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10 rules for bottoms


eurotopnyc

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21 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Accepted, with the understanding that if we don't do what we can to advance equalities, we're enabling the inequalities,  regardless of the source.   This concept applies in general, everyday life, on websites, in the fuckjoints, everywhere.  

I don't think that we're all perceived as equal - far from it.  That doesn't mean that it's too difficult to advance a more enlightened m.o. in our own daily lives; at the grocery store, walking down the street, in the fuckjoints, whenever the opportunity arises.  Call it tilting at a windmill if you'd like, but at least we can try to make things better in however minute a way. 

No one would claim that we're all perceived as equal, but we can still take a stand against the inequalities of prejudice - whether in the greater population or merely in our own.  

Again, I don’t disagree, but my point remains - achieving the enlightened state you (and we all ought to) aspire to becomes very difficult when the very ones  on the receiving end of the negative consequences of perceived inequality take every opportunity to encourage and reward the attitudes and behavior.

How are we to reach a point where bottoms and cumdumps are no longer considered by some to be ‘disposable’ sex objects if a significant number of them jump at every chance to proclaim “Yes! I’m a trashy faggot, Sir! Treat me like a worthless whore, Sir!” And then submit to acts of sexual excess that by their nature are intended to debase and humiliate? What incentive does a Top with such an attitude have, when thus affirmed and rewarded, to change? He has none, and this forum is brimming with examples of bottoms affirming exactly those attitudes.

I do not announce that I am trashy or disposable, but to the degree that I hold certain firm beliefs about my own sexual role and status, and Tops’ entitlement to my body and service, I an guilty of this as well. Further, my style of service can only reinforce a certain negative view of men like me, if such a view is held. I maintain my equality with any man who fucks me in most any other facet of life, but it is much harder to make the case for equality among men for a cumdump whose cunt has a cock breeding it.

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On 9/14/2023 at 9:30 AM, hntnhole said:

 

I don't think that we're all perceived as equal - far from it.  That doesn't mean that it's too difficult to advance a more enlightened m.o. in our own daily lives; at the grocery store, walking down the street, in the fuckjoints, whenever the opportunity arises. 

No one would claim that we're all perceived as equal, but we can still take a stand against the inequalities of prejudice - whether in the greater population or merely in our own.  

Agreed x10.

We have no control over how others perceive us, we can only control our own self perception and our attitude and actions that result.  

To me, the question of equality is way too involved and complex to answer in most hook up situations. To me, D/s, Top./bottom are not about equality or inequality. They're about attraction of opposites, and ideally, the balance of symbiosis where each person naturally gets their need/desires met by being who and how they are sexually.

The reason i take a hard pass on a guy that doesn't want/need me as much as i want/need Him is because, to me, that is an essential ingredient. Guys who have to make a point of inequality, asserting supposed superiority, come off as disingenuous at best. The top doth protest too much methinks. It has the opposite effect on me, like driving a big truck to try and compensate or cover for feelings that are not superior at all.  

i find honest, open, vulnerable expression of need/desire to be courageous and powerful, not weak or inferior. To me, a superior attitude is just a costume in an act, and i don't want to play with sex, i want the real thing, the real person.

 

 

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15 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

The top doth protest too much methinks.

..... and too loudly, too often, too insistently, and with too much braggadocio. It's not just off-putting to bottoms, it's embarrassing to other Tops as well.  

methinks me agrees with tallsplendidguy yet again.  

ooops .......... I mean tallslenderguy ....

Edited by hntnhole
slippery damn fingers
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On 9/13/2023 at 5:38 PM, hntnhole said:

You reference "in a group setting";  Swapping Cocks is the whole point of group sex.  Of course no Top would mind at all - it only makes the group scene all the hotter.  I can't imagine bottoms minding either.

To the "don't pull out" issue, would you mind so much if the guy rutting in your Hole pulled out and kneeled to increase the pleasure by eating it - tonguing it - savoring your Hole - before Breeding it?  Since you're describing a "group setting", maybe there's already a load or three up your gut - you wouldn't mind a tongue exploring it, would you?  

I could have been clearer. I should have left off the "in a group setting" part. I was referring specifically to a situation where a top has seemingly paired up with me, but then sees another bottom he'd rather have fun with and ditches me - in other words, I didn't get what I was going to get. No one, top or bottom, wants to be ditched because someone "better" comes along. 

To the "don't pull out" question, I didn't say it wasn't allowed - it's the excessive pulling out and re-entering that I don't enjoy. I've had tops admit they do this to make a bottom fart. I actually had a top do this to me today, but he also pumped 6 loads in me during a longish session so I kept my big fat mouth shut 😂 .

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20 hours ago, bbzh said:

but then sees another bottom he'd rather have fun with and ditches me

Ahhhh .... thanks for the clarification.  Per the above, I think that would be the height of selfishness.  Just because a guy is Topping, it doesn't relieve him of the responsibility to display common good manners.  

 

20 hours ago, bbzh said:

it's the excessive pulling out and re-entering that I don't enjoy.

I know some Tops think their Cocks are battering rams, and that's a matter of disinclination to give a hoot about what the bottom is experiencing - i.e. selfish behavior.  I'm assuming the disinterest in the hammering has been communicated to the Top, and he's aloof to your enjoyment. 

In this kind of situation (and referencing the reply just above this one), and assuming you've communicated your disinterest in that kind of action, maybe you could allow that guy to understand by standing up, turning around and saying (with a smile) something like "You just don't get it, do you Sir ...". 

Walk away and find a more caring man with a more experienced Cock.  It takes two men (or more) to make it a good scene, not just one.  

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