Are millenials having less sex?

[Sharp-edge]

I'm posting also this link for a related article but you can find many others of this topic ([think before following links] https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-08-03/young-adults-less-sex-gen-z-millennials-generations-parents-grandparents)

 

As a millenial myself I recognise this. You can find porn everywhere and sometimes jerking can be way easier. Nobody seems to care meeting people. Some are what I call sex zombies. They want you to meet them right this instant. No matter if it's snowing, if it's 3am, if you tell them you're dying no they don't care. You have to meet them. And when you do they already search for the next one the moment you walk away. But many others are just unavailable. Instagram is full of half naked half-unclosetted gays who don't actually do something. Many of them also have Twitter where they just show their body and genitals and many also have onlyfans. Whoever has a dick sees it as a means of making money I'm afraid.

The only type of people that I think are relatively easy to meet are those who like to bate with someone else.

[ktopper]

This is sad. I am 71, I came of age sexually in the late '60s, the height of the "sexual revolution." Almost everyone was getting laid. Even me, once in awhile. It was a great time to be alive, great music, guys and girls still liked each other, chopped Harley Davidsons, muscle cars, cowboys loggers bikers and hippies all partied together. The cops were pricks but they weren't just randomly shooting citizens. It is so different now. I hope things change.

[ErosWired]

Go back over what you wrote:

• You can find porn anywhere (because it’s online)

• Nobody seems to care about meeting people (they interact virtually online)

• They expect you to respond instantly (they get instant gratification online)

• They immediately start searching for next (the online market never closes, is n their pocket, and searching is simple)

• Instagram, Twitter (people are living through electronic avatars of themselves that we call profiles)

• Many of them have OnlyFans (Do-it-yourself pornstars, made possible by the internet. Why just have sex when you could also be making (usually very little) money on it?)

It’s the internet. Everything you mentioned points back to the way the internet has changed the way people interact. Sex isn’t easy. Hooking up requires an investment of time and energy, and it isn’t an even playing field - some people have inherent advantages and disadvantages, and trying to compete is relatively difficult and complicated, for most people. Online seems to make everything easier, less harsh, less demanding, less personal.

So I don’t think it’s that millennials are any less sexy than anyone else, they have just emerged into a world in which humanity has been trapped in an electronic fishbowl of its own design, and now they can only swim in small, unsatisfying circles.

[Sharp-edge]

28 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

So I don’t think it’s that millennials are any less sexy than anyone else, they have just emerged into a world in which humanity has been trapped in an electronic fishbowl of its own design, and now they can only swim in small, unsatisfying circles.

You are 100% right. However I'm a millenial and I don't like all these. What I enjoy is flirting with someone that it happened to meet him outside. My best friend keeps on sending me IG posts of hot guys that he thinks I would like. He is right these guys are hot for me BUT I'm not interested for every random ginger dude out there. I know that there are many hot guys out there in the globe. But these are almost "Fake". Egocentric, egomaniac people that they are half porn starlets and half influences. I'm sick of that.

[ErosWired]

15 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

You are 100% right. However I'm a millenial and I don't like all these. What I enjoy is flirting with someone that it happened to meet him outside. My best friend keeps on sending me IG posts of hot guys that he thinks I would like. He is right these guys are hot for me BUT I'm not interested for every random ginger dude out there. I know that there are many hot guys out there in the globe. But these are almost "Fake". Egocentric, egomaniac people that they are half porn starlets and half influences. I'm sick of that.

Again, though, everything you describe is a function of the internet culture. You enjoy flirting with actual people you happen to meet, but when it comes to looking, you’re talking about who you are and aren’t interested in in terms of profiles - hot, fake egocentric, egomaniacal would-be porn starlets and influencers? Those are online avatars, not real human beings. Of course you don’t like them. They’re not even fuckable.

[NicNorth]

Porn of various sorts has always provided a convenient low effort way of getting sexual gratification but in my book it can’t compete with actual physical contact - the sights, smells and physical contact.  

[MountMe63]

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

So I don’t think it’s that millennials are any less sexy than anyone else, they have just emerged into a world in which humanity has been trapped in an electronic fishbowl of its own design, and now they can only swim in small, unsatisfying circles.

That is a bullseye. Most of the millennials I know are only interested in how much money they can make, and they want to work as little as possible to get that. They seem only interested in money so they can craft a perfect lifestyle that shows up well on social media.

