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Even now I'm not really sure what came over me - but this is the story of what happened.

My name is Paul, and at the time this story begins, I was 27 years old and very happily married to Ryan.  Ryan was the same age as me, and we had been together for six years, and married for four.  I can honestly say I had never been happier - I had never cheated on Ryan and I could never imagine wanting anyone but him.  We were definitely made for each other - though a bit different temperamentally, we had the same values and we enjoyed the same things.  We enjoyed being together and I can honestly say I had never loved anyone the way I loved Ryan.  I loved his sense of humour, his integrity and, of course, his sexy body.  Ryan was smaller than me but quite muscular, with dark hair, a cheeky smile and an arse that made my cock hard every time I looked at it!

I also admired him.  Ryan was a nurse and loved his job - he loved helping people and I knew his smile often made as much difference to his patients as his care did. He also cared passionately about sexual health and worked three hours a week as a volunteer nurse at a sexual health clinic.  I was a consultant in the tech team of a large IT company and, while I earned a lot more money than Ryan, I couldn't help being aware that his job was by far the more valuable.

Ryan and I met through friends a year or two after I finished university.  I liked him straight away and we started seeing each other.  The first time we went out we went for an Italian meal and a drink and then we went back to my flat and fucked. I couldn't wait to get Ryan's pants down and I was really hoping he would want me to fuck him.  He did - and although he explained that he never did it without a condom, we had a truly great fuck and I enjoyed every single minute of it.  We started seeing each other regularly and after six months we moved in together.  We talked about safe sex and Ryan explained how important it was to him and I was happy to fall in with his wishes.

My record on safe sex was, on the whole, quite good - though not of course anything like as good as Ryan's.  I had mostly played safe, but now and then if a fit lad offered me his arse and wanted me to go in bare, I did.  On the whole, I enjoyed fucking without a condom more - but I was careful most of the time.  I was mostly a top - I would say I was a top about 90% of the time - but now and then I liked to take it up the arse.  I especially enjoyed taking it on my back with my legs in the air - I'm not sure why, but there's something really horny about lifting my legs and letting some fit guy bang my arse.

I must admit, I did sometimes take it up the arse without a condom too.  Of course I knew it was risky, but I didn't mind taking a chance now and then, and somehow that added to the excitement.  I remember once about a year or so before I met Ryan, I was at a civil partnership ceremony and got talking to a couple who were at the same table as me.  We got on well and I was getting definite vibes that they might be up for a threesome.  After the meal, we took a walk in the woods behind the hotel where the celebration was taking place.  I had had a few drinks by this time, and was very much in a bottom mood.  I ended up going down on them both and a short time later I was leaning up against a tree, pants and smart trousers at my ankles as first one then the other fucked me hard up the arse.  None of us had condoms so we just went bare and I took both their loads up me.

A few months before I met Ryan, I was assigned a three month project working with an external consultant.  The other guy was a really handsome black guy called Akim.  Akim was the same age as me but a bit more experienced and he led on the project.   I liked Akim, and we got on well, but I didn't think we would have much in common.  He was quite sporty and told me he was a devout Christian.  He also had a girlfriend whom he talked about quite a lot.  However, he wasn't bothered when I told him I was gay and the project got off the ground on schedule.  I also found Akim really attractive and could not help noticing the sizeable bulge that always seemed to be visible at the front of his suit trousers.  I tried hard not to look at it, but I was fairly sure that Akim had noticed my attention wandering to the front of his trousers one night when we were working late together.

A little later on, he told me he had noticed me looking at the front of his trousers and, much to my surprise, asked me if I would like to see what he had inside them.  A short time later, Akim had unzipped his trousers and pulled his pants down to his knees and I was sucking on one of the biggest cocks I had ever had in my mouth.  I sucked him for a while and then he told me that he would love to fuck me.  We didn't have any condoms or any lube - and I knew I could never take a cock that big up my arse without lube, so we contented ourselves with me sucking his cock until he came in my mouth.

The next time we worked late alone,  I let Akim fuck me.  He had said he would bring everything we needed but, although he produced some lube, I was surprised to find that he hadn't brought any condoms.  I wasn't really that bothered though and, to tell the truth, the thought of taking his big cock up my arse without a condom was really turning me on.  I sucked him for  while and then I bent over my desk, my pants and trousers pulled down below my bum and my shirt pushed up my back as Akim fucked me bareback and shot what felt like a huge load right up my arse.

