fuckboy20

Simply amazing bearbandit. There's a lot I want to say, but I probably won't say it all. Not here anyways. I first want to say thank you for having consequence, decisions, and even a dose of reality in your story. Too many stories on here about bugchasing and they are pretty much all fantasies. Not really any (although haven't read any store hear but read alot) dwell on the pre-caution of being HIV and even care of being on meds after or even going through with a "signing" to make sure eveyone agrees. Although, you mentioned why that was done later on. We all have our fantasies and they're all hot, especially if written down. But it's nice to have a dose of reality too. Especially with the beer bottle, ouch. Not only that but even with real consequences and choices, you still make it hot. And as for the leather dynamics between poz boy, dave, and the Sir. I don't think it could be written any better.

Crap, I'm not sure if I should right this right now. Feeling like crap right now so maybe this will help. But before I do just to get it out of my system. Missing exes, wish things could have worked out and sad with shit they are dealing with unrelated to me. Learning more about topping now and because of where I live I'm dead to former Sir. Being poz has really gotten to me lately especially being single, alone, and can't talk to roomie about bb and being poz. Feeling guilty for sexing so much being not on meds. ...Now that that's out of the way. Friday Night. The first day of being back from my trip to Florida and I was home alone. Roomie was a work. After unrelated stuff around the house I get on craigslist. I see a hot fucking guy on craigslist who advertises as a poz top wanting to be serviced by an obedient bottom and fucks raw. Can't tell you how many times I see every fucking craigslist post say "raw but safe and clean only" "bare for neg bottom". But the guy also looked familiar. His pictures reminded me of someone familiar too. I took a chance. I sent him a lengthy email. I went to the credit union and when I got back he replied. My suspicions were right. In the email he told me his name. I replied, with exactly what he wanted to hear. He was the same man from cumunion a few weeks ago. After dinner wth roomate and watching some tv we planned to meet in a few hours. I cleaned myself and apologized for running a little late, but he was too so it was okay. I raced to get to his place. Parking my car I stepped out and saw him in the parking lot. Fuck, he was just as hot as I remembered if not hotter. He summoned me and I followed him inside. Once inside, he grabbed my hand leading me to his apartment. As soon as the door opened, he continued guiding me to his bedroom. He was shirtless and his sexy nipples, furry chest, where completely exposed. He had a great smile too, with his sexy thick beard and short black hair. He commanded I strip. Like last time, he wanted me to do it slowly. Slowly, I removed my shirt. Taking it off one sleeve at a time and doing the signature porn star thing where I raise my arms allowing my body to be in full view. I slowly took off my jean shorts, making sure I rubbed my thumb along my skin and slowly exposing my hips. Once those where off I was in nothing but my orange jock strap. I asked him if he wanted me to remove the jockstrap. He told me he wanted it to stay on. I commented that I only wore my "orange" jockstrap because the only other one was red and I'd probably do anything, anytime, anywhere anyways. Pretty close to. He laughed, impressed a little of my knowledge of color codes. He had no idea what kind of boy I really was. After some idle chit chat he finally broke the ice. His lips met mine, his tongue entered my mouth, and we both made out heavily. We continued making out, he grabbed my body forcefully, causing moans and gasps to escape. He growled as he held, caressed, and rubbed my body. I was completely surprised at how passionate he was being. He was a tad bit rougher at manifest. I sucked his nipples lightly, chewing on them a bit too. He continued to growl. He went wild when my tongue lapped at his pits. I slobbered all over his pits, sniffing them, tasting them. Finally we went to the bed. The bed was on the floor, so we made out while next to the bed. He gently, yet firmly pushed my body down onto the bed and eye level with his shorts. I rubbed my nose against the huge bulge in his shorts, licked and sucked at the bugle too. He slowly pulled down his shorts and licked the area above his cock and balls. He stopped pulling his shorts down while I was licking his groin region. "Fucking tease," I thought to myself. I pulled his shorts down completely, he stepped out of them. His cock was hard, bouncing in front of my face. I looked up at him, slowly opened my mouth, and took his cock in my mouth. Slowly, I licked around his shaft, wetting his cock all around. Going down further on him, I came up, went back down making sure that every area my mouth reached was slick and wet. I pulled off his cock for a moment to lick and suck on his balls. His moans signaled that I was doing a good job. I returned to his cock and took him deeper into my throat. In his craigslist post he said he wanted an expert cocksucker. Someone with excellent oral skills. I'll be the first to admit that I can't really deepthroat and that there are tons of guys who can suck cock better then me. But I really wanted him. Just like I wanted him that night at cumunion. Hints of doubt entered my mind as I took his cock all the way in my throat, deepthroating him. Moments of doubt, led to my throat starting to close up, panic filling my head. But then, a desire to overcome my flaws, to service him completely and in every way. "I don't care what it takes. I'm going to deep throat him, service him completely, and make Sir happy," I told myself. I don't know why I wanted him so much but I did. I was able to deep throat him completely and succcesfully. Constantly, I'd bob up and down on his cock completely and at times keeping his cock in the back of my throat and partially going up and down. He was in overload. His growls, grunts, and moans were very vocal. He kept saying, "Good boy." That was all the praise and encouragement I needed. He pulled me off his cock, raised me to his level. His lips met mine again, we made out passionately and full of lust. He pushed me on the bed on my back, raising my legs into the air. His tongue made contact with my hole and I couldn't stop moaning as his tongue dug deeper into my hole. I relaxed my hole and pushed it out as well as holding my ass cheeks apart. Feeling his fuzzy beard tickle my hole kept me squirming as well. He stopped, and I knew what was coming next. A small part of me thought about when he fucked and bred me at cumunion how I was bent over doggy style and using my poppers. I knew my poppers where in my shorts. I knew he was big and that I could really take him with poppers and really go wild. But i didn't want that. I wanted to feel every inch of this man. I don't care if it hurts or not. I want to feel all of him. Pain, pleasure, I don't care what it en composes. I just want to feel him inside me naturally. His thick cock head started to push into my hole. I relaxed myself completely and felt him enter. He felt perfect as he started slipping into my hole. Taking a deep breathe I pushed back on his cock taking him in quicker and in a fast motion. He was surprised and commented, "Damn. You're a horny fucker." He slowly started pumping in and out of my ass. I was in bliss feeling all of him and looking directly at him. I didn't want to look away. The look on his face. He started thrusting harder and I closed my eyes momentarily as I winced in pain. Fuck it hurt, but it also felt so good. I told myself I don't care how much it hurts I'll fucking take it. I'll take him. And I did. I relaxed quickly and again, looked into his eyes, he looked into mine. He lowered his head and we made out while he rocked back and forth into my hole. While fucking me he also licked and sucked on my toes too. All the while I was tightening and loosening my ass muscles for him. I felt him thrust harder and pick up speed. He started swearing, breathing heavier, and becoming much more aggressive. Hellyeah. I continued tightening my ass muscles around his cock. He started jackhammering me telling me that he's going to breed my ass. He's going to give me his load. I yelled out. "FUCK ME SIR. PLEASE SIR. MARK ME SIR. TAKE MY HOLE SIR, IT'S YOUR HOLE SIR. BREED ME SIR!". That sent him over the edge and I heard him growl and grunt, filling me with his seed. I continued to tighten my hole around him milking his cock. He commented. "FUCK BOY. YOU WORK HARD BOY. YOU FUCKING WORK YOUR ASS AROUND MY COCK!". I thought about what he said and I do work hard. Sucking him, deep throating him, working my ass muscles. But I rarely do this for anyone. No one I really feel comfortable doing it with. But I do it for him. I'm not entirely sure why. I continued milking his cock, tightening my ass refusing his cock to go soft. He continued to slowly pump away at my hole. He started jerking my cock up and down. I started to tighten up a little more too. "Sir, may I cum?" I asked. He gave me permission. He started fucking me while I was jacking my dick. Sir's cock felt so fucking good in me. He kept calling me good boy. I was his good boy, I was his hole. It didn't take much and I shot my load. I felt my ass tighten around his dick and he pumped me a little more. He pulled out though and we made out again. He grabbed my body and put me on one side of the bed. He layed on the other and we cuddled for a while. We made out a little too. While we were making out, exploring each others bodies, I knew his cock was hard again. He broke away from our kissing, and firmly guided my head to his cock. I took his cock in my mouth with greed and pleasure. I started blowing him again. Going up and down, making his cock nice and wet and sloppy. Circling my tongue around the head of his cock too. My jaw was starting to get a little cramped but I didn't let it stop me. I wanted to please this man so fucking bad for some reason. Suddenly, I felt myself being pulled off. He flipped me on my belly. I felt his weight on my naked body. His furry chest and body felt great on top of me. I then I felt his cock starting to enter me. Fuck it felt so good and I relaxed and allowed him to enter completely. Raising my ass, I matched his thrusts as he fucked me. He kept calling me a good boy, again commenting on how I work so hard at pleasing him. He also told me to look into the mirror in front of us. I looked in the mirror and saw the sexiest man ever pumping my ass. Him on top of me looked so right. I continued tightening my ass back and forth around his cock. I was really working my ass and my legs making sure i could give Sir as much pleasure as I could. Thank god I'm young and that my legs have more muscle and are stronger then my arms. He fucked me for quite a while, as he did when I was on my back. Finally I heard his breathing become heavy, his growls become louder. Again he told me he was going to breed me. I begged for it again, he shot his load in me continuing to pump it into me. I tightened up again around him making sure he felt it. Of course, he did. He stayed still on top of me for a while his cock still hard in my hole. I tilted my head, he tilted his and our lips met again. We made out while he kept pumping his load deeper into my hole. Finally, I felt him pull out slowly. Fuck I felt it when he pulled out completely. We resumed cuddling for a while again. He started jacking off, so I asked if I could too. I came, and he was close, but he stopped. I said, "Let me Sir." I straddled over him, lowering my well fucked ass onto his cock. I felt him enter me again, moaning out with lust. I relaxed, taking all of his cock inside me. I rocked back and forth and immediately heard him groan. Sir gave me a great pounding multiple times and some hot making out session. Now it was my turn. I gyrated my ass constantly, pulling off his cock, lowering myself back down rapidly several times. I could tell he was getting close from his face and the sounds he was making. He was loving it and so was I. He told me he probably wouldn't be able to cum again but wanted me to. Not a problem. I rode his cock and came over his chest. I pulled off him and we resumed cuddling again. I was so fucking horny I asked if I could jack off a few more times and I did. I came another two times. We lay still for a while but then we both took a piss. I let the load out of me while he was getting towels and damn it was a huge load. He turned the hot water on and we both took a shower together. We made out in the shower and I sucked on his nipples, and worshipped his pits again. He loved when I made love to his pits. After we showered we chatted for a while and he told me had to get some sleep. I wasn't sure what time it was until he pointed to the clock. It was 2:30. Holy shit, I got over there at 11:30. We were really going at it for 3 fucking hours? Damn. Not even me and my former partner went at it for that long, but he would fuck me for an hour or two. We made out a bit more and chatted a little more too. We said our goodbyes. He even walked me to my car. We agreed to get together again. Part of the reason why I wrote this was because this was extremly romantic and passionate. Not something I do with tops that much. Especially as much as we did. It was something special. I'm not sure if the next time it will be as romantic or if it will be more rough pig sex like at cumunion. But I can't wait.

