Time to find hookups

[NWUSHorny]

How many of you find your circumstances make it difficult to find time to hookup for a casual fuck?

I mostly hookup when I travel usually for work, and while I seem to have a natural instinct for sniffing out cruising spots and fuck venues, the demands of the job and the travel itself often finds me too tired to act at 56, a lot more frequently than I did when I was in my 30's and 40's. I do have some fuckbuds scattered around the country, but still prefer to go out and look for new experiences and a definite preference for group sex.

Where I live, even casual hookups take a long courtship, only to find out we don't even have a common definition of what it means to have sex. Fuckbuds are also a problem, most of them have told me I'm too intense or that they are scared of how slutty I am.

[barefucker44]

3 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

How many of you find your circumstances make it difficult to find time to hookup for a casual fuck?

I mostly hookup when I travel usually for work, and while I seem to have a natural instinct for sniffing out cruising spots and fuck venues, the demands of the job and the travel itself often finds me too tired to act at 56, a lot more frequently than I did when I was in my 30's and 40's. I do have some fuckbuds scattered around the country, but still prefer to go out and look for new experiences and a definite preference for group sex.

Where I live, even casual hookups take a long courtship, only to find out we don't even have a common definition of what it means to have sex. Fuckbuds are also a problem, most of them have told me I'm too intense or that they are scared of how slutty I am.

I agree, sometimes it is easier to find guys on the road.

[Pumpinmyhole]

Most of my hookups happen when I travel also. When I'm bidding for my next month's schedule, I'll look for specific cities that I know guys who I can get together with.  If not, then I look for trips with long layovers.  

When I get my schedule, I'll then plan which trips I'm going try being slutty.  But even if it's a long layover but arrives later in the evening, I already know that most guys online after 10pm are partying, so it's going to be difficult.  And downtown hotels in any city are a problem with parking.  And even with factoring in all of this, the length of my duty day and what time I had to report that morning are going to play into it.  

My last long layover I had I woke up at 3am, on the road at 4am, report time was 5:30am.  I was in my hotel room by 3:30pm which was a perfect time for the "I'm married and want to dump a load before going home" guys.  But I was just too beat.  I opted for an early dinner and a couple of martinis instead.  

I'm actually in PDX this Saturday, but landing at 9pm.  By the time I get checked in and ready to play it'd be 11:30 at the earliest.  Not going to try Steam or Hawks at that hour on a Saturday...I expect too many "party" guys.  I'll try online and I'll offer to host or Uber a few miles and see what happens.  But I don't have high hopes at that time of night.  Fingers crossed.

[NWUSHorny]

4 hours ago, barefucker44 said:

I agree, sometimes it is easier to find guys on the road.

Actually I didn't hookup very often on the road until I moved here. I was traveling a lot when I lived in Denver, but mostly hooked up when I was home on the weekends and knew exactly where to go to find like minded guys. After 18 years in Portland, I'm pretty sure those kind of places don't exist here.

[NWUSHorny]

4 hours ago, Pumpinmyhole said:

Most of my hookups happen when I travel also. When I'm bidding for my next month's schedule, I'll look for specific cities that I know guys who I can get together with.  If not, then I look for trips with long layovers.  

When I get my schedule, I'll then plan which trips I'm going try being slutty.  But even if it's a long layover but arrives later in the evening, I already know that most guys online after 10pm are partying, so it's going to be difficult.  And downtown hotels in any city are a problem with parking.  And even with factoring in all of this, the length of my duty day and what time I had to report that morning are going to play into it.  

My last long layover I had I woke up at 3am, on the road at 4am, report time was 5:30am.  I was in my hotel room by 3:30pm which was a perfect time for the "I'm married and want to dump a load before going home" guys.  But I was just too beat.  I opted for an early dinner and a couple of martinis instead.  

I'm actually in PDX this Saturday, but landing at 9pm.  By the time I get checked in and ready to play it'd be 11:30 at the earliest.  Not going to try Steam or Hawks at that hour on a Saturday...I expect too many "party" guys.  I'll try online and I'll offer to host or Uber a few miles and see what happens.  But I don't have high hopes at that time of night.  Fingers crossed.

Your travel is different from mine. I work in IT consulting and usually get sent to the same city or cities for an entire week for months on end. At least I haven't been stuck going to other sexless cities here in the PNW recently. Since I work week days, evenings and weekends are pretty much the only time I have to hookup when I'm at home in Portland. You are correct that the drug use definitely plays a role in the difficulty here, you can completely forget about trying to have sex with the guys that head to the baths after the bars close, it simply doesn't happen here.

