PozToxVersPig

When I sat down to begin writing the story of the 6-days I spent as the Submissive to three Dominants ( as well as many others who would come and go throughout that time), I honestly thought it was going to be as easy as the other stuff I’ve written. Even those write-ups/stories I did very close to the end of things happening, my memories of this time back in 2010 felt strong enough to me that I felt I could write about them reliably. It was only after I began thinking back and trying to walk myself through the weeks/months leading up to it, and the short time I cover after it occurred, that I realized how much I had not thought about in a long time, and how vivid those memories because so quickly once I started to jog my memory. It felt almost like I was there again, in those rooms, wearing the gear, feeling, smelling, touching… If you read the Sorrowful Author’s Note, you’ll know that the only three people knowledgeable about everything that went on, including the planning, cannot be contacted – two died, and one disappeared himself (my belief). So I had no one I could contact to validate my memory, which was inherently different because 1) I couldn’t see most of the time, 2) I had no idea what was happening moment to moment and 3) as a central role as the only Sub, my experience was inherently different than everyone else. I think my different experience and the loss of three friendships afterwards caused me to bury this a little bit. Anyway, I wanted to make sure that I was telling this story, documenting my approaches, testing my memory, and being forthright when I just didn’t know something. The following outlines some of the approaches I took in writing this that helped me make sure I was a reliable storyteller for you, the reader. Hope you enjoy, Boy WRITING PRINCIPLES & GUARDRAILS: “The Trunk and the Cage” takes place in 2010, over 15 years ago. only other primary characters who can corroborate, refute, or clarify what’s written are either dead or disappeared. As I began to write, I knew I had to establish some “ground rules” for how I would portray the event. I had some questions I knew would come up. How would I deal with things that were unclear to me because of my role in the event? How would I convey dialog – much more than what I wrote was said, but how would I choose what to include and what not to? Was I comfortable with telling a story with so many others involved, three of whom I knew closely, without them checking me? I used the following principles as tests against writing to ensure that this was a piece of historical event-based storytelling versus a complete work of fiction: 1. Use of “best memory” standard – similar to the legal “best evidence” rule. The story as told here reflects the events and communications that took place to my best recollection. Where unsure, I record this in the writing with phrases like “I don’t remember” or “I don’t know.” I believe what is written is a true telling of my perspective on this event, to the best of my recollection. 2. Added details to support sexual storytelling – no one measured each other’s dicks; I don’t know people’s exact heights or weights. Some of the gear and toys I never saw, only felt, so I make some assumptions based on what I’ve seen since and my other senses. Some details have been added based on my best guess of reality and making all attempts to avoid exaggeration. 3. Describing the other participants – in recounting these parts of the story, I have no way of identifying these people, even as “the white guy with short hair” or “the black dude wearing the blue sweater.” I could not see anything. When important I’ll do my best to distinguish these other participants. There were plenty of times where other than my three Doms, I couldn’t tell if it was one person (e.g.) fucking me, then a different person, or the same person again. 4. Acceptance of 1-party point of view – it is impossible for me to bring back Jason (Ethan) and Jacob from beyond the grave to speak about this experience, and as I note in the Author’s Note, I’ve attempted to reach out to Alex throughout the years and have never been able to find him. There is no way for me to confirm my 1st party account with anyone else. Understanding how lack of corroboration can make stories or reports less trusted, I’ve accepted that whether people believe this to be true and accurate, or if they don’t, I’m still happy for the work that I did. 5. Dialog – to the best of my memory, much of what is written as dialog in the story is similar to what the various conversations were through the days. It would be impossible for me to remember these conversations exactly, but as I wrote the chapters I was able to go back in my mind and remember certain phrases, ways each of the people involved spoke (things they’d say frequently, their tone), I remember “Boy” being used a lot. It is impossible for me to remember all this, but the various conversational interludes were significant because I wasn’t spoken to very often so times when there were conversations were significant. 6. Descriptions of Physical Environment – Because I was blindfolded the majority of the time, it’s impossible for me to say exactly how things looked or were positioned. I know what the layout of the floor of the house looked like and where furniture and other items were. For the “events” I was often led around if there were changes made to the house and told what had changed. But I never saw it. For the purposes of the story, I wrote based on my other senses and the descriptions given to me during walkthroughs. RECURRING ELEMENTS / THEMES / ETC There is a separate post which overviews the main characters of the story, including myself, the Dominants, the Others, etc. This section deals with how I approached some other “characters” in the story – like time, the role of sensory deprivation, the parties, the “structure” of the days, etc. Early on, even on Day 1, I had a strong sense already that this had been planned and orchestrated with great detail. It didn’t feel like it wasn’t flexible or fluid, though I’m sure some things like the parties had to be centered around a start and end time. But I did get the sense that the sequence of events, what needed to happen, who was responsible, and how it would get done were very well thought through. It was about Day 3 when I started to really feel like I had a sense of what was happening in which order, even though the “what” constantly changed. So, to that end, the planning and orchestration is probably another character that deserves to be discussed, but I was not privy to any of it and have no information to share. That will have to be a mystery. SENSORY DEPREVATION – VISION I will continue to reflect on the important role this played. It’s one thing to close your eyes for a short period of time, like when playing Hide-N-Go-Seek. It’s another entirety to have completely blacked out vision for hours at a time while in an environment you’re not controlling and unsure of what to expect. I truly believe this is what makes the memories so tangible and real to me even to