transferal

This one used to come up a lot at work. If you're undetectable and an the up-and-up about your meds and your health, technically you can without any real risk to the other person. The effort is usually bad for mental health. I haven't had a client do this where I was like, Oh yes, you seem to be doing the same or better than before. (Even one client who was a narcissist was getting anxious about his cover being blown, and he was by far the most confident and least giving a shit about anything having to do with anyone else.) And about 95% of the time the relationship is over if the partner figures it out. Perhaps the wildest thing about sometimes counseling the partner separately is how many people say they would've come around if given enough time and no lying. I always recommend to rip off this band aid early. It does not get easier for most folks as time goes on, with the one exception that some folks find it easier with new people to date and then wait to explain U=U and their status when they are getting more serious and starting to commit more.

Yeah, the closest I’ve been to the tropics this year are bathhouses where the showers and the sauna both open out into the hot tub. 🤣

I have always been into older guys. I had a mentor as a teen. He actually had to go through a whole thing screening him to make sure he wouldn't have sex or do any kind of sexual things with me. I think he even believed himself at first but eventually we came to a compromise where he would fuck me on my 18th birthday. I arranged it carefully without telling him so he'd technically be the last dick I rode as a minor and the first as an adult. I was a teen so I still had a few hangups over age but he was skilled. He'd been molesting and grooming me for a couple years at that point but I was into it 90% of the time and had definitely been interested in him seeing me as sexually available. I liked being a bit transgressive at that age so it was very exciting for me to turn legal already impailed on a man's 7" cock who had been an adult from the moment I was born. It was good sex. He was 38. He insisted on using condoms though unfortunately but it was still one of the more memorable times. I definitely came off as kind of sweet and naive back then so he was pretty pleased and shocked when he came in my throat. For a while, I got shamed a lot as a legal teen by older adults for my sexuality, worse it was often adults who had openly expressed interest in me at some point. I think having gay men who clearly wanted me suddenly turn around and do that to me was pretty bad for me psychologically at that age. I made it through the 90's and early 00's with most queer adults around me who had gravitated to me because I was out even as a kid as queer and kinky and was unapologetic and insisted others could conform around me. That wasn't really common then so I had a lot of queer adults dead set on protecting me from absorbing any shame... only to run into their own turned against me when I was old enough to legally thank many of them in my favourite way. My age definitely went into it because while some older friends just gave into me trying to seduce them (even as a minor... often out of confusion around my age) I also had many friends older than me who did figure out my age and wanted to try to be a role model they didn't have... and they thought that meant not fucking me even though I love fucking my friends. It was confusing because how they looked at me and how hard their dicks were when we hugged or cuddled suggested they would've enjoyed it. It wasn't like I didn't get a bunch of negative messages growing up, I had just always been able to shrug them off and... so suddenly I got hit by a wall of shame. Like it all caught up at once. I've always wanted older guys but it took me into my 30's to start actively seeing out tops 20+ years older again. I would politely turn down guys that much older before. It started off with just noticing at bathhouses that when a lot of hands were on me or guys were taking turns fucking me, the older guys somehow managed to be both be really decent and considerate to me as a person and also fuck my brains out like a depraved slut. I started asking older guys to show me around their cities and breed me, often offering myself as free use while they played tour guide in their cities, and I did this whenever I traveled or was in a new place for work and that was always really fun. I met such nice, hot guys and they all fucked me so good. It's so rare I run across guys older guys who aren't much fun or who aren't skilled fucks. I also enjoy a little more intimacy (but without a lot of drama or having that put under a microscope) and many older guys enjoy that, too, in addition during a lot of licentious and depraved fucking.