As bearbandit said too it's just not the same anymore. Hardly any teachers, mentors, and the young guys get their info from porn and online. You see how cheesy porn acting is. Josh W. Bean is good too. I read one of his a while back. Some of the books are on kindle now. This isn't a trending thing. People know (or should) the different between an agreesive and rough top and BDSM top. BDSM sex and rough aggressive sex can be intertwined or separate. If you still want to play with these guys just say "I don't do BDSM just rough". If you just want a cheap fuck or don't mind a boy that wants to be used aggressively for fucking, then you don't need BDSm for that. But yeah, in a former relationship I was in the guys would sometimes take a strap to my ass randomly. It was fun and hot and I'm sure it was used a spicer. I would have prefered a proper scene, but I'm glad I got a little sample. I think you need to be more selective and stricter as a top too. Safe words are meant to protect bottoms and tops to ensure that they both have fun. There are also different degrees of safewords. There are sometimes words to be spoken that end everything in the scene. Make sure it's not "Stop" or "No" too since bottoms say that a lot. I can't speak for the bottoms since I don't know them but they sound like they just want a little "spice" not bdsm. It's your job and decision as a Sir and Top to decide if you want to put it up with it and find another boy or set of boys, disregard them, or maybe put the boys in line and let them know you aren't bullshitting or playing. Maybe they just need a challenge or to be put in their place in a sense. But that's your call as a top. When I've done BDSM scenes with Tops, which was very rare, I only called the safe word once or twice maybe. When I was blindfolded I was fine for a while but I had a strong and deep fear drown me and I thought the top was doing something else when all they were using was a dildo or butt plug. But I yelled stop and had a muscle spasm on my ass. But the top was understanding and we stopped and I had time to rest. The rest of the scene was lighter but the other times we got together it didn't happen again and me and the top did more. Lots of bondage, cbt, gags, sensory play, fucking, and I'm sure things I don't even know because I was blindfolded and gagged. But I trusted the top. Just know that when it comes to BDSM patience, understanding, trust, and respect is a major fucking pay off for both the top and bottom and can lead to repeated sessions and some really hot fucking sex. But that's just my view on it.

Holy Shit. A guy I met and played with at Cumunion a few weeks ago. I responded to a craigslist ad of his as a completely submissive obedient bottom even stating some of the things that we did and what I'm good at. He obviously, saw the humor and cuteness in my approach and agreed to get together with me tonight. Light dinner and I got ready. I won't even try to explain what happened here...it's not what's wanted here. But 2 loads. One on my back, and the second on my belly. I rode him for a while but he was worn out. I pushed him and he pushed me. We pushed each other. I'll leave it at that.

Holy shit. Wow. I never thought of a woman intentionally sabotaging a condom so she can have a baby. Guess it's possible. I still remember an episode of a comedy I like where a couple sabotages condoms and fills the spermicide with marshmallow puff. That was hilarious, but fucked up too. Maybe the stealthing actually comes from the straights and breeders. I meant in the OP's bullet points that's an important one not to forget. There are others too which some have pointed out but he started it in bullet points so I was trying to further that. Negs and bottoms can stealth too. I didn't think it was possible at first but I read about it. I even did think of stealthing a top once. I was neg (tested neg) but the top was hot and had a big dick. It was unplanned but I had him use boy butter on me. Once inside though I quickly changed my mind and told him to pull out. I said I can't do it with a condom and he's hot and everything but condoms aren't for me. Wrong of me to even consider doing and attempting. But at that time I think I cared more about loads then cock in my ass. I technically did beg a top to fuck me raw at a bath house once. Again, cumslut back then. He fucked me raw. I was tested neg back then but he didn't really seem to want to do it. Would that be stealthing? Didn't force him or make it against his will, but shattered his resolve. Before this thread I never knew there was so much to stealthing.

Sorry I thought I made that clear. I told him I was poz. First time we met. We saw each other a few times before I actually fucked him. So he knew I was poz. That's why I asked him if he was sure (in the heat of the moment) if he wanted it raw and when I was fucking him raw if he really wanted me to shoot. We didn't talk about it after. That was probably the worst part. I was still kind of shocked (from the hot sex...and from the poz fuck and load) that I wasn't sure what to do or say. He just thanked me and enjoyed it and sent me on my way. And that's how we left it.

Ah, Lauderdale. What a fun weekend. Dancing at hunters for hours got me horned up. Dancing with a guy and grinding against him I was fucking hard on the dance floor. I found someone on BBRT a cute bottom who wanted me to fuck him blindfold. He kinda had me wait..a while though. But he was a sexy cub and his furry hole was beautiful and blindfolded. I was hard before I took my jeans off and I spit a little on my cock and his hole and shoved it in. His hole already had loads in him. His ass felt fucking great and I bred him twice. While taking a shower he had another top come over. The dude was fucking hot. I serviced the top's cock getting him hard. Once he was hard I guided his cock to the cumdumps hole. I was stroking watching the top fuck the cumdump brutally and bred him. So horned up I bred the cumdump again. The cumdump was hard too and he fucked and bred me too. Saturday I went to a bottoms house and fucked and bred him twice. He had a great hole. I went to clubhouse II too. I went into a room with a guy and we sucked each other. He rubbed my hole and started trying to fist me. I partially let him for some reason..but just four fingers no more. He even agreed I was too tight. His dick was hard so he fucked me. His cock felt great and he bred me. I played with another guy and similar he shoved his dick in me but couldn't get it up fully to stay hard. When he was giving up I looked at his ass and I was hard. I bent him over, spit on my cock and his hole, and shoved my hard dick in him raw. His ass was great. I made it last a little and watching my cock in and out of his hole and the feeling in my head. I bred him. He thanked me. Near the lockers and the dark area a guy approached me. He said I was a cute boy and he wanted to fuck me. I bent over for him and he shoved it in hard and fast. I yelped but he told me to shut up and take it and that he was going to rape my ass. While fucking me I was starting to relax and he told me he was poz. He said he's going to poz my hole and he asked me my status. After I told him I was poz he really fucked me. He shot a load in me. He told me that he's going to slammers later. We agreed to meet. I wore my daisy dukes and a tight shirt with my boots to slammers. I met my bud and I put him on the sling and fucked him in front of everyone. I shot a load in him and while I was fucking him someone came behind and fucked me. After he left I went to piss and someone in the bathroom pushed me to the wall and shoved their cock in me. Fucking hot being fucked raw in the bathroom. He took me to a room and fucked me and bred me calling me a fucking whore and bitch while fucking me too. When he left I saw a hot Sir pass me. I tried showing him my dick but he didn't seem interested. So I turned around and rotated my ass. He walked towards me pushing me in the room. He bent me over and said he was going to fuck me. His dick was big and it kind of hurt but I took it. He fucked me brutally and poppers was the only thing I had to help take it. But I took it. He fucked me in a few different positions. He didn't bred me but said he'd catch me later. I saw a guy in a dark room bent over. His hole was full of cum so I shot another load up him. A cute guy around my age hit on me and we went in a private room. He was fucking big and he fucked me hard. The top before was GRABBING the inside of my hole and tendizing it. It fucking hurt, and this fuck hurt too but i took it. I fucked him a little too. We flipped a few time and the guy had enough and told me to take a huge hit of poppers. I did and he fucked me brutally until he bred me. I was going to the bathroom on my way out until I saw a tatted guy in the bathroom. Cute bear. His whole body was a tattoo. We made out and he took me to the bar and bought me a few drinks. Once I was drunk I had no idea what my fate would be. Guy could throw me to the wolves and I'd just take it. I was sort of out of it but i remember being in a sling and feeling his thick raw cock in me. He fucked me raw in the sling room and it felt great. I remember the look on his face too he loved it. He bred me. He was sweet too he took me to dinner after and gave me coffee to sober me up. He left me after that. I found a straight guy somewhere who was hitting on me. Kept saying he was straight but thinking about guys and said I was cute. I ended up blowing him and he shot FAST and it was a huge load. He thanked me. Then I went to clubhouse II and this big bear lumberjack guy came in. He called me a fucking pig whore and pulled me into a room. I worked his nips, pits, lips, and cock. He threw my legs up and fucked me. He was big and he wasn't gentle. I fucking took it. He fucked me for a while and in different positions but didn't come. He was fucking sexy as hell though. Need to go to Ft. Lauderdale more.

