bbm4matl

SALOPE My journey to protecting my sexual partners’ health and my own health by finally starting meds after so many years of delay was complicated. The first couple of drugs I was prescribed gave me side effects. One of them caused me to have night terrors as soon as I drifted off to sleep. Another medication caused me to occasionally hallucinate so bizarrely that I knew the visions and sounds weren’t real. One such time, I was in a hotel lobby in Mexico City and heard a huge explosion. There was not any smoke, broken glass, screaming people – and I knew it was just the meds. As a result, my adherence was “spotty” at best. My doctor told me that I’d be better off not taking them at all rather than taking them only some of the time. It had something to do with causing viral resistance. Around the same time, I started a new job which required me to travel overseas quite a bit. It wasn’t unusual for me to go away for several weeks at a time. As a result, my trysts with Mike became much less frequent. But when we did meet, Mike completely stopped using condoms when he fucked me. He said he couldn’t go back to being inside of me with a layer of plastic in between. He also liked to “knock me up”. (I think that phrase took on its current meaning a while after our time together.) To my knowledge, Mike didn’t get the bug. I started trying to meet other guys and I started having sex with many of them. Also, Mike must have had second thoughts about his domestic situation and having a gay fuck toy on the side. We still traded a few emails, but even those started to become less frequent. I don’t know if he continued to play with other guys after we moved on from each other. I became much sluttier and kinkier than I had ever been in my life, although I always enjoyed leather and the bondage/roleplay scene. Earlier in my life, I was known to have casual sex with strangers in the past, but for most of my life, I’d been more relationship oriented. Perhaps it was the chance to have so many exotic men in Europe and Latin America. I wanted to taste all of it! For whatever the cause, I became less focused on having a boyfriend or exclusive sex partner. One evening after a long day, I was sipping a beer at the bar of a gay establishment and a much younger cute guy asked if the seat next to me was taken. “Be my guest,” I told him. We started talking and flirting. He asked me if I visited this bar often, and I told him I was visiting the city for the first time on business. “Have you been to the basement rooms yet? Those can be a lot of fun,” he said. I told him I didn’t know there was another part to the bar, and he offered to show me around. We both finished our drinks and he led the way. I followed him toward the back of the bar and through a curtain, then down some wooden steps. The air was a bit cool and damp as we descended, but I could smell the unmistakable scent of man-sex hanging in the air. The lighting was very dim, but my eyes adjusted. It looked like there were gloryhole booths lining a hallway as we continued. Finally, we reached a pitch-black dark room where I could hear guys having sex. The young guy stopped and turned around and we started kissing. I reached around and cupped his bubble ass cheeks in my hands and groped him. After a few minutes, he turned around and grinded his ass against the raging hard-on beneath the zipper of my jeans. I unzipped his jeans and he dropped them and rubbed his bare ass against me. I hiked my jeans down a bit and my cock sprang free. I rubbed my cock into his smooth ass crack, rubbing up and down and occasionally rubbing my cock head all along his crack. I poked my cock between his legs and along his taint and he reached back and pointed my bare cock to his hole and pushed back against me. My cock easily slid into his hole. He was either slick with lube or he was already carrying a load or two. I held his hips as I slowly fucked him deep and then pulled back almost to the point of my head slipping out of him, then repeated. I was really enjoying his ass and I started to sweat, contributing my scent to the sex already lingering in the room. We must have been making some noise because as I was plowing the guy’s pussy, I felt a hard body against my back and the guy started grabbing my pecs and lightly pinching my nipples. This sent me over the edge and I grunted as I emptied my nuts into the guy in front of me. He pulled himself off my cock and turned around and sucked my dick clean. Then, he was gone. The guy who was behind me pushed my jeans down over my ass. The next thing I knew, his face was between my cheeks and rimming me out. Whomever he was, he had a beard and it felt good as his tongue tried to worm its way into my innards. I pushed back, and after several minutes of lapping my hairy hole, he stood up and I reached back to show him the way inside. His large, hooded cock was slick with precum and I felt very tight as he pushed it home. I wasn’t lubed except for his precum, but soon, the oozing of it inside of me made me start to enjoy it. After a few minutes I heard him grunt and felt his warm cum flush into me. I spent the rest of the evening using and being used by other men. I left the bar stinking of cum. I went back the following evening.

Stay tuned.