this day – my other senses filled in the gaps my blindness left behind, and in many ways made the experience more vivid. Except for maybe a total of 1 hour during the course of 6 days, I was blindfolded by heavy duty dark out blindfolds. Even when not blindfolded, I was faced towards a wall or corner and told not to look around. This played a significant role in my experience: 1. Spatial orientation – initially, I was completely unable to navigate any space without holding on to a wall. This lessened as time went on. The space would change daily, however, and I wasn’t able to see how things had changed, rather I was given a verbal walk through of the space and had to re-figure it out. 2. Sense of Day or Night – I was unable to see if it was daylight or nighttime. And also, being without a clock, the passage of time wasn’t guessable because I simply couldn’t tell how much light (or dark) was in the sky. 3. Identification – though not as critical for me, my inability to identify any characteristics of the anonymous gusts or randoms gave me no information at all. Also, there were objects, toys, gear that I never saw either. In some cases, I could distinguish items or the material it was made of – metal feels one way, plastic and other synthetics have their own feel, leather has a unique tactile quality as well. I cannot be absolutely sure that I’m right, though, because I never saw many things. Eliminating my ability to see created significant challenges initially. It also caused me to increase the use of my hearing, touch, and smell to offset what I did not get via visual stimulus. I also believe that the reason my memories of this experience are so vivid is because they are not based on the “cheap trick” of sight. When we use sight to form the memory, it is because the most powerful by default. When you record memory based on multiple additional senses integrated to form the memory, it inherently is more powerful. SENSORY DEPREVATION – TIME Awareness of what time it is, how much time has elapsed, the expected duration of activities … these play a considerable role in our experiences on a day-to-day basis. Depriving me of my sense of sight meant that I could not see if it was daytime or nighttime, nor could I see any clocks if there were any. This created a weird mental morphing of time. Some short duration things felt long, some long duration things felt short. There was a general sense to the beginning, middle, and end of each day. · Morning to Mid-Day: Each day began with Boy being moved to the shower to receive the piss from the Dominants as they began their day. This was followed by breakfast. · Mid-Day: Another meal, followed by “free play” where I was allowed to stand upright and move around the living room. I then took a nap in my cage or on the couch. · Evening to Late Night Bed: Boy was prepared for the party of the evening including preparing any gear, toys, or accessories needed. · After Party to Bed: Boy was relieved of his party specific duties and gear, allowed to wash himself, and prepare for bed. The Dominants and Boy would then frequently watch some TV on the couch until Boy was put to bed. Throughout, there were structured training sessions, physical training, hypnosis, additional sensory deprivation, training with various sexual implements, and other activities chosen by the Dominants. Visits by the Randoms also occurred throughout this time. REINFORCING THE TRAINING – THE PARTIES Every night, the Dominants hosted an invite-only theme-based event which included 5 to 7 (my guess) anonymous guests, who the Dominants had somehow selected. Each night’s party had a theme. Night one, for example, was about watersports. Night 4 was fisting. The final night was “anything goes.” You can read about them as they unfold. Each day’s training, as well as the cumulative impact of the prior days training, were meant to prepare the Boy for that night’s party. For the fisting party, as an example, that day’s training focused on full insertion of the hand in to the Boy, and finding any additional ways to make progress by that night. The previous days training had focused on his stretching and elasticity, and his mental focus to loosen his hole muscles. The Boy arrived at the event a very inexperienced fisting bottom – it would not have been possible for him to arrive at the fisting “party” and take a first at all without the prior days training. All that is to say that, all of the training throughout the days led me to be able for the parties, and the parties increased in challenge in so much as it wasn’t just about an unfamiliar or intense activity (heavy watersports, which requires little physical training) as being fisted – where I needed to have worked on mental and physical conditioning prior. The one question I have that will never be answered though – if I hadn’t been ready on Night 4 for the fisting party – if things hadn’t gone to plan, what would have happened? Would they have changed the theme (presumably the guests were interested in fisting and may not be interested in something else)? Would they have cancelled the event entirely? Would they have forced me to endure (I don’t think so)? I don’t know what contingency planning they had built in. I felt very comfortable with each of the parties and when I learned what the night’s focus was going to be, I felt confident in my ability to play my role. The only thing I found lingering in my brain over and over was simply that I didn’t know who the other people were that I was having the “party” with – and I never will. I give great credit to Jason, Jacob and Alex though – however they selected these people, it was a low drama and comfortable experience. (With the exception of the first night where there was a little issue that got corrected.) REGARDING PHOTO / VIDEO ARTIFACTS The Dominants were insistent with other participants that no phones be allowed in the house during the event, and I believe either Alex and Jacob were responsible for briefly frisking people and they were vigilant about monitoring my surroundings. Therefore, I don’t believe any photos were taken. I also don’t believe that Jason, Jacob, or Ethan took photos of me at any point, though in our consent conversation I told them I was okay with it, just as long as it was only them, and we reviewed them together and only under mutual agreement would we share them. In our debrief dinner, nothing about any photos or videos were discussed. Beyond that, in 2010, camera phones that could do both pics and vid did exist, but the quality of the images was poor if not shot under the most ideal conditions – and these were not those conditions. Moreover, most people did not back up to the cloud so lots of photos got lost, and social media was new enough there weren’t really any places to share anything other than texting. So my belief is that even if some pics/vids of those nights existed, they are probably now long-gong digital dust. SAFETY & USE OF SUBSTANCES: · Any time there was anyone else but Jason, Jacob, and Alex in the house with me, all three were present if not by my side, within very short