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Have you ever been raped?


Edinjo62

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8 hours ago, PendragonSpirit said:

Anyway, as I said. I still jerk off thinking about what probably happened that night, so I don't know if I really count it as a rape in my book. But hey, I'm not a lawyer.

Dude. You were raped. 100%, for sure. You cannot legally give consent when you're blackout drunk. Whether that was planned by the others or not, you were blacked out and they fucked you while you were unconscious.  Note I'm not a lawyer either, but....this is very cut and dried.

That's rape.  The fantasy of rape (women sometimes call it 'ravishment') is far different than the reality.

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Let’s dispense with this idea that a rape ceases to be a rape if the victim fantasizes about it or even masturbates to the thought of it after the fact. How a victim reacts to an assault, what psychological mechanisms he develops to enable him to cope with the effects of that assault, does not change the fact that a nonconsensual act was perpetrated on him. He doesn’t consent after-the-fact.

Certainly, it may be confusing to the victim to have experienced the negative effects of the trauma in the moment, and then find that feelings in the aftermath may become mixed with unexpectedly conflicting emotions, given the intimate nature of the violation. But the victim does not forfeit his claim to having been raped simply because something about the experience later excites him sexually. It can be argued that for a person to be sexually excited by thoughts of trauma as a result of having experienced such trauma is nothing less than an ongoing effect of the original trauma.

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On 10/10/2022 at 7:31 PM, PigBoyDallas said:

I’m ashamed to admit it but I’ve been raped twice.

Please don't be ashamed. You can't take responsibility for the action of others, and in any random sexual situation it's hard to predict what will happen or how it will end up. I'd try to chalk it up to life experience and not let it bother you, it isn't a reflection of who you are, it is a reflection of who they are.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I was force fucked once in my early 20's. Met a guy off manhunt with the name jail119. He was big, tall and scruffy and had a thick cock, handsome too, my kind of guy. Said his roommate was gone for the weekend so i went over. Was a full house to himself. We got naked and fooled around. Started to 69 and while I was sucking his cock he started eating my ass, then it started getting a bit rough. It kept getting rougher until I started feeling pain. Asked him to be more gentle and he said he would but he didn't. Had my waist locked in his arms so I couldn't get off of him. Told him it was hurting a lot and he needed to stop. I tried to put my hand in the way of his mouth but he let my waist go and quickly grabbed my arm pinning it down with the rest of my body. I stupidly tried to use my other arm but he quickly locked it down. This guy was literally munching on my asshole and I could smell blood. I had tears in my eyes and was begging him at this point. He rolled me over so I was pinned under him on the bed, I couldn't breath and was gasping for air. He got up off of me and I was just dazed for a moment (a moment too long) then he proceeded to pin my arms behind my back and shoved his cock in me. It fucking burned and the 5 minutes it took him to cum felt like forever. He got off me, said my ass was the tightest he'd fucked in a long time. I threw my cloths on and hightailed it out of there. It's weird cause I get horny thinking about it now but it was a fucked up experience and my hole was cut up and sore for like 2 weeks. It's not the fantasy a lot of guys crack it up to be that's for sure

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13 hours ago, Bbgoodstuff said:

I was force fucked once in my early 20's. Met a guy off manhunt with the name jail119. He was big, tall and scruffy and had a thick cock, handsome too, my kind of guy. Said his roommate was gone for the weekend so i went over. Was a full house to himself. We got naked and fooled around. Started to 69 and while I was sucking his cock he started eating my ass, then it started getting a bit rough. It kept getting rougher until I started feeling pain. Asked him to be more gentle and he said he would but he didn't. Had my waist locked in his arms so I couldn't get off of him. Told him it was hurting a lot and he needed to stop. I tried to put my hand in the way of his mouth but he let my waist go and quickly grabbed my arm pinning it down with the rest of my body. I stupidly tried to use my other arm but he quickly locked it down. This guy was literally munching on my asshole and I could smell blood. I had tears in my eyes and was begging him at this point. He rolled me over so I was pinned under him on the bed, I couldn't breath and was gasping for air. He got up off of me and I was just dazed for a moment (a moment too long) then he proceeded to pin my arms behind my back and shoved his cock in me. It fucking burned and the 5 minutes it took him to cum felt like forever. He got off me, said my ass was the tightest he'd fucked in a long time. I threw my cloths on and hightailed it out of there. It's weird cause I get horny thinking about it now but it was a fucked up experience and my hole was cut up and sore for like 2 weeks. It's not the fantasy a lot of guys crack it up to be that's for sure

Fuck I’m pretty sure how I’d be, turned on but also thinking I shouldn’t be turned on

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On 1/6/2022 at 7:39 PM, gingerdaddyG said:

Don’t know if it was technically rape as I was there for sex in the first place.