DON'T EVER LET YOURSELF FALL FOR A MARRIED MAN Married Mike and I carried on playing for a few months and stayed in touch for years. He was a very sexy guy, and I think we developed a bit of an unhealthy attraction for each other, considering his domestic situation. I know this was true for me. He talked once about meeting up on a Saturday afternoon just to go to a movie together – in essence, a date -- but it never happened. I think Mike was fantasizing about a life different than the straight path he had taken. Even though I knew that my fuck-buddy was only a fuck-buddy and would never be more, I couldn’t deny that I had an emotional and sexual attachment to him. Plus, his sexual appetite aligned with mine and his abilities were to die for. We had a standing Friday lunch time fuck-date for a while, and it was my turn to rent the room. I never let him know about my status and he never asked, and we always fucked with a condom. Over the course of a few months, I fucked him a couple of times and we flipped a few times. But as time went on, he topped me most of the time, and I was happy to be the bottom in our trysts. I think that once he experienced getting fucked a few times, he was more comfortable doing the fucking, just like at home. His itch for getting fucked had been scratched. By nature, I was always verbal during sex and made a lot of noise and often talked filthy without even being aware of it. Mike also seemed to grunt and groan a lot but was usually not verbal until after he shot his load. We both sweat like pigs when we fucked. I still do. It was a beautiful October day, with a brilliant blue sky as I exited the expressway to the suburb where our meeting place was and I rented a room. As I anticipated our get-together, my cock got hard, and I felt my pits sweating. My mouth went dry, and I needed a gulp of water. I was hungry for Mike. I had it bad and I knew it. Mike was especially horny and aggressive that day. He was taller, heavier and more muscular than me and he could easily overpower me if he wanted. He pinned me on my back and laid on top of my kissing me, licking me all over, my nips and my pits. My legs were wrapped around his muscular core, and my ankles crossed over his ass. Both our cocks were leaking precum. He reached over to his bag and grabbed a condom and some lube and then he pushed my legs back to my chest. He licked the precum off my cock and continued down to my ass. His tongue darted around my rosebud and licked around the rim as I pulled my knees to my chest and opened my cheeks to him. He pushed his tongue inside me, and I responded by trying to open my hole up even more to him. “Fuck yeah, eat that pussy,” I encouraged him, “I couldn’t get you out of my mind all week.” “I couldn’t wait to have you in my arms and to kiss you,” Mike replied. “I’ve been dreaming of what we're going to do.” Mike pushed and stretched my legs out straight upward. My thick runners’ legs were against his hairy chest, and I felt his big knob of a cock head covered with his precum seeking out its target. My hole was slippery and spit-covered hole as he pushed into me, filling me. My ass felt so sensitive to the feeling of his cock entering my hole. It must have been the rough rimming he’d given me. Mike’s cock was in me all the way and we were kissing roughly, like two animals trying to consume each other. His cock was so thick that even now, it took me a few minutes to loosen up before he could start pounding away at me. Mike maneuvered me from being on my back to lying face down without withdrawing his large cock from me. As he fucked me, I felt his sweat dripping on my back. Finally, he laid down on top of me with his full weight and bear hugged me, then flipped us both so he was on his back, and I was laying on top of him. I grinded my hips as I felt his rod reacting inside my hole. His hairy torso was pasted against my back with sweat. He reached around with his left hand to my nipple, and with his right hand, he started jacking my stiff cock as I squirmed with his cock still planted deeply, fucking myself on him. I reached down and behind to his ass cheeks to try to pull him in deeper, but he was buried all the way in me. With the combination of all of this, he hugged me so tightly I thought he was going to crush me as I felt his cock spasming inside me. I thought I was imagining the feeling of a hot shot splashing inside me. Mike stayed hard as usual after he came. He kept me on my back flat on top of his chest as he jacked my cock in his big fist and I came with such force that I painted my face and chest with my load, and I involuntarily pushed out his hard cock. It slapped against his abs with the remnants of his load drooling from his urethra onto his hairy abs. Cum was dripping my ass and mixing with the sweat and cum already on him. Mike and I were both drenched in sweat and cum. I felt his load oozing out of my hole. Mike had decided to forego the condom and for the first time had cum inside of me raw. I stuck a finger in my hole and knew for certain that he creampied me as I withdrew my finger and licked it. “I bred your ass, Dave. I hope you aren’t mad at me,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. "You drenched me. You're going to have to pay for an abortion," I said and then I kissed him. That door was wide open now and I was conflicted about it. Once again, the hotel room stank of sweat and cum. We wanted to spend the afternoon fucking but we both had to get back to our work places. I got up and extended my hand to pull him up. We went to the bathroom and both got in the shower. We washed each other and kissed as we did so. Mike turned me around so I was facing away from him as he hugged me and kissed the back of my neck. Then I felt his hard cock once again against my ass. I guided his unwrapped dick to my hole, and he entered me raw for the second time. I didn’t know if I was putting him at risk or not. After slowly fucking me against the shower wall, he once again groaned as he pulled me tight and released another large load inside of me. On the drive back to the office, I called my doctor’s office and made an appointment to discuss starting meds.