distance. · Safer Sex / STIs / HIV: We discussed this both during the Consent discussion prior to the event starting as well as after. We all agreed that this would be a condom-free event, but Others/Randoms could use a condom if they wanted. There were no condoms used. There was no screening for status for STIs or HIV, though I cannot imagine that the Dominant’s – however they selected these people – didn’t favor a less risky group. The point was not about STI or HIV acquisition. To my knowledge, none of us got an STI/HIV originating from this event. · There were no drugs or alcohol used during the entire event by me or the Dominants. I cannot be sure whether the Others or the Randoms may have used substances prior to arriving, though Jason did confirm with me that they had made it clear that the organizers and the sub would be drug and alcohol free and they’d prefer participants also be. · I was told there was one other person who did not participate in the event and was not aware of the events details. This person had regular check-in times at the beginning and end of the day, as well as a couple of times during the party. One of the Dominants had to respond within 10 minutes with some confirmation that all was well, and if they did not, this person would call the cops and report suspicion of foul play. I did not witness this, but Jason told me they had planned for a bad act contingency. THE DOMINANTS AND MY CONFIDENTIALITY: I was assured and I believe it to be true that the Dominants took my confidentiality extremely seriously, as well as their own. We all had the same employer, so to burn me through this process would endanger all of us. During group events which included more than the Dominants and me, everyone wore masks to obscure faces. They were not full blackout hoods, so if a participant knew one of us closely, they may have been able to identify us even with the mask in place. Invites were all electronic but may have initially been discussed face to face by the Dominants with the person being invited. My face was fully obscured in the electronic invite and the words “attractive, successful young professional” next to my blacked-out face. There was not, at the time, a way of limiting forwarding of emails to other individuals by the person being invited, even though the invite specifically stated it could not be forwarded and the invite was awarded only to the person the invite had been addressed. I did not share any information about the overarching co-event or the individual evening events. I could not have. I didn’t know it existed prior to being at the event site and learning from Jason the exact nature of what was going to happen if I agreed to the conditions. At that point, I had no access to a mobile for or internet for the duration of the experience. The Dominants all emphatically stated they did not violate our understanding of maintaining confidentially and the parameters surrounding how the event details were shared, including who the Submissive or other Dominants were. As mentioned above, I had no ability to do so as I was not aware until my communication ties had already been cut. Confidential Oddities: The Dominants reported no instances of weird remarks or other indicators that may indicate confidentiality had been broken. We discussed briefly after the event had concluded and before I departed what had occurred with the watersports event, evolving from an invite-only event to a somewhat open-door free-for-all. (This was corrected for the next days and all subsequent events. I had five instances of things said to me during the events that in some cases I found curious and in other cases off-putting at minimum and concerning or alarming and worst. The comments I recall clearly are: · “Hey J, looks like you’re living life.” Low worry: I wrote this off as me mishearing what he said. Maybe he said “Hey G” or something else. Very few people call me “J” as a nick name, none of whom were the person in question. · “Good to see this side of you, who knew?” Moderate worry: This implied to me that they had seen “the other side of me” – or the day to day, professional, guy out in the world, not a person at an invite only sex party. Or it could imply that they had enough information to identify me outside, meaning in some way I had been identified as the Submissive. · “You know you know who I am. Or you will when I’m inside you.” High worry: To begin with, this person leaned very close to my ear to whisper this, far closer than others had when they said things. Second, they had a kind of creepy, mean, evil voice that also felt like a voice I had heard before. Third, the words imply that I would be able to identify them based on the feeling of having their dick inside me and the tone of the message is one that seemingly wishes to intimidate me. I initially wrote it off because just earlier, Ethan and Jacob and I had discussed taking anonymous dick and how gay bottoms will sometimes say things like “I don’t’ care what dick it is” implying that they are all the same. I asked Ethan and Jacob if they had spoken about this to any of the party guests, and they both said absolutely not, especially because it wasn’t relevant to that party’s purpose. This also reminded me of the one time when I was having anonymous sex at home and the guy who brought his friend began choking me while having sex, not playfully, but with the intent to harm or kill. It was only his friend’s intervention that stopped things. It could be the same person, who is someone I worked with at Microsoft, but this seemed like a huge leap for him to go out of his way to get to this party. · “I’ll see you later after this whole thing is over.” Medium worry: Again, there was a sense from the words that this person planned or expected to find me in public either accidentally (in which case they make the assumption they could identify me without the mask) or; that they knew who I was and we frequented similar locations, etc. I could not identify him, nor did he look familiar in any way based on what I was able to see. · “Does your mom know that you’re doing this?” Low worry: This is kind of a generic riff on a shame or worry inducing statement used in multiple arenas. Assuming this was not about me specifically, it’s just an asshole statement to make who someone how is sitting in front of you naked, covered in piss, and being used by a bunch of men. At the worst, what exactly would he say? There was no photography allowed, and camera phones were not even a thing, so was he going to run to my mother and say, “I saw Jason covered and filled with piss at this party I was at.” My mom: “And what party was that.” He burns himself and provides his own proof of attendance but cannot provide any corresponding proof that I was, in fact, the person he saw at this party. The most alarming to me was “You know you know who I am. Or you will when I’m inside you.” It left me with a strange impression that I may have dated or slept with this person before, and that they had some type of negative feeling about that engagement and were attempting to intimidate me.