Granted, I realise this post is a bit odd, but want to clarify this one.  What happened to you was rape, plain and simple.  The fact that you went over for sex doesn't negate the fact that you were penetrated without your consent - the understanding is that you would top, and prepared yourself accordingly.  You said "no", and violating that is violating your consent; textbook definition here.

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About 5 years ago, my partner was out of town and I was at a local gay bar one Friday night. I ran into a guy I’d hooked up with twice before and got into a good conversation about a movie that had just come out. Ended up having too much to drive. 
His apartment was in walking distance and he invited me back to watch the movie and sober up. I made it clear I was not looking to fuck that night because he was a very aggressive top bear with a huge (long and very thick) cock and it wasn’t always fun when he’d take control. He said that was fine.

We watched the movie and I did take my jeans off so we were both in t-shirts and boxer briefs. I drifted off and woke in the early morning to him spooning me from behind, feeling well rested and generally great. I put on my jeans and left and texted him that I had to go get ready for work.

A few weeks later I saw him again but he seemed like he was trying to avoid me. I asked what was up and he said he was worried I was pissed off at him for last time.

I asked what should I be pissed off about and he said because he fucked me multiple times while I was over at his place and apologized saying he couldn’t help himself.

I did not believe him, remembering I woke up feeling great and did not feel like I’d been fucked, and with his cock I was pretty sure I would have remembered.

He pulled out his phone and showed me pics and video of him fucking me, the tshirt I was wearing that night was the same and I saw the pair of boxer briefs I was wearing on the floor in one of the pictures. I got hard, but I was also confused as hell. It did not look like a gentle fuck in the two video clips he had, so I have no idea how I wasn’t feeling it in the morning.

For some context, I know this guy is on the spectrum and already felt like he has some issues with impulse control and emotional regulation from past experience. I also know he felt remorse for it. Sleep rape is something I had jerked off fantasizing about, but never really planned to experience.

I took a moment to think and figured I did not feel violated or even angry, I was not injured and TBH I probably would have consented if he’d woken me up. I told him he is lucky AF that this lined up with my own kinks, because he just showed me evidence that could have put him in jail if that wasn’t the case.

I still have no idea how I walked out of there that morning with no clue I’d taken multiple loads from a huge cock.

I talked about it with a therapist a while after that. I wondered if something might be wrong with me because I did not feel anger, trauma or shame when someone admitted to raping me. If you’re wondering, he did suggest that there being no memory of the event itself, especially memories of helplessness or pain, in addition to the weeks before I learned about it and the fact it had been a sexual fantasy helped me process the whole thing like it was abstract, and that I’m probably fine if I’m not experiencing PTSD (He asked some questions to determine that too). I guess I should be happy about that, but I still think it’s odd.

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I was raped twice by the same guy when I was an experienced guy (anal), and numerous other events.

1) I had never smoked weed before and he kind of made me do it. Next thing I know I'm having these horrible panic attacks and he jumped on me. I didn't fight back cause the panic attacks stopped. He got stripped me naked and pushed me on his bed. Next thing I know is my ass being rimmed and then his dick rammed into my ass with only spit as lube. He powerfucked me for like 5 minutes. I came handsfree from the shock and the weed. I asked him to stop after I came since it was too sensitive, but he just kept going as I moaned in pain. After a minute or so, I started getting hard again and moaned in pleasure, then came again as he came in my ass.