I got a reminder of what a daddy/boy dynamic can be like this weekend. I missed it a lot actually. Looking at former daddy and his strong posture and appearance. A bit of hair on the belly, legs, and ass. Proud hard curved cock with PA and his sexy face and goattee with his shaved head. We had fun. Making out, rolling around in bed, power play, and servicing him and taking his load. Although I'd had experience with Sirs and I love Sirs and serving them. There's something special, tender, and a bond with a daddy. Especially a perverted pig daddy. And yeah, fucking a dad can be hot too. I've had the experience in the past of having a dad tell me to fuck and breed him. Fuck, I'd love to do that again soon.

Ya missed one. Doctoring a condom. Some guys doctor condoms by either sabotaging them so when fucking it will break or poking a hole in them. And yeah, there is lots of fantasy talk on here but I actually know someone in Atlanta who really does stealth bottoms. He encourages others to do it to by poking holes in condoms or making new condoms less then safe when it comes down to fucking. I know there are others too. The other is just plain fucking a guy bareback without asking. That should be obvious although that might shift into another grey area. Or not so grey. I don't really consider to be #4 stealthing. I took someone who was poz when I was younger just because I was a "little" curious. When he was inside me I panicked and asked him to pull out. He did. If he didn't and fucked me would that have been stealthing? He told me his status. It would have been my fault for taking cock raw for one and for being stupid to let him fuck me raw. I was very lucky he pulled out. I think the whole notion of "Oh, just fuck me raw but don't cum in me". Needs to be thrown out. It's archaic and just plain stupid. If a guy's in you most of them will fuck and breed. I was warned when I was younger to not take a guy when on all fours because they might not always use a condom or to check behind with my hands. Well I was with a guy when I was 21 or 22 i think (fuck my memory) and we used condoms. But he was having trouble. But then suddenly he was in me. And he told me he was barefucking me and asked if he should stop. I said no, and he said he already bred me anyways. Technically that would have been stealthing. And here I am today... Just know that just because you read lots of stuff on here about poz, chem, stealthing, and infecting doesn't mean all guys are into it. Just like any fantasy. Most of it is fantasy. But also don't think it doesn't actually happen in the world. It does. If you don't mind me asking I'd like to read the research once you're done too. It sounds interesting.

Damn just as everyone else said just be yourself. You're versatile so you get the best of both worlds. Do whatever makes your dick hard. Whether it's sucking a man's cock, licking his balls, chest, nipples, pits. Just drown yourself in the lust and feelings of a naked man in front of you. Anything and everything you want to do to him, do that. That's what pigs do. That's what sluts do. If you like giving a man service or being submissive to him do everything with your body, mouth, hands, and ass that pleases the man. Show him your not just an ordinary slut boy and that you have eagerness, desire, and lust. You don't need drugs, you don't need alcohol, or poppers. Some people like to have them but focus on learning about your "natural" sluttiness for the time being. Another thing that's part of being slutty which not everyone thinks is letting a guy touch you, rub you, suck you, and worship you. Allowing them to do that and to feel the pleasure. Yes there's getting fucked or fucking in bathrooms, truckstops, sex clubs, glory holes, outdoors, and etc. etc. etc. or with multiple guys. But for now just focus on exploring your slutty side and what makes you hard and what makes the guy you're with hard. Although, if you find a trainer or mentor don't pass that opportunity up as well. And yeah, 18 is a great age to discover being a slut. I did, don't regret anything.

Shit, I don't normally revive a thread...nor was I trying to. Haha. I love that. Club LaLaDale. It is a beautiful, amazing resort if you go for relaxing purposes. You're right, I don't know if they bb or not but hearing poz scares the shit out of them. Yes they are. Even when I went two years ago a daddy top took me to his room and fucked and bred me multiple times. That was the first place I visited in Ft. Lauderdale. I wasn't really asked to be fucked by everyone nor if they could breed me. Same as the guy I fucked and bred. He was having trouble getting it up and when he got up to put his towel on, his ass looked sexy as hell. I just got hard, spit on my dick, and shoved it in. He didn't complain and I bred him too. And even a poz guy fucked me raw without really saying anything and said he was poz while fucking me. He didn't seem surprised when I told I already was. Condoms do break you're right. A lot of guys say or think they're neg and don't know. When I was taking lots of raw cock if guys asked I'd just say, "Haven't been tested" or "Tested Neg a few months ago." That was all I could tell them. Damn. Seriously? You do the testing and guys still fuck raw and breed? I've always felt that when testing goes on it's either one extreme or the others. Guys either are scared shitless to bb with pressure of guys being tested and maybe being poz or they say fuck it and go all bare. Flex has been like that at times. When there was testing there once everyone was playing safe. Well everyone I encountered. I wonder if I saw you. I was there saturday and sunday around 5 am. I think it was saturday..don't remember it was after 5 am or closer to 10. But I think I saw someone walking around with a biohazard tatoo. That got me thinking, especially after getting turned down by so many guys. "If I had a biohazard tatoo, wouldn't it be easier?" Don't know if it was you or not, but you seriously got me thinking about it. Uh, yeah we should have. I wasn't that organized on this trip to Ft. Lauderdale so I mostly played at the clubs but missed out on other opportunities. If I come back though, we will. There were some cute staff workers there too. One was cruising me . Well that and I was sort of thrown off by so many guys rejecting me from being poz. But I but if it was done without anything said, they'd do it. I got lots of guys that said, "Oh...you don't look poz." That's fine, I doubted it too for a minute. But then I thought of all the guys that rejected me and the fear of telling a really hot guy at a bar weeks ago that I was poz. It scared me into even talking to him for long. I just left. I can agree with that stance. Being Undectable and being on meds is a way that helps the neggies. Even if they fuck up and take you raw or play with you from being drunk, horny, or I dunno human, they're more protected. I guess that means I'm not since I'm not on meds yet. Unfortunately certain situations and places I've lived and where I've been have tossed me back and forth so I haven't gotten the chance. But last my doctor told me my viral load wasn't too high and my cd4 was actually high. But yes, once I get tested again in May I will get on meds. I guess that means I'm a bastard right now fucking and sucking on both ends being completely untreated. You did say though that you've had momentary judgement lapse and let a guy blow you or do something with a guy without saying your status. It was momentarily lapse of judgement and part of being human. You also stated that it's unfair that neg guys can get away with judgement lapse or just being human but poz guys have to act godly like and look after everyone and can't afford to fuck up or even be human. I told you that left an impression me. I was in that situation once with a guy. We both were drunk and horny but i was using a condom to fuck him because he was neg. But he wanted it raw especially since I have trouble getting it up with a condom. And he wanted me to breed him to and I asked him if he was sure and knowing what it meant. And he wanted it so I gave it to him. But I'm sure people would still find that wrong. Contact was lost after that and I don't know if he's poz now or not, or if I'm the first that's done that to him. But even if I was, doesn't mean mine would necessarily infect him. I really hope I didn't. I don't blame you for having caution with topping someone even being undetectable. But with a poz guy, I'll fuck and seed him in a heartbeat. Shit, was that a professional men's health website? Wow what a fucking joke. Impolite to cum in someone's mouth without asking? Fucking priceless. If someone ever said that I'd burst out laughing. No wonder so many people are confused with mixed/flawed information like that. Conscious agrees with you. Although I'm sure half of the guys ran scared and maybe even went home it does make them think. "He said he's HIV? How many guys don't tell me their poz?". By not saying something or "masking it" then it doesn't really help anyone you're right. It's like being gay. Someone hiding being gay or the "Don't ask, don't tell" That doesn't help us in any way. It's probably the way it's talked about too. Showing fear, hesitation, or nervousness in telling someone you are poz or being timid about it will probably result in them being scared or shy about getting tested or asking others too. They'll think, "Oh god, it's such a painful thing to admit. Then it's probably painful for me to ask guys if they are neg or poz. It looks too hard, I won't do it." I'll go back to you're perfect world segment again. In a perfect world meeting a guy and saying, "Oh hai I'm poz". Or when you are in bed with someone or before sex saying. "I'm HIV Positive but not full blown AIDS I'm undetectable on meds." with full strength, conviction, and confidence. Surely the confidence and strength shown will encourage the guy or sex partner to ask himself or do the same. But in reality with fear, judgement, stigma, and self doubt this is nearly impossible to do for most guys. I would love to meet a man one day who can say his status without breaking a sweat and even being rejected still be confident and strong. Even being rejected by a string of men. If he could still stand tall after being rejected and not letting the rejection affect him personally then I'll do it too. It's easy to say what the right thing to do is and what we should do, but the reality and the action of doing is much much more difficult. I'll even use another example. Gay couples holding hands in public. Some guys don't do it out of fear. Some guys do it and don't give a fuck what others think. But by not doing it because of fear, it's letting people define how they should behave in public despite what others do. By holding hands in public it shows strength, conviction, and not giving a shit what people think and knowing that it will piss people off. But it also makes them AWARE whether they want to be or not. Awareness is probably the key word. Back to what you said before why is that poz guys have to be godly, why do we have to show now fear, hesitation, and have to carry the weight of the neggies. It's not entirely fair to ask, it's also not something everyone can do. But believe me, if I had the strength, morality, and courage to I would. Could be partially because I'm young but having a guy fuck me raw without words spoken or fucking him raw and breeding him is just liberating. When I have sex I don't like to think of politics, issues or rights, stress, worries, fears, or anything. I just like to focus on the guy I'm with, the strength and virility I'm showing when I'm topping. Or when I'm bottoming, focusing on the guy and doing anything and everything I can to please him and show him my obedience, servitude, and eagerness. But as you've pointed out by being unmedicated, by not discussing or admitting status I'm not helping anyone. And it's probably a little selfish but in the RIGHT environment like cumunion or a bareback or poz event or location I don't want to. I just want to focus on sex, the smell of sex in the air, the atmosphere, and the guys, and the primal lust of the guys looking for sex and participating in sex. But maybe in a more public place like a bar, event, or in more of the safer places I'd like to be more open and honest about my status and strong. I still remember when a guy at a bar in Atlanta went apeshit for me being honest about barebacking. And I defended myself fully and strongly, didn't hesitate or back down and told the guy it's my fucking life and my choices and they sure as hell won't affect him because I won't be doing anything with him. I don't know if people were listening or not, but regardless I showed my strength, conviction, and dedication to what I do and standing by it. It's also partially because I'm still freshly poz you could say. I have all kinds of morals, ideas, dreams, expectations, hopes and worries. About sex, barebacking, poz, guys, and many other things. So I'm probably somewhat like a blank canvas, but I'll do my best to filter through good advice and bad advice and ultimately try to find the right combination that works for me and makes me who I am. But I'll admit, lately, and probably further down I'm sure it will be difficult especially figuring it out by myself. But I'm stubborn as hell. But I do respect your views poz1959, woods, and everyone else's. And while I won't let anyone control or dictate my life I still take suggestions, views, and ideas and see if they work for me or if I can make some sense out of them.

