Bottoms who are NOT into being someone's lil' bitch :-)

[nightelf]

I treat my bottoms really nice. I kiss them. I eat their hole. I dont slam my cock in. I let them adjust to its size. I start off slow when I fuck until theyve loosened up. however. they are servicing my cock.....but I in turn, am servicing their cunt. This thread sounds like a bitch session for Womens Lib. and frankly I dont hook up with versatile dudes. I dont understand them and theyre too aggressive. and believe me. most tops will fit into my line of thinking more than yours. I dont want a submissive, but I do want a bottom. I dont want a top trapped in a bottoms body whose mad at the fact that he's not the boss in the bedroom. oh and lastly, there have been bottoms who have pussywipped me to where Id do just about anything to get into their hole. so whos really in charge there?

I like a man who knows the meaning of the word (respect). We all should learn to respect each other a bit more. Obviously, this man has learned to be a a "gentleman" as well as a breeder, and I would assume that affords him a greater number of willing fucks. Real men, do not have to be: rude, cut down, or insult others to get where they are in life. BDSM - and roleplay (with degredation), is one thing .. but . . in day to day life there is no need to be disrespectful. Im' with Whtbt4blkck. He does sound like a great man to get to know.

Im going stay one thing here fast as it really belongs in another topic. I have a Bear-Leather-Dom., I am Cub for . He is quite gifted, and is in some of my photos. The gent, is quite well endowed and is in fact 9x6. When he was younger, he used to get teased and called freak and monster. As he got older, men began to just, (use) him for his size. My daddy-Bear loves me, for the fact, that I treat him well and love him and what he has. I appreciate him for it in part. . but I also appreciate, that he is a human being, with feelings and thoughts. . and not just some sex toy. If I wanted cock, without a soul, I would go to the bathouse, or video-booths. . . but to have a man in front of you and to interact, I always remember. . he has needs, desires. .feelings too. . he's a human in front of me.

[discjuian]

Hmm, I like the versatile bottom. Bit submissive, bit aggressive. Gives very nice sex

[PhoenixGeoff]

I wont even justify that stupid remark with anything other than to say its a stupid remark.

Fine, you like treating men like women then. And a certain kind of woman (obviously not the liberated feminist type). I can see the attraction to that. You still get to conform more closely to male roles. Your masculinity isn't quite as threatened. You get to introduce a little romance. You can even answer the question if some straight guy asks you, "So which one's the woman?"

But frankly, your description of what you like to do in your post read like a Harlequin romance.

Personally, I've never seen the point of treating other guys like women or effeminacy or submission or any kind of gay relationship that doesn't celebrate the masculine nature of all of the participants. But then again, I've kind of dove into this whole homosexuality thing whole hog, which means that I like all parties involved to be aggressive and masculine and all that stuff.

And that's not everyone's thing, and that's cool. De gustibus non disputandum.

[tradiemason]

Gotta agree with most of the comments ! Pushy power bottom here I have real good muscle control over me hole so I can give the type of ride that both me n me fuckers want n can usually control the fuck as I am reasonably big n powerfull but sumtimes I just like to let meself go n bend over n take what they got either way all I want is there cocks n loads (_0_)

[subbytch]

My experience? The majority of tops of who "live" being an Alpha Male in their day-to-day life, treating everyone they encounter in the world like a "bitch", aren't really that great in the bedroom. Dominating someone during sex requires some ability to identify with the bottom. Most people who go through life oblivious to the needs of others can't really provide the kind of intense sexplay that most sub bottoms are looking for.

There's an art to being a Alpha Male / Dom Top. Most, though, are just painting with crayons.

[cam1972]

Personally, I've never seen the point of treating other guys like women or effeminacy or submission or any kind of gay relationship that doesn't celebrate the masculine nature of all of the participants. But then again, I've kind of dove into this whole homosexuality thing whole hog, which means that I like all parties involved to be aggressive and masculine and all that stuff.

