Too much chat

[Bottom Jim]

I have run into a number of guys who want to chat. They get all worked up about how they are going to pound my ass shoot their load deep in me. Then when it gets time to meet I never hear from them. 
I don’t mind chatting but guys have to realize it has to end with your dick and cum in my ass in my ass. I guess some guys get off that way

[NWUSHorny]

Both on the apps and in person. There are a lot of men that identify as "gay" that are really asexual in regard to actually having sex. 

[backdoorjimmy]

5 hours ago, Bottom Jim said:

I have run into a number of guys who want to chat. They get all worked up about how they are going to pound my ass shoot their load deep in me. Then when it gets time to meet I never hear from them. 
I don’t mind chatting but guys have to realize it has to end with your dick and cum in my ass in my ass. I guess some guys get off that way

I run into this a lot, too. One guy I was trying to hook up with admitted that he jacked off while we were chatting and was no longer horny 🫤

[backdoorjimmy]

45 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

Both on the apps and in person. There are a lot of men that identify as "gay" that are really asexual in regard to actually having sex. 

I know someone like this. A couple years ago he asked me to “teach” him how to bottom because he wanted to be a sub slut. To this day, he’s never had sex and can’t figure out why he always backs out when the opportunity is right in front of him. 

 

 

[ErosWired]

They’re fantasists and voyeurs - they don’t live a life in which they actively have intercourse because they have conditioned themselves to accept the psychological substitute of a fantasy/vicarious/virtual connection for the real thing.

There are reasons they may do this, most of which boil down to timidity, repression and fear. Sex is a practice that takes one to extremes of feeling, can put one at risk emotionally or physically, and is laden with rafts of social assumptions that these men may buy into more than not. Men with the courage to live their lives and reach for their desires without fear are not common. The rest can only imitate them in some lesser way to try to imagine what their lives really are.

It doesn’t take an extraordinary person to live extraordinary experiences - there’s nothing extraordinary about me, yet by the measure of most men as I have come to understand it, my sexual experience has been extraordinary, and continues to be so. The difference? I just decide to live it. These men who chat and masturbate have decided not to.

A very common phrase we see in response to narratives about real sex lives lived is “Wish that was me.” That makes me grind my teeth every time I see it. It’s never going to be him, because he doesn’t have the gumption to make it happen, and by making that statement he’s just letting us know.

 I’m not going to judge him - if that’s all he needs in life to meet that need, then so be it. I’d prefer that he not waste my time, but his need are his own. I do, however, pity him a bit, for he has settled for a life so much less rich than it could be.

[NWUSHorny]

18 hours ago, ErosWired said:

They’re fantasists and voyeurs - they don’t live a life in which they actively have intercourse because they have conditioned themselves to accept the psychological substitute of a fantasy/vicarious/virtual connection for the real thing.

They are definitely fantasist, but I'm not sure voyeur fits when it comes to watching in realtime. There are times when if you start fucking in a group play area of a sex club you get total privacy, the fantasist will spend hours watching 2 guys engage in foreplay but leave if they actual start actually fucking. Where I live this leads to some pretty crazy, and sometimes stupid, behavior by exhibitionists to get noticed while actually fucking.

[PigBoyDallas]

Seems to be the opposite for me. Most guys want to switch to SC almost right away to get RT pics of me to know I'm for real. I hate doing that as SC has always been for friends, so set up a separate account for hookups. Once most guys see my pics and feel comfortable it gets down to hooking up quickly. I do get some "photo collector" types who want to chat and get photos but I cut things off quickly. I guess I'm kinda mercenary, I want to get down to fucking pretty quick and if they want to chat too much I move on. That said, I have chatted with some pretty cool guys on some of the apps. Have one 20 something guy who just moved here from rural Texas that I've met with a number of times and am seriously considering dating and two couples who are a lot of fun. Sometimes chat is cool and OK. It just depends on what I want TBH.

[viking8x6]

On 6/22/2023 at 1:49 PM, PigBoyDallas said:

I guess I'm kinda mercenary, I want to get down to fucking pretty quick and if they want to chat too much I move on.

You're not mercenary, just practical and goal-oriented. Mercenary is when people ask for money.

[Hotrawbutt4u]

On 6/21/2023 at 6:21 PM, ErosWired said:

They’re fantasists and voyeurs - they don’t live a life in which they actively have intercourse because they have conditioned themselves to accept the psychological substitute of a fantasy/vicarious/virtual connection for the real thing.