Totally agree - this isn't about replacing an actual human. I don't look at a lot of still sexual pictures anymore, though when I was growing up on a 2400 bps modem, you waited hours for just wone picture to download, so it did exist in my past. I like video pornography though. And I don't know how I would feel differently if I knew it was AI generated versus real life. Porn isn't really real to me anyway, so I just don't know yet! 🙂

BTW, the person above is supposed based on attributes from my reference pictures. Only TWO of the 31 images I generated in different scenarios, scenes, apparel, etc. was I able to see the resemblance between me and the generated image.

So my question is this: Is AI generated imagery like this NOT HOT, AS HOT, or HOTTER than imagery you know to have been created by real humans doing real things? Does it matter to you if you know that this person in the picture doesn't exist, that moment never happened, and that room he's in and the dirty mattress he's on never was real? Context: I have been working in cloud/AI my entire 20+ years of professional life, long before they were terms most knew. Over the last few days I have played with Grok to understand it's differences to GPT and CoPilot and some of the open-source AI generative tools. For the purposes of this, it's important to know there are two types of ways AI can create new imagery: IMAGE MODIFICATION: I have a picture of me, I'm wearing a blue hoodie sweatshirt. I can use AI in some cases to make that blue hoodie red. Or instead of the blue hoodie, I want to be wearing a black vNeck tshirt. These are modifications. IMAGE GENERATION: This may draw from real world reference materials (like a supplied headshot) but could also be simple based on creative thinking and prompt writing. "Create a new human character with the following attributes: late 20s to late 30s, clean cut, athletic, fit but not overly muscular, short, cropped haircut shaved on the sides, messy on the top, dark brown hair, wearing dark denim jeans, a blue polo shirt, and a red trucker hat. He is standing in a field of yellow tulips. A tornado is far off in the background." With Grok, unlike the others, you have the ability to create very sexual images, so long as there is not genitalia or explicit sex acts taking place. The image below was created my the prompt I wrote. This "person," the environment they are in, their body position, the look on their face, all came out of MY head - written as a prompt. I generated a lot of interesting images last night, which I was sending to friends and asking what they thought, without telling them it was AI. "That guy's hot, where is he?" or something like that was the first response before I revealed the secret. I was quite surprised to see the quality of the images and how well they met the guidelines I provided. It is only a matter of time until we see pornos being generated with AI (it's already happening but not great).

First Time (Fun but traumatic): Joint rush event Sophomore year of college with our brother-chapter at UCSB. This guy and I went back to his place, messed around, partied, sucked, fucked, there was lots of dildo action...great unexpected hookup. Two weeks later, my Statistics profession called me to his office and told me I had been reported to the Student Ethics committee for investigation. This asshole had stealth filmed the whole thing and posted it on some video sharing website and there was absolutely NO mistaking it was me in the video. I did not know until this moment that my professor was gay, he told me he'd take care of it from the school's perspective. My extremely Christian university would have expelled me. This was the early days of the internet, so I was able to contact the site, and it was taken down. Several friends also found it but came together and it was never spoken of again. Since, I suck at pics/vids. I either lock my shit up to avoid anything getting taken, am too lubey to use it or can't find my phone, or too engaged in it to think about it. I throw it out there as an option always, and so have some vids and pics but not that many - and none which are start to finish. For groups, finding any group where everyone is okay with it, or trusts the person videoing enough to allow it, is hard - even when commitments are made. But I'm 100% down for it and wish I could get it done. Someone told me to "hire" a camera man. I don't really care about my face appearing because I have enough personally identifiable tattoos that anyone seeing it who knew me would be able to ID me anyway...

I don't know what counts as strange - generally or to me - but I'd say 1) trash room on one of the floors in an apartment building, 2) prayer room in the chapel at a hospital, 3) dance area on the dance floor on a gay cruise...with the porn star guys that are always posting videos of them doing the same. I don't know that I was prepared for the skills required to dance while being spitroasted.... shout out to those guys for making it look easy.

So I was talking to a friend about JLUBE today which many people don't like because if you use the premix, or mix on yorur own, is incredibly sticky and when it dries is really hard to get off of surfaces. I was taught by someone long ago to 1) use the powder and 2) replace 1/8 to 1/4 of the water with Gun Oil (specifically gun oil...he said it doesn't work the same with other lubes). This combo eliminates the stickiness issue and you get the best of both words. Still it's a pain in the ass, and I also love Gun Oil stand alone! 🙂

This was a long time ago and I no longer do lab work like that. And honestly, it was the worst thesis subject in the world, because we studied it in multiple species of amphibian eggs in their natural habitats (mothers embed endogenous photolyase within the eggs when they are lain, which dissipates over the course of the first four days, until the tadpole begins producing their own). All of that is to say I had to climb in to remote parts of main mountainous areas where we had our collection sites to collect eggs every day for weeks at a time before doing the lab work. Hated that part. I love how we're being lab [banned word]. 🙂

