What are your boundaries for who you’d hook up with?

[Breedingandseeding]

I’m curious what people you can consider “off limits” or that you wouldn’t hook up with for some sort of moral/psychological reason (excluding obvious taboos like under age).

Some context for my question: I was recently watching an amateur gloryhole porn video and in the description the bottom mentions that he accidentally double booked 2 guys around the same time and so he sucked them off at his gloryhole alternating between them.

One of the commenters on the video mentioned that he hated when bottoms double book a gloryhole session because one time he arrived and saw a guy already getting blown at the gloryhole and when the guy turned around he recognized him as a coworker. Commenter said that that made him feel uncomfortable that he would have to run into this guy at work.

the way I see it though is that what is there to be ashamed of  or awkward about it if you both know you like getting sucked off at gloryholes? If anything it could have been a bonding moment to appreciate face fucking a load into the same cocksucker’s throat. If you would be attracted to the guy if he wasn’t your coworker then why does him being a coworker have to make things awkward?

anyways it got me curious about what your boundaries are for people you’d avoid hooking up with even if there was mutual attraction (I.e are close friends/friend’s partners/exes/ adult relatives/etc  off the table)

Hell, I’ve even seen many profiles on Grindr say they won’t hook up with guys in open relationships which I always found hilarious because they’re apparently fine with fucking married DL guys or fucking around with a ton of guys every week but open relationships is what concerns them?

[gingerdaddyG]

I used to be worried about going to the sauna or out cruising or hitting the nudist beach and bumping into someone I knew, but clearly if I did then we’d have something else in common, so why worry?  It has taken me a while to reach that conclusion-perhaps that’s what happens when you get a bit older and don’t give a shit about what people think about you anymore. 
Don’t think I’ve got any boundaries - as long as everyone involved is comfortable and enjoying it, go for it! 

[tallslenderguy]

i think this is a great topic for discussion!! Thanks for posting it Breedingandseeding. 

Pretty much my only boundary is the person has to be "Top," or in top mode/state of being if versatile.  i don't want mechanical sex, i want to connect with the person, even in a hook up situation. i look for a symbiosis of connection, fulfilling mutual need/desire, and i'm not sure i could separate that from the sex. Anything else to me would just be masturabation, solo self manipulation. 

If a versatile guy contacts me and says he wants to get together, that always requires discussion and a vetting process on my part.  If i get any sense at all that he is not in full on top mode, just needing/wanting to penetrate another guy, without need of being penetrated, then i politely refuse.  Even when i am with a versatile guy who just penetrates me, i sometimes get the feeling he is not satisfied or fulfilled, and i hate when a man i am with is disappointed. I'd rather go without than have sex with a man where he is left unfulfilled or disappointed.  i've even gone as far as trying to find him a better match than me, so he can get what he really needs/wants. 

i won't 'role play' either. For me, that is pretending, for one to be something they are not. Who an how i am is real to me, not role play.  i HATE quid pro quo when it comes to sex. To me, that demeans and denies the power and realness of who and what we are and the connection and bond that can be had. If there is a 'sin against nature,' to me, that would be it lol.

Again, this is all just me, i'm not making universal rules for everyone, this is just how i am wired.  A Man's lust/need to penetrate, inseminate, impregnate Himself into a receptive male is key to opening me to all of those parts in Him, whether it is in ltr or bending over anonymously in a dark room.

[hntnhole]

9 hours ago, Breedingandseeding said:

curious about what your boundaries are for people you’d avoid hooking up with

I tend to approach the issue from a different perspective, in that I consider any guy needing Sperm pumped up his Hole as a potential Breeding partner.  It's when some negative factor becomes apparent that I move on to the next guy.  Those would be particularly effeminate guys, particularly heavy guys, incomplete "prepping", or an attitude that's off-putting.  I know a lot of guys like fem boys - it's just that I'm not one of them; they remind me of rg's, which I definitely avoid.  I know a lot of guys like heavy guys, but I want to get all the way into the Hole without fighting endless plates of alfredo to get there.  And, sometimes guys just reflect an attitude that I don't gravitate to.  That said, I don't criticize or judge other guys, I just say something innocuous if addressed, and move on.  

[hntnhole]

6 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

quid pro quo

Can you expand on that phrase a bit?  I know what it means, but in what sense are you using that particular phrase .......

[tallslenderguy]

10 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Can you expand on that phrase a bit?  I know what it means, but in what sense are you using that particular phrase .......

To me, it too easily becomes a compromise term with sex: "I'll suck your cock if you suck mine," or fill in the blank.

i'm a bottom first, and a cocksucker also. if a Man needs/wants to breed or have His cock sucked, we're a good match. Each of us gets what we need/want. If a guy comes to me and says: "i'll breed you if you let me suck your cock."  He's not even seen me (i don't have a "cock," ).  i want/need to be bred by someone who wants/needs to breed, to penetrate, not as part of some compromise. His breeding is a connection, then his sucking me is undoing that connection, bond (for me, us)  

i do not think quid pro quo is sustainable. i think one, or both really, end up feeling what is missing and/or the begin to feel and resent their compromise, or paying an unnatural price to get what they are looking for.

If all he really wanted/needed was to suck cock, he had the wrong person in me, because i am not a "cock."   Trying to negotiate a person into being something they are not is just delusion to me. It has a semblance without essence. It's pretentending. 

Hope i am making sense?

[DarkroomTaker]

Bad breath, not smokers breath, but bad bad cabbage breath.. puts me off, oh and a shitty ass.

[fskn]

13 hours ago, Breedingandseeding said:

Hell, I’ve even seen many profiles on Grindr say they won’t hook up with guys in open relationships which I always found hilarious because they’re apparently fine with fucking married DL guys or fucking around with a ton of guys every week but open relationships is what concerns them?