Author’s note: No names have been altered. This story includes condom usage and does not include pozzing, in order to stay accurate. MARRIED MIKE I met a guy on one of the apps who called himself Mike. As we started to chat a bit, It turned out he had a wife and three sons in the suburbs, and he was an engineer. None of this was appealing to me, but I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, and I was curious about how fucking a family man might play out. Plus, there was no chance that this would become anything more than a no-strings fuck. Mike claimed to be “straight” (I didn’t comment). His availability was limited due to his family situation, his job, and his logistical considerations. He suggested that we meet at a Red Roof Inn motel in the suburbs at lunchtime. I’ve always loved sleazy hotel hookups with some sense of betrayal mixed in (joke). I was still unmedicated and healthy, although my doctor remarked that my viral load was high but stable. He wondered out loud if I might have the gene that permits someone to have HIV but to not progress onto AIDS (I didn’t). That would be another blood test. I had not been sick with anything other than hay fever allergies and an occasional head cold. Finally, the day arrived for me to meet Mike at the motel. This took place before iPhones or Android devices were available and he didn’t want to give me his phone number. We communicated through a pc app called Yahoo Messenger. He told me he drove an old Mercedes that he planned on restoring one day. He would rent the room and then meet me near his car. I drove into the parking lot and saw a classic car with a big, ripped, bearded guy wearing a baseball cap standing next to it. This guy was built, and he had big guns for arms. I pulled next to him and smiled as we shook hands. “Damn Mike, you’re built like a brick shithouse. You must lift a lot,” I commented. “Yeah, I’ve been lifting since high school football. I was a tall skinny kid before I started. You look like you have a good bit of muscle too,” he replied. I told him I was a lifelong runner and swimmer, but I started lifting in the last six months. We chatted as we walked to the room and before the door slammed behind me, Mike’s tongue was down my throat, and I was enveloped in a big snug bear hug. I pushed off his baseball cap off revealing a sexy shaved head. I really loved his natural smell and couldn’t get enough of it. We undressed each other, and he had a hairy chest and abs, an untrimmed nut sack, and a very thick seven-inch cock as hard as steel. I pushed him back onto the bed and we made out for quite a while. I huffed in his man-smell, and I worshipped his hairy pits. Then I sucked in his big knob and worked it into my mouth and down my throat. I had a hard time taking the knob into my throat and he tried to force it down, making me gag. The room was completely quiet except for Mike’s heavy breathing and my slurping on him. Finally, he said, “I want you to fuck me. This is my first time so be gentle,” with a smile. I reached into the pockets of my pants and retrieved a condom and a small bottle of lube. I tossed the condom to him, and then I pushed his tree-trunk legs back exposed his tight straight ass. I dove in and ate him like a starving man, and he moaned like a bitch in heat. After about five minutes, he demanded, “I want your cock inside.” I smeared a lot of lube on his hole and worked it in with my finger. He rolled the condom on my dick, and I slowly popped his anal cherry. With great care, I slowly pushed my way into him. He winced and I told him to keep breathing. Finally, I bottomed out inside him. His as was virgin tight. “You OK?” I asked? “Yeah,” he said, “just fuck me.” At first, I went easy on him, but then I picked up my pace and started fucking him like a man ought to be fucked. We were both grunting like animals and made quite a racket. He said, “I finally get why guys like to be fucked.” I was sweating from the railing I was giving him; the drops were hitting his face. I kissed him as I groaned and pounded my deadly load into the condom that was protecting him. I pulled my cock out of him and immediately started sucking his cock again. I had a grip on his hairy nuts so I could feel when he was about to shoot his load. I felt his balls contract as his cock shot ropes of cum into my mouth which was wrapped around his dick. As I swallowed his babies, I pulled off and a cum string still connected my lips to his cock head. I kissed him so he could taste himself on me. The room reeked of man-smells, sweat, and cum. I remarked that when the maid came to clean the room, she would start ovulating. After a final kiss. I broke off and said, “Next time, I want to you to fuck me.”

Author’s note: The characters in this story have had their names changed and some of the details altered, for reasons of privacy. It is indeed a small gay world. IT’S A SMALL, SMALL (GAY) WORLD A couple of years after moving to LA, a job opportunity brought me back to another large east coast city, completely unattached. I was still healthy with a normal T-cell count, but my doctor in LA said my viral load was quite high. He didn’t recommend starting meds yet, which were just beginning to be more tolerable and much less toxic. Before the iPhone and all the hookup apps, there were hookup websites that sprung up in the early days of the internet, just before the sun set on gay bars as we knew them. Eugene and I met on one of these early gay websites. He lived in the suburbs, but he worked near where I lived. He told me he was recently divorced from a woman, but he’d been having sex with men since college. I told him I was looking for uncomplicated sex and probably not looking for a relationship. We decided to hook up because Eugene was sexy, said he liked morning sex, and he could swing