My thesis was on the repair of cyclobutene pyrimidine dimers in DNA caused by UVA/UVB exposure by an enzyme called photolyase which leverages UVA/UVB and blue light as its power source to repair the bulges within the double helix...avoiding, ultimately, apoptosis due to fucked up replication. I also had sex in my lab a lot....until I was lazy, and had left a pipetman with a tip loaded with whatever caustic lysing agent we were using at the time on the bench when the sex started. All was well until it fell to the ground and the tiny amount of the liquid hit the back of my leg (I was also wearing shorts) . Quick lab shower later...I still 20+ years later still have a scar on the back of my calf. And yes, I like knowing how DNA works too when it comes to fucking! 🙂

I'm not saying nothing existed, and perhaps my words were too absolute. I was simply saying that even when those places existing, they were frequently subjected to police raids, evictions without cause, etc. (Stonewall?). It was a comparative statement to today, where gay people can more freely congregate without fear of such things occuring.

Well, I guess it can;t be a CNC scene then lol! 🙂 Just kidding! I'll hit you up a bit later 🙂

@hntnhole I'm gonna keep thinking about this too and I welcome the additional dialog. This stoked in me some relatively recent research I did refreshing my knowledge of the molecular biology that made up the strains of DNA (I am a molecular biologist and physicist via education) which led me back to a refreshed court on the history of HIV/AIDS in the USA - so some of this was fresh on my mind. I, too, enjoy the dialog and I especially enjoy hearing from others who lived and walked the path that I can only study. So let me give this some time to settle and me to think about it. I might shoot you a DM if that's okay. I'm a little tired from last evening and staying up past my bedtime! 🙂 I also want to ponder this reflectively about my own journey, status, use of meds, etc. right now - I, too enjoy BZ for this reason - the connection on topics that otherwise wouldn't come up in day-to-day conversations. More to come, I hope you're having a great day! J

We have the same pedigree thus why it was familiar and appealing. It wasn't so much JIRA ticket as Program Manager email, but we're saying the same thing 🙂 Slipping to an upstairs bathroom? Sounds like you've already got things sorted out. Enjoy!

I committed to using BB Book (Bigger Black Book) - it's an app in the App store - to track in 2026. I'm not in love with the app...What I like about the app is that it records sexual positions, kinks, etc. and you can add contacts to it (or guests) to each record of hooking up. Are there better apps? I really am super shitty at tracking...I don't have a clue the number. Cheers ya'll!

@hntnhole - you and I have a 15-year age difference, so I recognize and respect that you saw more firsthand those impacted by HIV in the early days and especially throughout the 80s. Though I identified as gay very early on in life and paid more attention than your average kid to things like this, I didn't have friends (two family members though) who died of HIV due to what I understand was a chose to bareback. I've subsequently educated myself, a lot, including about the history of HIV/AIDS. And I think your statement above oversimplifies things, or that the vast majority of those that died from AIDS had their lives "taken over" because their "life without taking loads was simply not worth living." I don't think that's fair or representative of what occurred. Gay men, specifically and homosexuality - have roots in a cultural identity that is largely based on our sexual attraction to the same sex...and the sexual activities that arise from that. When HIV arrived, we weren't even able to be in rooms openly socializing with each other. To have community was impossible, so it was boiled down often to sexual encounters which, were "safer" in the sense that they maintained anonymity, could be done quickly, and without disrupting our likely heteronormative lives. As gay men were able to be more open and out and social communities formed, this remained a part of the culture of gay men. To expect those that have had to struggle having just this one thing (sex) to suddenly transform in to us dating, marrying and not hooking up implies a cultural shift that's speedier than any other seen in history. So now we have HIV and the government, which has treated gay men so badly, not recognized their relationships, not defend them against police action, wrongful terminations, insurance denials, etc. is now ALL UP IN OUR BUSINESS telling us "SAFE SEX ONLY" and "USE A CONDOM ALWAYS" - and running campaigns that if I had seen at the time, I would have thought "who the fuck are you to tell me this?" Not only that, but gay men had a freedom they didn't with heterosexual sex. There was no risk of pregnancy. Now the government was saying "you can't have that anymore. we don't care about you and we don't acknowledge you or your rights as a gay man, but we insist you use a condom because AIDS." So how did this shake out: much like today, men went on being men and having sex. Some portion started using condoms because they were more apt to follow rules like that anyway. Some continued doing what they'd always done because if you're in your 20s you're mindset is already that you're invincible and if you're in your 30s might have started to become stuck in your ways. And some rose up and said "You (the government) telling me to use a condom is overreach, control, and you can go to hell." This latter group, more so than the dudes that just kept fucking raw because it's what they knew, had a formal position on resisting the use of condoms and started a resurgence and perhaps created the sub-culture of "barebacking" as a subcommunity. Yes, they wanted to have sex without a condom, but they also didn't want the government taking away something they cared about - the intimacy, connection, etc. that condomless sex afforded. This group combined with the "this is always the way I've done it" forms a large majority of those in these community groups, along with the fetishists. Unlike some fetishizing groups today (no shame), I don't believe they were "so attached to fucking 'raw'" as you put it. Perhaps they simply didn't want anything else to be taken away from them. Perhaps they thought that it was their right to do have sex however they wanted. Perhaps they didn't want to be controlled. Perhaps, starved for intimacy as a gay man their entire lives, this one thing - this ONE physical thing - allowed them to feel some part of a connection. So I think you over simplified, by a lot, and I think it's dangerous to do so. I'm happy to send you many of the articles, journals, etc. I've read privately, but again, want to acknowledge that I've formed this view without the direct loss of my same age counterparts who you may have witnessed make decisions that would end their lives. I have much respect for your point of view. To illustrate this in a more relatable way, replace AIDS with COVID. It is estimated that somewhere around 700,000 people have died of AIDS or AIDS related diseases in the US since 1981. For COVID, that number is about 1.3M. The medical arts had a solution for that too which was vaccines, face masks and handwashing. We saw how easy that was to get across...........