After that, we fucked regularly, mostly with me bent over the desk, but a couple of times I pulled off my shoes, trousers and pants and laid back on the desk in just my shirt and socks, my legs in the air as Akim fucked me and shot another big load up me.

I enjoyed all these encounters very much but, like I said, most of the time I was content to be a top.  This suited Ryan very well - he loved to be fucked, but was not so keen on topping.  For the first months we were together we used condoms and then we decided to get tested and hopefully stop using them.  Our test results came back negative and, on the night of our first anniversary, I fucked Ryan for the first time without a condom.

I can't tell you how good it felt - I had always loved fucking Ryan and tonight his hole felt so much tighter around my dick as I pushed it up his arse and began to fuck.  Ryan was in his favourite position - on his back with his legs over my shoulders - and we didn't hold back.  That night I dumped two loads right up him and in the morning I added a third.  After that, we stopped using condoms.

We were very happy and after a few years we managed to buy a small house together.  It was in a small village outside the town (that was all we could afford) but we really loved it.  When we had been there a few years, our lovely neighbour sold her house and moved out.  The house bordered on to ours at an angle and I was hoping we would get good neighbours in her place.

She told us she had sold the house to a gay couple, one of whom was a solicitor.  She wasn't sure what the other one did.  A few weeks later, they moved in and after a day or so they came over to introduce themselves.  Peter was the solicitor, a small, blond, serious looking guy and the other guy was called Aidan.  Aidan was a stocky, dark haired Irish guy and I have to admit I found him quite attractive.

After they had settled in they invited us over for dinner one Saturday evening.  They were good company and we had a very enjoyable time.  I couldn't help noticing that Aidan had a really fit arse.  I should explain, I am a bit of an arse guy - I think the arse is definitely my favourite part of a guy - and I love nothing more than pulling a guy's arse cheeks apart and sticking my tongue right into his hole. 

Ryan's arse was quite smooth, with just a few hairs around his hole, but I guessed that Aidan's was probably quite hairy - judging by the time he dropped a fork and bent down to pick it up, giving me a really good view of the top of his pants and the crack of his arse. As I said, they were both good company and, although Peter talked of his work quite a bit, I wasn't really sure what Aidan did.  Once or twice during the evening, I thought I caught Aidan glancing at me, and there was something in his glance that made me feel a bit horny.

That night I fucked Ryan hard up the arse and came almost immediately.  We had both had a few drinks and we fell asleep quite quickly, but a few hours later I woke up with a raging hard on.  I nudged Ryan awake and told him I was feeling really horny.  He kissed me and then knelt up on the bed.  I slipped my cock up him easily (he still had my first load in him) and fucked him again until I dumped a second load up him.

The following Saturday evening, we invited Peter and Aidan to dinner with us.  The conversation turned to work and I asked Aidan what he did.  He told me that we wasn't working at the moment as he had been quite ill for a while.  I asked if he was feeling better now and he said he was.  Then he told us that he was HIV positive and, due to complications, had been unable to take meds so was currently unmedicated.  I was really surprised by his honesty and even more so when Peter added that he was negative so they always had to use condoms.

A short time later, the subject was changed, but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about what Aidan had told us.  When we had finished the meal, Ryan poured some more drinks and I cleared the table and took the dishes through to the kitchen.  Aidan said he would give me a hand and joined me in the kitchen.  He smiled at me and said he hoped he hadn't embarrassed us by talking about his HIV.  I said no, of course not, and added that it must be hard always having to use condoms.

"Ah well," said Aidan, "It would be," he lowered his voice, "if I always used them!"

"Oh," I said confused, "I thought Peter said you always use condoms."

"I do always use condoms,"  said Aidan and then, lowering his voice he added "when I'm with Peter!"   He winked at me and, just for a moment, rested his hand on my arse.  I could feel myself blushing and I hoped that Aidan wouldn't notice the fact that my dick was suddenly getting hard in my pants.  

A short time later we were safely back out with Ryan and Peter and we had a few more drinks.  I was sure I could feel Aidan looking at me from time to time and I tried hard not to look back at him.  When we got home, Ryan asked me if I was alright and said I had seemed a bit distracted as the evening went on.  I assured him I was fine and that night in bed, we fucked.  We were both horny, and enjoyed a great fuck.  Ryan ran his hand down my arse crack as I fucked him and then, as he sometimes did, he pushed his finger against my arsehole.  He pushed his finger in to my hole as I fucked him and a short time later I came right up his arse.

