Need to bareback - neg scared of becoming poz but can't get it out of my head

[Guest]

I don't *want* to be Poz but I do feel hooked, drawn to, turned on by, the idea of barebacking completely unprotected, obsessed with it. 

Peole say 'just go for it' but I can't quite. Other people say that once I've passed this point there's no way back and I just need to accept that I'm drawn to barebacking. A lot of people must have gone through this. How do I move on from here? (and yes I do get hard at the thought of getting fucked 100% unprotected). London UK looking for advice and understanding tops.

[Guest]

I have your exact obsession... I want to go watch a PoZ conversion party and maybe get too drunk to make smart decisions or pass out completely and helpless to them.  Good luck, I dont think you can ever shake your fantasy/ obsession. I know I can't. 

[gamerslut]

Here is a great place to make some poz and chaser friends who you can share your thoughts with without fear of rejection.

I find that part of accepting and acting on these desires is to meet others who will encourage you on your journey 👋 

[marriedsub]

1 hour ago, pluto said:

I don't *want* to be Poz but I do feel hooked, drawn to, turned on by, the idea of barebacking completely unprotected, obsessed with it. 

Peole say 'just go for it' but I can't quite. Other people say that once I've passed this point there's no way back and I just need to accept that I'm drawn to barebacking. A lot of people must have gone through this. How do I move on from here? (and yes I do get hard at the thought of getting fucked 100% unprotected). London UK looking for advice and understanding tops.

I'm sort of in the same position. Married, to a woman, but want to bareback, get filled with cum. Not really into getting pozzed. And still, it's such a turn on to read the stories here...

[HoneyBuns1980]

I have zero desire for nor interest in being “converted”or whatever, but, I’ve found it difficult the last few years to get BB’ing out of my head, too. That’s around the time I decided to really start to go for it. And, now that I’m immersing myself into the sissy hypno rabbit hole, I’m finding that there really is at least some truth to the there’s-no-turning-back warnings. 
Again, I’m not a chaser, but, I can’t remember the last time I got fucked by someone wearing a condom. I’m of the mindset now that I’m going to make myself available however the top wants it. They want it bare. And, I’ve learned that the unspoken rule for bottoms is: if you’re getting fucked bare, you’re accepting that you will have a load of cum in your ass when it’s over, unless the top decides otherwise. 

Edited March 18, 2023 by HoneyBuns1980

[ErosWired]

This isn’t complicated. You want something that has a risk attached, but you want it with no risk. Your distress comes from the fact that you can’t have what you want, and you’re too afraid to get it any other way.

No amount of fretting is going to change it. If you want bare, you accept some risk. Period. If you absolutely cannot tolerate the thought of coping with what would happen if you got HIV, then put going bare out of your mind. Make the decision and quit worrying about it. There are lots of things in life we have to choose not to do, and we live with the choices.

On the other hand, there are ways to approach it by drastically reducing the risk - PrEP - being the biggest factor.

Ignore these people telling you to find friends who are givers/chasers. If you don’t want to become positive, they’re going to give you lousy advice, and conceivably try to harm you - avoid like plague.

Even if you mitigate your risk of HIV to the max, the more you fuck bare, the more certain it is that you’ll ultimately pick up an STD. Again, if you can’t deal with it, no bare for you. It’s something you have to accept.

There’s nothing anyone here can do to get you over your fear of the water. We can give you information. We can tell you what we’ve done. But making the decision to swim is all you. We can’t push you into the pool.

[VersGuyAnon]

PrEP is definitely the main thing that comes to mind 

[MKSub24]

I went through similar feelings. The pozzing stories on here are hot but in reality it's the last thing i want. I have toyed with going bb for sometime but was never brave enough to take the plunge, (pun intended). I was persuaded by a bb vers guy to go on Prep. It's a bit intimidating at first for a married man to attend a gum clinic but in reality nobody bats an eyelid. I'm now on event based prep and fucking bb and loving it. I have no desire to get pozzed and accept i might pick up other STIs but they can be treated. Prep is free in the UK. Get on Prep and enjoy BB.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, MKSub24 said:

I went through similar feelings. The pozzing stories on here are hot but in reality it's the last thing i want. I have toyed with going bb for sometime but was never brave enough to take the plunge, (pun intended). I was persuaded by a bb vers guy to go on Prep. It's a bit intimidating at first for a married man to attend a gum clinic but in reality nobody bats an eyelid. I'm now on event based prep and fucking bb and loving it. I have no desire to get pozzed and accept i might pick up other STIs but they can be treated. Prep is free in the UK. Get on Prep and enjoy BB.