@BruxoCub - first of all, Iove the structure and formatting of your post - you and I would probably really get along. Sounds like you're gonna have a good 2026. There's another threat similar that you might be interested in checking out too. I'll maintain my aspirational goals for 2026. Any plans for midnight to jumpstart things? 🙂 My 2026 Sex Goals

Author's Note: If you've made it this far and have not read the Author's Note, please do. It adds important context to all chapters of this story. I stood silently, in the exact same spot, arms and hands by my side, blindfolded and gagged, wearing all my other gear…my armor. It’s hard to even say that I was “naked” given all the gear though I’m sure that’s how most would have described me. I stood in that spot, as still as I could be, for what felt like much longer but was probably closer to 10 to 15 minutes. My dick had developed a life of its own, occasionally getting a little bit harder and twitching – probably in anticipation of what would come next. During this time my hole was doing what every bottom’s freshly fucked hole does…send non-stop aggressive emergency alert messages to your brain saying, "NEED MORE LOADS!" Many many many more loads. Bottom’s always like to take loads, but if you haven’t recently (within the last 24 hours, week, whatever), the first one seems to trigger the insatiable hunger and unrelenting focus on getting more. Many many many more. Had I just gotten a load under other circumstances and not under the control of my Dominants, I’d be scouring the internet, my phone, texting fuck buddies, and identifying a plan to find more myself, but now, I was left merely to wait. My hole continued to pulse ever so slightly. I genuinely feel bad for the power tops and reluctant bottoms of the world that never feel this sensation in their life. It’s like a weird combination of heat and lust and ambition and drive and singular focus. There was movement all around me during this time -- items being moved and shuffled, dining room chairs placed in different locations. Something made of hollow metal got assembled but I had no idea what it was – it didn’t sound large enough to be a sling. Someone brought something up from the basement and must have hit the wall or door jamb doing so. "Oh damnit!" Jacob said...he must have been the one carrying whatever it was. The porno was back on but not very loud...Ethan and Jacob didn't speak much, at least that I could hear, but occasionally I'd here, "Like this you mean?" or "Try it there." I didn't know what was taking place. Someone lightly clapped their hands and Ethan said, "I think that's it. Let's turn on the other TV and the music." Two TVs? Music? There must be something happening involving other people, because there’d be no reason for two TVs and music… I continued to stand there, thinking about what I had heard. The furniture and chair movement – I assumed so it was more out of the way and would make space. The shutters in the living room had been closed since I arrived, but I thought I heard the shutters in the dining room close as well. Something large enough was brought up from the basement that it was difficult to maneuver through the narrow door…maybe a folding table like one you’d have at a party? I knew I was spiraling trying to imagine the possibilities so once again, reminded myself to just breathe… That lasted a few minutes until I heard some final sounds similar to what I had heard a while ago but did not recognize or identify. This time I thought I knew. I heard what sounding like plastic sheathing being dropped downward coming from the dining room. Putting two and two together, I realized that what I’d heard earlier was the same type of sheathing that I now guessed had been placed on the floor and secured with tape (I had heard tape being pulled off the roll). Now it sounded like they might be covering furniture. The show Dexter was in its heyday around this time and if you remember that show, plastic sheathing was regularly used for Dexter’s cleanup. Yes, my mind went there at that moment, but I quickly ignored the thought. This had to be something involving watersports…that’s the ONLY possible reason for this covering things up like this. But seriously, how much could really go down in someone’s house without it getting destroyed? I got pissed in on my bed once with sex sheets down and me holding as much piss in as I could, it was still something needing containment. Knowing Ethan though, he had thought this through. I’m taken immediately back to reality with another slap on my semi hard dick and I could tell both Ethan and Jacob were standing in front of me. It is crazy how lack of sight and the blindfold made it seem sometimes like what I was thinking in my head was real, because I could picture it so clearly…and it was only someone or something jolting me back to the physical world that made you realize you had been daydreaming. "Boy, we are going to start getting you ready, just the two of us. But shortly after we're done, there are going to be several more people joining us. We are not going to tell you who they are, whether you know them, whether we know them, or any information about them." Oh my god, "whether you know them" - it wouldn't be the first time I'd accidentally ended up at the same sex party as a friend, but not in my current circumstances. "Boy, do you remember when we talked about watersports?” (I shook my head yes and grunted.) “You started today liking watersports, and tomorrow you will not be able to live without them. It will become something you need and crave and can't live without. An obsession. That’s what tonight is all about.” I shook my head a few more times yes, vigorously, while trying to grunt enthusiastically. Someone reached around to my hole and began to pull the butt plug out that had been inside me. I had once again almost forgotten it was there. Applying a little more lube near the base, they continued pulling. This plug felt different going in and very different coming out. The widest part finally popped out, and I made a small yelping sound as my hole then settled on