So sorry for you struggle. I had CA Rectum in 2022 & had clean recovery. Because of weight loss I had to have a PEG (feeding tiube) inserted. Not exactly the same but the stoma care is same. Look after YOU, everyone else takes a backseat. Cleanliness is vital. Having nursed "bowels" I found that mental health was HUGE. Fears of odour around others, leakage showing through clothing & worst of all bursting bags. Hygiene is easy but mentally decide that NO ONE will get you, no matter what. Develope a tough skin, people are remarkably sympathetic & most IMPORTANTLY. Make sure you keep your sense of humour, it does get very dark but, you will proudly become a member of the group that only people like: nurses, emergency services & the worst of them all - bitchy Gay men, are members of.
I got onto a crowded train, at peak hour, standing as usual. Then had a case of explosive diarrhoea. Best part was I travelled next 10 stations in an empty carriage & had the choice of any seat I wanted, LoL 😂 😂 .
Hope this offers a small bit of comfort & the train story is just one of many, many other TRUE personal accidents. I could write a book.