Douching problem- help please

[PlayfulPup]

On 7/28/2020 at 9:55 AM, subpig00 said:

Yes, I'm taking psyllium husks every day. Somehow didn't really notice much difference.

- Gradually up your dosage to 20 grams/day.  That is a tablespoon 2x/day, or 7 capsules 3x/day.  Drink with lots of water.

- Add probiotics to the mix.  RenewLife is available at Amazon, CVS, Rite Aid, Target, and Walmart.

- Diet.  No amount of fiber and prep will counter a burrito with chorizo & refried beans.

- Avoid laxatives (saline, glycerine, etc.).  They induce diarrhea and cramping in people not suffering from constipation.

- Be aware that some illnesses and conditions make getting clean very challenging.  For example: Obesity, Chohn’s, Irritable Bowel, Diabetes, Pancreatitis, untreated HIV, and several others.

- Some days you just can’t get clean.  Do your best and adjust your play accordingly.

As for water, you’ll find a lot of different opinions.  Some guys — especially FFers and guys who play deep — like a long flexible hose and lots of water.  I’m in the camp that promotes a small, controlled amount water.  I EMPTY a Fleet bottle, refill it with warm water, then add a couple drops of gentle soap (helps with lingering scent).  Then I squirt half the bottle, expel it, then repeat.  After 2-4 bottles, I’m ready to go and don’t have residual water.

[viking8x6]

I read all of this with great interest - thanks for starting a super helpful thread, and thanks to all the people who posted great suggestions! I've certainly had similar problems, especially with guys who like to fuck deep. I do the best I can.

I will add that, because I have a rather difficult time finding tops at all in my area, it is hard to plan ahead, and pointless to take a long time doing this (because the tops, when you can find them, tend not to be patient). But it's vastly important to take care of yourself, and the whole point of the exercise is to enjoy, right? Added stress reduces enjoyment, and is not good for us! Therefore, my suggestion (which I try to live by) is: Do your best, but don't wig out with stress over the fact that sometimes it won't be perfect. Shit happens. Literally. It's just messy, not the end of the world. So use a towel in case it does, and apologize if it does - but casually, and not as though anything is wrong. Because nothing is wrong. Your body is working just the way it is supposed to. If the top doesn't like that... too bad! He chose to play, with full knowledge of the possible consequences. I find when I can live by this plan, it makes me much happier... and actually I don't think I've ever had a top get really bent about it.

Keep Calm and Keep Fucking

 

[Guest]

I've pretty much switched from mostly top to mostly bottom over the years and let me say it, I have a huge respect for bottoms! I still don't understand how some guys manage to go to a darkroom and spend the whole night getting fucked.

It hasn't been mentioned yet: OMAD (one meal a day) is extremely effective. If I expect company in the evening, it might be a good idea to have a very large breakfast as a single meal for the whole day. 

[Mightymouse83]

Have you had GI issues like before? That mucus thing is very common in patients with diverticulosis. Have you ever smelled it? If it smells a bit fishy then I’d say you might have this problem which is very common. Do you actually enjoy the sensation of anal sex? Because from all what you’re saying it sounds like you might be very uncomfortable during sex (with the bleeding and possible feelings that you have to shit). Try this, after you’ve done a deep cleaning, eat something. It’ll get the bowels moving again and expel any residual waster/mucus. Then you should be good for a couple hours.  

[Read1]

I've been reading on BZ. Sometimes I get requests to receive loads, like - NOW, and I'm not ready. A bit frustrating! I have a metal showershot attached to my shower (bought from Mr S Leather - you know the one!). It still take 90 mins (throw in the shower at the end too) to get ready. Some guys are ready in mins. Also, some guys aren't worried when they fuck you about you NOT having had an opportunity to clean out.

Any one shorten their douching time but still feel clean enough inside? How did you do it? Txs for reading and responding.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I personally have success with an ongoing diet of oatmeal each morning. It helps keep me regular and cleaned out, and any additional preparation is none to minimal. After months of a clean diet, I have had no worries about spontaneous encounters or ass-to-mouth activities. And you definitely score points with a top when you have no hesitation about submitting to whatever he wants to do. It takes dedication to maintain your diet, but a good top or even better a good Dom is worth the effort!

I guess I should elaborate that maybe a diet change will get you a good way to your goal, and then any additional cleaning method will take you the rest of the way.

Edited September 28, 2020 by YourNoLimitsBottom

[C10H15N]

As a fister, I don't have anything to add.  The advise here is spot on.

My guts are just as unpredictable.  Sometimes the clean out is quick, easy and done in under 15 minutes.  Other times I'm cramping and crapping in my shower for two hours with no end in sight. 

This is why I don't tolerate no-shows.  Getting ready to play can waste half a day.  