The next morning, Ryan was working and I had a lie in.  I woke up with a hard on and began to play with myself.  I wondered what Aidan had meant the night before when he said that he always used condoms with Peter.  I guessed that he meant he sometimes fucked with other guys and did not use condoms, despite being HIV positive and not on meds.  I was wanking now as I imagined what Aidan's cock would look like - I imagined it would be big and hairy.  I took hold of my cock and began to really wank myself as I imagined Aidan pulling off his trousers and pants and squatting over me so that I could push my tongue up his hairy arse.

As I said earlier, I'm mostly a top, but I liked to be fucked now and then and Ryan was really not into topping so I hadn't been fucked for a long time.  Ryan pushing his finger up my arse had really turned me on and now I began to wonder what it would be like to be fucked by Aidan.  I was wanking harder now, as I imagined spreading my legs so that Aidan could fuck me.  Then I thought he might want to fuck me without a condom even though he was HIV positive and not on meds and somehow this thought turned me on even more.  Just as I imagined Aidan pushing his bare cock into my arse, I shot my load all over myself.

A couple of months went by.  We socialised with Peter and Aidan now and then and a few times I saw Aidan working in the garden - their garden joined ours at an angle so I had a perfect view.  Sometimes I would watch Aidan discreetly as he worked in the garden - he still wasn't working at that point - and I loved seeing him bend over and show his arse crack.  I was wanking all the time now when Ryan was at work - I hadn't masturbated so much since I was a teenager - and if I'm being honest, most of the time I was thinking about Aidan

One time I was watching Aidan doing some work in the garden out of our bedroom window.  He was wearing shorts and a black top and I had a great view of his hairy arms and legs.  I caught sight of his arse crack a couple of times and began to play with my cock.  I was fairly sure he didn't know I was watching as he stepped up to the wall and pulled out his dick.  Almost immediately he began to piss hard against the wall, standing back from the wall spraying his piss up and down.  I watched fascinated as he finished pissing and, instead of putting his dick back in his shorts, he began to play with it.   He was hard now and began to play with his cock - it was just as I had imagined - big and hairy.  I pushed my hand into my pants and began to play with my cock as I watched Aidan wanking.  I was still confident he didn't know I was watching and a few minutes later I could tell he was getting close.  Aidan wanked his cock a few more times and then turned and looked straight at me as he wanked a huge load of cum out in front of himself.   That was too much for me and I shot my load into the front of my pants.  Then Aidan winked at me and went back into the house.

I didn't know what to think - I had been caught watching Aidan - I don't think I had ever felt so mortified, but I also don't think I had ever felt so turned on - my cock was rock hard, even though I had just shot a load.

I suddenly thought of something and opened the bottom drawer of Ryan's chest.  I wondered if what I was looking for would still be there, but under some pairs of pants, I found it.  It was a large rubber dildo - thick and about seven inches long.  It was Ryan's from when he was single and we had kept it to use for fun.  I had used it on Ryan quite a few times and once or twice he had used it on me, although we hadn't played with it for a while.

I pulled off my pants, trousers and socks and bent over the bed.  I rubbed some lube on my hole and then pushed the dildo gently against my arsehole.  I hadn't been fucked for a long time and it hurt going in to my arse but I really wanted it - I needed to be fucked!

I pushed the dildo slowly right up my arse and began to fuck myself with it.  I remembered bending over the desk for Akim, the IT guy, and tried to think of him.  I also tried hard to think of Ryan, and imagine it was him standing behind me, but my thoughts kept turning to Aidan.

I fucked myself for a while, and then I pulled the cock out my arse, laid back on the bed, and raised my legs.  I pushed the dildo back up my arse.  This was how I wanted Aidan to fuck me - on my back with my legs in the air - and I didn't want him to use a condom.  I wanted him to push his bare cock up my arse and fuck me. I was fucking myself really hard now as I thought how much I wanted Aidan to cum in me.  I knew that would probably mean he would give me HIV, but just at that moment I wanted him to give it to me.  I wanted that big, hairy cock to cum in my arse and get me pregnant.  I wanted him to give me a baby!

As I thought this I shot one of the biggest loads of my life all over myself.  I had finally admitted to myself that I wanted Aidan to knock me up - I wanted him to poz my cunt!

But I knew I would never do it.

Would I?

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