Five Guys who Fuck and Who Don’t

[hntnhole]

On 6/11/2022 at 10:32 PM, BlackDude said:

Some of these guys have been hanging with the girls so long, they pick up their dating habits

This reminds me of one of my buddies from a few years ago.  He was the "baby" of the family, with 4 older sisters.  Time and time and time again, he'd get a new bf, and then turn into one of his sisters !!!  I had met 3 of these sisters, and it was painfully obvious that he learned how to be in a relationship from watching his sisters deal with their various boyfriends. Nine out of ten gay men will put up with that crap for about one minute !!! 

I tried to explain it - help him - but every damn time he reverted to acting like the 5th youngest sister. 

[NWUSHorny]

On 6/13/2022 at 10:17 AM, BlackDude said:

Interesting perspective as a bottom. I was more think of guys who are able to fuck but won’t. But I guess as a bottom The reasons don’t matter!

 

I'm versatile, soI wasn't interpreting this as applying exclusively topping. By my definition, a guy with ED can still fuck by getting fucked.

[NWUSHorny]

I had an interesting observation, from a Cumunion party last night. It was the 1st one at Steam. Guys were actually fucking each other and ignoring the guys that were just there to pose. One of the regular posers, always very tan, manscaped, wears his towel almost like a chastity device but usually appears to be sporting a hard on, also older and heavier than the average guy at this club, and never has sex. He must have been feeling the lack of attention for just standing around looking arrogant for a change. While I was fucking a guy in the sling they have in an open play area, he grabbed one of the hotter twinks that was watching. Arrogant poser looked extremely uncomfortable during the entire encounter, but the twink did get him to remove his towel, trade some brief sucking before the twink bent over and got arrogant poser to fuck him, it lasted at most 2 minutes and I'm sure arrogant poser did not cum before they stopped. I'm pretty sure it was the twink who stopped it. I'm also almost certain that the entire motive for arrogant poser to initiate sex in a crowded orgy space was to try to get guys to pay attention to him, so he could keep stringing them along to satisfy his ego, not because he needed to satisfy a sexual need. I happen to know the hot twink he chose is a good fuck and versatile.

Edited June 17, 2022 by NWUSHorny

[VersatileBreeder]

Here’s another. 
 

The Right Here, Right Now guy. Only ever has time to fuck when it’s right that instant and he never has more than an hour from the time you make contact. He is always hosting, and can usually host only right then and there because he lives with a roommate or family. Or because his life is always on the go. He expects that you will be there in 10 minutes, even though you live 20 minutes away and need a few minutes to get ready. He definitely can’t meet later and can never plan out a day or time in advance. The fact that you are physically unable to just *poof* magically appear in his home at that very moment is inconvenient for him. The world is expected to run on his schedule, because no one else has a life but him. 
 

Did I miss anything?

[LetsPOZBreed]

On 8/6/2022 at 6:58 AM, poptronic said:

Did I miss anything?

Not at all.  I've encountered these guys before as well.  If said guy is a top, then it's difficult for me...I don't like to go through all the preparation for bottoming unless I know I'm getting fucked in advance (or if I'm heading to the cruise spots).  

[wyobtmbnk]

On 8/5/2022 at 11:58 PM, poptronic said:

Here’s another. 
 

The Right Here, Right Now guy. Only ever has time to fuck when it’s right that instant and he never has more than an hour from the time you make contact. He is always hosting, and can usually host only right then and there because he lives with a roommate or family. Or because his life is always on the go. He expects that you will be there in 10 minutes, even though you live 20 minutes away and need a few minutes to get ready. He definitely can’t meet later and can never plan out a day or time in advance. The fact that you are physically unable to just *poof* magically appear in his home at that very moment is inconvenient for him. The world is expected to run on his schedule, because no one else has a life but him. 
 

Did I miss anything?

Not that I can think of at the moment…..happens regularly here.

[bbinbpark]

On 8/6/2022 at 12:58 AM, poptronic said:

Here’s another. 
 

The Right Here, Right Now guy. Only ever has time to fuck when it’s right that instant and he never has more than an hour from the time you make contact. He is always hosting, and can usually host only right then and there because he lives with a roommate or family. Or because his life is always on the go. He expects that you will be there in 10 minutes, even though you live 20 minutes away and need a few minutes to get ready. He definitely can’t meet later and can never plan out a day or time in advance. The fact that you are physically unable to just *poof* magically appear in his home at that very moment is inconvenient for him. The world is expected to run on his schedule, because no one else has a life but him. 
 

Did I miss anything?

That's the one I have a problem with. My favorite is when I message them at a different time to see if they're free, they respond a week later as though I just messaged them. None of us want to stare at the screen all day, but really, a week later?

[ErosWired]

On 8/6/2022 at 12:58 AM, poptronic said:

Did I miss anything?

Yes. If you don’t respond to his next text three seconds sooner than the laws of physics actually allow, you’re automatically an asshole who’s fucking rude and blowing him off.