I have a little more understanding from poz1659 now. I went to the club in Ft. Lauderdale last weekend. Lots of cute, hot guys there and some wanted to play with me. Before we go to sucking or fucking, when we got into my room I told them I was poz. Almost every single one of them dropped me like a hot potato. Some guy wanted to suck in me in the steam area. I took him to my room and told him I was poz. He said he's happy I told him. I told him that I always tell guys before we do anything sex related. I said not every guy does though, some guys get blown and blow other guys and don't say if they are poz or not. The guy told me that was immorally wrong and illegal for guys to do that. I told him that he should try to see it from their point of view though. Getting rejected by 99% of guys for being super honest is very disheartening. He told me he didn't want to have sex with me because I'm infected but i could lay next to him. He told me he had friends that are poz so he's cool with it and accepts poz guys. He said I was a nice guy too. I tested him and asked him if after or maybe sometime that day or the next day if he'd want to grab a drink and hang out. He told him he can't and that he has stuff to do but enjoyed meeting me. Yet he was talking like we were buddy buddy before. And the rest of the guys just flat out said they couldn't do anything with someone who's poz. And oddly enough I found a poz guy. It was sad how we were both feeling each other, exploring bodies, but not kissing or no sexual contact. I realized that he was the same as me, and afraid to go further. I told him I'm poz and he told me he is too. But because I'm not undectable he fucked me with a condom. Wasn't bad as I thought it would be, but probably horrible feeling for him. I know lots of guys who don't feel anything with a condom on. So that was my experience with the club. Honesty lead to not even getting my dick sucked. Although I did suck one guy in the dark room, but he kinda pushed me onto his dick before i could say anything. Didn't say anything after. Fortunately, I met someone who gave me a bit of advice. Him being poz himself. He told me he never says he's poz if it's just oral. Even if it's anal if he's getting fucked, he won't say status. If he's fucking he will. And if a guy asks, "Are you clean" he doesn't even bother with a vague statement like that. He doesn't believe it's poz guys jobs to protect naive neggies. But it could be the safe sex posters and testing schedule around scares guys into using condoms. And then i went to the right place. Clubhouse II. Sucked lots of dick, someone tried to fist me (4 fingers...strong poppers...wasn't sure why I let him...challenge?) and most guys I went into a room with fucked me raw. No questions asked. A few bottoms wanted me to fuck them so I fucked them. I loved that. Just sucking and fucking no questions asked. A little before I left a top found me in the maze secluded area. He slapped my ass and told me he's going to fuck me. I bent over the chair and he told me he'll fuck me raw with his poz cock and breed me. He shoved it in, but I took it and loved it. He asked me if I was neg and I told him I was poz. That turned him on. While fucking me, he told me I don't need to worry abou status at clubhouse II. he told me most guys that go there are poz or don't care and almost everyone fucks raw. That was good to know. I went to slammers after with a friend and I fucked him raw in the sling. Some other guys watched and someone fucked me while I was breeding my bud. After he left I enticed several tops by turning around and showing my ass. Again, no mention of status. They saw an ass and shoved their raw cock in me and fucked me. Some bred me. I saw some hot bottoms around too and I fucked some and bred some. Some guys I flip flopped with. But that's the sexual freedom that more guys need. Especially poz guys. And I'm sure someone will say it's wrong. But it's worse feeling like crap after everyone rejects you for being honest. If you're gonna suck someone it's just oral. If they are going to suck you, it's oral and they aren't as at risk. And as for fucking, most guys are less at risk if they are fucking instead of getting fucked. The bottoms I fucked too had loads up their ass. Several. I know they weren't all neg. Although I'll have to admit. Even in a place like slammers I did encounter a top who used condoms on many guys. Or tried too. Also got rejected by quite a few. Although he bought me a few drinks, got me drunk, and fucked me raw on the sling. I think the trick with going to the bath houses and having oral sex or bareback sex and deciding to mention status or not is partially determining the location. If it's more of a safe sex place, better to be honest and let them know even if rejection. Or just settle for oral. But if it's a real piggy sleezy place where 99% of the guys bareback, breed, and get bred, then IMO no questions are needed. However, better suited for the no questions asked are events like poz nights, groups, or cumunions. Technically there is always a risk. But if someone wants to take it bare and doesn't ask, it's partially their own naiveness.

I wonder what makes yours so different then. At the very least, since I was a tad bit worried they had a poz doctor come in before they took my blood. He explained he was poz and has been for a number of years and still happy and healthy. I'm sure there are several men who need someone to tell them something like that when they first find out. I completely agree. If the condom agenda wasn't shoved down my throat so much, I probably would have used condoms more. You're right, videos showing the guys who are more likely to infect others. Not the pozzies, but the ones that don't know their status, that don't get tested fuck around. Maybe some kind of video too showing what poz guys can do too so people think they aren't a walking deathbed. That's great that you do that. I'm sure it helps a lot. I've been people post craigslist ads too or manhunt ones that explain or try to that they are still human and that they still have the right to touch and have human contact. It's even more impressive that you give up a hook up ad for the sake of teaching and enlightenment. Although, you've said it's gotten you laid a few times. I'm not that noble. But I appreciate that you and others do it. Well, the guy was bi, and a client. Yeah, the fact that I allowed someone to treat me like that, whether they are a client or a hook up, isn't right. But hindsight. I tried to educate the bi veteran and construction worker who fucked me a few nights ago. But no matter once I told him after he said, "Oh..I thought you were kidding about being poz" all that he could see was fear and me as just a disease. Some people can't be reached. But I tried at least. But that was my fault going after a straight type guy. I normally avoid bi guys or straight minded guys like the plague. But something about him. That's exactly why I don't really rim. Regardless of who it is. Only if I know the guy well or have seen him a few times. Well I've done it at a bath house before but me and the guy showered together. Hot, car mechanic. In some ways I don't think guys are really afraid of sucking a poz cock whether it's undetectable or unknown. It's more of what it leads to. Will the guy get aggressive? Will they want to take the cock in their ass? Some guys love anal. I'm one of them. It's more like accepting a poz cock in any shape or form is an entrance to FULL SEX with a poz guy. Or at least, maybe that's what they think. Oh, so you do live in a city? There's a least 3 gay bars then? I've known people who have literally had nothing in their small town. I've also seen how small towns can affect people. Sorry that you only have a twink dance bar though. You have a bath house too? You shouldn't be so surprised or against that twink bar then. I used to go to a twink dance bar. I saw a really sexy older guy there occasionally and I saw them take how a twink or a guy. As an older man something you should never underestimate is someone young? Wasn't it back in the 80's or that time period when mentoring was actually common? Plus a lot of guys be it younger or older, are attracted to older. Again, it's the only club to meet up at besides the baths so it's going to bring out more of a crowd than just twinks. Even though I don't like Atlanta which is a tad bit selfish seeing it's a big city. I'm starting to appreciate the bars, clubs, and people that are here. I'd like to live elsewhere but even I believe I can find something for me in the city, even if it's just temporary. As far as a smartphone goes. To be quite honest there are extremely decent smartphones you can get around $100-$200 off contract and so so ones under $100. The era of smartphones being just for the upper class or with a high paying job isn't the case anymore. But I won't get into that here. I disagree partly with that. No one wanted to touch me when I was 18 because I was jailbait. Even when I was in my 20's or so still I've always seen the older men get more action. A friend of mine agreess in his 20's he was mostly passed on but when he got into his 30's all of a sudden guys looked at him. Being poz is another and I'm sure the years you spent being honest and rejected probably hurt. Things are changing now, although slowly. Give yourself more credit and try to get out there a little more. If you're town isn't working for you travel or take a day trip or weekend trip elsewhere to find what you need or want. Don't settle. You'd be surprised at how hot older bottoms are and how sought after they are. Just don't stop trying and don't give up. Keep putting yourself out there. I've been doing that too for a while now and it pays off.