Decision making around that is pretty individual and should be assessed with the physician. I got HPV as a teenager before the vaccine existed because I didn't feel safe backing out of sex with a guy who had it. It was found by a doctor who went way out of his way with routine screenings. He told me he thought my immune system would be able to clear it, which to be fair was confusing since I had like 4 different types of pneumonia earlier that year. Six months later there was no evidence other than his documentation I had it in the first place. Thankfully not the kind of cause cancer and I think it was no more than a small bump for me. Not every case needs treatment. (I am not a doctor but in my past career I worked for many doctors and nurses who spent a lot of time training me as they had me deal with a lot of patient education stuff.) These days there's an HPV vaccine. I got it after exposure (I didn't have a strain that was included in the vaccine and the one I had was pretty safe for cancer risk and didn't usually cause much in the way of warts) and then I got the updated vaccine. The first time my age helped me to have objection free access despite the previous exposure but the second time (for the update vaccine with expanded protection) was definitely an educated patient asking thing. My response to "probably have been exposed" was that's very different than knowing I was exposed. (I also had 1 STD and 200+ sex partners in the year I asked so even the doctor who started to say "you don't need it" changed to "yes, get it now" very quickly.) Short of people who just DGAF if they see evidence of infection and fuck anyway, it's unlikely anyone has all 9 types the vaccine protects against. Gay men are part of that high risk group and there's a lot of flexibility around the guidelines, so if you ask one doctor, try to justify it, and they still say no just ask someone else. There's also just the argument that anything you don't have yet if you don't get it as an active infection, it's much better just for public health if you can't get a new infection and then spread it before you realize. Doctors really should not be denying this in most cases... I suspect it happens only because you get HPV though sex. No other vaccine with such a low side effect and lack of added difficulty testing is gatekept quite so much as the HPV vaccine.

It depends. Often ~2-5 a day. If it’s more I know I haven’t fucked or gotten fucked recently enough and usually when I’m up to around 3x I start to get suspicious it’s not fun in itself and substitution for sex. I tend to masturbate more than 1-2 times a day when I am busy and think I am saving myself time by not hooking up, but it doesn’t quite seem to work that way consistently enough as I often spend longer solo than even fucking a few different guys. Aside from just liking sex, I have a high sex drive and neurochemistry is a bit off from ADHD and autism and for better or worse sex resets things, and so I’m really best off if I am getting bred at minimum several times a week, preferably daily 1-2+ times a day. It seems to be good for me even if I’m not sure I want to fuck… It just sets me right and clears my head from all the buzz-y thoughts, the overstim, dysthmia. I’m verse and while I love topping I don’t think I could ever be just a top because I feel just so automatically clear, focused, present and myself the moment there’s a dick in me, and that feeling can be extended a ways out for me by breeding. It bothered me at first because I’m not, like, a super submissive bottom (“passive” is not a term most people are particularly tempted to use for me even as a bottom) but it’s been okay and really more of a joke that I need many friends and acquaintances cocks, and I often get a few unpromted volunteers if I seem to be grumpy or having a bad which is nice, even if my friends definitely tease for for how quick I got back to normal once they’re in me. I sometimes don’t even need my ADHD meds. It took me forever to figure out that it’s actually both the sex and cum. I sometimes get in a loop where I’m horny stimming with masturbation at which point I need the real thing. I can orgasm but I have some issues around ejaculating due to medical stuff, but when I actually am able to breed a guy I’m typically good for most of the week. Right now I’m trying to cut back and use dicks and asses more. I was trying not be such a slut for a while, just try something new and to put more attention in other things, but it threw my neurochemistry out of wack and so I’m more aware that I need to masturbate less and fuck more.

Viral load doesn’t make much of a difference if there’s no drug resistance. PreP block HIV from replicating in the body. If HIV has nowhere to replicate and hide out, it can’t infect you. It needs the ability to hijack your cells. PreP is kind of like boarding up all the doors and windows. It doesn’t matter how many virons are out there, they’re not getting into the cell. If HIV doesn’t have a cell to get into, it might as well have been wiped off on the table for how effective it’s going to be. Drug resistance is a little more complicated but at present PreP still seems to work in the vast majority of cases out in the real world.