[Guest]

An update:

First of all, thanks everyone for the responses! It looks like a lot of people have issues with this.

Right now, my situation is a bit better. But far from "solved". This is how it got better:
I was already eating healthy, taking fiber supplements, etc. I didn't really introduce even more.

What I did was I ditched that goddamn showerhead, and started using a bulb. With the showerhead, I cannot control properly how much water I'm taking in. And it looks like I was constantly overdoing it. That's why shit was coming down endlessly and it was taking 2 hours. The last time with the showerhead I was still shitting after 2 hours, and that's when I said "that's it". Cancelled all my future sex plans. Took some time off. Then started trying the bulb.

It takes around an hour with the bulb now. Sometimes 45mins, sometimes a bit over an hour.
I have a glass that I use just for this. I fill that with water, and fill the bulb from it. After 2-3 expulsions it will look cleanish, then the 4-5th (sometimes several more unfortunately) will bring out some more dirt. Then the 6-7th one will go clean again. Then I put my 10inch dildo in me and ram my hole in the shower. Take it out, it's usually clean. One time it wasn't at the tip. A few more rounds do the trick. After the dildo I do a last half bulb. Then shower. When I go to my room, before getting ready and leaving, I put a towel on the floor and play with the dildo in this more relaxed setting. I'm always clean then, outside of that gut mucus.
I have never had an accident yet after switching to the bulb.

But as I said, I don't see it as "solved".
First, one hour is still long. It's just long. People are saying 10-15 mins, and I'm wasting a whole hour, plus getting ready before and after.
Second, during this one hour, having that time where it gets from clean to dirty again is nerve wrecking. Because every time I just think "maybe I'm clean now?" and then, no.
Third, the entire thing has become nerve wrecking to me. Before I douche, I'm feeling miserable for hours, because of the ordeal of douching that's coming. After I'm clean, when I'm going to the dom's house, I'm battered by anxiety all the way. I'm constantly thinking "I'm sure I couldn't do it. I'm sure it will be dirty. Oh? Is that a cramp in my stomach?" etc. Even when the dom is fucking me, my mind is just on the shit. I'm expecting him to stop and tell me it's getting dirty at any moment.

So, I still have this big problem. The notion of sex has become equal to stress, so I always feel like postponing meets. All my life I've been bottom, but now I've started to chat some bottoms to try out topping. And as someone above put it, I don't really get physical pleasure from bottoming anymore due to this stress. The pleasure is mental. From knowing that I'm being wanted and being used, and I'm giving a man pleasure.

I don't know how else to reduce this one hour. And how to get rid of that period in the middle of my douching where it goes from clean to messy before it gets totally clean.

Let me know what you guys think. And any suggestions are welcome !

[Guest]

 Also to answer some:

On 8/3/2020 at 4:16 PM, PlayfulPup said:

- Gradually up your dosage to 20 grams/day.  That is a tablespoon 2x/day, or 7 capsules 3x/day.  Drink with lots of water.

Thanks for the recommendations. I'm using pills. Each pill is 500mg. And it says to not exceed 2 pills per day. i'm usually a follower of medical rules 🙂 Why does it give such limitation? Any idea? What can happen if I take more...

On 8/14/2020 at 5:27 AM, Mightymouse83 said:

Have you had GI issues like before? That mucus thing is very common in patients with diverticulosis. Have you ever smelled it? If it smells a bit fishy then I’d say you might have this problem which is very common. Do you actually enjoy the sensation of anal sex? Because from all what you’re saying it sounds like you might be very uncomfortable during sex (with the bleeding and possible feelings that you have to shit). Try this, after you’ve done a deep cleaning, eat something. It’ll get the bowels moving again and expel any residual waster/mucus. Then you should be good for a couple hours.  

Thanks! I have always had this mucus, it doesn't smell. And I heard others have it too, as I'm asking so many people about douching online. It's become my biggest problem as its impact on my life is quite substantial now. I even started to postpone romantic potentials, deleted Grindr, and any conversation that can lead to sex started to terrify me, because I'll need to douche. So, no, right now most of the physical pleasure from anal sex has been cancelled with this problem. I still force myself to serve doms, and go through with this ordeal. But the pleasure is mostly mental now, as I mentioned in the previous answer.

[Guest]

Good decision skipping the showerhead. The water pumped in, as shown in that comic posted above, can easily reach the inner guts and put you in a situation of misery and mortal embarrassment in bed. I've tried it and I had the exact same experience as yours, never again. I've pretty much resigned myself to not being able to have anal sex as a bottom without a restroom in the immediate distance for a quick check. 

Just don't stress yourself so much about it: all tops with a brain and a heart will understand if you excuse yourself to use the bathroom. That's pretty much what I always do when I'm bottoming and the one traveling. It's better to spend 10 mins in the bathroom of a hot guy rather than forcing him to throw away his bedsheets.

