Ghosting nonsense

[Sfmike64]

Can I /Rant for a moment?

Someone saw my handle on this site and chatted me up on Telegram. Fine, I'm into that. We were chatting a bit and he laid out what he was interested in talking dirty about and I said "yeah, I get why people are into that, but that's not really my thing."

And he disappeared without a word and deleted the chat.

Seriously? At least be an adult and say "ok, that's really what I'm into. See ya later."

Have some fucking manners, ya'll. We're all human beings and need to be treated with some respect. If you hit me up FIRST don't just disappear when it's not going to be a match. BE A MAN.

OK /rant.

[PigBoyDallas]

Its the nature of things now. Guys aren't emotionally invested. Its all transactional. They aren't going to waste your time and theirs if things are going nowhere. Its nothing personal.

[SFCumdog]

I find that gays can get easily offended when they think they are being judged. And to many, saying "I'm not into that" regardless of how you yourself meant it, feels like being judged, especially the further away from vanilla that kink they divulged to you tends to be. Additionally many still feel a certain amount of shame about themselves and about their sexual tastes that can stem from a very young age. The "I'm not into that" statement triggers those old feelings of shame and rejection. And they block you so that they don't ever start that same conversation over with you again and have the same thing happen. 

[BlindRawFucker1]

I always say, “I’m probably too vanilla for you.”

 

I hope it sounds apologetic, rather than judgmental.

 

We all have the things that turn us on.  Variety is the spice of life.

[partying.hard]

1 hour ago, Sfmike64 said:

Can I /Rant for a moment?

Someone saw my handle on this site and chatted me up on Telegram. Fine, I'm into that. We were chatting a bit and he laid out what he was interested in talking dirty about and I said "yeah, I get why people are into that, but that's not really my thing."

And he disappeared without a word and deleted the chat.

Seriously? At least be an adult and say "ok, that's really what I'm into. See ya later."

Have some fucking manners, ya'll. We're all human beings and need to be treated with some respect. If you hit me up FIRST don't just disappear when it's not going to be a match. BE A MAN.

OK /rant.

Dear god … I’m on Tele gram several times a week.  I’m a member of several groups (honestly, way toooo many groups).  And sometimes the groups are so active, the conversations with individuals get pushed down so far I don’t always see them.   In fact, earlier this afternoon, there were a couple of messages. I failed to reply to from three days ago. So if it was me, or if I’ve ever failed to reply to a message to anyone else, I really really apologize.
 

all of that notwithstanding, web all fucking hate it when we get ghosted, especially when I’m in the middle of a conversation with them. I’m sure there are many reasons they do it. They lost interest. They were jerking off and busted their nut and moved on to the next person.  I said, the wrong thing would suddenly turn them off. They found something better to come along.  It sucks.  And for a moment, it hurts or disappoints.  And then I realize this is the modern generation and it’s the Internet. Basic common courtesy is pushed aside.

[Orlbttmntraining]

2 hours ago, Sfmike64 said:

Can I /Rant for a moment?

Someone saw my handle on this site and chatted me up on Telegram. Fine, I'm into that. We were chatting a bit and he laid out what he was interested in talking dirty about and I said "yeah, I get why people are into that, but that's not really my thing."

And he disappeared without a word and deleted the chat.

Seriously? At least be an adult and say "ok, that's really what I'm into. See ya later."

Have some fucking manners, ya'll. We're all human beings and need to be treated with some respect. If you hit me up FIRST don't just disappear when it's not going to be a match. BE A MAN.

OK /rant.

Yeah I see this a lot too, it gets frustrating as fuck when you say "Not into all of that..." and they just poof without a word.

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, PigBoyDallas said:

Its the nature of things now.

No.

Not an acceptable excuse.

That’s the same as “Everybody does it, so…” [shrug]

We don’t have to accept this shit. We don’t have to roll over and let our community turn into an anarchic wasteland where nobody knows how to behave in a decent way toward other human beings.

The ‘Block’ function has a use, but it’s also one of the big culprits it the lack of personal accountability that emboldens people to be assholes online. With Blocking, anyone can do a hit-and-run and get away clean. If people actually had to answer for their shitty behavior online, the shitty behavior would ramp down sudden quick.

So don’t tell me I have to roll over and take it up the ass. I mean - do, please, but don’t ask me to accept ‘asshole’ as the ‘new normal’. None of us should.

[Sfmike64]

2 hours ago, PigBoyDallas said:

Its the nature of things now. Guys aren't emotionally invested. Its all transactional. They aren't going to waste your time and theirs if things are going nowhere. Its nothing personal.

I get that but did someone raise them in a barn?

All you have to say is "thanks, I'm looking for that thing. Cheers."

It would take 3 seconds. And the way Telegram works if they delete the chat it disappears. Too bad, guy had (at least he was showing) a really nice fat uncut cock.