Exactly. I'm a man. I'm masculine. I don't identify with being a woman. Except I like to spread my legs for cock. I'm no less a man than the top is. Don't call my asshole a pussy. Or a cunt. It's a fuck hole or asshole. I do tend not to be as aggressive as I would like to be at times. But I'll sure as hell be begging for the top to pound me harder. You may have your cock inside of me, but don't think for a minute it makes me your bitch. I allowed you inside. Just as you allowed me to have your cock. It's mutual. Again: Role play? Fine. But truly thinking I'm your bitch? L.M.F.A.O. I'm going to walk away from the fuck as much a man as any other man in that room. And I will still be my own man at that. Not someone's bitch.

[TigerMilner]

I treat my bottoms really nice. I kiss them. I eat their hole. I dont slam my cock in. I let them adjust to its size. I start off slow when I fuck until theyve loosened up. however. they are servicing my cock.....but I in turn, am servicing their cunt. This thread sounds like a bitch session for Womens Lib. and frankly I dont hook up with versatile dudes. I dont understand them and theyre too aggressive. and believe me. most tops will fit into my line of thinking more than yours. I dont want a submissive, but I do want a bottom. I dont want a top trapped in a bottoms body whose mad at the fact that he's not the boss in the bedroom. oh and lastly, there have been bottoms who have pussywipped me to where Id do just about anything to get into their hole. so whos really in charge there?

I agree wholeheartedly with Thick. I can be submissive if I feel that is what will turn you on, but more importantly, I am a bottom. Yes I may be servicing your cock, but like Thick pointed out, you are servicing my hole. I need that as much as you need to fuck, to dominate. When I'm just looking for loads a vers guy will do and I do fuck with them all the time, but when I want more than just a load, I want a man like Thick.

 

I think the issue that has so many guys up at arms, is when tops mistake dominance for brutality. A real man does not need to hurt me in order for me to submit to him. Though I am more attracted to men who I know could hurt me. Like it or not guys, if you are sucking a man's dick or offering up your ass to him to fuck, you are submitting to him. He is dominant over you. No, you are not less than him nor do you deserve to be mistreated, but you are indeed being submissive. You are allowing him inside you. And the reality of it is that you are in a woman's role at that point whether you have a cock and think you are just as masculine as he is or not. Its just nature.

 

I also know that there are Alpha Bottoms. Guys who are very aggressive about getting cock inside them. I know guys like that. But fortunately, their are tops out there who are just not Alpha. Hopefully, the two will cross paths. Personally, I am not turned on to guys who are tops but are not aggressive enough to make me want to bend over for them. I always liken my sexual orientations to my basic survival instincts. I want a man who is stronger than me, bigger than me and capable of fending off a wild beast that otherwise might take me out. I don't want a man who will run the other way leaving me to be devoured.

[cam1972]

I agree wholeheartedly with Thick. I can be submissive if I feel that is what will turn you on, but more importantly, I am a bottom. Yes I may be servicing your cock, but like Thick pointed out, you are servicing my hole. I need that as much as you need to fuck, to dominate. When I'm just looking for loads a vers guy will do and I do fuck with them all the time, but when I want more than just a load, I want a man like Thick.

 

I think the issue that has so many guys up at arms, is when tops mistake dominance for brutality. A real man does not need to hurt me in order for me to submit to him. Though I am more attracted to men who I know could hurt me. Like it or not guys, if you are sucking a man's dick or offering up your ass to him to fuck, you are submitting to him. He is dominant over you. No, you are not less than him nor do you deserve to be mistreated, but you are indeed being submissive. You are allowing him inside you. And the reality of it is that you are in a woman's role at that point whether you have a cock and think you are just as masculine as he is or not. Its just nature.

 

I also know that there are Alpha Bottoms. Guys who are very aggressive about getting cock inside them. I know guys like that. But fortunately, their are tops out there who are just not Alpha. Hopefully, the two will cross paths. Personally, I am not turned on to guys who are tops but are not aggressive enough to make me want to bend over for them. I always liken my sexual orientations to my basic survival instincts. I want a man who is stronger than me, bigger than me and capable of fending off a wild beast that otherwise might take me out. I don't want a man who will run the other way leaving me to be devoured.