I didn't agree with it. I told them I wouldn't play with anyone right now and condoms would break. I asked, hows that safe sex if I'm fucking someone or they are fucking me and the condom breaks and they get infected. They just said something like just make sure I use new condoms and good ones. And of course I didn't. I guess, the fact that they are encouraging me to go play was a good thing. So they were trying to make me feel a little better I suppose. At the time, I felt like shit though so I wasn't in the mood to hear any of it. I can understand why you have a dilemma with telling people. I can't imagine what it's like to go from week, month, to year and get rejected by so many guys for being poz. Even something as simple as a blow job is a missed opportunity. I had a guy come over once who just had me jack him off. Just touching me was something he was afraid to do he wanted no bodily fluid contact. Some of us need to remember too that not everyone lives in a big city. In big cities you can pass on one guy to the next one in line. Can't do that in small towns. Also, being older people judge you and see in a different way. Good and bad. I really don't blame you for not wanting to tell a guy anything. Both you and I are of different generation. And I'm a city person so even though I'm poz and will get rejected there are lots of poz guys around and even some who will want to maybe play who are neg. But I understand you don't have that. The only way to really catch it from oral is if dental surgery is done. People will always consider it a fear because as "RARE" as it may be it's still a "possibility". As long as there is a "possibility" there will be fear. I'm going to try and do more piggy, raw, bb club type atmospheres where most guys are already poz or bb. I guess I'll have to make my own decision about telling someone if they blow me or I blow them. But by doing so, I might have to use my hand more often. I'm glad you won't let anything stop you from getting human contact and sex. Everyone deserves human contact. I won't let stigma, fear, or people get to me either.

Guys use DDF all the time on places like manunt and craigslist. I always see. "Neg/Clean/DDF/" DDF really means Drug and Disease Free. Sometimes they'll say clean or clean only. I used DDF when I was younger just because I wasn't into druggies and it was easier to say "DDF" then "Drug Free and Negative Only". I'm not sure if spelling it out is worse or if DDF is worse. I've seen profiles too say "Don't use DDF, it's offensive" and things like that too. Honestly, it doesn't offend me. Some guys want someone who is drug free and disease free. Technically I have a disease. Does this make me a crack whore or a junkie? No it doesn't. Does this mean I'm labelled alongside them. To some, I am. All it does is weed out the bastards who I don't want to meet or who are going to fuck me over anyways. Although, I love it when I see, "Bare only for Neg, DDF". That just makes me laugh. Overall, the DDF term isn't helping anything. But I'm pretty sure it's here to stay. Just like the DL.

You don't have to it's up to you. I'll elaborate on that. I used to be a hopeless romantic boy. Fell in love with a Master and his slave. Became part of the relationship and became his slave. When he first fucked me it was with condoms. I told him condoms only. Diddn't even swallow back then. A year into the relationship one night he fucked me bare. It was making love in my mind and heart. And one of the last times we had sex too. After that it was sexless or just sex with my slave brother, who although I loved, didn't have the dominance that Master had. So from all the nights and encounters of condom sex and guys trying to bareback me I only used condoms. So when a guy stealthed me bare and admitted he was fucking me bare I think it became somewhat of a fetish. It was something dark, secret, and unknown that always existed but never explored. Then after I got back from hawaii I tried to find neg guys to fuck me bare and just wanted it to be occasional. But I obsessed over it and needed bare cock in me, needed the loads. If you want to get philosophical I replaced love, emotions, and relationship with bare cock, loads, and as much bareback sex as I could. From then on it was no longer about love making or saving myself for someone it was just another raw cock. I don't think that way anymore. I've heard of guys talking about bb as being a fetish that's how I saw it. Although I've kinda gone wild with bb sex lately after ending my 8 month relationship recently. It hasn't been about loneliness, depression, or me missing something. It's been about sexual freedom and exploring my sexuality and what gets my dick hard as a top, bottom, and a man. That's why I pointed out "going back to before bb sex was a fetish and love making". Unfortunately that man completely fucked my views on sex and what a relationship should and be like that. I feel bad that I let him do that to me but I was very young and impressionable. But if I ever have a relationship again I won't make the same mistakes I've made or others have. I've learned from a lot of them and many people. I think more people view it as a fetish then you think. I just don't think they think they see it as a fetish or call it that. I do, because that what it used to be for me. But now, yeah it is just sex. That's what you get when you have a naive, young, and impressionable sense of thinking, influence, and life though. Yes. Something that really bugs me about some leather communities too. You have influential people who are adored and put on display. Yet, behind the curtains they bareback all the time but never admit to it. Yet, the ones who are honest about barebacking or poz are outcasted. It sickens me to be honest. Especially in a leather sense. But even in a non leather setting it's still not right for guys to bareback other guys and view someone for being poz or bad for barebacking openly. But that's life. You are right. The denial of admitting to barebacking or asking the real questions and getting tested. That's why it's so rampant. People know they can get tested and treated. But they don't. Answer. Denial of everything.

I do apologize for getting personal and getting way too lengthy. I was somewhat inspired, hurt, and educated. Lots of strong feelings. It might not be the mark of **** now but it used to be and guys like bearbandit and poz1956 have been through it and lived with it. Part of it is uncertainty if I'll live through a similar thing they did. But things are changing and people's view is a bit different then what it used to be. It's a fear of uncertaintity you could say. Didn't mean to project it so vocally and lengthy though. I know poz1956 isn't lying about status. But he's right about the blowjob aspect. A guy blows you or blow them you don't even think about status. But if they happen to ask it's hard to know what the right thing to do is. You don't want to freak them out and have them react in a bad way. But you feel guilty that you didn't say anything but more of the fact that you should have to. That's how I interpreted what he said. I do believe you probably get laid as a poz guy more if you're honest and state it. I have it in all my profiles even growlr. I completely agree with BBHZ too and you about neggers needing to have personal responsibility. But looking at it in "Woods" perspective which is a very realistic one. A poz man is still found guilty if he has sex with a negger and doesn't disclose status or vague word like "Clean". Regardless of the situation. That was also poz1959's comment about it being unfair and tiresome for poz men to be the "conscious or mind" for neggers making sure they don't make a mistake. It's not a poz guy's job to make sure a neg guy doesn't get infected. But in the eyes of the law and society it is. It's that pressure of being poz and knowing that which I'm sure is very heavy. Something I haven't experienced yet but sure in time I will. But everyone's perspective and view is important. I can understate and relate to most views that have been said. And it really all comes down to one's view and choices. But I do agree that poz guys shouldn't be held responsible to make sure they wear a fucking neon sign that says "I'm fucking poz" so that way the neggers can clearly and soberly see that they are poz and understand. Bit of exaggeration I know. Thank you JizzDUMPWI. I appreciate the response. Sorry I fucked up some of yours and the others postings too. Wasn't trying to crash anything. But wood wants to talk about being a killjoy. I've been known to kill threads before with constant text walls. Never intentionally though.

I'll not be so legnthy. You are right, sometimes if a bottom tightens that aren't into you or the situation. One guy I was with last night his partner was really into me but he didn't seem so much, and I could tell he was tightening up. He told me later, because he was kissing and all over me, that he doesn't do public sex as much, especially since we were in an open room. He was nervous was all. But you are right, the top has to do their job too. I guess that comes from experience of being with different types of tops. I'll remember that. Holy shit, I literally spit my coffee at the computer screen when you said open gash. I don't know why but the way you phrased that was fucking funny as hell. I call it practice and motivation. I agree with that. I'd much rather be with a bottom who knows how to tighten up his ass muscles or loosen them up and know when to and fuck him for a long time. Breeding him too and fucking him for a session then just seeding a number of bottoms. Quality over quantity. I guess I mostly tighten up now. Seems to be what the tops I'm with so far like. Feels fucking great in my hole too.

