What are the actual definitions of gay top, bottom and versatile?

[BlindRawFucker1]

If you don’t do anything anal or oral, do you at least jerk off if a “side?”

 

It sounds to me, that being a “side”, could be getting close to being asexual.

 

Am I missing something?

[NWUSHorny]

38 minutes ago, BlindRawFucker1 said:

It sounds to me, that being a “side”, could be getting close to being asexual.

I can't find the article at the moment, but the psychologist who started promoting "side" as a gay sexual position did so because he thought the term asexual was offensive.

Personally I can't comprehend not wanting my cock stimulated and cumming often, but I've learned that there are a lot of "sides" that don't want to include touching each other's cocks when they play (talking to guys at my local bathhouses), as well as total anal bottoms that don't want to have their cocks touched or to cum (here on Breeding Zone). I've learned a lot in my sexual frustrations over the last couple years, when I was traveling several weeks out of the month and could meet my needs in other cities I really didn't care that much why no one was fucking here in "no fuck land".

[BlackDude]

21 hours ago, hntnhole said:

It seems that a lot of guys have gradually altered what used to be fairly clear definitions:

1.  "Top" means (or used to) a guy who will only fuck.  Active only, nothing passive.

2.  "bottom" means (or used to) mean a guy who will only get fucked.  Passive only, noting active.  

3.  "Verse" means (or used to) a guy that potentially will both Top and/or bottom, depending on the scene.  

When the above turns into an alphabet soup, the meanings are rendered moot. 

Point:  Less talk, more Breeding.  Less endless time-wasting on the cruise apps, go to where the pigs are, shuck your jeans and jump in.  

I like this. Words have to have meanings. I think too often, gays use terms loosely intentionally, or we just flat out allow people to lie. We make exceptions the rule. 

 

It leads to confusion and ultimately sexual frustration. 

[FunCheerSlut]

21 hours ago, hntnhole said:

It seems that a lot of guys have gradually altered what used to be fairly clear definitions:

1.  "Top" means (or used to) a guy who will only fuck.  Active only, nothing passive.

2.  "bottom" means (or used to) mean a guy who will only get fucked.  Passive only, noting active.  

3.  "Verse" means (or used to) a guy that potentially will both Top and/or bottom, depending on the scene.  

When the above turns into an alphabet soup, the meanings are rendered moot. 

Point:  Less talk, more Breeding.  Less endless time-wasting on the cruise apps, go to where the pigs are, shuck your jeans and jump in.  

There is no mention of cock sucking - which I find extremely relevant. I wish those that are not interested in penetration [for whatever the reason] would have the courage or confidence to just say so (thank you to whomever came up with a "label" for these men to use = SIDES) . It would help the sorting process that we all naturally go through when looking for someone to connect with.

The above descriptions refer to penetration. I think that is germane to this discussion. You either want to be penetrated or you don't, or in what I find to be very rare instances there are guys out there (myself one of them) who loves fucking so much that you don't get if you are giving or receiving or both at the same time (flipping). If you want to do the penetrating, but you suffer from something that prevents you from being able to actually go through with the penetration. It is sad and we all feel for you. If modern medicine doesn't work I will lend you a shoulder to cry on. However, please please please consider that you should not advertise as a "Top". But then what are they supposed to advertise themselves as? Do they become SIDES? Has anyone updated that weird gay social hierarchy GIF I saw on here?? This is also why labels are troublesome and "needs" should be more front and centre.

I also agree with much of @hungry_hole ´s post. Very well said.

Here is where it all goes wrong. How do we have more "needs" based honest dialogue? It seems nearly impossible. In my experience what men think they WANT versus what they NEED is how wires get crossed, shit goes crazy wrong, and people just end up either ghosting or flaking. So...is there any light at the end of this tunnel?

 

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

Personally I can't comprehend not wanting my cock stimulated and cumming often, but I've learned that there are a lot of "sides" that don't want to include touching each other's cocks when they play (talking to guys at my local bathhouses), as well as total anal bottoms that don't want to have their cocks touched or to cum (here on Breeding Zone).

I’m a total bottom, but I don’t object to having my cock touched in the process, nor would I object if the Top wanted to make me ejaculate - but no one, and I mean no one, ever tries. Since I started cumdumping I can’t remember a single time a Top has attempted to make me have an orgasm that way. It’s fine, I’m not looking for or expecting it, but it just doesn’t seem to be on any Top’s agenda, and why should it be? Besides, if I’m doing my job right, their minds are totally somewhere else.

[Webster9]

Tops fuck and get their cocks sucked.  Bottoms get fucked and suck cock.  Versatile will give or take.

[NWUSHorny]

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

I’m a total bottom, but I don’t object to having my cock touched in the process, nor would I object if the Top wanted to make me ejaculate - but no one, and I mean no one, ever tries. Since I started cumdumping I can’t remember a single time a Top has attempted to make me have an orgasm that way. It’s fine, I’m not looking for or expecting it, but it just doesn’t seem to be on any Top’s agenda, and why should it be? Besides, if I’m doing my job right, their minds are totally somewhere else.

It doesn't happen the majority of the time, but it isn't rare either for a guy who is topping me to either try to jack me off or ask me to jack off and cum while they are fucking me. I've even explained to a few, if they can fuck the cum out of me great, but if they can't I'd rather fuck it into a hole. Occasionally that even leads to a flip fuck with mutual breeding, which is of course my favorite scenario. I mostly fuck in sex clubs and bathhouses and almost always have a hard dick while I'm getting fucked.

[yunghungtop]

On 1/18/2023 at 6:49 PM, hntnhole said:

 

1.  "Top" means (or used to) a guy who will only fuck.  Active only, nothing passive.

 

That's me. That's how I still define it. It's refreshing to encounter bottoms who want this, and will play the way I want to play. 

[hntnhole]

One of these nights, there will be someone at the door of the bars/fuckjoints handing out little booklets, so we can look up all the definitions of who will do what and who won't do shit !!!

[NWUSHorny]

15 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

One of these nights, there will be someone at the door of the bars/fuckjoints handing out little booklets, so we can look up all the definitions of who will do what and who won't do shit !!!

It's actually more important on the apps, than at a bar/fuckjoint. I'm not sure I've ever came right out and asked a guy I was getting friendly with whether they like to fuck or get fucked and specify that you mean with a cock outside of the PNW, but here it pays to do it if you don't want to waste a lot of time learning about all the "wonderful" ways to have sex without fucking.

I'm happy to report that no one was walking around with their dildo offering to use it on guys trying to get fucked at last night's Cumunion, but to be fair the bathhouse across town was hosting their regular Thursday night dildo playdate party at the same time. Luckily no one tried to talk me into just cuddling either, and I both fucked and got fucked, so by local standards it was a good Cumunion.

[hntnhole]

2 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

so by local standards it was a good Cumunion.

Great - glad to know it.  That's the whole point of hitting the fuckjoints !!!  You're smiling now, aren'tcha .......

[NWUSHorny]

6 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Great - glad to know it.  That's the whole point of hitting the fuckjoints !!!  You're smiling now, aren'tcha .......

Yes, but more would always be better. By LA, Denver, Palm Springs or Vegas standards it would have been an incredibly slow regular Thursday night at the fuckjoint.