 

Tiger, your statement I can totally agree with. It's the guys who think they have to be brutal that bother me. And treat me as sub-human. I fucking love a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. I am a follower much more than a leader. And I do agree with the submissive nature that the bottom takes on in doing the acts. I don't at all mind submitting to their desires and needs. I just don't think this makes me their bitch, so to speak. I love the dom/sub roles when done in a manner where we both know that both of our desires/needs are being met. I'll admit that I'm most turned on when the top takes control. Knows what he is doing. No question. Just so he knows that without bottoms, he wouldn't get his needs met. It's give and take on both parts. I'm much more kinky than I let on in my posts. (Hell... I've had a top flick cigarette ashes on my back while I sucked him and it made me hard as fuck. But he asked me after the first flick if I was ok before he did it again.) Maybe I need to come to terms with my more piggy side. No.. I KNOW I need to come to terms with it. But I've had too many of the type where brutality = dominance. And I'm thinking that has messed up my ideas along the lines of dom/sub roles. I'm thinking I need to find a guy to help me along those lines.. That's a journey I definitely wouldn't mind taking.

[TigerMilner]

This thread has me thinking. Some have made the comparison of submissive bottoms to women. I'm not sure I answered that point in my first post. Let me simplify. The Golden Girls is a gay icon TV show ( something I really don't get but that is besides the point). Some bottoms are Betty Whites, some bottoms are Rue McClanahans, and then their are the alpha bottoms, Bea Arthur.

 

With this analogy, who do you think gets more cock?

 

Bottom line is their are all different types of bottoms just like their are all different types of tops.

 

I'm just glad I'm not a Bea Arthur, and I think my men are glad too.

[cam1972]

I've been rethinking the submissive nature of being a bottom idea. I suppose then that when the top sucks his bottom, he's being submissive also........... I think the submissive nature is only in the aspect of Dom/sub roles. In a loving relationship: it's an act of love. Period. We didn't fight for equality for nothing. And neither did the feminist movement. I think they might disagree with that thought as well. I get what you are saying, but a blanket statement doesn't work here. And now I wish I hadn't posted this since I'm not fully awake and just. don't. feel. it's. worth. it.... :-/

Edited October 7, 2015 by cam1972

[gaynudist61]

I am a bottom who would refuse to be someones bitch

[nelliess]

It's generally a case of people, both doms and subs, having a personal definition of what these terms mean that other's probably don't have. To me a dom is a guy who will take charge during sex as that is what their partner wants and needs. They're not a guy who is selfish and bullying, that's just being a douche. I would class myself as mostly sub, but to my mind that's not the same as passive. I won't let a guy do anything to me I don't want them to, but I do want them to be sure of what they're doing and what they want. And if they aren't going hard or deep enough I'll grab them and make them.

 

I don't think that identifying as sub is a particularly 'feminine' attitude. It's a guy who knows what he wants from the guy who's fucking him and who wants to give themselves to the moment.

 

Edited to add: God, I love this site for being able to have discussions like this.

Edited October 7, 2015 by nelliess

[cam1972]

It's generally a case of people, both doms and subs, having a personal definition of what these terms mean that other's probably don't have. To me a dom is a guy who will take charge during sex as that is what their partner wants and needs. They're not a guy who is selfish and bullying, that's just being a douche. I would class myself as mostly sub, but to my mind that's not the same as passive. I won't let a guy do anything to me I don't want them to, but I do want them to be sure of what they're doing and what they want. And if they aren't going hard or deep enough I'll grab them and make them.

 

I don't think that identifying as sub is a particularly 'feminine' attitude. It's a guy who knows what he wants from the guy who's fucking him and who wants to give themselves to the moment.

 

Edited to add: God, I love this site for being able to have discussions like this.

Next time I want to say something and say it right, I'm gonna ask you to write it. Thank you. Well stated.

[subbytch]

Exactly. I'm a man. I'm masculine. I don't identify with being a woman. Except I like to spread my legs for cock. I'm no less a man than the top is. Don't call my asshole a pussy. Or a cunt. It's a fuck hole or asshole. I do tend not to be as aggressive as I would like to be at times. But I'll sure as hell be begging for the top to pound me harder. You may have your cock inside of me, but don't think for a minute it makes me your bitch. I allowed you inside. Just as you allowed me to have your cock. It's mutual. Again: Role play? Fine. But truly thinking I'm your bitch? L.M.F.A.O. I'm going to walk away from the fuck as much a man as any other man in that room. And I will still be my own man at that. Not someone's bitch.

