CAN MEN LOOK AT YOU AND KNOW YOU ARE GAY FAG? OR ITS NOT SO OBVIOUS?

[subbottomguy]

Most people don’t immediately know I’m gay, I’m certainly not ashamed of it so if asked I’m open. If your around me enough it does become obvious if you look as I have had people ask me if I was after a short time.

[Guest]

Even though I started young (back then anyone could tell) I've learned to keep it hidden, having grown up in a small town. So in day to day life, most have no idea. I do get hit on by a Top occasionally in a "non-gay" situations. Some men can just see right through the facade, but most can't. If asked, I'm open about it...I mean why not?

[Guest]

On 10/11/2020 at 10:29 PM, CumBustion said:

I’ve read articles where imprisoned rapists in a study have claimed that they can take one look at someone (usually a woman) and instantly sense a potential victims that has been assaulted before. They describe it as a feeling, a certain look, the way they talk, sometimes even a scent. 
 

That being said, I consider myself fairly conservative in my clothing, str8 acting (or rather, I forced myself to learn how to turn “it” on and off, depending on who I am hanging out with), and yet I have had a few Tops approach me in non-gay venues and straight away tell me that they want to fuck me. I’ve asked them how did they know that I was not only gay, but also a bottom. Their reply was simply “I just knew.” One did tell me that it was the way I looked at him, that I held my gaze a little too long for a straight guy and that he noticed I took a quick glance at his bulge before returning back to his eyes. All of this happened in less than a second as I was standing in line at Starbucks.

In Poker they call them tells, little ques about a person or their actions. It's the same for me, I am str8 acting, yet not an Alpha male, I don't really dress to impress, I am just me. I have had men hit on me, in non-gay venues, and my first question is how did you know I was into men? 

[PendragonSpirit]

It really depends. Unless I'm straight-up (no pun intended) wearing an "I'm Gay, Ask Me How" shirt or something, it's about 50/50 on people who just 'know' vs. those who don't. Granted, that's in normal, everyday interactions. If I'm getting spit-roasted by two dudes in a park or a bookstore or whatever, there's considerably less confusion.

[backdoorjimmy]

I had this conversation with my aunt on my dad's side family recently. I don't really see her as often because she lives on the west coast and I live on the east coast, but the topic came up because one of my 2nd cousin's came out as a lesbian and everyone was shocked. My aunt made a passing comment about me that I don't come across as gay but there's a vibe I give off that she can't explain. I asked if it was gaydar and she said, "No, and I don't want this to be creepy, but the vibe is anal. I know you're a bottom."

Since I'm not hung up on it, I said she was right and asked her to explain. She said she didn't have the words to explain, just that it's obvious. I'm pretty plain with how I dress and act. I'm the handyman in the family so I get called when someone needs their oil changed or their toilet flange replaced, but somehow I still have strong bottom energy.

I actually felt a little proud when we ended the call.

[Sub-Cocksucker]

I am a normal average looking guy, I dont look fem at all, so no, you cant tell by looking at me.
I also keep my sex life separate from my normal life, so thats a good thing.

That being said, part of me would like to be an obvious faggot, so that men could use me often soon as they see me.
One of my favorite experiences was when I stopped at a rest area on a trip, which I try to cruise when I can.
I was walking back to my vehicle, which was parks near the end of the lot, next to where the trucks park.
I was about to get something out of the back of my vehicle, when a trucker walked right past me.
With the most dominate attitude he grabs his crotch and says, want to suck this cock FAGGOT?
I instantly blurted out, yes sir, without even thinking. He laughed and said follow me faggot.
I followed him into the back of his truck and sucked his cock like my life depended on it.
He humiliated and verbally abused me the entire time, soon as I swallowed down his load he pushed me off him,
and said, ok faggot, get the fuck out.

I donno if he just figured what the hell I will see what happens, or if he could just tell.
I swear, I get the sense he just, knew. And I admit, I wish all true dom men knew I was a FAGGOT.

[ErosWired]

You know, I have absolutely no idea whether people who look at me can see or sense anything about my sexuality. No one ever makes any sort of open move or comment on me outside of a bathhouse, male or female. Not that that’s particularly surprising - I’ve got a face made for radio, and it’s a wonder anyone can look at it at all for any length of time, let alone study it for clues. But on the other hand, I doubt I would notice if someone did make a pass at me - I don’t have the ability to pick up on social cues. It would actually be a great relief if anyone with an interest would be as overt about it as @Sub-Cocksucker’s trucker above; that way I would be sure I wasn’t overlooking anything and could just respond honestly.

