Tired of phonies

[Bottom Jim]

I have found a lot of good tops and they have cum in my ass. What I am tired of is phonies

i have a found an increasing number of guys who say they want to fuck but never go through with it. I don’t understand why you would agree and then never show up. 
 

I also have found a number of guys who always want to use a condom. When I say bareback I assume a guy is going to stick his raw dick in my ass and come in me. If that is not your thing fine but don’t agree to it

any advice

[Ieatcumholes]

3 hours ago, Bottom Jim said:

i have a found an increasing number of guys who say they want to fuck but never go through with it. I don’t understand why you would agree and then never show up.

I think some guys are just in it for the thrill of the chase and/or fantasy/jo material.

3 hours ago, Bottom Jim said:

I also have found a number of guys who always want to use a condom. When I say bareback I assume a guy is going to stick his raw dick in my ass and come in me. If that is not your thing fine but don’t agree to it

I also don't understand that one. I have occasionally run across guys even on bareback sites who insist on condoms. I pass them by.

Whenever a guy flakes out on me, I look at it as HE lost out, not me. There's always another bottom to replace that one. Had a great time with this one bottom and thought we both had a good time with the other, but didn't hear back from him. So I reached out to him, we set something up and he canceled. Rinse. Repeat. Twice. Won't be reaching out to him again. He at least canceled, albeit three times. When they don't show up and then drop off the face of the earth, I might send a "Wha' happen?" message. More often than not I don't get a response. Next!

You can't change other people. Maybe take a glass half-full approach and focus on those who do come through (and in!)?

[VersGuyAnon]

I think over time it's fairly easy to judge if someone is stringing you along. These days I go by gut feeling. I'm very conscious of not swapping too many messages when I'm interested in someone/something, in case they think I'm one of those time wasters. On sites where it's possible to do so, I make a note to avoid them in future. 

[rexTO]

If someone wants to use a condom, I say fine but I keep the used condom. Then when they leave I finger the load into my ass

[Bwccummer]

Best to try to sort out those that are phonies or flakes. Seems many not read profiles so could have one chat that is a top same as you. Or if both bottom that not work either. 

I had one wanted me to travel work host over 40 miles away when I not have easy travel ability. 

I am bothered by some just want pictures or waste time in when neither can host that they ask for pictures. I realize some may need a photo or two to see one is serious and ready to meet. However, seems too many just want a picture or two for satisfaction. I don't understand except maybe need jerk off material or some weird idea of safe sex. Maybe not want to be fucked but fantasy about. Again I don't understand for feel if need to jerk off to get a magazine, read online or view, see video online or play on a video player. Just not get just want pictures when can have a real cock or ass to fuck.

 

I figure not serious or real.

 

[hntnhole]

19 hours ago, Bottom Jim said:

I also have found a number of guys who always want to use a condom. When I say bareback I assume a guy is going to stick his raw dick in my ass and come in me. If that is not your thing fine but don’t agree to it

any advice

Assume nothing.  Specify exactly what's going to make your ass sweat.  And don't bother with the damn apps - they're full of dreamers, unreliable blabbering wannabee's.  Get your hot Hole to the backrooms, fuckjoints, shuck down your jeans and get down to business.  

Good luck, bud 

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I take any talk online with a grain of salt. As @Ieatcumholesssaid so well, many are in it for the thrill of the chase. It used to bug me, but it did help me to eventually step out into the real world. Baby steps to start with though. I usually have much better luck meeting naturally in the real world. If they are comfortable with talking to me face-to-face, we have a greater chance of getting cock-to-ass.

[Guest]

Maybe they just chicken out, you gotta take it easy on them, especially if you hook up for the first time, because at the end everyone loves CUM. For me, it's kinda the opposite, the say "play safe" and then when fucking gets intense they ask to go bareback! 

 

[DLMarried]

I have found over the years that I have about a 10% hook up rate. The other 90% are just there to for their thrill. On line hook ups are only a small percentage of my hook ups. 
I mostly go to the action instead hooking up line but there are times like now (with MP) that on line hook ups are the only options. 

[Guest]

That's why I always "double book" when possible. Then it's a bonus if two show up at the same time. And I don't really care about their thoughts on that.

 

[Guest]

Ghosting has always been a problem online. Worse since Covid too. There’s ways to test if they’re real and serious, like getting them to send you a pic of them “right now” with something to prove it was now…like a clock showing the time or specific gesture. Or see if they will provide their phone number and send them a message like “hey. Text me when you arrive” to see if they respond. Most times if they won’t verify you shouldn’t trust they’re serious.

 

concerning Bb… just agree up front what you expect. “No condom fine?” Be direct and make sure you’re both on the same page beforehand so you’re not disappointed. The comment above about keeping the condom (if used) and pushing the cum it in later is a solution too!

[Guest]

I am 40 and one of the things I miss about my 20s and 30s were the days before the apps. Back then we had organized BB groups, BB events, BB sites just for men who are interested in the lifestyle. Back then it was easier navigating the hookup space because there were so few men who were out and honest about their BB that we were determined to find partners who are into BB. I miss those days when I knew there were a couple of monthly BB parties I can attend and the baths were available.

I do agree with you that there a lot of fakes online wasting time. I strongly feel a lot of guys log on the apps with a semi interest in hooking up but want someone to convince them or they log online talking to multiple guys and looking for the “best one”. Meanwhile there are guys who just want to fuck and don’t  understand what’s so complicated.

My advice to you is to be explicitly clear in your profile what you’re looking for and what you want. I am unsure where you live but research if there are any BB groups or events to attend.

 

[TightBott7]

Maybe there should be an App for guys who really want to hook up with stricter requirements, for example, if a member does not hook up at least one time over a period of time, the account would be suspended. This set up might diminish the number of people who just get off with no intention of ever hooking up. I would join.

[Bottom Jim]

I had a guy once who said he would right over. 
that was 3 years ago. He must have gotten lost LOL

[NWUSHorny]

2 hours ago, TightBott7 said:

Maybe there should be an App for guys who really want to hook up with stricter requirements, for example, if a member does not hook up at least one time over a period of time, the account would be suspended. This set up might diminish the number of people who just get off with no intention of ever hooking up. I would join.

I've often thought sex clubs should make this a rule as well.