another ledge, stopping it from coming out further. The plug was pulled on more and my hole released two more additional tiers of the plug – not as wide as the first and getting smaller as it exited. I could picture the shape of the plug now. I was breathing heavy and panting – that ended up being more effort than I expected. I was led to the same bathroom as before and moved into the shower. I heard both Ethan and Jacob remove their clothes. A group shower? Yeah, right! We had just talked about watersports so I had a pretty good idea of what might come next. "Boy, Down!" Ethan demanded. His voice had grown much more assertive in just the last minute. The somewhat compassionate vibe from when my blindfold was off was gone. We were back to business. I got down on all fours and then lowered my arms and head towards the shower floor, raised my ass and pushed it back, giving the maximum access to my hole. I assumed the Down position…I was getting good at it. Ethan told me to move forward and guided my head to the corner of the shower which I assumed was so someone could be behind me. I could hear both stroking their dicks. I wasn’t just getting washed down with piss, I wasn’t just getting fucked…this was the perfect setup for what has become one of my favorite things to this day – I was going to get piss fucked. (Author’s note: at times like this, I have a certain "devious grin" I tend to make that some people have noticed. I couldn't grin then because of the gag, but while writing this section in 2025, I caught myself with the "devious grin.") "Boy, your hole has started to loosen up but you need to focus so you’re ready for what’s happening next! You need to loosen up your muscles and not grip our dicks at all unless we tell you to. We're gonna continue to fuck your hole open with whatever we need to until we can take a piss easily in your hole." Jacob said. He had moved into the shower behind me and onto his knees based on the direction his voice was coming from. The shower was a large rectangular glass enclosed shower, adequate for two people in these positions, but there wasn’t room for additional movement. Right in front of my head was the corner of the shower so I couldn’t move forward, and Jacob could easily stop me from moving left or right…I was pretty much stuck. It felt a little like the Cage. Jacob, like before, put his dick against the outside of my hole and traced the outside with his dick. And in a way that would become very familiar, he centered his dick on my hole and hesitated for just enough time so my anticipation could build. He’d only fucked me once at this point, so I didn’t know if he was always aggressive, switched things up or…. FUUUUCKK! Before I ever knew it, Jacob took a quick breath and lunged forward and sunk his dick completely. It couldn’t have taken more than 3 seconds. I tried to escape the onslaught of his dick by moving forward, but my head collided with the corner of the shower so there he was, balls deep inside of me. I felt the familiar feeling of my hole wrapped around the base of his dick. It did, absolutely, feel different than Alex’s. He kept himself all the way inside me, and the longer he stayed, the more I felt I could tell the difference. I had moaned extremely loudly when he entered and had resumed shallow breathing, panting to try to calm myself. Without the gag, I’m sure even the neighbors would have heard me. I felt my eyes water from the overwhelming sensation – thank God Ethan couldn’t see that. After being inside me and buried for a bit, he rotated his hips so that my hole continued to be opened. I was lightheaded and a little dizzy the way you are when you get a complete endorphin blast all at once. He began to fuck me very aggressively and every five strokes or so would continue to rotate his hips and work my hole open. I could feel myself opening up more and more. He wasted no time beginning to fuck me hard, this time every five strokes or so shoving most of the way in and then circling his hips so that it pulled on all edges of my hole. He had a pattern I could anticipate which helped me to start fucking him back a little bit. As this was happening, I was moaning and grunting like my body was being torn apart but in reality, I was enjoying it so much and hoping he wouldn’t stop. I kept reminding myself to breathe and relax…saying both words in my mind as he continued. He pulled out completely and just as quickly I had three fingers from each of his hands up inside me, again pulling my hole open towards opposite sides of my body. He was not messing around, using all his arm string. It felt great and then he replaced his fingers with his dick again, fucking me for a few minutes longer. "I gotta stop. You don't get my load yet, Boy." He pulled out and said to Ethan "Look at that..." " “Hell yeah, and we haven't really gotten started." I think at that moment I was thinking “if we haven’t started yet, then let’s fucking start already” – the bottom in me was turned up! Despite the energy of the situation, I honestly felt super relaxed compared to any other time I had been fucked in my life up to that point (which was a lot). I felt like those porno bottoms who literally can take a massive dick without so much as a dime size amount of lube, right from the jump – my hole was ready! I could still feel the slickness of Alex's loadI could certainly smell cum which, at this point, had to include Jacob's precum. My hole was in a Zen state – relaxed, ready, and energized. "Here comes!" Jacob said, just a few moments after he had pulled out. I felt a few initial drops and sprays of his warm piss hit the outside of my hole and my ass cheeks before he put his dick back inside, this time slower and gentler. He was nearly fully in when he let out a sigh/moan and just like that, it started. It felt warm and the feeling of it inside could not be ignored. It was so different than cum, which felt softer when it hits your insides. This felt sharper - not painful - just sharper. He went on for a while, and I thought he was finished but then he sigh/moaned again and even more started flowing into me. I