There are reasons they may do this, most of which boil down to timidity, repression and fear. Sex is a practice that takes one to extremes of feeling, can put one at risk emotionally or physically, and is laden with rafts of social assumptions that these men may buy into more than not. Men with the courage to live their lives and reach for their desires without fear are not common. The rest can only imitate them in some lesser way to try to imagine what their lives really are.

It doesn’t take an extraordinary person to live extraordinary experiences - there’s nothing extraordinary about me, yet by the measure of most men as I have come to understand it, my sexual experience has been extraordinary, and continues to be so. The difference? I just decide to live it. These men who chat and masturbate have decided not to.

A very common phrase we see in response to narratives about real sex lives lived is “Wish that was me.” That makes me grind my teeth every time I see it. It’s never going to be him, because he doesn’t have the gumption to make it happen, and by making that statement he’s just letting us know.

 I’m not going to judge him - if that’s all he needs in life to meet that need, then so be it. I’d prefer that he not waste my time, but his need are his own. I do, however, pity him a bit, for he has settled for a life so much less rich than it could be.

I hear you, I get ghosted a lot. I try to size up the guy I am chatting with . I have chated with some guys and even though i dont recognize the name I readynthe same terminology I get a quick idea if the guy is only for chatting.

I don't mind chatting, it sometimes gives me ideas for when I do play. I usually tell guys I can only play certain weekdays. If they can't play then, usually because of work, that is ok. Sometimes we keep chatting , other times they drop it. 

I think as long as you know up front where it is going the chat is OK.

Oh, and I am much the same way, the guy needs to know, I am looking to get fucked or my ass wrecked, my favorite times have been when the guy grabbs ass right away

 

Edited June 23, 2023 by Hotrawbutt4u

[cumslut4play]

Interesting conversation.  I have to say that it's really hard to gauge right off the bat whether someone is direct and just wants to get things going, or if they want some back and forth first.  Sometimes I've tried being super direct right off the bat and just say what I'm looking for - and some guys will respond favorably and others find it offputting (based on their responses).  Sometimes I try to be a bit more casual and bump in to people that just reply with one word answers.  Of course, I adapt once I have a sense of where it's going, but I don't have down to an exact science.  Sniffies seems the most transactional, BBRT has become more and more sanitized over the years so is a mix of both...

My preference is I could just say, "anon pump and dump bottom, come drop your load" and they'd ask for the address and then give me an ETA.  I wish!

I also travel a ton for work so I do hit up guys in other cities in the hopes that I have some contacts in other cities I can hook up with when I'm there and don't have to waste a fuck ton of time, since I'm pretty time contrained on work trips.  

[PozTalkAuthor]

I'm one of those  guys who's here for dirty chat and I wrote it clearly on profile; it's a game lasting the time of chat, and can be interrupted whenever, it's not the first time a guy chats me then disappears, no offense towards me, they're in full right to do this as no one owes anything to each other, unless specified otherwise.

 Some buddies here enjoy sexting, occasionally we discuss, but stop! 

If I have a life? Yes, a job keeping me busy and tired, and I have A very satisfying relationship with my bf. "What do you sext with others for"... To have fun for myself which disconnects my mind temporarily during pauses from work, to have something spicy to turn my bf and me on, no one has the right to judge why and when one person decides to chat/roleplay! 

Communication is key, when someone's up to chat with me they do, if they don't like my approach they don't, nothing more, nothing less. 

And yes, I generally take this site/inbox to chat dirty with internet buddy because using notifications-driven apps then drive me crazy, I'm already over-stressed on those for work reasons so, if I have few minutes to have fun with sexting I do, otherwise who gives a damn! 

Honestly I don't care about what people think of fantasy chats; I've embraced them, I enjoy them only with people agreeing, I would never bother anyone. 

[cumslut4play]

6 minutes ago, PozTalkAuthor said:

I'm one of those  guys who's here for dirty chat and I wrote it clearly on profile;

I agree!  I'm also fine with dirty chat 🙂 fantasy or whether it leads to something latter, it's still fine with me.  It's somewhat necessary here since so many profiles don't even have locations.

Edited June 23, 2023 by cumslut4play
small edit

[PozTalkAuthor]

16 minutes ago, cumslut4play said:

I agree!  I'm also fine with dirty chat 🙂 fantasy or whether it leads to something latter, it's still fine with me.  It's somewhat necessary here since so many profiles don't even have locations.

Up for it whenever you want! That's why I wrote "a book" -LOL- on profile; so people don't create expectations or misunderstandings. 

Honestly the main reason why I came here was to write dirtier stories than the one I build elsewhere. But then I understood to be "out of target", mainly guys here have other tastes, and I never want to force others to read what they're not interested in or they simply don't understand.