by my place before work. On the appointed morning, I remembered that I needed to tell Eugene I was positive with a high viral load and that we would use condoms. He rang my apartment, and I buzzed him in. Eugene was very well hung, probably 8 inches cut. We kissed and had good chemistry in person, so we took it to the bedroom. We quickly stripped and I started sucking his big cock. He made me gag which was impressive, because I had very little reflex left. I pushed him down on the bed and shoved his legs back and started eating his smooth ass. He had the most delicious ass, and I lost myself while rimming him. My tongue encircled his pussy lips, and he opened right up to let me explore his insides. Eugene was moaning and finally, he pulled me up on top of him and wrapped his legs around my waist as we kissed. My cock was bumping up around his crack trying to find its target. Eugene was still moaning as my cock brushed past his hole without entering. Finally, he could take no more teasing and reached down and pointed my cockhead to his hole. I slid in him with ease and was balls deep. His pussy was well-worn, in a good way. I started pumping him, making sure that my cock head was stimulating his prostate and his cock responded by leaking precum until it was a small pool on his abs. Finally, he groaned and shot his load. I panicked because things got carried away and I hadn’t worn a condom. So, I pulled-out of him and he looked disappointed. “Suck me off,” I ordered him urgently. He swallowed my cock, and I shot my load down his throat. “Why didn’t you cum in me?” he asked. “Because” I explained, “I’m positive. But I’m a big pre-cummer so you may need to get tested.” “Oh, I’m poz too. In fact, I have AIDS,” he replied. I told him he looked completely fit and healthy. He explained to me that he had not even known he was positive but became very sick about two years before and it turned out to be an opportunistic infection. He had less than 100 T-cells left when his doctor put him on some medications that were very new, and they saved his life. But because he crossed some medical threshold, he was still considered to have AIDS. He said that he was dating a guy at the time he was diagnosed. He thought they were exclusive with each other, but apparently, they weren’t. They parted in an unfriendly way. So, we continued having casual sex over the next few months. Eugene was a versatile bottom, and he fucked me very well. After that first time, we didn’t hesitate to cum in each other. Eugene was the first guy who asked me to “breed” him using that term, which made me laugh. We fucked other guys too and occasionally caught other STDs, but we always told each other. Friends with benefits, indeed. I met another guy on my internet hunts called Steven. Steven was a cute Italian American guy about my size with dark brown hair and blue eyes. We met up at a café one afternoon and decided to follow up with a fuck date. I met him at his apartment. He had a very thick cock that curved upward. When I saw that, I told him I wanted to feel it inside me. He looked at me with lust and we went to his bedroom. We undressed each other while making out. Our cocks were both hard as hell. Then I told him I was positive. He pushed me on my back and kissed me. Then, he moved down to my chest and licked and nibbled my nipples. Eventually, he went lower but skipped my cock and went straight to my ass with his tongue. There was a bottle of poppers on the bed, and I huffed a bit. Steven took that opportunity to spit on his cock and put that big mushroom head up to my hole. I took another hit, and he pushed into me. I saw stars as his big cock filled my hole and his cockhead brushed past my prostate. About five minutes later, I came without touching my cock. Steven was still piston-fucking me and several minutes after that, he grunted and painted my insides with his babies. He too became a friend with benefits. Eugene had a more outgoing personality than Steven, and he liked to talk a lot. Steven was not very talkative and was just in it to get off, which was cool with me. I only topped Steven a few times and he also urged me to “breed” him when I shot a load. Steven was 90% top, and I really enjoyed it when we met for a quicky. I would suck him while he ate my ass, and then he would fuck me and cum and then leave. Sometimes it’s better to keep sex casual. Steven went to an infectious disease doctor because he was healthy but still considered to have AIDS. One day, he had to cancel one of our meetings because he said one of his kids had gotten into a fender-bender. She was OK but shaken. I told him I understood. It was the first thing I knew about Steven as a person rather than just a fuck buddy. Next time when I visited him for cock, he mentioned that he’d been divorced a few years and had discovered that he was positive after a former boyfriend came down with an AIDS-related infection. They’d had a bitter breakup because the boyfriend thought they were an exclusive couple. Steven wanted the boyfriend to be exclusively his, but Steven was having sex whenever possible with whomever showed him their ass. It was clear to me they either communicated badly or were dishonest or a little of both. Hooking up with exes at the same time was a potential recipe for drama. It was also clear to me that their dispute with each other was not my business or my problem. As long as I was single and clear about my intentions, I enjoyed having both their bodies to play with. I lost touch with Steven, and I don't know what became of him. Eugene eventually partnered up with another guy and he seemed happy to me. We played a few times after he settled down but eventually, he and his partner moved away. Eugene and I occasionally exchange emails.

The guy I think about when I wrote about Brian - no, never.