[Sfmike64]

55 minutes ago, partying.hard said:

Dear god … I’m on Tele gram several times a week.  I’m a member of several groups (honestly, way toooo many groups).  And sometimes the groups are so active, the conversations with individuals get pushed down so far I don’t always see them.   In fact, earlier this afternoon, there were a couple of messages. I failed to reply to from three days ago. So if it was me, or if I’ve ever failed to reply to a message to anyone else, I really really apologize.
 

all of that notwithstanding, web all fucking hate it when we get ghosted, especially when I’m in the middle of a conversation with them. I’m sure there are many reasons they do it. They lost interest. They were jerking off and busted their nut and moved on to the next person.  I said, the wrong thing would suddenly turn them off. They found something better to come along.  It sucks.  And for a moment, it hurts or disappoints.  And then I realize this is the modern generation and it’s the Internet. Basic common courtesy is pushed aside.

It wasn't you. You can fuck me anytime you like, pig. 😉

It was some rando who didn't even have a profile (or wouldn't give it to me when I asked to see who I was talking to). That should've been a red flag to start with. 

[Sfmike64]

1 hour ago, SFCumdog said:

I find that gays can get easily offended when they think they are being judged. And to many, saying "I'm not into that" regardless of how you yourself meant it, feels like being judged, especially the further away from vanilla that kink they divulged to you tends to be. Additionally many still feel a certain amount of shame about themselves and about their sexual tastes that can stem from a very young age. The "I'm not into that" statement triggers those old feelings of shame and rejection. And they block you so that they don't ever start that same conversation over with you again and have the same thing happen. 

That's a good point that I hadn't thought about. He was asking about something pretty extreme (fetishizing getting STIs which people talk about on here, but isn't my thing and I don't find personally hot). 

That's why I said "yeah, I get why people like that but it's not for me." Or something to that effect. 

[partying.hard]

1 hour ago, Sfmike64 said:

It wasn't you. You can fuck me anytime you like, pig. 😉
 

Oh, Daddy Mike, you say the sweetest things to me!  Awwww, shucks!  😉

1 hour ago, Sfmike64 said:

That's a good point that I hadn't thought about. He was asking about something pretty extreme (fetishizing getting STIs which people talk about on here, but isn't my thing and I don't find personally hot). 

That's why I said "yeah, I get why people like that but it's not for me." Or something to that effect. 

My preferred reply to someone is “I’m going to pass.”  And if I think I need something a bit for final “Good luck tonight.”

[Sfmike64]

3 hours ago, partying.hard said:

Oh, Daddy Mike, you say the sweetest things to me!  Awwww, shucks!  😉

My preferred reply to someone is “I’m going to pass.”  And if I think I need something a bit for final “Good luck tonight.”

I say both of those things. 🙂 Are you inside my head?

[PozTalkAuthor]

I always say it, respect and communication are the key. 

I hate ghosting too, but considering it as such or not, depends on the context of the correspondence we have, especially on this site or, generally, in sexting-related chats. Do you take sexting as a deep confidence? Do you consider it just fun? Does it start with fun and become confident? Anything can happen and you'll react to people disappearing, in different ways. 

I'm a computer professional and know as things works, having seen the worst of humanity on the Internet, I tend to take things as they are; anyway I'm always polite with people corresponding with me as I know there's a human with feelings, behind the screen! And I can't be aware whether they feel it just a sexting chat to relax our mind and body, or the beginning of something else. 

I tend to say "I'm not into this" when it deals with substances for example, but that's not judgmental, it's like saying "no, thanks" if someone offers almond biscuits if you don't like almonds! What's wrong? 

Then, there are many reason people might disappear from here. I've made a close friendship here with a guy, called Evilqueerpig. He stated himself as "poz not on meds", we wrote daily for months, then he simply disappeared without a word... Do I judge him? No, he has every right to abandon this site and not giving me other contact methods, I also prefer not to give those around here. But in that case I'm scared he has something worse as he wrote a story fiction about a hospice and a dying man... 

Yes, mostly I say "be a man", like you; keyboard warriors are rubbish. But as far as we know, anyone can have their reason! Delete telegram chat? I personally hate Telegram so who knows, but he could also have come to a nsfw situation. 

That is the reason why I compiled a detailed profile here. Just people wanting my own fantasies, chat with me. Others won't even approach. Then, I can talk about anything else beyond sex, with people having different tastes. I don't bite! LOL

[topblkmale]

7 hours ago, SFCumdog said:

I find that gays can get easily offended when they think they are being judged. And to many, saying "I'm not into that" regardless of how you yourself meant it, feels like being judged, especially the further away from vanilla that kink they divulged to you tends to be. Additionally many still feel a certain amount of shame about themselves and about their sexual tastes that can stem from a very young age. The "I'm not into that" statement triggers those old feelings of shame and rejection. And they block you so that they don't ever start that same conversation over with you again and have the same thing happen. 

100% true

Happens to me ALOT. I guess since I'm top, many bottoms send me pics with female attire (which I'm not into)

I try to give a nice compliment then politely say 'that's no my scene'

But most gays can't handle rejection so I just ghost and block.

[topblkmale]

6 hours ago, Sfmike64 said:

I get that but did someone raise them in a barn?

All you have to say is "thanks, I'm looking for that thing. Cheers."

It would take 3 seconds. And the way Telegram works if they delete the chat it disappears. Too bad, guy had (at least he was showing) a really nice fat uncut cock.

I've done similar and tried to move on.

 

 

But some guys, if its Grindr, will try and report your profile to Grindr for a community guideline violation in an attempt to get your account banned. It has happened to me numerous times with certain communities.

I say swipe left, delete and/or block is preferable.