As if. Chances are I’m not missing any advances on me because there aren’t any advances on me to miss.

[gingerdaddyG]

Interesting subject. When I was a child other boys referred to me as ‘gay boy’ - I didn’t like sports (particularly football (soccer in the US)), didn’t really like getting messy or join in with ‘rough & tumble’ activities. As an adult I can only think of a handful of times when in a non-gay setting another guy has commented ‘faggot’ - and that was one evening in a city centre after work just walking down the street - I was very smartly dressed and had my briefcase with me, but I didn’t think I was screaming GAY!  (On saying that I don’t dress like a butch lumberjack - although I do like that look on other guys lol!). I’ve probably had more women pick up on my sexuality and comment on it, but I would say it’s been a certain type of women, who like to flirt outrageously with men and be ‘one of the lads’ - and well, I don’t flirt back as I’m obviously not interested - so it’s almost like an assumption that because I don’t find them irresistible I MUST be gay!  
When it comes to guys flirting with me - I’m totally rubbish at picking up on that or completely misreading it!! Hey-ho - I’ll just stick to saunas and cruising! 

[hntnhole]

17 hours ago, backdoorjimmy said:

I had this conversation with my aunt

This reminds me of my Aunt Bitch.  Yours was not a bitch, but mine was, and that's putting it gently.  But she was afraid of me, so she was always the very definition of insincerity to my face.  I only wish she would have allowed her detestable "real self" to surface, since I would surely not have let that opportunity pass by to unleash how deeply I detested everything about her.  Even my cousins (her kids) started calling her Aunt Bitch. When she died, they must have had to dig an even deeper ring ring in hell, just for her. 

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I’ve got a face made for radio

LOL ... no one here would believe that for a second, but the phrase is roll-on-the-floor funny.

But I surely understand the response.  I think I must have been porking something in the john when they handed out the "gaydar".  I have never been able to "sense" anything unless they're in heels and feathers - or Full Dress Leather.  I often go to a grocery store in the heart of Wilton Manors (ground zero in this area), and I know the store is half-full of gay men at the very least.  Yet, l cannot tell, short of some overtly gay shirt or something.  I often overhear as I'm passing by what is clearly a pair of men asking each other stuff like "do we need milk?" - or "let's get the pork chops for supper tonight".  Sure, I've caught guys checking out my Cock, but their appearance gives me no clue at all.  Chances are pretty good I've missed out on chances, simply because I can't recognize them.  Even if I go to a bar with a buddy for a beer or three, and my buddy says "that guy's cruising you", I can't pick up on which guy it is.  Guys laugh at how dense I am about it.  While occasionally some guy will just say something like "wanna fuck?", I guess I must have a "radio-mug" too.  

This is why I hit the fuckjoint regularly, where every guy is there to fuck.  

[BarebackBrat]

Unless I’m dressed up in my fem role nobody seems to be the wiser

[ErosWired]

I just asked my local Top, who has fucked many, many holes about this, and he says that he can usually tell by looking not only whether a man is a gay Top or bottom, but whether a straight guy likes his ass played with. I asked him if I give off any sort of vibe and he said that if he didn’t know me and saw me on the street he would know that I like to bottom. That’s an amazing ability. 

[BarebackBrat]

21 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I just asked my local Top, who has fucked many, many holes about this, and he says that he can usually tell by looking not only whether a man is a gay Top or bottom, but whether a straight guy likes his ass played with. I asked him if I give off any sort of vibe and he said that if he didn’t know me and saw me on the street he would know that I like to bottom. That’s an amazing ability. 

And total hogwash IMO

[Kayne]

Being Black and living in the ghetto, its a male assumption since every dude is trying to project Hardcore thug energy. Show any softness and you're a target. Being able to Fight and unafraid to do do will change perceptions, but if you show anything other than sheer physical prowess, its a foregone conclusion.

Also The heavier you are, the more likely you're simply assumed to be. Being called a "Faggot" whether you are or not is just gateway to a fight.

That being sald, I've never been able to hide. And I've always been able to identify my "Kin" Still, I've not found many willing to call it out, unless they want to get a foot buried deep where the sun rarely shines.

But when your Pop smashes your Cherry,  Orher Wolves seem to smell it on you. 

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

That’s an amazing ability

Well, I guess we're all born with certain abilities ... that IS an amazing ability, but I simply don't possess it, dammittall.  Not that I'm complaining - everybody gets certain inborn abilities, and I've made good use of those I do have.  That said, I would have appreciated at least some small measure of recognizing my own kind at a glance.  Maybe I've missed a lot of action through the years, and I don't even know it ....