Author’s note: This chapter is a departure from the others because the character “Brian” is a mixture of guys I ran into during my time in Southern California who had similar qualities and behaviors. This chapter was difficult to write and for better or worse, I decided to take this road. LaLa Land Los Angeles in the late 1980s was never a place I imagined myself living in, but here I was. It was not so much an escape from the East Coast as it was a change of scenery, perhaps the turning of the page to a new chapter. Emotionally, I felt bruised and bloodied, but not defeated. I was born stubborn. But at that time, I thought new people, new job, new scene, agreeable weather, with an occasional shake to keep things interesting. You know, "shaken, not stirred." Dan’s death was the final impetus for that change I’d been contemplating. When he told me he was ill, he never spelled it out, nor did he need to. His partner Kieran followed him with “cancer” shortly before his 30th birthday. About a year prior, my doctor insisted that I finally submit to an HIV test. He began to require that all his gay patients be tested. He was tired of seeing his patients dropping like flies, and he wanted to see the day that this was no longer the case. He treated all the STDs I regularly picked up through random sex, so it was a surprise to no-one when the test showed that I was indeed positive. He remarked that my vital signs continued to be extremely strong, and I commented that I felt normal and healthy, and I hadn’t ever been truly sick. He told me that there were some promising medications to treat HIV/AIDS that were hopefully coming in the very near future. He counseled me that the experimental drugs current being tested on people were toxic to many (all) patients. Like all other gay city guys, I knew men who tried to choke down handfuls of pills to buy another day of life. My doctor recommended that I delay starting any meds and that my vitals continue to be monitored. He urged that I use condoms with each and every sexual encounter, blah, blah, blah. In my short life as a gay man, I’d dated some guys exclusively, others casually, and I’d had both anonymous sex with strangers as well as with friends and guys I knew quite well. I started to look at sex as “living for the moment” with good reason. But I intended to be responsible and do my part to avoid spreading further disease. I had no idea how long I had been HIV positive, who I contracted it from, whom I had given it to. Fast forward about a year and I was still the picture of health as I started a new chapter in LA. There are so many exceptionally beautiful people in LA trying to get into “the industry” as Angelenos call it. Of course, LA throughout its history has always been crawling with gays. Where I lived at the time, the Mid-Wilshire district was no exception. One morning I was running late for a meeting, and I drove into the garage of the office building. As I walked to the elevator lobby, a very handsome guy my age held the door open for me. Our eyes locked as I said thanks. He was about 6 feet tall to my 5 feet 10 inches, he had brown puppy-dog eyes and somewhat long brown hair to my blue eyes and short dirty blond hair. Of course he was as fit as fuck. The next day at lunch time, I went to one of the sandwich shops in the lobby of the building and I saw him again. As he walked toward the outdoor patio to have his lunch, he looked up and I smiled at him. “May I join you?” I asked. His name was Brian, and he worked a few floors away from me for a talent agency. He lived in West Hollywood (WeHo), but his father was in the military and so he’d grown-up all over. We exchanged numbers and I asked him out for a drink that Saturday night. We met at a WeHo bar and chatted about our experiences since moving to LA, our jobs, and of course sex. Later on, we walked on to another bar for a change of scenery. Brian held the door for me, and we walked into one of the seedier gay bars I could remember. I don't remember the name of the place, which probably closed long ago and has since been gentrified. Brian led me to the back room of the bar which was especially dark because my eyes hadn’t adjusted. We entered a kind of privacy stall with a door, and he started kissing me passionately. He unzipped my jeans and pulled out my rock-hard cock and started sucking me. I hadn’t realized that this was going to be that kind of date, but my cock and Brian’s mouth were in control now. I’d just shaved my ball-sack and manscaped before our date. Brian was able to take both my large hairless nuts into his mouth simultaneously and he looked up at me with those puppy-dog eyes. I pulled my sack from his mouth and pointed my cock to his lips, and he parted them and took my cockhead all the way to the very back of his throat. After a time, I groaned, “Brian, you’re getting me very close.” He started mouth-fucking my cock fast and furiously. I felt my nuts contract as I started feeding my load to him. He swallowed, licked his lips and smiled at me. He stood up and we kissed for quite a long time: two queer men alone together in the middle of a crowded gay bar dark room. Finally, I turned Brian around so his back was against my chest. I pushed up his shirt and licked from his neck down his bare skin along his spine which made him shudder. I savored the saltiness of the slight sweatiness of his spine. I got down to the waist of his jeans, but before I could do anything, he dropped his jeans from his muscular ass and down to his knees. He was wearing a jockstrap, the slut! I buried my face between his lightly hairy ass cheeks. I breathed in his essence as my tongue began to explore his tight pucker. As I pushed my tongue up into him, I heard Brian huffing a brown bottle he must have grabbed from his jeans before he dropped them. His hole relaxed and opened up for me like an Easter flower. He reached back and pulled my face deeper between his glorious ass cheeks and at that moment, I never wanted to be anywhere else. He was moaning as I rimmed him and he finally gasped, “I want you inside, Dave.” I stood up and rubbed my cock so it was lodged lengthwise along his hairy crack. He bent over to give me easy access, and I teased his hole. I reached down to my jeans pocket and grabbed a condom and a little packet of lube. “Put it on me,” I instructed Brian as I handed it to him. He tossed the rubber on the floor as he opened the lube packet with his teeth and then spread some on his hole and fingered some inside. Then he reached back and placed my cock head at his pucker and he pushed back. My cock slid into him, and I eventually bottomed out in him with my balls against his taint. A choice had been made. I fucked him hard, and our sex noises blended with those of all the other guys who were fucking in similar cubicles or just out in the open in the darkroom. Finally, I came in him and I rested my body on top of his. Eventually, my softening cock plopped out of his hole along with some of my babies that dripped onto the floor. We went back to my place and jumped into bed. Brian road my cock cowboy style as I reached around and pinched his nipples and then let another load loose in him as he shot all over his abs. The next morning with the sun coming over the horizon, I looked down into his eyes as he looked up at me with his ankles on my shoulders. I really came to love Brian and we tried to have a real relationship, but it just didn’t seem to work for us. We were better off as fuck friends than boyfriends. That was a dynamic that followed me with all the guys I met in LA. Was it them or was it me?