[Guest]

On 10/5/2020 at 5:24 AM, bluewind said:

Good decision skipping the showerhead. The water pumped in, as shown in that comic posted above, can easily reach the inner guts and put you in a situation of misery and mortal embarrassment in bed. I've tried it and I had the exact same experience as yours, never again. I've pretty much resigned myself to not being able to have anal sex as a bottom without a restroom in the immediate distance for a quick check. 

Just don't stress yourself so much about it: all tops with a brain and a heart will understand if you excuse yourself to use the bathroom. That's pretty much what I always do when I'm bottoming and the one traveling. It's better to spend 10 mins in the bathroom of a hot guy rather than forcing him to throw away his bedsheets.

Thanks!
Yeah, I'll be stickng to the bulb. But still, I'm spending an hour cleaning. Sometimes more. The other day I just gave up after 1h20m. The only good thing is once it's done, I'm clean for 12-14 hours.

I wonder how long the people who get clean in a short time like 15-30 mins stay clean for? I think I've asked it before but no one said. Are they also clean for half a day? Or does it just last for 2-3 hours?

I'm also curious what sort of doctor I can go for help with douching. I think I'm running out of options to try.

[jaguar62]

First and foremost, sex is supposed to be enjoyable.  I've stressed similar over time, but to be honest almost every guy knows what's up and will gently suggest a quick touch up if needed.  Just need to get over the embarrassment and that takes time to work through to take it in stride.

Now when I'm planning on a group and need to be really clean, I've researched what is for me a sure fire 12-14 hour clean.  The night before take stool softeners.  Then in AM drink 64 oz of salted water.  It takes a bit but then in a couple hours I purge then do a quick rinse.  Has left me with some amazing group action with no worries.

[Guest]

Thanks!

I think I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that this is going to be how it is for me. It's not as bad as when I was using that horrendous showerhead. Reading and talking to people, it is common actually for it to take around an hour. Occasionally less, sometimes more. And I'm clean for such a long time after.
I guess hearing from people who say it takes 15 mins for them made me sure that there was something wrong with me. But I don't think they can be clean for half a day after a 15 min cleaning.
Hope it'll get better slowly.

[11bi11guy]

6 hours ago, subpig00 said:

Thanks!

I think I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that this is going to be how it is for me. It's not as bad as when I was using that horrendous showerhead. Reading and talking to people, it is common actually for it to take around an hour. Occasionally less, sometimes more. And I'm clean for such a long time after.
I guess hearing from people who say it takes 15 mins for them made me sure that there was something wrong with me. But I don't think they can be clean for half a day after a 15 min cleaning.
Hope it'll get better slowly.

I don’t know what kind of guys are saying it takes 15 minutes, but that’s unrealistic for what you want. It sounds like you want to be clean for half a day to a full day, and to be clean enough for an above average cock (your 8-inch dildo), and to be so clean that there is no trace of fecal matter. And you want all that in 15 minutes. Not gonna happen.

My guess is any guy saying it takes 15 minutes is preparing for an immediate single fuck that will probably last all of five minutes, with an average dick, just trying to get most of the fecal matter out of the rectum, and more than likely won’t be anxious, squeamish, or embarrassed if his top stimulates his sigmoid sphincter and some fecal matter gets on the top’s cock or he leaks out some brownish-tinted cum.

I don’t think you need a special trip to the medical doctor to help you with this. It sounds like your experience is all within normal limits. Maybe talk to a therapist if you continue to be so anxious about it that you can’t be in the moment during sex.

[Guest]

On 10/19/2020 at 4:56 PM, 11bi11guy said:

I don’t know what kind of guys are saying it takes 15 minutes, but that’s unrealistic for what you want. It sounds like you want to be clean for half a day to a full day, and to be clean enough for an above average cock (your 8-inch dildo), and to be so clean that there is no trace of fecal matter. And you want all that in 15 minutes. Not gonna happen.

My guess is any guy saying it takes 15 minutes is preparing for an immediate single fuck that will probably last all of five minutes, with an average dick, just trying to get most of the fecal matter out of the rectum, and more than likely won’t be anxious, squeamish, or embarrassed if his top stimulates his sigmoid sphincter and some fecal matter gets on the top’s cock or he leaks out some brownish-tinted cum.

I don’t think you need a special trip to the medical doctor to help you with this. It sounds like your experience is all within normal limits. Maybe talk to a therapist if you continue to be so anxious about it that you can’t be in the moment during sex.

Thanks
As it is now, it is sometimes even as short as 30mins, and sometimes, even 90mins, yesterday was nearly two hours. It is just unpredictable. But on average, I'm doing it in around an hour now, which is fine and fair for the result I get as you said.

Edited November 2, 2020 by subpig00