2) a few years after that event. I was a little more experienced, but I hadn't had an orgasm like the two in my first rape. He fucked me mercilessly, but it was all consensual. We went to bed drunk and high. I woke up a few hours later on my back, him on top of me with his dick in my ass. My ass had never just "let" a dick inside like I so relaxed, my ass didn't need to be worked up to getting fucked. He said: "your ass gives no resistance when you sleep. I could do this every night". I was utterly creeped out, because I wasn't just sleeping, but in a drunk and weed sleep. My dick was hard and whether I liked it or not and his dick in my ass was giving me waves of pleasure. He powerfucked me again until he unloaded in me, and I came so hard that time, I feel like I lost conscious.

 3) non-anal "rape" events - Still with the same guy. He wanted to experiment with a bit of BDSM and rough role play, but we didn't have a safe word. I like domination a lot, but he started to really get abusive. He would use his belt on me and refuse to stop when I screamed and begged him to. He'd look through my phone when I was sleeping and send my nudes to a bunch of other guys he didn't know, just to see if I was fucking them or if they were "competition".

I keep my distance from him now. We live in a different city. I still talk to him once-in-a-while (keep your enemies closer), but I don't meet up with him. Nonetheless, I still think of the hot sex (or rape??) the first 2 events listed above. Now, I'm a little fucked up that I fantasize about the feelings of fear and danger when I hook up with guys, only because I've never had orgasms as intense as my rapes.... It's a little fucked up, I know.

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 My Response here is going to be in 3 parts.

Okay a few things.

1) Say it with me... MEN CAN BE RAPED !

Any time you can provide consent but don't or cannot provide consent because you're unconscious or Intoxicated, (forced or voluntary) ,Physically Forced (Bodily Assaulted using a weapon), the Inducement is Statutory (Prisoners, Underage. Mentally Infirm) or Transactional Inducement (As in using Blackmail, other threats, or using  Finances or An Addiction to force sexual contact) You have been Raped.

2. ) Anyone can be RAPED. 

It doesn't matter if you are A Sex Worker,  An Addict, Under Age, Mentally ill, Promiscuous ( a self described pig/ whore) A prisoner of the state, EVEN PEOPLE IN MOMGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS  OR MARRIED CAN BE RAPED

3) You are Not OBLIGATED TO HAVE SEX 

 If he buys you a drink or takes you out for a meal or a show- you are not obligated to have sex.

You are not obligated to have sex for a roof over your head

You are not obligated to have sex to get other basic needs met

He is Not allowed to manipilate, Coerce or gaslight you into Sex

4) It is not your Fault 

Your choice of clothes/ where you travel/ your level of intoxication/your poor choices/ Being Unconscious Do not give anyone the right to use your body as they please 

5) Abuse of Power to Force Sexual Compl9ance Is Rape

Boss, Cop, Priest, Correction Guard, Commanding Officer... DOES NOT MATTER! Forcing Sexual Compliance through Rank is Rape

6) Kids Cannot CONSENT TO SEX!

7) Arousal During the Act  Or Fantasize about it after, does not In.any way imply Consent

Just because.you Get Hard, Get Wet, Cum,. Moan, Feel Good, Take Pleasure. Liked it once it was over or fantasize about it  now that nits passed, Does not mean you Weren't Raped Natural bodily responses to stimuli of exogenous zones does not imply consent.

8).You can say No! or STOP! at ANY TIME!

Consent is yours to Grant or Rescind! Change your mind once his cock is in you? too bad, No, he doesn't get to "Finish"  He Feels 'Led On" Tough. He does not have the right to violate your bodily autonomy. It doesn't matter if you are in your marital bed, or a piece of meat in a sling at a public gangbang / Bathhouse . 

9) ""Bleu Balls" Is not an excuse.

Come on, Really Guys donI have to point this out?

and lastly

10.)  No Means No. 

Rejected him?  He does not get to put you in any situation where he ""Gets his way"

Bonus Round: 

11) RAPE IS AN ACT OF VIOLENCE Regardless if Violence is used  against you

12) Stealthing Is RAPE

Fantasies and Role play are fun and that is one thing, but passing  "gifts" to an ignorant / unsuspecting partner is a violation of trrust and disgusting deriliction of one's duty of care. to another. It is assault.

13) Previous Consent with a Partner does not mean Continued Consent! 