HITCHED Within three years, I finished my master’s degree and was a couple of years into moving up the ladder with a firm in a large east coast city. Bob started a very successful business, also in a northeastern city. Bob and I visited each other a few times a year because we were an hour train ride away. He brought a different girlfriend with him each time we visited, but he finally found a nice Italian girl from Brooklyn, and they seemed to be well-suited. I didn’t know if he still had sex with guys on the side, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Dan continued to be a globe-trotter at the agency and was starting to learn the management side of the business. Due to his schedule, I didn’t see Dan as often as I saw Bob. I started seeing a therapist to deal with the trauma of seeing so many friends and guys I knew die young. Like all my contemporaries, I never grew accustomed to young death. And like some of them, I didn’t know if I was a ticking time. Looking back, I think I just assumed I was. I also discussed this with a couple of my closest friends, but never with my old college roommates. So far, I was the vision of a healthy young gay man, as were they. But I started to use condoms, most of the time. I wasn't ready to face taking a test and waiting weeks for the results. Much to his father’s chagrin, Dan’s career prevented him from ever finishing his undergraduate degree and continuing onto law school. But Dan was by far the smartest of my friends and he invested his considerable income in real estate in Manhattan, Harlem and Brooklyn long before prices skyrocketed. Dan was never into the drug scene in college, and he stayed out of the drug culture that pervaded the fashion industry. At 28, he was even wealthier than his old man, who was the managing partner of his Wall Street law firm. Dan invited Bob and me to the civil ceremony between him and his boyfriend, Kieran, who owned the construction company that did all the renovations to Dan’s investments. Dan was always muscular and lean, but I noticed he was particularly lean at the wedding and he’d been training for a marathon.. He was always the peacock among my friends. Dan’s twin sister, Liz, attended, but Dan’s parents did not. They were devout Irish-Catholics, but Dan was their only son, after all. I loved Liz and we got along like a riot. She was smart like Dan, but funny, out-going and razor-tongued compared to Dan’s relative introversion. In fact, Liz knew I was gay before I did. She outed me to myself when she visited Dan when we were still in college. She was surprised I was deceiving myself and told me I needed to get over that fast. Dan and Kieran had a party at a ballroom in the midtown hotel after the civil ceremony. The out-of-town guests seemed to all be staying at the hotel. But Bob and his girlfriend were staying with her parents in Brooklyn, far away from temptation. I had a couple of drinks and started talking to one of Dan’s friends from the industry. His name was Axel, and he was blond, blue-eyed and more muscular than the typical male fashion model. He was from Hamburg but had a small flat in Paris when he wasn’t working a runway or a fashion shoot. He was incredibly out of my league and I didn't know why he was even talking to me. While we chatted, I reached behind him and grabbed one of his muscular buttocks. He asked me if I wanted to join him for a drink in his room and we left the reception. In his room, we continued to kiss, as we tore each other’s clothes off. I pushed him back on his bed and got on top of him as we continued to kiss. Axel had a great veiny uncut cock, and I eventually licked my way down to it and pulled the hood back as I went down on him. He pulled me up to him and took his hooded cock and docked with my circumcised dick, our precum mixing under his hood. I pushed his legs back and he pulled them to his chest as I licked his beautiful hairy crack and hole. He made it wink at me, and I said, “I’ve got to get inside you right now.” He had some condoms, lube and a little brown bottle on the nightstand and I reached for them. I handed him the poppers then I ripped open the condom and squirted some lube on my cock. Axel huffed the poppers as I pushed my sheathed head into his hole and slowly slid all the way into him. I was a couple of strokes in and Axel pushed me out of his ass and said, “David, I want to feel you inside of me. I hate condoms,” as he pulled the condom off my cock. I didn’t waste a second before entering him naturally, although I knew better. I started fucking Axel hard and his hooded cock was leaking precum profusely. “I’ll pull out before I cum,” I said to him. He shook his “no” and held up the bottle to my nose as I huffed. With my head swimming I started to rail Axel’s beautiful pussy as then I came hard inside of him. We fucked each other much of the night when one of us would wake up horny. The next morning I woke up with Axel sliding his cock balls-deep, "Time to get up David." I returned home the later that day and the day after that, I felt that “pissing razorblades” feeling of gonorrhea.

