Is There Too Much Simping In the Gay Community?

[BlackDude]

So simping is a concept they I’ve heard of primarily used in the straight community. At its most basic, is it’s a willingness accept an unequal exchange of time, attention and/or resources for the possibility of sexual attention. Some examples may be:

1. Buying a regular at a bar drinks you have interest in, but he never talks to you.

2. Letting men you want to sleep with lie to you about, or avoid the topic of sex with you, but put out for others. 
 

3. Allowing men to tease and giving them money or attention for nothing in return.

4. Subscribing to OF, JF or C pages where it’s clear the guy would never sleep with anyone like you. He may have even made disparaging comments about your kink or subgroup. 
 

5. Always attending events that interest a potential love/sex interest, yet they never attend yours.

6. Feeling like you are more interested in a person than they are about you. They never ask you anything in depth about you and you willingly accept it. 
 

7. Spending money, or providing resources with no sexual return. For example letting a non friend stay in your house rent free or drive your car for free. 
 

8. Willing to be a third wheel, ignored or footing the bill so you can be in the in crowd. 

This doesn’t apply to real friends, or occasional pickup. Usually, simps are in a long term sexual pursuit with no promise of a “payoff.” 

Again, I know this is a straight concept. But the reason simps are mocked in the straight community is they are perceived to have a low sense of self esteem and mess up the sexual order by pedestaling and encouraging narcissistic, misplaced ego driven behavior.

Im wondering if this concept may also apply in the gay community?

[norefusal]

i got the impression that per gay hook up apps, a "simp" refers to the partner who likes to watch his husband get fucked by strangers. 

as for your examples above, none of them seem str8 exclusive so in theory i'm sure they happen w gays.

personally, i can't think of a single example of me doin any, but there are maybe some close calls lol

theres a guy who attends a lot of the same parties i go to who i kinda have a crush on. he's spoken to me in depth about my thoughts and opinions, has fooled around w me but not gone "all the way" yet, etc. i get a bit excited to see he's going to the same event but id still go even if he wasn't.  there's a vague i may like him more than he likes me vibe, but it never crosses over into simp territory like you describe above. 

[Guest]

17 hours ago, BlackDude said:

Im wondering if this concept may also apply in the gay community?

Almost any concept that applies to heteros applies to us homos, divorce and stalking included.

Simp refers to a person who is desperate for the attention and affection of someone else. It applies to all classes of gender irrespective of their sexual affiliation. In financial circles it refers to traders who will give out tips to their favourite trader on the floor just because they want to impress with their knowledge hoping they will be discovered for how good they are. Not happening!

It's just another label that Tiktokers re-discovered when staying at home in the pandemic times. 

As a note, simp is short for simpleton and it is only recognised as a noun. One can make a verb out of it, but it is mostly used as a noun.

[hntnhole]

19 hours ago, BlackDude said:

Im wondering if this concept may also apply in the gay community?

1. I've never heard the term before; thanks to EuRawBull for the definition.

2.  I doubt that very many gay guys would put up with it for more than a few minutes.  

3. The only thing that really separates us from the hets is, we fuck each other, and not them.  Meaning, we're as susceptible to all the vagaries of human existence just like every other group/sub-group.  

4.  Inventing new nicknames for various idiosyncrasies in human behavior is ok, I suppose, but it occurs that the time would be better spent figuring out how to readjust.  

[norefusal]

16 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

 

4.  Inventing new nicknames for various idiosyncrasies in human behavior is ok, I suppose, but it occurs that the time would be better spent figuring out how to readjust.  

no idea what you mean but like bear, twink, top, sub etc it's used as code or shorthand on hook up sites to easily describe kinks sought. 

how do you explain to the potential anon tops you're asking to come NSA breed n go u as your husband watches or films but doesn't participate, and why? simp cuts to the chase. 

i've seen other sought after kinks use it to: like the guys who get pleasure out of one bullying the other to send him $. 

[NWUSHorny]

Probably, and way too many gay, straight and bi who are more than happy to go along with it. Honestly, I think there is a significant percentage of the population that enjoys being abused in this way, but have no actual inclination to actually have sex. 

Edited June 24 by NWUSHorny

[ellentonboy]

I would not participate in any of the activities mentioned above. "Being included because you are willing to pay for it, or allow someone to use your car". WTF?  Sorry I have too much self esteem for that nonsense.

[norefusal]

i suspect that the closest we've all come to being a simp, especially in our youth, is the crush on a str8 friend that bedeviled our days and nights until we were old enough to go out and find a gay community to engage with. 

i was a simp for a str8 friend in college, except that being thirsty for him was a perk, not a motivator. he was a popular kid i used to get inside the cool-kid's clique and improve my social standing. so it was mutually beneficial even if never consummated 😜

[BootmanLA]

Some thoughts, kind of at random:

1. I'm sure this happens, and more often, perhaps, than @hntnhole thinks.

2. There are undoubtedly some people for whom this is a kink, but I think the greater number are people whose self-esteem is such that they feel it's the only way to get the validation they're seeking, even though it's a very superficial kind of validation. I see this mostly among guys who think they're unattractive by any conventional standard and so have to go "above and beyond" to get the validation they seek. (And usually, it fails long-term because they become convinced other people are only interested in them for what they can get, so they blow up those associations, and then the cycle repeats.)

3. I think the phrase that @norefusal was referring to when he wrote "partner who likes to watch his husband get fucked by strangers" is "cuck" (short for cuckold). That's a separate kink.

[yunghungtop]

I have made poor decisions because a bottom had a perfect silky pussy I wanted to use again. If that’s simping I’m guilty. 

[NordicBtm]

I would argue there are simps and Simping in the gay community but to a significantly lesser degree than what you see with women. There is just a level of manipulation that women possess that is greater than any man could since as a gay guy it is simply easier get sex or attention from someone.

So the milder forms of Simping behavior like enabling crazy, getting used as a doormat, allowing rudeness, that all applies to us. But what you see referred to as someone being a simp meaning that for years they are after some girl that there is no hope with I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in the gay community.

[hntnhole]

17 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

1. I'm sure this happens, and more often, perhaps, than @hntnhole thinks.

Shucks .... there's more I haven't experienced than things I have.🙂

I think that's one of my favorite facets of BZ.  I learn a lot about issues I either didn't know existed, or never paid much attention to !!!  

[hntnhole]

11 hours ago, NordicBtm said:

There is just a level of manipulation that women possess that is greater than any man could

I couldn't agree more.  And they start learning it early - when they're just little girls.  

Thank Almighty Whatever for boys that grow up to love dick up their ass!