So true. As if his ass can tell whether it's getting fucked by single or partnered dick (or vice versa), anyway!

13 hours ago, gingerdaddyG said:

I used to be worried about [...] bumping into someone I knew, but clearly if I did then we’d have something else in common, so why worry?  It has taken me a while to reach that conclusion-perhaps that’s what happens when you get a bit older and don’t give a shit about what people think about you anymore.

Well said!

As for my own ethical limits, I'm staying friends-only with a bisexual neighbor whose wife I also know.

The other night someone I'd met long ago through volunteer work popped up on Grindr. He left the organization where I volunteer a few years ago, and he's fucking hot — professional by day but by night, "cholo" with tattoos, piercings and attitude. It's the apparent tension between those elements of his nature that turns me on. I decided to say hi as it didn't seem like an ethical breach after several years. (He didn't reply.)

I avoid a friend I care for a lot and have had sex with in the past, because he has revealed deep-seated neediness that I can't fulfill. He believes that having a husband on his arm will enhance his career (his peers bring spouses to the receptions and dinners that are frequent in his field of work) and resolve all of his problems. I'm in an open relationship, enjoyed sex with this friend (fucker has a huge dick, speaks in southern drawl, and we're both dominant tops who like edgy scenarios, so finding a submissive bottom to use together would be incredibly hot), but I can never be the husband he thinks he needs. I want him to go out and meet other guys rather than fall back on something that is familiar but will fall short of his wishes. I'll resume playing with him the moment he lets me know he's found a boyfriend.

Friends' partners are fun to fuck and I have no qualms about that, even if the partner believes he's in a monogamous relationship. (Hint: Virtually all gay men fuck around, but now that heteronormative gay relationships are valued by naïve gay men and by well-meaning straight people, pretending to be monogamous may be necessary for snagging a husband who is perceived to be of good quality. Couples who are actually monogamous and who are that way as a matter of free choice are great; I'm not talking about them.)

I went for a walk with a local couple one evening. They are so devoted to each other, but somehow, my hand was down the bottom's pants, feeling up his bare ass several times during our walk. Hubby was a few paces ahead so he couldn't see. Somehow, the bottom arrived at work late the next morning, my load deep inside his cheating ass after he'd stopped by my place on the way to the office. The following Sunday, I visited their place, and somehow the bottom got another load of mine in the living room. We kept quiet to make sure that hubby, who was sleeping in, would get his rest.

When an ethical dilemma like whether to fuck a guy who is in a officially monogamous relationship presents itself, better it be me than some completely random stranger, because I am a reliable PrEP user and get STI tests every month, sharply reducing (but of course not eliminating) risk.

Edited March 12, 2022 by fskn

[subbottomguy]

Some things can turn me off, guy’s with bad breath or a lot of smegma (little is ok). If you can’t find your cock then probably won’t work out either.

I don’t have much else I have issue with, race/age/disability all don’t bother me just need to think more laterally for some disabilities to give them what they want ;).

also drugs, I am really not a big fan of them, I don’t mind a guy taking some but if your off your head it turns me off big time

Edited March 12, 2022 by subbottomguy

[downtownswallow]

There was a very attractive man who was always getting hit on by men new to the gay scene.  He'd take them to his place and break them in.  It was eventually learned that he was covertly passing his HIV on to men without telling them his status.  That immediately made him very unattractive in my eyes.  I also find as turnoffs:  scat, pissing on/in me, spitting in my face or mouth, wanting to involve animals or men of a questionable age (too young), insisting I ingest "something" he says will make me feel good and wanting to fuck me with the goal of hurting me for his own pleasure.

Edited March 12, 2022 by downtownswallow

[hntnhole]

17 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Hope i am making sense?

Of course.  I didn't make the qpq = "if I do this, I want you to do that" thing.  Makes perfect sense now.  Maybe I was just out too late ..... thanks. 

[hntnhole]

16 hours ago, fskn said:

When an ethical dilemma like whether to fuck a guy who is in a officially monogamous relationship presents itself, better it be me than some completely random stranger, because I am a reliable PrEP user and get STI tests every month, sharply reducing (but of course not eliminating) risk.

Of course, ethically it's perhaps "better" that a responsible Cock fucked and bred your neighbor's "cheating ass".  I wonder though, if there wasn't a liiiiittle tiiiiiiny bit of your own Lust in the mix as well.  For my part, I probably wouldn't have thought about the "ethicality" (is that even a real word?), I would have just fucked it at my earliest opportunity. 

Ethics are great, but Lust is what drives us to feel up the bottom-half of a devoted, "officially monogamous" couple up the street.  It's reason enough.  I hope you do it again soon, if you haven't already ... 

It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

[fskn]

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

I wonder though, if there wasn't a liiiiittle tiiiiiiny bit of your own Lust in the mix as well.

Spot-on! That part of my post was partly tongue-in-cheek. 😂

You probably also guessed that I had added "officially" to "monogamous relationship" for extra effect, but missed changing "a" to "an".

[Guest]

i have no desire to mix sex with friendship or work relationships. That's because when i have sex i want to be used because of my body and my cunt. No complications. So if a workmate sees me in a backroom and sticks it in me that's fine, but i don't want to chat to him. It's never happened, so far as a i know, but i could be wrong. Although i have had sex with an ex, more than once. Disappointing and better avoided.

[chargedodger]

Been thinking about this question for a while.Who I will play with depends on so may factors from what my state of horniness is to am I buzzed,at the baths or in a video booth....but thats just me.So many types of men turn my head in public....from cute young guys to older daddy types.But  all of them are potential sex partners if we are naked.Seeing a man like that really gets me going and awakens my inner slut.That said overuse of drugs and or alcohol is a turn off,as is abuse of others in a violent manner.Make love not war.:)