Autumn in Milan Bob and I arrived back at the apartment on the same weekend after our summer internships ended. I joked with Bob and asked him how much drama he created during his summer. “Bro, you have no idea. I’m glad I could leave it all behind,” and he pulled me in for a deep kiss as he groped my ass. “I missed you, smart ass.” We ended up in bed and after he fucked my brains out, and then we relaxed there for a while, just catching up on each others exploits over the summer. “When is Dan getting back?” Bob asked. “I talked with him on Wednesday while he was at Laguardia. He said he’d be back in the apartment on Monday. He said he’d just landed and that he had big news, but he was being mysterious and wouldn’t spill any details. So, we’ll find out then,” I replied. Class didn’t start for a week, and I was determined to get back into my routine. On Monday afternoon, I just returned from the gym and opened the door, and Dan was in the kitchen and Bob was taking a shower. “Hey man, how was your summer?” I asked Dan as I leaned in and we shared a big kiss. Dan replied, “It was incredible. I can’t wait to tell you guys.” Just then Bob opened the bathroom door and walked out in all his otter glory in just his white briefs. “Tell us what?” “Ah, just in time,” Dan said. “You know I told you I had some interviews in Manhattan with a couple of modeling agencies? Well, I blew off my internship because three of them wanted to put me under contract. I had my dad look at the contracts and I signed with one of the agencies. I spent the summer working in Milan, Paris and Munich.” Bob and I sat in stunned silence. Then, he and I both hooted and hollered and I got three beers out of the fridge for us to celebrate. Dan continued, “I’m going to delay coming back to finish my degree because the agency lined work up for me for the next few months. Plus, I need to prepare more before taking the LSAT. At least, that was the argument I made with my dad for postponing school. He has visions of me joining his firm after law school.” Bob and I rolled our eyes because we’d met Dan’s father a few times and he was intense. “I’m sharing a tiny apartment in Brooklyn with 5 other guys who are also with the agency.” I said, “So you won’t be living with us, then. This sounds like the chance of a lifetime. When do you have to go back?” Dan said, “Well, I’m packing up my clothes and leaving tomorrow morning. Bob and I were sad that our little menage a trois was breaking up prematurely, but we were excited for Dan. Dan and I started that evening in his bed kissing and cuddling. I licked his nips and arm pits and nibbled all over him as he wrapped his legs around the small of my back. The agency Hair & Makeup gays had shaved his chest hair off so longer had a treasure trail, but I continued down to his cock and took his head straight down my throat and savored his precum. I moved on to his beautiful ass and pushed his knees up to his pecs, then I began feasting on his ass. “Dave, I really missed how you eat my hole,” Dan moaned. I was fucking him with my tongue which always put him into a frenzy. Eventually, I penetrated his tight hole and fucked him rough and sweaty, just the way he and I always did. I jacked Dan’s cock, rubbing the precum that was streaming out of it and feeding it to him and then to myself. I locked eyes with him as I groaned and picked up the pace and finally shot my load into him. I stayed in him as I jacked him to orgasm and greedily ate his load all by myself. During the night, I remember my cock entering his ass a couple of times as I woke up with my arms around him. The next morning, we awoke the way we began the night before…kissing and cuddling. For the last time.

731 Our junior year (third year) at university came to a close and the three of us roommates decided to stay together for the upcoming fourth year. We got along well, and we enjoyed the convenience of being able to satisfy sexual needs without leaving home. With Dan and me, it was purely physical enjoyment of each other’s bodies. He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen and he was entertaining thoughts of becoming a model and had a trip planned over the summer to go to Manhattan because some agencies expressed interest. But with Bob and me, it started to become a little more. Bob and I started to catch movies together at the university union and then go out for pizza and then home to sleep together. We enjoyed being with each other and I found Bob’s scent to be irresistible. But Bob still dated and slept with women. He left of trail of broken hearts and irate co-eds. After briefly feeling a bit hurt and jealous, I saw our situation for what it was. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted from a “boyfriend”, but I knew Bob was even more hyper-sexual than I was, and that we probably wanted different things out of life. I knew he wanted kids someday. At the end of my third year, I met with my college career counselor. He had advised me at the end of the second year that I should consider going to graduate school to get a master’s degree and he had given me suggestions about schools to submit my applications. At our year-end meeting, he asked me if I had made decisions. I replied that I had narrowed it down to two large universities and that I scored very well on the standardized exams for my area of study. He gave me suggestions, and we parted for the summer break. At that moment, it truly struck me that life was moving on and I was moving along with it – that my comfy living arrangement would end in the next year and I would be moving somewhere where I would have to make new friends. Bob, Dan and I all had summer internships in large cities, but we would return to the apartment in mid-August. My internship flew by, and I enjoyed it, but everyone in the company was married with children or older. The apartment the company arranged was in a sketchy part of town. The large university in town was in the outer suburbs and not easy to access without a car, plus, it was summer break. So, I tried to meet people in dive bars in my area, but these were creepy places for the most part. I was exploring at the edge of the neighborhood one Saturday early evening in late July, when I saw a muscular guy in his 40s or 50s wearing some kind of leather pants over a pair of worn-out jeans and a tight black shirt walking in front of me. I thought he must be sweating like a pig with those leather pants. He disappeared into a building just ahead of me. There was no