[NordicBtm]

1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

Your travel is different from mine. I work in IT consulting and usually get sent to the same city or cities for an entire week for months on end. At least I haven't been stuck going to other sexless cities here in the PNW recently. Since I work week days, evenings and weekends are pretty much the only time I have to hookup when I'm at home in Portland. You are correct that the drug use definitely plays a role in the difficulty here, you can completely forget about trying to have sex with the guys that head to the baths after the bars close, it simply doesn't happen here.

I have a few fixed buds where I live. Two of them I meet regularly to fuck and breed, often in 3somes one of them likes to arrange ( he loves watching me get fucked and bred). Then a slew of a few others including a sexy couple that dicks me down. So I am rarely on the apps at home anymore as you point out it’s often a waste of time or some bullshit courtship that leads to nothing. On the road it’s obviously a lot easier, where guys that are into slutty and / or hairy guys usually immediately message me, or I spend a little time testing the waters and it usually isn’t long before success. It also helps to be somewhere not for one or two nights but a week or so - then you can usually meet guys that can only meet certain times etc.

[PozBearWI]

Everything slowed down now that I am poz and unmedicated.  Not sure if or when I'll start meds, but it will be interesting when I can put undetectable in my profile.  

[viking8x6]

Absolutely hooking up is a pain, and I agree that it's easier when I'm traveling.

That said, I'm not at all sure it isn't a shift in my perspective. I can remember spending uncounted hours in empty cruisy restrooms, waiting for actual gay men to come by. Heard a lot of straight guys taking a piss. I'll probably regret that on my deathbed. 

I find online apps astonishingly useless, especially when (as now) I'm in a situation where I can't host. Time for cleaning out is also a Catch 22 - it's either spend that time up front and risk no hookup happening (likely outcome) or don't spend it up front and not be ready for "right now", thereby losing a possible hookup. And all that is with a profile with pictures (including face) and details of what I like and don't (which often people simply ignore). 

I surely do miss Buena Vista Park!

[PozBearWI]

Spot on description of my current experience.

 

[hntnhole]

I'm really sorry to know that you guys are having such a tough time finding what we all need. 

Wish I had a somewhat decent alternative for the dilemma .... 

[norefusal]

i find all of these seemingly contradictory experiences to be true: 

- there are way more "bi-curious" guys now than there was back during the AIDS crisis. i've had so much gay sex w str8 guys in recent years it's crazy 

- i don't know what happened to all the gays, but they don't seem to go out as much as they used to. Bars, ABS, bathhouses, cruising parks: they're all "dead" compared to how things were in 80s/90s 

- the Apps are literally a free-for-all junk-drawer for everything from sex addicts to celibate rubberneckers 

- pre-prep every tom dick or harry was a total top 

-post-prep every man is america is somehow an insatible cum/dump keepin score of how many loads he can take in one night. load counting has literally replaced sex as no one seems to be able to live in the moment and enjoy the actual fucking 

- younger guys are experiencing much greater acceptance and freedom that we did

- younger guys seem to think porn is regular sex. if you're not getting choked of being shit on, are you even fucking? 

- guys self identify as "goons". i'm trying not to yuck other people's yums but if i was content to just jerk off to porn alone all day i'd see it as a wake-up call 

- we used to move to big cities so we can live surrounded by other fags. today, the apps tell you which of your neighbors are gay, but none of them will talk to you. nobody wants to shit where they eat so they send DMs to guys on the other side of the country 

- everybody hooks up w strangers on trips. fresh meat meets noncommittal  sex. you don't have to pretend you don't recognize him if you actually left town 😜

[NWUSHorny]

1 hour ago, viking8x6 said:

I surely do miss Buena Vista Park!

I think something similar is true for a lot of us, I know I lived in places and times where I could easily find quick hookups pretty much whenever I wanted. It was a total shock moving somewhere they weren't readily available.

[NWUSHorny]

38 minutes ago, norefusal said:

- younger guys are experiencing much greater acceptance and freedom that we did

- younger guys seem to think porn is regular sex. if you're not getting choked of being shit on, are you even fucking? 

 😜

Actually I think their may be hope for the latest generation. At least for me locally Gen Z is a lot easier to hookup with than Gen X and older or Millennials, and I'm at the older end of Gen X. At least 2/3rds of the guys I've hooked up with locally in the last year were easily young enough to be my son or even worse grandson. The older locals still seem to have the same hang ups they had 18 years ago when I moved here, which was prior to the advent of PREP and reliable treatments for HIV. I know Gen Z is young and horny, but seem to be so in a way that was completely repressed in the next 2 older generations locally. I just hope the slut shaming culture that still exists anywhere you try to hookup here doesn't get impressed upon them.