am i gay? did my addiction made me into this?

[nick9992]

Hello guys! i am 25 year old struggling with gay urges, thoughts, fantasies... i am happily in a relationship with my girl for 2 years now, and i love her really much sex is amazing! its confusing for me cause i didn't have a single gay thought for 2 years... and now the cravings are getting stronger, its really confusing cause those urges and cravings to have fantasies and watch gay porn trigger when i see a really hot girl, like i would be walking down the street and see a girl in a mini skirt and heels, and i would think to myself wow shes shot, and immediately triggers the thoughts of penis, muscles, having gay sex.. its like women trigger my gay urges... its not always but it happens really often now..  even straight porn triggers it.. if i think the porn is really REALLY hot i start to fantasize i am the women and doing all those sexy things with a guy.. at first i am like ew no i want women! and as time slowly passes the thought of men start to feel really good!... and it ends in me orgsaming and thinking to myself i need to stop i have a gf i don't need these fantasies i have great sex with my woman.. this is what bothers me... and i think i am not actually gay.. i just reprogrammed myself... 
cause for a really long time i had a fetish of being turned gay i mean since i was 14 i liked boys calling me gay and slapping my ass grabbing me tight and not letting me go... it turned me on secretly, but i always acted  angry but i only had crushes on women and masterbated to women 95% of the time..the thing is everytime i orgsamed i was straight 100%.. so everytime i was in a gay mode i would edge... and edge... to gay porn i mean even sometimes i would edge for 5 hours, i had nothing to do.. and when i was horny i would just watch... and fantasize and edge.... until i bursted from pleasure.... i was always bullied and even my friends and family called me gay always... just the way i walk and talk... i had no father... and the thought of big masculant man bending me over and taking away my musclalanity really turned me on... in the real world i would have only crushed on girls i would not find men attractive i think it all started with me being always rejected by girls, no female friends, made fun off... but as my addiction grew so did it evolve into phone sex, cam sex, posting nude pictures and videos of me on gay sites, i would love to crossdress..  like when i posted a video of myself using a dildo on myself and see all these men having arousing thoughts and finding me really hot, it just feed my addiction and i did it more..started looking to find online a man to have my first sexual experiance, the thing is every time i was online about 10 men would message me asking me if i want sex.. and i was only online for few minutes and that would turn me on really much... but everytime we set up a meeting i chicken out....that would be going on for years, until i finally was really horny and was in chastity so i could not orgsam before the meeting.. well yeah i gave a guy blowjob in the car and he penetreted me.. but i begged him not to touch my penis that was the rule... cause i knew if i came while having sex with him i would want to run and i would find him ugly etc... while i was giving him blowjob, my mind was going crazy... like this is the best thing in the world i want this forever... etc.. same as sex.. when he was done.. i just went home and soon as i got home i didnt even orgsam. but  i guess realization hit me i was like wtf have i done... i let a guy use me like a whore and i liked it... and after that i started to have rarely gay cravings and then i meet my love and it stopped for 2 years.... but now the urges, cravings, fantasies are back... and i can't control them... the thing is i would not mind the fantasies and cravings.. but the thing i did few weeks ago i just cant forgive myself... i was really horny an i guess i wanted to check my gay profile on whats new... and soon as opened people where messiging me, at first i was like "ewww i am just checking something i dont want to flirt with guys that would be cheating to my gf" but then a really hot guy messiged me and i was like "maybe i should just chat with him" and we chated it turned sexual i told him how badly i want him he told me how badly he wants me.. and in my mind "maybe it would be not so bad to cheat just 1 time with this guy he is just sooo hot i need him badly!" thats what even he said that she does not need to find out.. and when he set up a meeting i could not contain myself and orgsamed before i left my house... and quickly exited and deleted my profile and was really ashemed... i could not believe i was going to cheat on my gf.. i was lucky cause if i didnt orgsam and if he was across the street o would had sex with him 100%... that is my problem i would need some advice please..

[ConversionPiglet]

You might be bi...desire and find both sex's attractive and wish to act or feel emotional and sexual with each.  No issues with that; accept yourself and be honest with yourself and others.

 

[Guest ff-whole]

When I look at porn and I see a hot woman getting gang banged in all holes I get the feeling that I want to be that woman, or I want to join that woman and lick her pussy and ass while she is getting fucked... Women are for me the love connection, the romantic material - for me a woman is to fall in love with... I would also love to have sex with her....

BUT when it comes to real carnal and kinky sex, I think how I am getting spit roasted, gang banged, fisted by hard men. I want to be the cum dump and used and filled up. I don't feel like kissing - let alone fall in love with a man. However I take a dick in my ass any second when the opportunity arises...