Damn, I like that one. If I ever make a band or something, can I get the rights from you to call my band, "The Pozzies"? I claim rights to mine "Safers". I came up with it a while back. Totally gonna patent it. I didn't know that was the reason for it. But I know currently most doctors or nurses call it "safer" sex. Since there is always the risk of condoms breaking or something happening. Yet, I love how when I became poz the doctor recommended I go out and have a lot of sex and use a condom and be young, healthy, and cute, and have sex with as many guys as I want as long as I use a condom. Although a bit younger, one once told me the safest sex is "oral sex". And have lots of oral. Although, one of my former partners got poz because he had dental work done and went to the bath houses and sucked off someone who was poz. Not the smartest thing to do. I don't know if the guy told him he was or not. I've only known one guy EVER ONE who put a condom on my cock when he sucked me. I wanted to ask him if he was from one of those sex ed videos or something. It was fucking horrible by the way. By the way, I've never really noticed you before but your posts and views on being poz are incredible. I can completely understand you not having much bb sex with safers yet and just pozzies right now. It's a lot safer on many levels. And you don't have to deal with a lot of vague shit if you just have sex with poz guys. Or for that matter be in an LTR with one. Some do that as a way of coping. LOL HIV 101. I see myself doing that too. I had to tell the construction worker guy that it's a lot safer if he tops. But after he realized I was being honest about poz he just said, "You scare me." and sent me away. Nothing I could have done or said would have budged him. I'm so sorry that you got set up for a bashing. I've never really thought much of bashings until seeing them in shows recently. I never imagined how bad they can actually be. But now that the thought is in my head whether they are real or not, or still happen it's pretty fucking scary. I hope you didn't get hurt too bad. LOL. Neggies. Much win. I haven't seen insane neggies yet but I'll take you're word for it. I hope not to, but I'm sure it will happen. Someone once warned me to never tell anyone I'm poz because some guys aren't cool about it. I'm sure I'll be lying in a gutter somewhere. Too fucking honest for my own damn good. I'm sorry that you've lived in a small area too. I can certainly understand the don't ask but don't tell theory if there are no fish in the pond even more so. I think I told someone once I BB at a bar when we were talking and he fucking called me on it shouting and screaming that it's unsafe and that I'm going to get poz. I defended myself and what I did, right there in front of everyone. If I was poz. I bet he would have taken a fucking swing at me. Dude was apeshit. I'm sorry that some experiences have left you with confidence shattered and alone with your dick in you're hand. There is enough of life to do that. Don't need something more. I haven't yet got to experience being turned down at bars or places or facing the stigma of guys saying "FUCKING POZ" or something like that. But if I'm honest then I'm sure there is plenty of hell for me, just like you've gone through. But as you say, in theory the guy should react rationally and understand. I really hope that being poz doesn't shatter my confidence from being rejected or hurt by guys who don't understand. I'm glad you shared you're experienced, I have something to sort of prepare and strengthen myself for so I don't let them get to me when it happens. You aren't alone in that experience. I think at the bookstore when the guy fucked me and I told him I was poz. I did suck a few guys there and I didn't say. But...but blowjob isn't sex. It's still wrong and I should have said something. But i was afraid of being rejected from something simple like blowing a guy. But...he'll understand and appreciate you're honest and know that a blowjob isn't a big deal. I don't know if I'll tell guys I'm poz if I just blow them. I haven't thought about that one. Just some guys hearing poz will make them go bat shit crazy. But that's something you've been through and I'll have to as well. ...I think I'll eventually feel that way someday. It's completely justified the way you feel. But I'm sure it's horrible to fully realize it. That is one of the most honest and truthful things I've seen someone post about being poz. Thank you for that...really thank you. I never thought about that but you're probably right. Those god fearing, judgmental neggies who view pozzies as sickly and disease ridden. If they were to ever become poz. God help us all. They'll probably take it out on the fucking world. That is a beautiful comparison. You're right being poz is like having a power, a curse, or mark. However you want to interpret it. Not something any of us wanted. Most at least. Even undetectable you have that power. And here is why. What people fear, respect, worship, live by isn't so much something that's physical. It's more of an idea, belief, or something that is felt more then seen. Not just talking about people's belief in relgion...WHICH I WILL NOT GET INTO. Just the power in the words "I am poz" regardless if you are undetectable or not. It will still fill many people with hatred, fear, confusion, desire, or unknown. Just that idea of being poz is strong enough and effects people. The undetectable and all that to most is just a useless tag. I'm sorry...really sorry that it's messed with you're sex life for 28 years. I'll do the best to NOT let that happen to me. If I can. Still what you said earlier...damn that's going to get to me later I'm sure. Unfortunately there really are some out there. Hell there are guys who stealth even who are neg. There are dark or unknown aspects you could call it. Hidden message boards, groups, shit like that. Just because you don't like to think about them they are out there. Maybe not so much in numbers or vocal presence. Probably very divided. But still out there. I'll make one final comment on this and to you about being poz. When I saw my friends of my friends at the bar last saturday. I spent christmas with them, one of them gave me a leather jacket saying I earned from how hard I've been working, my honor, integrity, respect, and how much I've grown. Seeing the distraught, concern, and disappointment in their eyes when they found out I was poz really fucking hurt. I was out of it at that point and spiraled quickly into depression in the bar. I was silent and lost in my thoughts. Thinking back to the former Master who built me up and then dropped me. To when I was safer and neggie and how bb sex disguisted me. And how just one guy and my Master mutilated my idea of a relationship being about love and honesty. I just wanted to go back to that point and stop myself from meeting the guy who stealthed me and in some ways the Master who stopped having sex with me and a relationship even though I was his boy. I thought if I went with the other couple who wanted me to be their boy I think I'd be a lot different then neg. But they reminded me that they still love me and care about me and regardless of what anyone says about me being positive or being sick I can't let that get to me. I still have people who care about me and that's what matters. And although now I've fully realized that in many aspects I wish I wasn't poz. I'm going to do my best to not let it get to me. But I can't help wondering what kind of a different person I'd be if I never thought of BB sex in my mind and it being a fetish. So instead I'll focus on who and what I can become today. But thank you really, I know you were responding to the other guy but everything you wrote really helped me and made me think quite a bit. I'm glad that guys like you, bearbandit, and others have survived and made it to today. Despite everything you've had to endure.