I strangle, not choke if the point is to bring someone out. Safer if you know that you're doing and the effect is similar to the bottom. I have taught longer term partners how to do it properly. I can be a bit of a brat and sassing a Dom top I am in a more serious relationship with only to have them force me to submit and wake up with them balls deep in me with me pinned to fuck is amazing. I would say if done properly it's probably safer than barebacking. You see it in judo matches and practices plenty and it's an old martial art.... I think like two people are documented to have died from it unintentionally but that was due to preexisting conditions. I don't teach it to just any rando though and only do it sober because there is maybe three second before you are out at which point the clock is ticking for the person to let go. Once you're out you're vulnerable to stupid, distracted, and malicious people. The same hold that safely brings someone unconscious can be held for a few minutes as an near inescapable kill. Also, more common of a problem, there's only so many times you can do it before you get a migraine. A lot of the time I self smother in the pillows. That was how I masturbated until well into my teens. Tried to be subtle since my parents didn't seem to believe in privacy until I was a teen.

I enjoy it. Many years ago I had an ex with a big dick and an even bigger gauge PA. I feel like if the dick and the man using it is good to begin with, a good piercing makes it better. It also added a really nice satisfy weight on top of his big spent cock inside me afterwards. We typically fucked last thing in the evening and then he'd pin me. I slept really well with that muscular slab of a man on me and that warm dick, gooey cum, and slightly cool heavy PA in me. Sometimes it would hit a sore spot and I would get horney again. I would try to milk his cock to get it hard without waking him and since I could locate the PA and I have good control it helped me to hold him in while I got him hard again. Even the small movements not to wake him felt very sensitive with it there after a couple times or more getting fucked with it before we fell asleep. He loved not just fucking me but knowing his cum was deep in me and would be completely absorbed. He had tacit permission be always thought he was sneaky breeding me an extra time... but I tended to have various wet dreams about him getting me blackout drunk to make me easy and compliant to breed out in the open downtown at night or breeding me under anesthesia. His PA would always feature prominently. So that dream was a dead giveaway because of the PA.

Sniffies you can change the location accuracy on the map, so guys are not necessarily where they show up. I do that just because I am in a rough neighborhood and have judgey neighbours; not everyone needs to know where I live or what I am doing. I don't throw it as far off as possible but I do put it a few blocks over.

I'm verse. I have some issues ejaculating much of the time due to medical stuff (trans history) but once hard staying hard isn't an issue. I am horny most of the time and when my dick is grabbing my attention I can't help but wonder what most guys I meet would feel like on it. I am not a very dominant top with most people I don't know well, so the adaptive strategies of many bottoms of being more agressive and mounting my cock quickly the moment I don't push them away or leading me away by the cock directly in their hole are fine with me so long as I am still in the mood to top. I tend to cum in the guy who has whatever it takes that night to make me cum. It's often not the guy I expect and since each guy has different energy, different good and bad things, and their holes all feel a little different on my dick I do end up trying most that I don't have some strong reason not to fuck for at least a minute or so. Occasionally I don't think I am going to get off in him but he's really fun or feels really especially good on my cock so I will fuck him specifically so he orgasms. Occasionally I cum unexpectedly when he does, otherwise I will move on at that point. Unless it's pretty vacant I almost always end up in double digits for holes my cock has been in, but I can only add my cum to one or two most night, even if there has been nights where I have fucked almost every bottom there. When I bottom I don't have much of an issue and get way more than my fair share of loads. Most guys will cum in me or they will pull out because they find it hard not to cum in me and usually will be back to breed me later. I have never been that competitive as a bottom. Admittedly, the most common response to being in me the first time is a shocked "Wow... you have an amazing ass/cunt." I enjoy thinking about all the holes a top has been in before mine. I don't delude myself that I can maintain any of the stuff I do one on one for saftey in a bathhouse and so I just enjoy it when a guy comes back with his dick prelubed with cum and lube from other bottoms asses and shoves in into to breed me. I tend to be a pretty agressive bottom. I have a trans history, I kept the extra hole because apparently I am enough of a slut my corner of the gay community was actually pissed about me having surgery back in the day (and even some of the bottoms thought I was dumb), so I often have one guy in each hole. The main reason I end up not taking a load is a top who can't play well with others. I am very happy as a group bottom and the top who is not amazing himself but runs off other tops is the worst. I love guys watching and waiting and having a cock in every available hole. I try to stay in places with the ability to watch me fuck that don't restrict whether I am an active (default) or passive bottom. The slings are for a top who wants to fuck me in one or the end of the night when usually a few guys are looking for me and having my very well bred holes on display will also get a few guys in me to breed from being ready and seeing that.

