being judge by the doctors

[badjujuboy]

I definitely recommend looking for another doctor. If there are organizations in your area that offer resources for gay men, try seeing if they can offer referrals. I lucked out when one of the docs I was seeing for another health issue brought up my status when I was 18 and I hadn’t been tested. He gave me a name of doc and I contacted him. The doc was gay and specialized in treating those with HIV. He was great and  I was sad when he retired. But before he left, he gave recommendations and I’ve had gay primary care docs ever since with no judgements ever from them. It’s been “ok… gotcha… then this is what we can do.”

Edited February 9 by badjujuboy

[Bwccummer]

Not in meet the doctor that do wonder about a couple of things. One is maybe doctor had some sort of religious background on how talked. Because in the USA some pharmacists have a religious beliefs to not want to fill prescriptions for something against own beliefs, but the patient may need prescription or have own values that fine with taking. In short not sure if one have religious objections why a Pharmacist, doctor or medical official? On the other side maybe doctor express concerns but did in a poor way.

In my own experience ran across a doctor that later left me upset. First seemed to just out of door. Next is later bothered me on referrals that I not requested. Also the letter of referral not give a address so not know where to go. At least have address or addresses of referrals for clinic or medical office. Because last thing want to do is go all over trying to go to some office.

Ultimately I made own decision and would not want to see doctor again. I would as read other posts think more of a gay friendly doctor to see.

[RawNYTop]

On 1/30/2024 at 10:38 AM, gay87 said:

lol , i had similar doctor. I changed to a gay doctor, and he is like "oh? you took 60 loads last month? That's great, as long as you took your pills, and you are vaccinated against hep A/B, and G9 warts, and yeah you will occasionally pick up some gono & chlamydia or sypillis, just get those treated and you be fine

If we all had doctors like yours, we probably would put the brakes on STI's. I think most guys feel slut shamed by their doctors and that is why they don't get tested. Just think, if there was a chain of sex clinics in every city that specialized in the process of STI testing and treating, then the number of reported cases would decrease. 

Not going to see that in my lifetime unfortunately.

[fluffybutt]

On 1/28/2024 at 12:42 AM, tomzefis said:

I'm happy to have this space where we can discuss these topics that perhaps the rest of society doesn't understand well.

I recently had a BLIP on my viral load and I was also diagnosed with Syphilis at the same time ( and for the first time )

😑

My doctor is a woman, she seems to be a liberal person, at least that's what I thought...

What scared me most at my last appointment was that she told me several times that this BLIP is the result of me not taking the medication correctly.

She also said that it is entirely possible for me to be reinfected with a virus that is resistant to my medicines and that this will harm my treatment (and from what I have studied, it is practically impossible to have a reinfection, especially if I take the medicines every day).

The whole time the doctor insisted on how my long-term treatment is going to fail and that my virus gonna be resistant to the medications. and that if I don't stop having unprotected sex, I will have a very serious problem

She made me very scared about even syphilis, she told me that I could get other types of syphilis whose antibiotics don't work well

Anyway, I'm not saying that having HIV is something simple....although I sometimes "forget" that I have this disease, but going to this medical appointment traumatized me because it seems like the doctor wanted to shock me all the time, leave me with fear

I live in Berlin and gays here live their sexuality at full, and I don't see people here worried about having HIV or even having other diseases

Could it be that I'm being very naive and am downplaying HIV? Unfortunately, I don't want to go back to this doctor. I felt that I was being judged

This doctor was trying to educate and help you. If your bad decisions make you feel like you are "being judged" by a medical professional, maybe try making less bad decisions. Dont play the victim and blame the doctor for trying to help you understand the dangers you are putting yourself in thinking the way you do.

[fluffybutt]

Also, don't downvote me for being right. Smh

[BootmanLA]

22 hours ago, fluffybutt said:

Also, don't downvote me for being right. Smh

I don't think anyone is downvoting you for being right, because you're not.

A doctor's job is to treat and advise, not to judge. There are ways to convey information about the risks of STIs without coming across as morally judgmental, and apparently that's what this doctor did.

Yes, it's theoretically possible that an HIV+ person barebacking for receptive anal sex *might* become infected with a medication-resistant strain at some point. But those strains are pretty rare. So is untreatable syphilis. And any sensible doctor would tell a patient to get tested more regularly, rather than criticize him for not living the way she prefers.

[hntnhole]

20 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

There are ways to convey information about the risks of STIs without coming across as morally judgmental

When a medical doctor, presumably educated in his/her craft, cannot refrain from offering medical advice in a judgmental manner, they have essentially abandoned their training in favor of their personal feelings/attitudes/judgmentalism. 

I ran into that once, and the appointment was over before it really began, since I stood up, walked out, and that was it. 

There are plenty of fine, talented, generous-of-heart medical people around, and there's no reason at all to accept judgmental behavior from some haughty asshole who looks down his/her long, thin nose at our behavior or practices or life-choices.  

[hairyone]

Your doctor works for YOU!  You (or your insurance which you own) pays THEM. You are there for treatment recommendations and advice. Advice is NOT a directive. Recommended treatments are also not the final answer because there are options. It is ultimately up to YOU to make sure you have ALL options and advice for YOU to make the appropriate treatment decision for YOURSELF with a doctor that will work with YOU!

As your contracted employee, if your doctor is not working to your expectations, have a discussion with them with what you expect from them. Treat them as the employee they are. If they are not cooperative, fire them.  First, you can definitely ask them if they can recommend a physician that will work with you and your expectations.  Then, yes, use the term "You are fired." or "I no longer need your services." And give them an honest reason. If they give you any sh*t, walk away without comment and report them to the licensing board. 

I wonder if she would tell a sports professional in a risky sport (car racing, skydiver, etc.) that they should change their career/hobby/lifestyle or they will definitely die? And I wonder what she would expect their reaction to be.

Doctors are far from being gods or judges. 

[atlfukbud]

I had a similar situation with a female (str8) and male (gay) docs -- they both only quoted what you should do to keep yourself as safe as possible "by the book" you could say. Even the gay doc didn't want to hear about open relationships, and unprotected sex, and so forth... eventually I found an amazing gay doc that "GETS IT" -- clinically he's sound and refers me to amazing specialists when needed and I feel 100% comfortable telling he and his staff absolutely anything. I tell them when I'm going to an orgy in another town or country and we set up screening afterwards, for example. I echo the other recommendations to get a better doc that is sex positive and less judgmental --Best wishes!!

[Pozguyinchi]

I am lucky to have a gay doctor. He is not an infectious disease doctor but he reaches out to his resources when needed and is always honest and treats me with respect. I come to him with on average three Sti’s a year.  He just treats me and I move on. Never a lecture on morality. He is a decent man. 

[Close2MyBro]

I have a gay friendly doctor. When I first switched to him we had a very lengthy and honest conversation about my sexual habits.I told him flat out that I was not going to use condoms and that my current activities would likely continue. He told me two things, first, that he was obligated to let me know the risks, and second, that he would proactively screen me on an ongoing basis. We had that conversation once and it hasn't come up again, although he does ask me if any of my sexual activities have changed since i last saw him, likely to assess the risks once again. If you can establish this kind of relationship with your doctor that would be great, if not, then it probably wouldn't hurt to find a more gay-friendly doctor. When I first moved here I reached out to the local gay and lesbian centers and asked them to recommend gay-friend doctors and they all had recommendations to share, so you may want to try that as well.