I understand what you are saying, I think. Unlike you, I love having my ass be called a pussy or a cunt. I love being called a little a bitch or a faggot during sex. Why? Because I don't have (or want) a pussy or a cunt, I'm not a bitch, and I'd punch any asshole who called me a faggot in real life.

During sex, I love that kind of degradation. I love the mind fuck. I love the the roughness of it. The illicitness of it. Even the wrongness of it. For a moment, with consenting people who -- hopefully -- would never think to do such things to others in real life, it's amazingly intimate and awesomely sexually charged.

I think there's a line between "what's okay in the bedroom" and "what's okay outside the bedroom." I know there are some people here, top or bottom, who like having the two realms be the same. I'm not one of those people. If, however, we've agreed to play together, then we can take a hell of a lot of the strictures off and fuck and mind-fuck for as long as we can manage.

[PhoenixGeoff]

Damn!  This is sure one hell of an old thread that got resurrected!

 

I agree wholeheartedly with Thick. I can be submissive if I feel that is what will turn you on, but more importantly, I am a bottom. Yes I may be servicing your cock, but like Thick pointed out, you are servicing my hole. I need that as much as you need to fuck, to dominate. When I'm just looking for loads a vers guy will do and I do fuck with them all the time, but when I want more than just a load, I want a man like Thick.

 

I also know that there are Alpha Bottoms. Guys who are very aggressive about getting cock inside them. I know guys like that. But fortunately, their are tops out there who are just not Alpha. Hopefully, the two will cross paths. Personally, I am not turned on to guys who are tops but are not aggressive enough to make me want to bend over for them. I always liken my sexual orientations to my basic survival instincts. I want a man who is stronger than me, bigger than me and capable of fending off a wild beast that otherwise might take me out. I don't want a man who will run the other way leaving me to be devoured.

 

First off, let me quote Thick directly:  "but I in turn, am servicing their cunt."  I don't know about you, but straight guy who talked about his wife or girlfriend (or hell, even any self-respecting hooker) in those terms would get his face slapped.  And be sleeping on the couch.  I'll be damned if anyone refers to me that way (or any of my friends, if I'm in earshot).  If that's the kind of romance you want, to be someone's "cunt," well, I suppose you can have it, though I'll question your definition of the word "romance".

 

So let's talk about what it means to be homosexual here.  That means sexual and/or romantic attraction to people of the same gender as you.  Right there, that suggests that gender matters.  After all, why go through the grief of being gay if men and women are interchangeable? 

 

And because gender matters, because they are different, that suggests that relationships between two men will necessarily be different than relationships between a man and a woman (and both different than between two women).  That right there tells us that trying to map a male/female matrix onto a relationship between two men is a fool's errand.  That's exactly why the old question, "Which one's the woman?" is so ignorant.  The correct answer is "Neither; we're both men—what are you, some kind of idiot?"

 

Now you're expressing a desire to take on a woman's role (your words) in your relationships.  Fair enough.  But we have words for people like that:  MTF transsexuals or transgendered or trans-women.  And perhaps that's what you are, to some degree or another.

 

Which takes me to one of my pet peeves:  the confusion of sexual orientation with gender identity.  To my way of thinking, they are best thought of as two mathematical axes.  Whether you're attracted to men or women (or both to whatever degree) has absolutely nothing whatsoever with whether you identify as male or female (or somewhere in between—that's another pet peeve: these are both properly understood as continua, not binary options). 

 

Thick seems to identify as a man.  His attraction to other men seems to be colored by a desire to reenact heterosexual roles.  He's expressed a disinterest in men who act in masculine ways.  That suggests either a little bisexuality, a little further along the continuum from the straight guy who likes "chicks with dicks".  And that's fine.

 

But that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of men out there, even bottoms, who identify as 100% male and who attracted to other 100% males.  And that includes everything that goes along with what it means to be a man:  appearance, attitude, relationships, the whole nine yards. 

 

So here's where I'll out myself as thinking that seeing two alpha males clash with each other in a sexual way is pretty much the hottest thing I can possibly imagine.  And I'll also happily concede that rape is rape and a real man knows how not to cross that line.

 

I know it run contrary to this website's raison d'être, but really, the physical mechanics of sex are really the least important part of being gay.  It's all about how you relate to others.