I have had one STI (that's actually normally classified as an STI) in my life and I knew I was going to get it but I was a teen and didn't feel safe backing out of sex in a disused area of my school with a pushy, irritable guy with a few too many gang tattoos 1.5x my size and weight so he fucked me anyway. I got HPV which was just found by a doctor being overly throughout (no warts, he just happened to get a sample of infected tissue on a hunch) and it cleared on its own a few months later. A dick check disguised as cock worship (it doesn't hurt that I have trouble finding a dick I don't think is great) has served me well along with vaccines and PreP, as well as serosorting with undetectable guys before PreP and back when the stupid CDC wasn't willing to say it and I was getting a lot of judgement for fucking my undetectable boyfriends and friends. (Well, I am still negative and half the guys judging me for barebacking with undetectable guys aren't, and everyone who had so much to say seems to find the celling or their feet interesting if this is brought up ever.) However, getting things that aren't normally classified as STIs through sex is absolutely my curse. If I eat a bottoms ass with five other guys, I will absolutely be the one person who is laid out flat that week with parasites or gastroenteritis. I am getting over a drug resistant staph UTI and had candida at the same time. I have some other mystery illness too, still. My doctor who normally rolls her eyes at other doctors compulsively ordering HIV tests for me this time wasn't content with six HIV tests on top of perfect PreP adherence so she ordered another one today and it's like, No, mam, you had it right before, I am not HIV+, just cursed. It's been going on long enough we're just planning to just knock out my immune system with immunosuppressants in a few days and see if that solves it or see what surfaces.

I would not be down for this top or bottom. If you're a beginner either stretch out or start on a dude with smaller hands. It's not all that uncommon for kinky guys with small hands to have a lot of experience fisting because hands are something really easy to see at all times and so we get hit on specifically for that. Pain lets you know on a scale of 1-10 how bad your about to fuck yourself up, with 1 being fine and 10 being oh yeah we fucked up ER now. Pushing it down isn't ideal. Plus the pain is supposed to give way to feel amazing rather than "meh".

Close to 100%. There’s always on occasion that one guy who didn’t read.

This isn’t accurate for the US. Being in the “MSM” category and asking for it is enough to meet prescribing guidelines. If a doctor holds out for anything other than an STI panel, that’s on them. A lot of the old guidelines were not actually final prescribing guidelines but were meant for the many years that PreP stayed in clinical trials. The expectations for being a slut were kind of set to het standards (I think one trial require like one unknown/high risk encounter a month maybe?) so even in the trials so it wasn’t that hard to qualify. Also back then an undetectable partner would’ve counted the same as one with a detectable viral load because the CDC was so damn slow to actually say U=U.

If you can afford to leave the Philippines every 6 months (where I assume you are from based on your screen name and such an asinine policy) there’s now PreP that can be done as injections that are only needed two times a year. The guys telling you to just sign that document are likely not aware which country or the political instability that makes signing a document and handing it over to the government seem very unappealing. Oraquick and similar tests are one of the least reliable ways to try to figure out his status. It has up to a three month window period where someone could be infected but not produce antibodies yet. Then for some guys like me with certain other conditions it will create a false positive result. (I’m negative, on PreP, and tested sometimes a couple times a month.) I don’t really know what the culture is like very much in your home country around queer stuff and HIV prevention. Perhaps I should know more, but I don’t. When I was still able to work, the recent immigrant clients I saw from your country I’m guessing probably would’ve agreed to this. Because your country has some policies that aren’t just homophobic but bizarre, I think that makes some requests like this seem more reasonable by comparison. A lot of us from the West would maybe not find that reasonable. But also, we didn’t just recently have to live under the rule of a dude who is now being tried for crimes against humanity. Realistically, you kind of sound like you should be using condoms. Rarely do I say that, but are you sure you aren’t going to bareback and then just be worried you got something the whole time and have mediocre access to healthcare for the same reasons you don’t want to sign up for PreP?