storefront or sign on the building, but there was a black door with just oversized address numbers on it: 731. I tried the door, and fortunately it was unlocked, and I could hear the beat of music coming from stairs which lead to a basement – maybe an underground dance club? I walked down the steps and there was a booth with a dude inside and a paper sign on the booth window that just said “$7”. I figured it was a cover charge. The guy said, “If you want a locker and lock, it’s $2 more.” And I handed him $9 and pushed a towel and lock toward me. He buzzed me in, and the place had a similar vibe as the Auroura Book and Video Store, but different. There were small lockers lining the walls of a room and there was an older guy in a jockstrap who locked me over and then grabbed his towel and walked through another doorway. I knew this was no dance club, and I quickly peeled my clothes off and stowed them in the locker and quickly wrapped the towel around my waist. The music was coming from speakers in the next room and there were some guys at the bar drinking beer. The variety of men went from leather muscle studs to very skinny middle-aged guys, to grandfathers with pudgy guts, and everything in between. I just turned 22 and was the youngest guy here by ten years. I noticed that there were condom dispensers on the wall, and I grabbed one and walked from the bar into a hallway. For no good reason, I had a fantasy that only big cities were suffering from the plague; not small northeastern college towns and certainly not athletic and masculine guys like my roommates and me. We had never used them with each other. We didn’t see the need. Plus, President Reagan never mentioned it, so how bad could it be? But being in the big city meant that I should be cautious. I walked into a dark hallway with gloryhole booths lining the walls and continued to the next room. The room was dimly lit and there were leather hammock-like things hanging from the ceiling beams by chains and some guys were getting fucked by other guys. I also noticed a padded bench and there was a muscle man in crotch-less leather pants and black leather boots who was strapped securely face down on it and getting fucked by another muscle stud; the guy strapped down had a leather hood over his eyes and nose and was sucking off a guy with a huge cock. Two or three others were watching this and probably waiting for their turns. There was also a bench like a weight-lifting bench and a shoeshine chair, but no one was using these. On the other side of the room was a swinging door, and I walked through. It was pitch black and hot and smelled like sweat and sex. I could hear other men, but I couldn’t see anything. I found a wall and felt my way along it. Then, I bumped into someone else. The first thing I felt was a hand on my pecs and my abs, and then he moved to my dick. I felt back and the guy was very muscular and well-built and a bit taller than me. He kissed me and I kissed back. Then he moved to my nipple and started licking and nibbling it. My cock was rock hard. He licked down my treasure trail to my cock and took me deep down his throat. He grabbed my ass cheeks and made me fuck his face while he rubbed his finger around my pucker. Finally, he released my cock, and I could feel his back and my cock was planted in his hairy crack. Then, he pointed my cock to his pucker and reached back and pulled me toward him until my cock head breached his ring. Bare. “Man, I don’t have a condom on!” I panic-whispered in his ear. He said back, “No problem, dude, I’m clean.” Hesitant at first, I plunged ahead and started fucking the guy. He also felt like he was pre-lubed because I slid into him with no friction. He was moaning like a bitch in heat, and we were both sweating. The pounding he was getting from me attracted some other invisible men who were fondling both of us. I felt a very hairy pot belly against my back trying to mount my hole and I pushed him away. Time seemed to fly, and suddenly I realized I was going to cum in this unseen stranger without a condom. “I’m gonna cum,” I said, and he pulled me deep inside of him. It was the first time I shot my load in another guy since the last time I fucked Dan in late May. The guy pulled off my cock and was gone. My cock was slick with cum. I grabbed a cup of water from the bar and then went to the gloryhole booths to collect myself and cool down. I berated myself for not insisting on a condom, but the guy said he was clean. But really, how could he know? Before I could obsess about it, a big bush and a circumcised cock came through the hole, and I reached out. I licked from the shaved balls up to the tip of his head, a solid eight inches. Having Dan and Bob as my coaches had made me into a very good cocksucker. Before, Dan said blowjobs never got him off, but I could make him cum with just my mouth. I gave him great head for about 10 minutes, then the guy was breathing hard and he pulled his cock out of the hole. “Show me that hole, boy,” he said. He was probably about 45 or 50 years old with a brown beard and moustache and very handsome. My ass needed to be rimmed badly. So, I turned around and put my ass up against the gloryhole. I felt his breath and then his first lick and then he licked my slightly hairy crack. I was in heaven. He tried to push an unlubricated index finger into my pucker, but I was tight and didn’t want to open for him. He went back to rimming me and then he tried to finger me again with something that felt like Vaseline. He rubbed it around my tight little hole, and I felt a slight pleasant tingling sensation. He kept licking my ass cheeks while he worked magic with his finger. I couldn’t resist any more and I unlocked my hole and let him push that finger into me. He took more goo and pushed it in me. Then I heard him stand up and I knew what was next. I still had the unused condom, and I tore the package open. As he put his cock up to the hole, I wrapped the condom onto his pole and turned around and pointed it toward my moisturized asshole. He slowly pushed in as I pushed my ass back against the wall. Finally, he was balls-deep and started to thrust. God, I needed cock so badly! He was pounding away at me, and I had two or three anal orgasms. My cock was dripping pre-cum profusely. Finally, he grunted and held his cock in me. As he pulled out, I felt cum dripping out of me. I looked around and saw him pulling the remnants of a shredded, cum-soaked condom off his cock. He dropped it on the floor and walked out of the booth.