Increase on getting ghosted on apps?

[Oldercumslut]

I'm chubby bearish so one of the apps I use is Growlr.  Here lately I've been betting ghosted (If that's the right word).   Chat for a bit and start to plan on a hookup and suddenly they are gone.  It's happened a couple of times on Grindr but primarily for me on Growlr.   Anyone else having this issue.  It's a pain getting all worked up and they suddenly they are gone. 

[BootmanLA]

When you say "gone" - do you mean "profile deleted"? Or do you mean "no longer responds"? Those are different things, and may have very different causes.

[Guest hungandmean]

In the best of times a majority of people on apps are using it to generate material to jerk off too. In the pandemic, i'd suspect those numbers are multiplied.

If you're looking for something more direct you're probably better just not engaging in long conversations and perhaps going to bbrts or squirt. 

[badubydo]

A lot more pic collectors or people who have no desire to meet online lately due to Covid I think. I’m over it. 

[drscorpio]

The quality of interactions on the apps has gone way downhill in the last few months. All my buds have commented on it. There was another thread talking about a related issue in here last week. 

[SpectreAgent]

1 hour ago, drscorpio said:

The quality of interactions on the apps has gone way downhill in the last few months. All my buds have commented on it. There was another thread talking about a related issue in here last week. 

This is very true. That said, I’ve found that the quality of meets from apps I have had this past year - admittedly bending restrictions a little - have been with some of the most terrific guys I’ve ever met online. One from BBRT has become a fabulous fuckbud as has another from BBRT, who I found lives in the next building… There is also a BZ regular, who I finally met last year after months of chatting, who is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met/played with (he knows who he is!) .

Edited May 16, 2021 by RawPlug
Typo

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

I took the plunge and deleted all my profiles and uninstalled the apps from my phone. Just had enough of it. Chat to some guys from here, either via messages or on Telegram instead. 

[Bwccummer]

After getting bogged down by some just pictures to jerk off to. One thing with one app learned is not a option to save picture. Although I guess other ways to save pictures is helpful, for seems some if get picture shortly after delate profile or no longer hear anything. 

I can see pictures can be use to help decide to meet or not as how should use. However, if one just want pictures to masterbate to that feel apps are not really for that. Or put another way if had a option of pictures or meet in person for fun that would think many want to meet for fun.

Also see now if one just right off the bat asks for pictures I am declined to not share for been burned too many times. If need jerk off material that bad to buy a magazine, watch adult video, or read website online of exotic.

A similar related issue of some ask for pictures is I first want to learn is age 18 or older for legal reasons. I had one that get upset asked for age, they shared was age 18 and then deleted chat. I don't care, for see if upset in share age that not deserve to see pictures. I find just part of chat to ask age and not relie on profile age. Or if they went to adult bookstore,  and upset at being ID card check  then I think they should not show up. Also I noticed some apps have to manually update profile that includes age. I noticed many a delay in updating so profile age may say 18, but are 19 now for not update profile. 

The other annoying part of apps is some just share a bunch of pictures without asking if I want to see. Equally annoying is 2 to 3 pictures is enough for me. Some send more pictures and feel almost more than want to see. Not to mention some are almost same pictures of cock, or ass but may be a close up or from a slightly different perspective. I guess some ways to try to get attention,  but if I want to see more pictures that would ask.

Then remember some start wanting to see say ass, or other pictures.  I find this extra annoying for some pictures can be tricky to take, also dislike how feel they directing pictures to take. Bottom line is seems just want whack off material and my experience is not inclined to seriously meet.

I understand concern individuals had of COVID-19, but felt should have got a magazine, book, video or visit a website if need release and not ask for pictures on apps unless serious in actual meeting. 

With too many ask for pictures on apps almost think of delate apps, or no longer readily share. If had a bit of conversation maybe share with a caveat that if I  think just a picture collector that not again share pictures. I recall chatting with one, that asked for pictures, only a couple of short weeks later ask again for pictures. I didn't share again. I can see lost chat logs, but still if not serious in meeting then go get a magazine, video, book, or visit website and leave those alone that are looking to meet. 