I understand you're issue with that wood. And it's justified. But you also know the context of the poster's case. The dude was fucking high out of his mind with already loads up his ass. I think part of the thing is you aren't see it from a different POV. You are right about it being wrong to be dishonest and saying that all us pozzies need to be upfront about it. But a bareback cumdump who's fucked up high or drunk and taking raw loads is a fucking wildcard in my book. Regardless of what the law says. That's my view on it. I don't believe in protecting stupidity or people who do stupid things. They are leaving their chances to fate. I'm not saying I should add to it. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But technically I did breed a bottom in a sling at a sex club recently after I became poz a year ago. His ass was dripping cum. Maybe he was neg, maybe he was poz. To me he was a hole and a damn good one. To him, I was just a cock another raw cock. Although nothing was said, I've been there before. I knew what he was thinking. I see the main gist of what you're saying. Yes, if someone at a bath house or club comes up and says "Hey you clean?" when it comes to fucking. I'm not going to lie and say, "yeah. I'll fuck ya bare.". I'll say, "Yeah I'm clean and positive. Cleanest type." There is always a bit of stigma and rejection at clubs. The poster was a little peeved that the dude ignored him at first and then got high and wanted dick. People make bad judgement calls in sex clubs it's fucking human and animalistic sometimes there. Can you agree that we poz men SHOULD if someone asks if we're clean, tell them the truth and that we are poz and let them decide. Because I agree with that. But if a bottom is fucked up from being high or drunk and taking loads. I don't think I'd lie. But if he doesn't ask his cumhole is fair game to me. I was once stupid enough to ask guys if they were clean or negative when I took bare loads in clubs. I was dumbfuck back then. And no I'm not vengeful. I don't wish this on anyone, but I believe in actions and consequences. Of my own and others. You make a good point. I've known guys that go there just to jack off. But you need to understand that if you see a guy taking nothing but raw cock that in some ways he is fair game. Now if someone just cruises you and wants to play and asks if you're clean, yes you should say you're poz and be honest. That's a person not a cumdump. But, I can see also why some guys would just say, "Yeah I'm clean" and fuck them and poz them. It's a mixed things because I can't completely blame the poz top or the naive bottom. Some people will to the T take "you're word" or whatever you say as truth and your decision. And some won't. I think guys need to be more educated before they visit the baths. But that's not something you or I can control. I personally will tell a guy I'm positive even if he asks if I'm clean. However, as someone pointed out before there can be judgement laps in bath houses and sex clubs and a mistake could be made for either a neg guy or poz guy. And that's part of being human and the atmosphere of a bath house. I understand that some guys go there and don't even want to get fucked. But they don't call them "ADULT" clubs for nothing. There is a risk going into a bath house even if you don't want to get fucked. I almost got raped in one once. The guy would not take "NO" for an answer. Was that fair for me? No? Did I deserve it? I'm not sure. But I was in a place that's about sex, lust, desire, and animalistic pleasure and hedonism. It's a fucking pandora's box and I got in that situation. If I wanted to be completely safe I'd stay at home. He didn't penetrate me but he tried. I'll be honest, I was starting to think that after reading your posts earlier. But reading more I believe you in that's not the case. I have to say I'm sorry that you got calls from the health department. I think it's chicken shit when guys tell a health worker to notify their sex partner. I've never had a health department do that when I was poz I told the guys "whose names I knew and had their numbers" I was poz and most were cool and some dropped me like a hot potato. I made the mistake though once of telling the health department the names and numbers of the guys who I slept with recently. They kind of harassed my friends. The fucking health lady even came to my house to find me when I wouldn't return her call because I was at work and couldn't take calls. She dropped a letter off at my apartment personally. Some of them are fucking nuts. Here on out, I'm saying it's anonymous. I know they have a job to do, but I also have a job to protect myself and those I care about. But I won't get into that too much. I have mixed feelings about PREP. I know some guys in my city who take it and take all the loads up their ass now. There is actually a council meeting on PREP in my city at emory university soon. I saw it advertised. I'm actually going to talk to an HIV nurse who is a friend of my friend soon. I've learned a lot more lately and have more questions about being poz. To be honest, I know the law for GA. If it was a fucked up or homophobic judge it could easily get twisted and I could have my ass thrown in jail. I've seen racism from cops in Atlanta first hand in my city when I was with a friend. And I've heard stories of homophobia in midtown from cops. But that doesn't happen as much, at least I hope not. You're right it isn't a place where guys should lie. But they still will. Even ones who aren't poz. I have to admit part of the fucked view is recent. You are right a lot of HIV+ is glorified on this forum. Because parts of this forum are for fantasy. Hell when I was first nervous about bbing and asking some people where honest and told me first hand what it's like having HIV and that it's not something I should want. I didn't want HIV but I knew that the path I was going on I'd have it. But to use condoms and play safe isn't who I am. Restraint isn't me. And I'm poz for it. I thought it was freeing and liberating at first even though I wasn't chasing. But I got a lot of back lash from people and unfortunately I was in a relationship for 8 months shortly after. To say I was shielded from stigma, rejection, and hard lessons is an understatement. Now that I'm single and poz, I feel like I've just become poz. I read a lot about gay history in the past, stonewall, and when AIDS came about. I've heard countless stories of experiences of guys during that time period too. But it really hit me when watching queer as folk lately all the homophobic characters in the show. The bashing, the cops, and amazed me the idea of a poz guy marrying a neg guy. Although, it's a safer sex encouraged show, there is a lot to it. Also, watching dallas buyers club got me thinking a lot too. I read a lot of bullshit and biased stories too when I looked up state laws relating to HIV decriminalization and it pissed me off. You could say any bullshit, prejudice, discrimination, or fights that people go through I kind of take personally or on my own. Is it right of me to do it? Should I? I don't really know. I just know that gays and poz guys..no people have gone through so much so that someone in my age group can have so much more freedoms in life. And I don't want to disgrace that but I won't be dishonest to myself either. In some ways I want to be the best damn poz, gay, leathermen ever. Two experiences with neg guys now has been negative. I'm not entirely sure if I'll reject a neg guy that wants to date me. But the reality is there are some things that a neg guy can never understand about being poz. Whether that's a deal breaker for a relationship though is up to the two guys. Also, I truly believe that if a cure for HIV is never found. That someday all the medications will run out, or they won't be able to give them for free or to people with low income like they do now. And all us poz guys will be fucked. Not pleasant to think about, but nothing fuels me more to live in the now, to try to be stronger, and to be honest then the reality whether irrational or not, that one day I'm going to fucking die. And in that sense I will say, being poz has made me so much stronger. I've made myself free. That had nothing to do with being poz. That was done dealing with bullshit people and situations. I agree with that as well. Every guy I've talked to in person cautioned me about catching HIV when I was neg. And once I was poz, no one I've talked to or been with is "glad" that they have it. Neither am I. But I accept it. You need to understand that not everyone on here wants to debate, wants to read important perspectives, or go into detail. They want cock pics, ass pics, hot stories or sex chat type talk. And there's nothing wrong with that. But they don't want to know. It's a shame ya, but it's out there for them to read if they chose to. It can't be forced. And yes, they are both really inspiring. I can't believe that they have lived for as long as they lived with all the shit that used to come with being poz and how much worse it was. I kinda hope I'll live that long and I can see this generation's perspective on being poz and how much different it was from the previous. But more than anything, I'd like to do something if I can. I'm really sorry to hear about the fact that you're older friend lives like that. But honestly, I don't think he's that way just because of HIV. I think that stems from something else as well. I'm sure if you were to ask gay guys out there how many of them have dating issues or nervousness, how many use hook up sites but want more, or keep a job for health benefits even if they are healthy would get an arena full of hands raised. That said, it doesn't make life easier. But with anything whether it's HIV if you let something control you or run you're life, then you are doing it to yourself. Doesn't mean it's easy or that the person should be disregarded. But he needs to realize that. But then again, I'm probably like a fucking ticking time bomb fucking as many guys as I can, taking as many loads as I can up the ass and having lots of sex. They say history repeats itself. During the AIDS period it was more of the guys who were getting gangbanged and having orgies and sex parties. They, from what I understand where the ones who didn't make it to today. It was mostly the ones who skipped on that stuff and did other stuff who are alive today to tell about the friends they lost. But regardless of how long I live I refuse to live a compromised, secluded, or fearful live even if living in fear or caution will pro-long my life. But that's just because I want to truly LIVE and however long that is, is however long that is. But not everyone thinks like that or should to be honest. If all the people on here see is stories about bug chasing and hiv verbal talk, "Yeah poz me daddy." "Fucking take my poz load boy". All they will see is the fantasy side. And they won't read on history or teach themselves about it. But someday, and I'm sure it will happen to everyone the weight of being poz and the effects it has on their lives and others will hit them hard. And it's going to fucking hurt. I can't tell you how crushed I was seeing the fear and hurt in my friend's eyes who I knew when I was younger. That they learned I was poz now and just seeing the way they looked at me. I fucking hated it. And that's something I'm going to have to deal with for life. How people look at me, whether they knew me or don't. But not everyone will have to deal with that initially because many turn a blind eye. That sounds like a nurse's perspective. A lot of nurses and doctors want prep and medications and to help those who are HIV and prevent it from happening. But prevention is near impossible with the number of people who BB. But you are right, if people are honest about having an STD or HIV then they can find out their numbers soon, get treated, and it will probably help society as a whole. At the same time the way people are brought up, the situations they are put in through life, and the people they have or don't have will always make good decision making something very fucking vague. I honestly believe that doctors and nurses should tell people the truth about barebacking and how it feels better then condoms. Teaching the honesty of what barebacking is, why men do it, and what they live with or don't live with if they get an STD or HIV. And then the whole safe sex talk. The whole catholic approach to no sex until you're married has never really worked now has it? Honesty will make this world a much better place, but people who are honest are few and in between. Really if you think of it, honest people are like a small light. But the rest of the bullshit of reality and live easily consumes the light or covers it. But not always completely. I don't really know if I'd be viewed as model poz citizen or not. I don't know if my views or ideals are right or wrong. But I'll stand by them. But I agree with you, I don't have a lot of hope for this current generation, the one I'm included in. I think we're all pretty fucked. But hopefully by being honest and meeting more people, I can do something to help.

I'm sorry I type in riddles almost at times. It's hard to find the point. That's not quite what I'm asking. I think every bottom has the ability to tighten their ass muscles at the end. It's more of like you said. Whether they do or don't. Haha, you phrased it right. I fucking hate it when a bottom's too tight to get into too. But I know that some bottoms do like getting "Ripped open" so to speak. The problem with ripping a bottom open is (maybe it varies) I think for the time duration it takes away from their tightness and their ability to tighten or control their ass muscle. I've had a top maybe 3 times I can count do that to me and because I was forced open I couldn't really tighten or control my ass muscles. But then again I was younger. But some tops like that, they want a loose hole. Part of it I think is the anonymous of it. Think about it? In a bottom's view. You got a sex club or something and have a top fuck you. You just kinda lay there and take it and count in your head which load it is, which cock it is. And you think about the other guys you saw and finding more guys to fuck you. I've been there before, so I know that mentality. And again, some tops do just like to pound a bottom that's still and silent. But I agree. I'm starting to realize too why some top's slap a bottoms ass too. Some do it to try and get the bottom to tighten their hole even for a moment. I know what you mean, I want the guy to tighten up when I'm fucking him, especially when I want to cum. Again, I think it's that most bottoms don't really have the challenge or the motivation to please a top to that degree. I know most guys say they are submissive bottoms. But I think their is a WORLD'S difference between being a submissive and wanting, no needing, to SERVE the top in every way possible. Especially when it comes to bottoming. But I think the reason is most bottoms just don't have that feel or need to. So I guess the challenge for the top is to try and bring that out in them. Build a lust, desire, or need for the top. For every aspect of him. His cock, his mouth, his body, his weight, his presence, and power. Making the bottom need and want to serve every aspect of him. When I met tops like that I do want to serve them in every way possible and give mysef to them 110% percent. Unfortunately, there are very few guys that make me feel like that. But I think getting fucked is such a joy to me that I'll still put the effort in, unless I see nothing in the top but just a fuck. Then I'll just lay and take it You are very fortunate to have had a Master that took the effort and time to train you. I used to use a butt plug when I was trained by my original Master. But he taught me proper breathing techniques, how to relax, and take toys. But there is also a lot he didn't teach me like douching. But that's because he just half trained me. My former partner trained me more how to tighten my ass muscles during sex and really give him pleasure. Especially with that PA. I can see why they do. I might look more into how to work my ass muscles even better. I want to be the best top/bottom I can be if possible. Sounds, like we're partially cut from the same cloth. I've started topping recently too. One bottom I fucked last week. Great ass but after he was loose and I bred him a few times there was no tighteness. I tried gripping his ass, I didn't really slap his ass since he's not into too much roughness. Plus, first meeting. But i know he's also been in a sexless relationship for a number of years and his partner doesn't use him. I completely agree with that statement. It's funny but when I was 19 in a book store I had a really beefy bearish guy serve me and suck my cock. Looking down at him and his eyes filled with the desire to serve. It partially made me wonder if someday I'll have a guy like that or if I'll want that. And I was a complete bottom at the time. Someone at a bath house did the same thing at one point and he was one of the first guys I ever fucked bareback. He was so subservient, beautiful, and his aim was to please me. It feels sort of like a deja vu. I'm appreciating what bottoms that serve do, exactly what I like to do or aim to do. It's humorous that i used to go to clubs and just lay down and take it up the ass and count load after load but didn't really work for it. Just took it. But fuck, I was working the hell out my ass last night because I had some damn good tops fucking me. I just wish the bottoms I had did that for me too. Maybe I'll find a bottom or two and train them as well. That's a great idea. Or hell, just find a bunch of bottoms and educate them and give them a challenge and something to work for. Then have a bunch of skilled bottoms out there pleasing tops