Agree wit MKSub24, and the others.  I like bareback,  And I realize I may get an STI.  But I have no desire to be pozzed though the stories get me hard.  For me, I was coming out when the AIDS thing was really emerging. For me, it was scary. 

But having Prep gives you some freedom now. Whatever you do, make sure it is truly what you want.  Don't let lust guide you.  It is a life long commitment. 

Edited March 18, 2023 by RBMI
Clarification

[SissySub10]

I only fuck bb I'm a neg bottom but as a sub its my place to be used by any top if it happens it happens 

[NWUSHorny]

I highly recommend you get on PREP if you are actually going to bareback.

If it is just a fantasy that you are entertaining, but aren't actually fucking with anyone, it doesn't really make a difference. I can't say that I condone your self destructive fantasy, or that I don't find it irritating, but if you aren't actually acting on it you aren't causing yourself harm.

[PozBearWI]

6 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I highly recommend you get on PREP if you are actually going to bareback.

If it is just a fantasy that you are entertaining, but aren't actually fucking with anyone, it doesn't really make a difference. I can't say that I condone your self destructive fantasy, or that I don't find it irritating, but if you aren't actually acting on it you aren't causing yourself harm.

The debate of risk management i've gone through evolved thusly...  Pre Retirement it was vastly cheaper to just get on PrEP.  It cost me nothing and continuing care was in context of my regular medical team close to the office.  In retirement the cost of the drug plan that would support PrEP is stupidly expensive.  Traveling into the city where random crime has become ubiquitous (not if there were any today; but how rather how many today?) is considerably riskier than any chance I might contract HIV with my current play buddies.   With a couple dozen regular play buds; what I bring into our group is relevant.  It isn't all about me in that context.  

The fantasy; fuck I love it.  I dearly love dirty poz talk and can find that very satisfying.  It hasn't come up with my current play buds.  And if any want to jump into those waters, I would want to set the stage with them about fantasy vs reality.  True poz talk to me has to sound convincing.  So do we make a safe word?  Or to we just jump in and see if it takes (and if so, get on meds so we can protect our buddies from unwitting infection)?  For me the latter.  I am happy to accept the risk for myself; and I know once I am undetectable U=U.  Taking away another's free informed choice is a hard line for me.  

The next question though, for me not yet answered, if I am poz and undetectable; why should I have a duty to tell?  (I have my own answers here but I am curious what you fellows will say).  

[NWUSHorny]

8 minutes ago, JimInWisc said:

The next question though, for me not yet answered, if I am poz and undetectable; why should I have a duty to tell?  (I have my own answers here but I am curious what you fellows will say).  

I think the answer to that question is somewhat situational. With a small group of regular fuck buddies, or even if you are setting something up with a single individual in advance, for me disclosing my status in ethically mandatory. If you are at a sex club, party or just out cruising then I think it is up to the other party to ask if you are undetectable, if I wasn't undetectable I would feel obligated to disclose it before we fucked. For me that didn't happen, because I found out I was positive while being treated for cancer and was undetectable long before I started looking for sex again.

Another ethical question is for cumdump bottoms, what is their obligation even if they themselves are neg on PREP or undetectable? I'm almost certain I caught it from fucking cumdump bottoms at sex clubs and parties. I take full responsibility for my own irresponsible actions (I sought out bottoms that I had just watched get bred), but definitely warn someone who I don't think is experienced if they are about to stick their dick in me and I have cum in my hole. In fact unless it is a regular who is about to fuck me, I always disclose in advance if they are about to get sloppy seconds. 

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I highly recommend you get on PREP if you are actually going to bareback.

If it is just a fantasy that you are entertaining, but aren't actually fucking with anyone, it doesn't really make a difference. I can't say that I condone your self destructive fantasy, or that I don't find it irritating, but if you aren't actually acting on it you aren't causing yourself harm.

The Judge of Fantasies speaks. 

[VersGuyAnon]

11 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

PrEP is definitely the main thing that comes to mind 

I don't know why my comment has been downvoted by someone, but I quite simply meant that PrEP is the first option to come to mind, if the obsession to bareback becomes reality and continues, whilst still very much wanting to remain HIV-.