Yes - I consider myself bisexual. 

[ErosWired]

@nick9992 - I’m sorry this is causing you so much doubt and distress. Let’s talk for a minute about what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.

Studies of human sexuality since the 1970s have demonstrated that sexual orientation isn’t either/or, gay/straight, but rather a spectrum that stretches between those two points, and every person falls somewhere along that spectrum with aspects of both orientations in varying proportions. That is, almost everyone is capable of at least a little same-sex attraction under the right conditions.

Those who occupy the middle of the spectrum are true bisexuals. You may be one of these. Congratulations! You get to order off the full menu! The downside is that it can be confusing.

Your orientation is at least partly genetically determined, but that isn’t the whole story. It’s clear from your narrative that your experiences while growing up without a masculine family role model likely added a psychological influence. The genetics you can’t do anything about; the psychology, to some degree, you can, with the aid of a therapist trained in sexual psychology.

The upshot of all this is that what you’re feeling is a natural part of who you are, and that’s okay. There is mo shame in being who you are.

Since you are in a committed relationship, however, it also means that while you may have the whole menu in front of you, you’re likely going to have to choose.

Unless your girlfriend is a very uncommon sort of woman, if you value her and your relationship with her you are probably going to have to learn to accept your same-sex attraction but leave it as an unchosen option. Cheating on her will ultimately come to light (it always does) and you risk losing her as a result.

 If you feel that your same-sex interest cannot be denied, then you have a responsibility to tell her and allow her to make her own choice to stay or go. You will face this crossroads inevitably if you cannot leave your same-sex thoughts in the realm of fantasy.

 In my case, my wife chose to go. I let her go because her happiness was all I wanted, but I knew that I couldn’t leave my same-sex feelings without acting upon them. I like ladies just fine, but I have a duty to surrender my body To Men.

 I hope this helps a little, but in the end your decision will have to be a very personal one, and I wish you peace in making it.

[nick9992]

On 7/13/2020 at 10:54 AM, ErosWired said:

@nick9992 - I’m sorry this is causing you so much doubt and distress. Let’s talk for a minute about what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.

Studies of human sexuality since the 1970s have demonstrated that sexual orientation isn’t either/or, gay/straight, but rather a spectrum that stretches between those two points, and every person falls somewhere along that spectrum with aspects of both orientations in varying proportions. That is, almost everyone is capable of at least a little same-sex attraction under the right conditions.

Those who occupy the middle of the spectrum are true bisexuals. You may be one of these. Congratulations! You get to order off the full menu! The downside is that it can be confusing.

Your orientation is at least partly genetically determined, but that isn’t the whole story. It’s clear from your narrative that your experiences while growing up without a masculine family role model likely added a psychological influence. The genetics you can’t do anything about; the psychology, to some degree, you can, with the aid of a therapist trained in sexual psychology.

The upshot of all this is that what you’re feeling is a natural part of who you are, and that’s okay. There is mo shame in being who you are.

Since you are in a committed relationship, however, it also means that while you may have the whole menu in front of you, you’re likely going to have to choose.

Unless your girlfriend is a very uncommon sort of woman, if you value her and your relationship with her you are probably going to have to learn to accept your same-sex attraction but leave it as an unchosen option. Cheating on her will ultimately come to light (it always does) and you risk losing her as a result.

 If you feel that your same-sex interest cannot be denied, then you have a responsibility to tell her and allow her to make her own choice to stay or go. You will face this crossroads inevitably if you cannot leave your same-sex thoughts in the realm of fantasy.

 In my case, my wife chose to go. I let her go because her happiness was all I wanted, but I knew that I couldn’t leave my same-sex feelings without acting upon them. I like ladies just fine, but I have a duty to surrender my body To Men.

 I hope this helps a little, but in the end your decision will have to be a very personal one, and I wish you peace in making it.

thank you for such kind reply... i love my girlfriend... but i dont think i will ever be able to supress my gay urges... i just really crave to be dominated by men and to crossdress if i told my girlfriend how i feel at first she would not believe me then she would leave me... cause in some moments i find men more attractive and crave them more than a woman... like yesterday i saw a guy with no shirt working out.. i got so hard looking at him all i wanted to do is to drop his pants and suck him off... lol

[drscorpio]

Honestly, this all sounds too complicated to try to unpack and work through with strangers on the Internet. A good, sex-positive therapist can probably help you sort this all out. Whether or not you do that, please be honest with your girlfriend if you need to start having sex with men on the side. 