I've read more than a few articles on the subject lately. It isn't just dating and sex. They are less socially active in everything from bowling leagues, service clubs, voting and civic participation. They don't even have any interest in sports due to the fact that most of them aren't even strongly connected to their own hometowns. If I remember it correctly the article said this probably is the first generation that is actually losing interest in sports. It has never happened before as far as they could tell. 

[ErosWired]

57 minutes ago, MountMe63 said:

That is a bullseye. Most of the millennials I know are only interested in how much money they can make, and they want to work as little as possible to get that. They seem only interested in money so they can craft a perfect lifestyle that shows up well on social media.

I've read more than a few articles on the subject lately. It isn't just dating and sex. They are less socially active in everything from bowling leagues, service clubs, voting and civic participation. They don't even have any interest in sports due to the fact that most of them aren't even strongly connected to their own hometowns. If I remember it correctly the article said this probably is the first generation that is actually losing interest in sports. It has never happened before as far as they could tell. 

A friend of mine recently told me, “Our generation (GenX) is the last generation capable of entertaining themselves.” She was speaking in the context of reading books and other activities that require long investments of attention and more cognitive or physical effort, but she may be right. What happens if suddenly there were no electricity? I know my GenZ kids would find things to do because we live in a more rural area and we emphasized other things, but I can see many having a significant problem.

Something that underscores this is the increasing frequency of times when I’ll get a hit on one of the apps saying, ‘wyd’, and I tell them what I’m doing, then ask ‘How about you?” And they reply, “Bored.” So they’ve lost the skills to stimulate themselves offline, and now they’re growing so oversaturated and desensitized to what they find online that nothing online stimulates them either.

When one watches pornography, many find that it takes increasingly extreme depictions to elicit the same level of titillation, just like drug use, until at last there’s nothing available with the power to move them, and the dull hunger becomes impossible to relieve. I fear a gradual increase of anxiety, impulsiveness, and even violence over time as humanity’s addiction to online content becomes unmanageable.

[Sharp-edge]

3 hours ago, MountMe63 said:

That is a bullseye. Most of the millennials I know are only interested in how much money they can make, and they want to work as little as possible to get that. They seem only interested in money so they can craft a perfect lifestyle that shows up well on social media.

I regret to admit that it feels you are right. Was it always like that? I have the feeling that everybody talks about money. I see tens of stupid IG profiles about how a stupid almost sexy guy now has a laborgini and is somewhere in Dubai and wants to share that advice. Everybody wanting to be a dermatologist (among medical students) because of well.. money. Everything revolves around money. I'm not rich but come on there are other things in life to crave.

 

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

Something that underscores this is the increasing frequency of times when I’ll get a hit on one of the apps saying, ‘wyd’, and I tell them what I’m doing, then ask ‘How about you?” And they reply, “Bored.” So they’ve lost the skills to stimulate themselves offline, and now they’re growing so oversaturated and desensitized to what they find online that nothing online stimulates them either.

 

I always liked to chat with older guys in my first days of the internet. These guys could hold great conversations. And I'm not talking about have me fall for them. You could even make friends. Now it feels like talking to a half-finished AI-based creature.

[NWUSHorny]

Interesting article, the section that caught my eye was about asexuality. I'm not sure add quality is a growing phenomenon, but more related the lessening of societal pressure to get married and procreate. I suspect in the recent past, most of the asexuals succumbed to that pressure and found themselves in either sexless marriages or ones that engaged in very infrequent sexual activity. Another thing that caught my attention was the 1st person mentioned in the article was from Seattle and she was apparently wondering if she might be asexual. Based on my personal experience with gay hookup culture the Pacific Northwest has long had a high percentage of asexuals, but asexuals that craved physically intimate contact without actually engaging in sex. I'm at the older end of gen-X and discovered when I moved to PNW in 2007, that gen-X and the baby boomers were a lot less interested in the physical sex act than anywhere else I had ever lived, the Internet has no doubt allowed attitudes about sex that were once regional phenomenon spread to some extent around the world. So having someone from this area as the lead subject of the article made me at least question the veracity of the findings.

I've also noticed a proliferation of professional porn where the participants are naked and engage in various fetish activities but do not actually engage in the physical act of sex, I've often wondered whether this kind of porn has a market outside the PNW, but will definitely watch to see if this kind of porn is playing at gay hookup venues while I'm  in Southern California over the next couple of weeks, the no sex act porn was playing on most of the monitors at the gay bathhouse in Portland that I was at last night. Is anyone else seeing fetish porn like this being shown in your local area?