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

5 hours ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

I took the plunge and deleted all my profiles and uninstalled the apps from my phone. Just had enough of it. Chat to some guys from here, either via messages or on Telegram instead. 

I've been considering doing this but at that point I'd just be ending my sex life

[BlackDude]

It’s a ego thing. Some of these dudes actually get off on not fucking. Which each guy the ghost or turn down, they are telling themselves they are better than the rest. They’ll be online for weeks pretending they are not fucking, hoping for a unicorn. You got guys sitting in cities with millions of people talking about “I can’t find anyone I’m attracted too.”
 

It’s not even an attraction thing. Some of the dudes out cruising or online literally have no intention on meeting, let alone fucking unless your a 25-30 year old jock with a 10 inch dick.

 

Dont take it personal. Just make sure when they finally decide to come down from their ivory towers, you aren’t there to rescue them. 

[Guest]

I gave up online dating years ago. Firstly I'm passed being God's Gift to anyone and secondly (like most on here), know what I want sexually and don't apologise. So my online persona triggered a lot of projection which happens in tandem with some one handed messaging. Used to have current pics etc, but hook ups could go a bit awry, and thats not even counting the times they didn't match their profile. There was a lot of energy that resulted in very little.

Much prefer to meet in venues for realtime meets, because more often than not who you fancy is outside your prescribed list, and in a naked club you aint lying about your dick size or build, so if guys fancy you, it's because of what they see right in front of them. Plus, vibes are more easily read. I might get less sex, comparitively, but what I do is fun and with a surprising range of guys. Some of them become friends too.

[fskn]

It's frustrating when something we'd begun looking forward to doesn't end up happening.

That said, app use is episodic, fundamentally. People go online when they're horny, when they're lonely, when they're not busy, when the wife is out, etc. Those conditions can change quickly.

I don't understand planning sex with a stranger in advance. If one of us isn't in the mood when the time rolls around, we don't know each other well enough to fall back to "Mrs. Robinson, would you like to go to a movie?"

When a guy changes his mind, he hasn't done anything wrong. I don't expect an apology or an explanation. It's pointless, because it doesn't change the outcome but does make me spend more time ruminating and feeling discouraged. Block me, or stop responding! There are plenty of other men online.

(And if you didn't block me — it wasn't a hard no — and you want to get back in touch next time you're horny or your boyfriend is at work, please do. Maybe we'll end up meeting this time!)

[Guest]

Going to play devils advocate here, i;ve been on apps and been ghosted, but also have ghosted.

I think it's part of whole 21st century dating scene (straight and gay btw). Sometimes, I know iv;e been ghosted because someone has engaged in chat, had a wank and lost interest (and vice versa). I was on one app and was chatting to this guy, all good, some seriously filthy chat, but i had a really nagging feeling that this chap wasn;t as sincere as he was claming to be.

I agree ghosting is wrong. But it's an almost acccepted part of the "instant gratification" world in which we live.

This is why, i prefer the immedicacy of sex clubs, over app dating. And as one poster has alluded to, lockdown has taken the focus away from being in an envrionment where sex is expected to one where you're tlaking to a profile, which may or may not be representitive of that person. Also, away from my fanstasie of being drugged and gang raped  -  going to someones gaff off the basis of a ferw dirty chats on Grindr, is more an invite to be drugged and raped in the real sesne than any fantasy.

[Flyguy2020]

On 5/16/2021 at 12:50 AM, RawPlug said:

This is very true. That said, I’ve found that the quality of meets from apps I have had this past year - admittedly bending restrictions a little - have been with some of the most terrific guys I’ve ever met online. One from BBRT has become a fabulous fuckbud as has another from BBRT, who I found lives in the next building… There is also a BZ regular, who I finally met last year after months of chatting, who is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met/played with (he knows who he is!) .

RawPlug - you mentioned "BZ" regular. I'm not familiar with that? What does "BZ" stand for? Thanks!

[str8mature5]

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