wanted to say "Damn, sir, that's a lot of piss." Honestly, I didn't know how much it was compared to how it felt, but then it started to leak out of me and past his dick and I could feel it dribbling down my legs. Jacob let out another sigh/moan, I guess indicating he was done. “Oh Boy, how does that feel? You’ve got a hole filled with my piss. I want you to try gently wrapping your hole a little tighter around my dick…you’re gonna hold all this piss inside you and I don’t want any to come out.” I did as I was told, focusing very hard on controlling my hole around his dick. He very slowly removed his dick, little by little. It felt like I succeeded when he finally had his dick completely out. I didn’t feel any additional piss flow out of me. Jacob and Ethan seemed to shuffle positions quickly, because a few moments later, I felt Ethan's dick pressed up against my hole, already centered, and within 10 seconds of Jacob pulling out, Ethan was already inside of me. "I fucking love shoving my dick into a hole full of piss and fucking it out. Damn, so fucking hot." I groaned in agreement a few times "grrr grrr grrr." "That's so hot man, how's it feel?" Jacob was egging Ethan on. "Really fucking good, I could stay here forever but it's time to make sure he starts feeling and smelling like a pig who's obsessed with piss." While inside of me, I had the same feeling of knowing Ethan's dick compared to the others...I felt a difference. Jacob's dick was thicker overall top to bottom, so it forced me open more side to side. Ethan's was more cylindrical so it felt more equal around my entire hole. Alex’s was longer, wider at the base than at the top. Ethan shoved his dick in about 3/4 of the way and I could tell while he was pushing his dick in that he was already starting to piss in me. "Just keep making sure that hole is nice and relaxed Boy cuz I know you want this second bucket of piss inside you." I grunted again. He made a similar sound to Jacob and let out a sigh/moan as he continued to flood me. A small amount continued to trickle out of my hole, but nothing compared to what I could feel was going inside. I honestly wasn't sure how long it was going to go on. Occasionally the flow of piss would stop for a moment then start. And I felt this complicated sense of fullness and emptiness at the same time. When he finally finished, he didn't pull out. Instead, he started pumping his dick in and out of me, speeding up little by little until he started to pound me at a fairly aggressive speed with deep, long strokes. At this point, I still felt very relaxed but then realized that the flood gates had opened and there was piss splashing out of my hole from his dick thrusts and up on to my back, my legs, presumably all over Ethan....I felt some drops of piss hit my back and sides of my torso. He kept pounding pretty fast and hard, while at the same time taking deep breaths in and out and telling me to "relax" and I did and the more he continued to pump and the piss flew everywhere, the more relaxed I became. Ethan kept going and at a certain point, I felt considerably emptier than before and the piss-splash show had all but stopped. Ethan grunted and said, "That was fucking amazing. Good Boy, you learned how to relax your hole more. You did a good job so I'm gonna start you off with your first load of the night." He smacked my ass and then began fucking me fast and hard and very quickly he said, "I'm breeding your hole Boy. You're gonna get a fat load! Here goes." He grunted more and shot a load in me, buried deep in my hole up to his balls. I could feel the cum deposit, but it felt different now that all that piss had been in there. He pulled out quickly and got up. The smaller butt plug from earlier had re-appeared and slide easily in. "You're not taking a shower. Pat yourself dry with this towel and stand up." He threw a towel on my back and I stood up. He told me to pick up my feet one then the other, slid a jock strap on to my legs, and pulled it up and over my dick, adjusting it. We exited the bathroom and I could already smell the sweet smell of Ethan and Jacob's piss, starting to dry all over my body. The smell was intoxicating. It didn't smell like a public restroom - some combination of cleaning chemicals and stagnant urine and unclean surfaces. It smelled clean and crisp. I was still lightheaded and my body was very relaxed. I was euphoric – that’s the best word for it. I had played around with piss and even been piss fucked many times and so I was a bit surprised that I felt so present to how the experience felt, how I was so relaxed during it, and how the smell was just enchanting. During other experiences, there was more tension in the experience…lingering concern about the environment, who was around, whether I was okay to be around them smelling like I’d just been pissed in. Ethan was leading me across the room with his hand on my shoulder, and Jacob was on my other side. Ethan moved his hand briefly down and snapped the waistband of my jock, right above my hole and laughed, "You're gonna end up loving the smell of this jock by the end of the night Boy."

Oh wow. Okay. I might have way overdone it. The smallest of the new plugs that are arriving (hopefully today...) is 8". I also got a 9.6" then 10.6" circumference. My current plug is smaller than 8" - I don't have it with me but it's definitely smaller than a pop can in circumference. That still takes some warmup if I'm starting from a cold-engine 🙂 I don't anticipate being able to get the 8" right away- but that's goal #1. I did not even think to google "average male hand circumference" and sure as shit the answer is right there at the top of the page.

Me too - that's why I thought it couldn't possibly be good. Like, I can get grown up stuff now 🙂 Sure enough, it works great 🙂

Feedback from the first few folks to see this has been really positive. Will share more.

@Sfmike64 appreciate you sharing you voice on this! 🙂 You have firmly made "don't yuck someone's yum" part of my vernacular. I had never heard it prior to you recently, and I actually used it out in the world yesterday!