Romantic relationship

[BootmanLA]

On 11/3/2023 at 1:15 PM, Close2MyBro said:

Gay romance just seems muddled with complications, and I think the curiosity and desire to experience many different men doesn't help the situation at all. I have a close group of friends who have tried the romance/dating thing all to find that one of the parties slips up. Sometimes it's a boozy night of poor choices. Sometimes its finally having that opportunity to get with someone you've been craving for a while. It also seems that the second you're in a relationship, everyone who wasn't interested in you suddenly becomes interested in you.

Then there's trying to find the "right" person. A lot of gay men are superficial and shallow, and only looking for big dicks, big bank accounts, someone to take care of them or buy them things. Or they're life is a mess in other ways like drugs, alcohol, a mountain of debt, legal issues, etc. mental health issues like self acceptance, etc. Honestly, who wants to take on al that baggage? Not me, I'd rather be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.

Not going to suggest any of these things don't exist, or aren't problems. But they're not limited to gay romance. I guarantee you, straights have boozy nights of poor choices and find people already in relationships desirable. Divorce attorneys were a thing long before gay marriage.

And superficial is a thing for straights too, and there are women who are only looking for those same things some superficial gay men are (just straight ones instead of gay ones). Straight people also have more than their share of drug and alcohol, debt, and legal issues.

[PozBearWI]

@viking8x6 Man  I agree.  My husband and I started our relationship open, having concluded from prior ones that to put arbitrary monogamy requirements made no sense.  We were fuck bunnies in our early years, but as often happens, that gave way to affection.  Permanent?  No, one of us is going to die first.  And that is gonna be a crappy time for the one who doesn't.  But we built our private little empire and whomever survives will do OK enough until his end.  

Now, perhaps this sounds morbid and depressing.  It is not intended that way.  It is simply a fact, we humans have this annoying habit of dying.  And there aren't ever exceptions.  Meanwhile we enjoy our lives and the things we do, build, make happen; and those little acts of caring that pop up a few times a day.  

[hntnhole]

5 minutes ago, JimInWisc said:

Now, perhaps this sounds morbid and depressing.  It is not intended that way.  It is simply a fact, we humans have this annoying habit of dying.  And there aren't ever exceptions.  Meanwhile we enjoy our lives and the things we do, build, make happen; and those little acts of caring that pop up a few times a day. 

What a lovely description of the ecstasy and eventual agony of a truly loving, caring relationship - for the survivor.  My other half has been gone for 14 years now, and at first it was really tough - to the point I felt I had to sell our home and relocate.  Sure, friends did everything they could to help, and I was grateful, but he/his presence was everywhere, and I felt as though I was rotting like an old potato.  But, eventually the hurt sort of crusts over, and all the wonderful memories take over. 

It's not like we forget - that's impossible - but the sense of loss can diminish somewhat as the years pass.

Thanks, JimInWisc.  

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 11/3/2023 at 6:56 AM, MuscledHorse said:

You're not going to find a date worthy guy on the hookup apps. They will be found in other places. I met my other half at an event called Furry Weekend Atlanta. Our meeting was totally by chance because we knew some of the same people in League of Atlanta pups. I was a few weeks from moving to Atlanta and he wound up being one of the guys who came up to TN to help me move, and afterwards, we started hanging out. By the time we decided to call it boyfriends about 3 months later, every guy who knew us said "it's about time you two figured it out." We've been together ever since. We both work hard and play hard. We reject sexual monogamy as a basis for a meaningful relationship and he is genuinely my best friend. We have things and interests we do and pursue separately and we have things we do and pursue together. He is not the "romantic" type (waving crucifix at Hallmark Channel) while I enjoy the cuddly-kissy stuff, which he indulges sometimes.  our ideal relationship is going to be with the guy who turns out to be our best friend and cheerleader and you, theirs. Hookup apps are not the places to meet. See what kinds of events your community has (pups, leather, gaymers, etc.) as those are the places where you're likely to meet guys you can actually socialize with, who will be more than just a hookup.

Sounds like the perfect relationship & a match made in heaven. 😛

[Chuckynultien]

On 11/3/2023 at 11:56 AM, MuscledHorse said:

You're not going to find a date worthy guy on the hookup apps. They will be found in other places. I met my other half at an event called Furry Weekend Atlanta. Our meeting was totally by chance because we knew some of the same people in League of Atlanta pups. I was a few weeks from moving to Atlanta and he wound up being one of the guys who came up to TN to help me move, and afterwards, we started hanging out. By the time we decided to call it boyfriends about 3 months later, every guy who knew us said "it's about time you two figured it out." We've been together ever since. We both work hard and play hard. We reject sexual monogamy as a basis for a meaningful relationship and he is genuinely my best friend. We have things and interests we do and pursue separately and we have things we do and pursue together. He is not the "romantic" type (waving crucifix at Hallmark Channel) while I enjoy the cuddly-kissy stuff, which he indulges sometimes.  our ideal relationship is going to be with the guy who turns out to be our best friend and cheerleader and you, theirs. Hookup apps are not the places to meet. See what kinds of events your community has (pups, leather, gaymers, etc.) as those are the places where you're likely to meet guys you can actually socialize with, who will be more than just a hookup.

You just can’t say you won’t find a worthy Guy with a hookup app.  It can happen every where. My first LTR  I found at a cruising area , my second I found at Gaydar. Both LTR lasted approx 7 years and ended due different reasons. My current boyfriend I met on Bullchat a Dutch hookup chat. Even before we met or I even saw a photo I knew it was my man for life. I told this to a friend and he just laughed when I said this. Now 15 years later we are still a couple and will be for life. We have a family , we are granddads but we are also living the gaylife playing around with other Guys. Most of the time together. Is our relation Romantic ?  Not really, it is about friendship and loving to be together and sharing happy and sad moments. So my advice just live , date , however don’t search. You never know when or where, it can happen always and everywhere when you least expect it.