"I got an erection and shot my load, so I must have liked it". Because our body reacts independently to stimuli it's confusing as hell.

The man who I absolutely did not want touching me nonetheless stimulated my cock to the point that he forced me to have an orgasm and ejaculate. It wasn’t pleasurable. I didn’t want to do it, and I tried to resist cumming, but he made my body react in spite of me. I felt sick and soiled, and the leer on his face didn’t help.

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3 hours ago, ErosWired said:

The man who I absolutely did not want touching me nonetheless stimulated my cock to the point that he forced me to have an orgasm and ejaculate. It wasn’t pleasurable. I didn’t want to do it, and I tried to resist cumming, but he made my body react in spite of me. I felt sick and soiled, and the leer on his face didn’t help.

Thank you for coming out of this closet here and help in this way to break the silence. 💙 

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On 9/7/2022 at 8:19 PM, cumdumpCNY said:

It fucks boys up for life / anyone who says they like it is lying.    Fantasies are fine but no one enjoys rape - by the very definition, you can not enjoy.   Anyone boy undef 13 does not have the testosterone to enjoy sex either  

Speaking from experience. 
I was raped by my uncle for about 4 years starting at 8. I did not enjoy it at first, it was very painful. 
But as an adult I look back at the experience with pleasure. The memory now stimulates me. 
The only thing I missed in these discussions (I have not read every post) is did anyone that was raped as a child return the favor as an adult. 
That’s all I’ll say here. 

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1 hour ago, Bimarried001 said:

The only thing I missed in these discussions (I have not read every post) is did anyone that was raped as a child return the favor as an adult. 
That’s all I’ll say here. 

The reason you aren’t seeing that discussed here is likely that anyone replying in the affirmative would be admitting to a criminal sexual act against a minor. That shit doesn’t need to be glorified here under the apologetic that someone found it pleasurable. Relating your experience is one thing, but when you start fishing for accounts of men sexually assaulting children as “returning a favor” that skates very close to a prohibited line here.

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