[bihairy]

On 7/12/2020 at 5:08 AM, nick9992 said:

Hello guys! i am 25 year old struggling with gay urges, thoughts, fantasies... i am happily in a relationship with my girl for 2 years now, and i love her really much sex is amazing! its confusing for me cause i didn't have a single gay thought for 2 years... and now the cravings are getting stronger, its really confusing cause those urges and cravings to have fantasies and watch gay porn trigger when i see a really hot girl, like i would be walking down the street and see a girl in a mini skirt and heels, and i would think to myself wow shes shot, and immediately triggers the thoughts of penis, muscles, having gay sex.. its like women trigger my gay urges... its not always but it happens really often now..  even straight porn triggers it.. if i think the porn is really REALLY hot i start to fantasize i am the women and doing all those sexy things with a guy.. at first i am like ew no i want women! and as time slowly passes the thought of men start to feel really good!... and it ends in me orgsaming and thinking to myself i need to stop i have a gf i don't need these fantasies i have great sex with my woman.. this is what bothers me... and i think i am not actually gay.. i just reprogrammed myself... 
cause for a really long time i had a fetish of being turned gay i mean since i was 14 i liked boys calling me gay and slapping my ass grabbing me tight and not letting me go... it turned me on secretly, but i always acted  angry but i only had crushes on women and masterbated to women 95% of the time..the thing is everytime i orgsamed i was straight 100%.. so everytime i was in a gay mode i would edge... and edge... to gay porn i mean even sometimes i would edge for 5 hours, i had nothing to do.. and when i was horny i would just watch... and fantasize and edge.... until i bursted from pleasure.... i was always bullied and even my friends and family called me gay always... just the way i walk and talk... i had no father... and the thought of big masculant man bending me over and taking away my musclalanity really turned me on... in the real world i would have only crushed on girls i would not find men attractive i think it all started with me being always rejected by girls, no female friends, made fun off... but as my addiction grew so did it evolve into phone sex, cam sex, posting nude pictures and videos of me on gay sites, i would love to crossdress..  like when i posted a video of myself using a dildo on myself and see all these men having arousing thoughts and finding me really hot, it just feed my addiction and i did it more..started looking to find online a man to have my first sexual experiance, the thing is every time i was online about 10 men would message me asking me if i want sex.. and i was only online for few minutes and that would turn me on really much... but everytime we set up a meeting i chicken out....that would be going on for years, until i finally was really horny and was in chastity so i could not orgsam before the meeting.. well yeah i gave a guy blowjob in the car and he penetreted me.. but i begged him not to touch my penis that was the rule... cause i knew if i came while having sex with him i would want to run and i would find him ugly etc... while i was giving him blowjob, my mind was going crazy... like this is the best thing in the world i want this forever... etc.. same as sex.. when he was done.. i just went home and soon as i got home i didnt even orgsam. but  i guess realization hit me i was like wtf have i done... i let a guy use me like a whore and i liked it... and after that i started to have rarely gay cravings and then i meet my love and it stopped for 2 years.... but now the urges, cravings, fantasies are back... and i can't control them... the thing is i would not mind the fantasies and cravings.. but the thing i did few weeks ago i just cant forgive myself... i was really horny an i guess i wanted to check my gay profile on whats new... and soon as opened people where messiging me, at first i was like "ewww i am just checking something i dont want to flirt with guys that would be cheating to my gf" but then a really hot guy messiged me and i was like "maybe i should just chat with him" and we chated it turned sexual i told him how badly i want him he told me how badly he wants me.. and in my mind "maybe it would be not so bad to cheat just 1 time with this guy he is just sooo hot i need him badly!" thats what even he said that she does not need to find out.. and when he set up a meeting i could not contain myself and orgsamed before i left my house... and quickly exited and deleted my profile and was really ashemed... i could not believe i was going to cheat on my gf.. i was lucky cause if i didnt orgsam and if he was across the street o would had sex with him 100%... that is my problem i would need some advice please..

I had gay thoughts for a long time. All the porn I watched was gay. I would look at men and think about fucking them. I am married with kids. I came out to them awhile ago.  Those urges and desires never ever go away. I find the sex with men to be the best ever. When I am kissing a guy and sucking/getting sucked and fucking ass I am so happy.  I'm older so there were lots of labels put on people. "Gay, Straight, Bi" etc. Now though talking to people your age there seems to be more of a fluid thinking towards sex. I think its great. Sex is wonderful. It feels good. It is what we are made of as human.  If you have gay desires then it is ok. I get the guilt.  I've been there.  But (my opinion) guilt is a waste of energy.  Like worry, it gives you something to do but gets you no where. (LOL I love that saying)  Enjoy your sexuality. See how receptive your girl is in a gentle fashion.  "Would you do a 3 way with another girl/guy?" see how she reacts.  Dont panic about these thoughts. If you want to J/O to gay porn, go for it. I love bb porn and love watching guys fucking and breeding. I have huge orgasms watching.  Straight porn doesn't do it for me.  I don't know where you live if you have community pressures/religious pressures etc. but don't let it get to you. enjoy exploring.  just my opinion. good luck

[bihairy]

On 7/13/2020 at 4:54 AM, ErosWired said:

@nick9992 - I’m sorry this is causing you so much doubt and distress. Let’s talk for a minute about what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.