Pozzie? That's a new one. Never heard that one before. Wow, what a great thread. @musclmtl I completely agree with what you did. I haven't really been to bath houses or sex clubs much and haven't had to deal with letting people know or not know as much. But the dude was fucking high. When people are on drugs or drunk they do things they normally wouldn't do. He asked if you were "clean" and that is so fucking vague. I love how guys ask that it's kind of cute actually. "Yeah I took a shower before I came here." Ask what you really want to ask "Are you negative?" not something vague. Not everyone will agree with what you did but the dude got himself fucked up and probably took other loads up the ass. He's in an anonymous place anyways. Even though I don't know if I'd do what you did I support it. @hungry_hole You're absolutely right. Sex clubs and bath houses are where most leave their morality at the door and pig out and whore out. Or guys who are new experiment. It would be really hard for a bottom to go to court and say, "He pozzed me, I had loads up my ass, I was high, drunk, and had my ass in the air. But he..he tried to kill me by infecting me". If a case like that ever happened in court and the guy who took a poz load won. I don't even... But what you are also referring to is a vague area which hasn't been explored. Also understand as far as homophobia goes I'm sure pozophobia (inventing words is fun) is much stronger. Biased, unfair, and lies I'm sure have been used against poz guys before. @wood: It's true guys have gone to jail for just spitting or even if a poz guy fucked a guy or woman with a condom I think there has been a case or two where he was found guilty. I get the point, it sucks to be poz. And you are correct. I don't think the majority of guys really want to become poz. This is more of a fantasy site if you will, but there are some parts that are very realistic. I don't think this site is an influence to do things like stealth or breed guys either. That being said, I do kinda like poz talk now when fucking or getting fucked. And that's thanks to all the lovely stories on here. But that's also part of acceptance as well. I'm not afraid to admit I'm poz. But at the same time, it's not something I would have liked happen to me. Overall bareback sex is a risk. Everyone knows that. Fucking someone in a bath house or sex club bare and being poz is an even bigger risk. Despite how fucked the guy is or how many guys have fucked him if he knows your poz and tells you can be fucked. Doesn't matter about the loop holes, or the unexplored area. It will be explored if it's taken that far. But I do believe bath houses should be safe ground. If someone asks, and I mean asks. Not says "Oh are you clean?". Asks, "Are you negative or positive." I believe if someone is poz they should be honest. But to a certain extent if they just take all loads or get fucked up and ask vague questions. This isn't going to be a popular answer but they kind of fucking deserve it. STD's or getting poz. If they are really going to take loads up their ass and just go by guys saying they are neg or not asking they deserve what they get. Everyone takes a risk when they bareback. I went to a book store a few weeks ago and as soon as a guy touched my dick and was turned on I said, "I'm poz. Is that a problem." He told me it wasn't. He was poz too. He told me he gets rejected a lot. And cumunion. Fuck cumunion was beautiful. No mention of status or asking was ever mentioned. A few of the guys I played with though, we chatted a little and they told me they were poz I told them I was too. But I doubt anyone at cumunion ever worries or asks about status. Because that's what that event is supposed to be about. That being said, doesn't mean some neg guy or safer (still inventing words) couldn't come in and take a raw load and not know about the poz guys or it being bareback night. I actually did see a condom too on a table that was used. Someone used a condom at cumunion. I'll be damned. I had a straight type construction worker hit on me after last night. I told him I was poz. He was disguisted saying that he thinks I should go away. But asked if I had any friends who weren't poz to send his way. I told him, "All my friends are poz." He said that this is a fucked up world. Yet, I saw him bent over taking a guy who I knew was poz's load up his ass. And a few other guys were fucking him too. He ended up fucking me anyways raw. He wanted me to fuck him and I reminded him I was poz. He said, "Oh shit. I thought you were kidding." Who the fuck would kid about something like that. I tried to fuck him with a condom but it didn't really work so we gave up. But I loved how he was worried about the fact that he fucked me bare, but wasn't even considering all the guys that fucked him raw. I don't think he knows they were poz though. Of course not, a guy like him wouldn't even ask. Technically if he wanted to I'm sure he could take me to court. "Oh, he said he was poz in a joking manner so I fucked him raw. But then he was actually being honest telling me he really was poz and he fucked me with a condom. But I was really fucking drunk and I let other guys fuck me raw but he was poz." If he really wanted to he could say something like that. I'm starting to think the true reality of being poz is you're just fucked. People can try all the shit they want whether you're honest or lie. But there will be people out there against you and afraid of you. And if they feel like it they can try to get you in trouble legally or other ways. And that's just something you have to deal with. But seriously more poz nights or bareback nights so not having to worry as much about the legalities and moralities please.

I hope that's the right terminology for this. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. When I was younger I played with a couple and we had a great time. Although, I was really tight back in that day and didn't know how to relax properly. Was still learning. Afterwards I told the top daddy that I want to learn to be a really good bottom. He told me that at night before I go to bed to tighten my ass muscles. To just tighten them and relax. Back and forth a few times. I asked him why, and he told me tops love it when a bottom tightens their ass muscles during sex. When I was with my ex, he would always fuck me nearly dry or with just spit using his PA. I'd relax and take him and always loved it. But he pre-cam a lot too so my hole would get sloppy and wet in no time. He started to teach me and tell me to "tighten" up on him while he was fucking me. Sometimes he'd have me shoot my load and continue fucking me while my ass muscles tightened up a little. But then he started teaching me to tighten my ass around his cock between each thrust while fucking me. I started to get good at it and I could tell when it was working because I saw the look on his face, and felt the change in his speed while he was fucking me. A bit, harder to do with someone who has a PA but I loved him inside me and wanted to. A few nights ago I got together with a top with a load already in my ass. After he fucked and bred me I didn't want him to pull out. So I tightened my ass muscles and rocked my ass back and forth onto his cock. I'm sure I was doing something else I'm not quite aware of too. This resulted in him breeding me consecutively several times. And a leather top I've been seeing I got with him after. After he bred me I didn't want him to pull out either so I did the same thing. And he ended up fucking me again and breeding me which he normally doesn't do. Actually an old fuck buddy I used to have. First time he fucked me I think I did the same thing and he bred me and fucked me twice. Every other time I just stayed still and took it, that's how he liked it. But last night I did the same thing with a leather top and he told me, "Fuck boy, you're ass is still making my dick hard. I'm going to fuck you again." I mostly get together with older guys so I know that not all guys can cum more than once, and I'm okay with that. That's why it's surprised me lately doing this. But now, I'm wondering how many guys on here know how to use their ass muscles and really milk a cock after they've been bred. Or not just backing up and matching the top's thrusts but tightening their hole and opening it in a pattern while the top fucks them. Feels incredible for both. The bottoms I've fucked lately, well most of them have just layed there for the most part and take it. It would be nice to find a guy who works his ass on my cock, really works. So my question is how many bottoms out there can do this? I know some guys on here just lay down or throw their legs in the air and take the fuck. I've had some tops in the past who wanted me to do that. If I tried to move they'd slap my ass and tell me to stay still. Every guy is different. Here's a little poll (with a long fucking explanation and back story, the usual) asking the bottoms on here if they just take a dick and take the fuck, or if some of them really work their ass on the guys cock when they get fucked. Or if some prefer to just take it. Same goes for the tops. Do the tops here prefer a bottom that lays still so they can drill the hole, or do they prefer the bottom to really work their cock while they are fucking the guy.