Just because you Let Steve fuck you on Monday, Doesn't mean he automatically has the right to fuck you on Wednesday and Friday.

14)  TOPS CAN BE RAPED TOO!

This idea that Men can only have possibly been raped if he DIDN'T get hard is STRAIGHT UP BULLSHIT.

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This next part is likely to rub some people the wrong way, but these are Opinions. Please keep in mind that we all have opinions and you have the right to differ in your view.

Keeping all the above in mind, I believe in Personal safety, responsibility and Common Sense 

1) Don't Party and Play and get Upset the next day because you."feel bad '' about your previously consensual activity the night before.

2) Don't Consent thinking you're going to gain something  ( a job. a relationship/ him to leave his partner/ Family, A rise in social status, , a scholarship and  say it was rape when things don't go your way.  While Sex Workers can and Do get Raped,  a sex worker gets their compensation UP FRONT

3) Don't Put yourself in inherently dangerous situations expecting nothing to happen. examples include, 

 Hitchhiking,

Drinking random shit you didn't see poured/ have eye contact with in a crowded bar/ club.

Going home with anyone at "closing time"

Drinking "more than your limit"

Getting so high you lose control.

Being Alone with a Pro Athlete / Entertainer in His hotel room at 3 in the morning. 

-------------‐-----------

And finally,

I was raped. 

I was systematically raped from my earliest childhood until well into my teens.

My abuse began with my own Father and progressed to my "Godparents",  some cousins and people that I, as a child, was told I could trust like police officers, doctors, teachers and members of the clergy.

Some Assaults were violent and traumatic nightmare fuel,  others were accomplished through grooming, and manipulation.

 I wasn't always taken violently.  Some offenses were sweet and done with "love". Some offenses were accomplished through the sex trade.I have experienced Rape as Stripper/ Gogo Boy.  I have been Raped as an "Escort" Some Assaults happened as a result of Blackmail.

I was set upon when I did not have maturity or agency. When I was older and was flexing my limited agency I may have sought certain outcomes. That I was taken up on them when under the age of consent is unfortunate, and regardless of how I feel about those encounters, they too are actual rape.

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  • 1 year later...

I have 5 times, one of them when I was 20 by a masseur I met thru Craigslist, I had a severe shoulder and neck pain, so I went to Craigslist looking for a masseur nearby ( I should have gone to a regular massage & spa), so I replied to quite few posts, one of them responded within 30 minutes, I explained to him why I want a massage etc..., and asked him for photos of him and his place, he sent me some pictures of his cozy apartment and the massage table, I also sent him a photo of myself, he then told me it's Free, I informed him beforehand that our session will not involve sex or whatsoever. 

I went to his place, and he greeted me with a smile, he was shirtless and wearing a long white pant, he asked me to undress and lay down on the table, we both got undressed and I covered my butt with a towel, he poured the warm oil all over my back and legs, he gave my a nice massage for about 40 minutes, and then suddenly started fingering me, I pushed his hand gently and said that's enough, I am pleased and want to go home, he replied and said " but I am not done yet, I know you want it", I kinda got scared, and afraid if I resist he would hurt me, he pulled my legs down and bent me over the table and fucked me aggressively in that position. It was one of the few times that I have been fucked against my well. 

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I've been raped. I don't really talk about it very much. The one rape I've only ever told two people what happened. I'll  talk about what led up to it and the aftermath, but I don't talk about the actual rape.

 

The other rapes I don't talk about at all, ever. Like I told my therapist Monday, talking about it gives it power. If I don't talk about it I can try to pretend that it didn't happen. But talking about the rapes gives them form, gives them power, makes them real.

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13 minutes ago, JessicaDiamond said:

I've been raped. I don't really talk about it very much. The one rape I've only ever told two people what happened. I'll  talk about what led up to it and the aftermath, but I don't talk about the actual rape.

 

The other rapes I don't talk about at all, ever. Like I told my therapist Monday, talking about it gives it power. If I don't talk about it I can try to pretend that it didn't happen. But talking about the rapes gives them form, gives them power, makes them real.

Sorry you went through that.  Nobody deserves that.  You're a good person.  I wish you the best healing possible.

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