Studies of human sexuality since the 1970s have demonstrated that sexual orientation isn’t either/or, gay/straight, but rather a spectrum that stretches between those two points, and every person falls somewhere along that spectrum with aspects of both orientations in varying proportions. That is, almost everyone is capable of at least a little same-sex attraction under the right conditions.

Those who occupy the middle of the spectrum are true bisexuals. You may be one of these. Congratulations! You get to order off the full menu! The downside is that it can be confusing.

Your orientation is at least partly genetically determined, but that isn’t the whole story. It’s clear from your narrative that your experiences while growing up without a masculine family role model likely added a psychological influence. The genetics you can’t do anything about; the psychology, to some degree, you can, with the aid of a therapist trained in sexual psychology.

The upshot of all this is that what you’re feeling is a natural part of who you are, and that’s okay. There is mo shame in being who you are.

Since you are in a committed relationship, however, it also means that while you may have the whole menu in front of you, you’re likely going to have to choose.

Unless your girlfriend is a very uncommon sort of woman, if you value her and your relationship with her you are probably going to have to learn to accept your same-sex attraction but leave it as an unchosen option. Cheating on her will ultimately come to light (it always does) and you risk losing her as a result.

 If you feel that your same-sex interest cannot be denied, then you have a responsibility to tell her and allow her to make her own choice to stay or go. You will face this crossroads inevitably if you cannot leave your same-sex thoughts in the realm of fantasy.

 In my case, my wife chose to go. I let her go because her happiness was all I wanted, but I knew that I couldn’t leave my same-sex feelings without acting upon them. I like ladies just fine, but I have a duty to surrender my body To Men.

 I hope this helps a little, but in the end your decision will have to be a very personal one, and I wish you peace in making it.

Very well said. In my case my wife decided to stay.  I have man sex and love every second of it.

[Guest FinalDL2021]

On 7/12/2020 at 10:04 AM, ff-whole said:

When I look at porn and I see a hot woman getting gang banged in all holes I get the feeling that I want to be that woman, or I want to join that woman and lick her pussy and ass while she is getting fucked... Women are for me the love connection, the romantic material - for me a woman is to fall in love with... I would also love to have sex with her....

BUT when it comes to real carnal and kinky sex, I think how I am getting spit roasted, gang banged, fisted by hard men. I want to be the cum dump and used and filled up. I don't feel like kissing - let alone fall in love with a man. However I take a dick in my ass any second when the opportunity arises...

Yes - I consider myself bisexual. 

you, and I are alike, I could not have said it better myself-and I also consider myself Bisexual. 

[coastalbender]

I'm going to break the current and probably offend some people:

1. You want pussy? You're self-identified as male? NOT GAY! 

2. Whether or not you get horny for dick IS NOT THE ISSUE! The issue is whether you are cheating on another person. That's a shitty behavior, and that's all that matters.

So, that's what it comes down to. Are you going to cheat or not? Now, "not cheating" doesn't have to mean "can't have any cock". If she knows about your desires and IF you get permission, then it's not cheating. Most women aren't secure enough for that, but there are some who are okay with it, and the rare goddesses who get turned on by it.

[ronnie4u]

Same thoughts here - like you sometimes - remember young , my friends , having a circle j.o. session - falling in love seeing dicks - jacking off - y friends were jealous of me - uncut dick - skin rolling back and forth over the head .  Allowed them taking turns stroking me - allowing them feel about my extra skin !  What was GREAT was the fresh cum loads I tasted - B.J.'s !

Then a couple in the woods having sex :  Big Black Male Top and his White Fem Boyfriend - always using encouraging words to me - teaching me sucking a Big Black Dick ! While encouraging me - he start's rubbing my crotch - pulling down my pants , exposing me , while I was sucking ! The Black Master told me to relax and have a Good time - I did so relaxing - loving it !

We became friends - transforming me !

Then , my parents sent me to spend 2 weeks with my Uncle and his son - did not know they were secretly Gay from the family - except my Dad !

Later sucking my dad dick - mom caught us - divorced - she was a party female !

My Dick gets HARD - Erection remembering those Beautiful Days !