[ErosWired]

On 6/10/2022 at 2:10 PM, NWUSHorny said:

How many years did it take for you to participate? I've been watching some of the same guys for 15 years at the local bathhouse. There are a couple of them I've never even seen touch anyone else.

There are some people who are simply voyeurs. It’s not that they have an alternative idea of what constitutes sex - they just like to watch. There’s some recent research into sociosexuality (willingness to engage in non-commital sexual activity) as a predictor of voyeuristic and exhibitionistic behavior, which notes a positive correlation between sociosexuality and these behaviors, more notably among men (go figure).

Given this, and given that sex clubs, bathhouses, and other places of communal sexual opportunity are by their nature going to attract sociosexual individuals in much greater numbers than those who are not, it is to be expected, then, that a higher proportion of non-participant voyeurs and exhibitionists would appear as well, as a subset of sociosexual individuals.

It’s worth noting, by the way, that both voyeurism and exhibitionism, when they reach the level of being diagnosed as paraphilia disorders, share a diagnostic criteria that the person is not actually interested in having sex with the people they’re watching/displaying to. It’s not just that they’re perversely deciding to hold out - the not having sex is a feature.

Here’s the study, if anyone is interested. A bit technical, but interesting:

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8275528/

Also interesting, by the way, are some recent studies demonstrating that people can identify sociosexual men by their facial features, with accuracy significantly greater than chance. So there may actually be something to it when a guy says he can “just tell” when another guy is an easy fuck.

[NWUSHorny]

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

It’s not just that they’re perversely deciding to hold out - the not having sex is a feature.

I would strongly agree with that statement. I don't think it is necessarily just a form of voyeurism, as evidenced by the easiest way to clear out the public play spaces in the sex clubs here is to start fucking with another guy. At the very least they greatly prefer voyeuring the premating issue up to light foreplay and are repulsed by the sex act itself. That voyeuristic repulsion however could explain some of the extreme and risky measures the exhibitionists go to like this

or in the sex clubs, insisting on fucking in the middle of aisles/walkways. It had not occurred to me that this might be a reason many tops won't even let the bottom move far enough that the bottom can brace themselves against a wall or bottoms that won't take that opportunity to go somewhere more comfortable or even lean against the wall to get fucked when I suggest it as a top. They are exhibitionists and physically blocking traffic or risking arrest with your sex act are really the only ways to get the voyeurs pay attention to an actual fuck. I'm guessing for a lot of exhibitionists being watched cruising and having foreplay simply doesn't do it for them necessitating the extreme behavior.

I also think this is a component of what I would label as anti-sexual behavior as well.

I think there are definitely gay and bi men who get their sexual enjoyment primarily from preventing other men from hooking up for casual sex. There is simply no other explanation for some of that behavior.

 

[BlackDude]

12 hours ago, bbinbpark said:

That's the one I have a problem with. My favorite is when I message them at a different time to see if they're free, they respond a week later as though I just messaged them. None of us want to stare at the screen all day, but really, a week later?

This is why you never make a nurse a fuck buddy. Their job is the ultimate excuse and they can never coordinate unless it’s on their time. There forever working yet somehow on Grindr perpetually. 

[chipygmalion80]

Internet socializing is the pits.  It's not specific to hookup/dating apps.  Look at FB or Reddit or pick-your-app.  Generally people at their worst.  At least at the baths or bar, the human factor re-enters the equation.  Not to say there aren't poop for peeps in a bar/bath but you can more easily spot them because ... you can SEE them.  🙂

[Naruto]

14 hours ago, ErosWired said:

 

Also interesting, by the way, are some recent studies demonstrating that people can identify sociosexual men by their facial features, with accuracy significantly greater than chance. So there may actually be something to it when a guy says he can “just tell” when another guy is an easy fuck.

What were the findings? 

[NWUSHorny]

36 minutes ago, Interceptor said:

14 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Also interesting, by the way, are some recent studies demonstrating that people can identify sociosexual men by their facial features, with accuracy significantly greater than chance. So there may actually be something to it when a guy says he can “just tell” when another guy is an easy fuck.

What were the findings? 

I wish I had the ability to look at someone and tell, so I'd love to know what those facial features are.

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, Interceptor said:

What were the findings? 

There are multiple related studies out there on this, and I was only reviewing the abstracts on most of them, which were frustratingly short on detail about exactly what male features seem to signal sociosexuality. Most of them simply expressed that masculine facial structures appeared to be key. More detail may be available in the full texts if you have access to them. A Google search on “sociosexuality men’s faces” should pull up several links. Here’s one full-text study; not a lot of specific detail, but there are figures:

[think before following links] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/259456248_Men's_but_not_Women's_Sociosexual_Orientation_Predicts_Couples'_Perceptions_of_Sexually_Dimorphic_Cues_in_Own-Sex_Faces