[NWUSHorny]

19 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

I regret to admit that it feels you are right. Was it always like that? I have the feeling that everybody talks about money. I see tens of stupid IG profiles about how a stupid almost sexy guy now has a laborgini and is somewhere in Dubai and wants to share that advice. Everybody wanting to be a dermatologist (among medical students) because of well.. money. Everything revolves around money. I'm not rich but come on there are other things in life to crave.

The fascination with money is an age old problem, and people willing to share how they became wealthy for a fee has been around just as long. "Get Rich Quick" scams are nothing new, you will find ads for them going back to the begining of printed media.

[Spunkinmyarse]

This whole topic is coming up ever more frequently in conversations with my fellow Gen-X contemporaries. I’m currently on sexcation in Gran Canaria, and this year more than ever I’ve noticed that the only guys really going for it seem to be ones aged 45 and up. There are very few young guys in the sex clubs, and those that do find their way inside one seem unwilling and/or unable to play, not only with us old-timers, but even amongst themselves. Same with the Dunes. I thought that maybe it was all happening online, but I had a 25-year-old friend staying with me for a few days, and he found there wasn’t a lot going on there either. I did accompany him one Saturday night to the big ‘disco’-style gay bar (Mykonos) and its after-hours sister club (Mantrix), just to see what was happening outside my own cum-soaked bubble: plenty of younger gay guys in evidence there, all partying away with their female friends, so they obviously haven’t disappeared completely. But interestingly, the dark rooms in both clubs were completely dead: it’s clear that sex just isn’t a priority for these guys.

I think it’s a shame for us and for them. I enjoy playing with guys my age and older, but diversity is always a good thing, and it would be fun if some younger guys got back in the game. And I really do think they are missing out on one of the great joys in life, and will be somewhat stunted as human beings for the lack of it.

I suppose in an effort to minimize the kind of historical sexual abuse that we’re all so painfully aware of these days, these kids have had it drilled into them that they should respect their own bodies and the bodies of those around them. But I think this has unwittingly led to the demonization of all sexual activity. Add to that regular bouts of hysteria about STI’s, etc- and it’s not surprising that young people view sex as dangerous and dirty, and something to be avoided. A new form of puritanism is being born, and although thankfully I don’t feel that at the moment younger generations are in any way judgmental about the disgraceful activities indulged in by their elders, I do fear that that day may come.

Edited January 29 by Spunkinmyarse

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, Spunkinmyarse said:

I suppose in an effort to minimize the kind of historical sexual abuse that we’re all so painfully aware of these days, these kids have had it drilled into them that they should respect their own bodies and the bodies of those around them. But I think this has unwittingly led to the demonization of all sexual activity. Add to that regular bouts of hysteria about STI’s, etc- and it’s not surprising that young people view sex as dangerous and dirty, and something to be avoided. A new form of puritanism is being born, and although thankfully I don’t feel that at the moment younger generations are in any way judgmental about the disgraceful activities indulged in by their elders, I do fear that that day may come.

This is insightful, and I think likely correct. A movement to promote respectful conduct has instead become a source of condemnation and shaming to the point that people are now afraid to act upon natural attraction. I’ve noticed of late increasingly that what would once have simply been observed as a man’s attraction to a woman is now seen as ‘creepy’ - that is, any attraction not specifically wanted is therefore creepy and wrong.

I’m just hoping I’m dead before civilization becomes unrecognizable.

[JamesL100]

Presumably with no sex there is no need for them to take PreP and there will be zero new infections with HIV and STIs?

[hntnhole]

On 1/28/2024 at 6:19 AM, Sharp-edge said:

Nobody seems to care meeting people.

I don't think the trend you're referring to is limited to guys hunting for sex.  Given the advent of so-called "social media", there's far too many folks (in the general population) that have somehow translated in their minds that online communication, or merely reading posts on their telephones supplants the need for human interaction.  All of us need each other, meaning not just raw guys, but everyone, and impersonal commentary over the ether simply cannot fulfill that need.  

To the above quote:  so-called "social media" is unable to fulfill that very necessary human need.  These folks that spend hours a day on social media are denying themselves of actually "meeting"- interacting others, in-the-flesh.  There's no substitute for actually interacting with others, most of all over (anti) social media. It's like we (meaning everyone who overly uses the falsely-named "social" media providers) is depending on a puff of smoke to fulfill a basic human need.  

I wonder if some of these people could go more than an hour (I mean being awake) without fooling with their damned phone ....