the previous being said, on to my own addition to this topic.
I was "that kid" in a number of regards but thank the gods that i was NOT the kid that ate the paste. the most relevant facet is when they showed us the stranger danger videos when i was 9, id already been looking for free candy and puppy vans for two years but hadnt figured out what it was that i had wanted before. when i heard how there were perverts behind every bush i wanted to know why i hadnt been bent over the pool table and taught to take it in the back pocket yet because i read my parents copy of "the joy of sex" they got to spice up their own marriage and didnt think id look on that shelf when i was 6 and read (self taught at 3 and a half, high function autistic, 150 iq and got bored so picked up a dictionary and amused myself for a few hours) how men can find a finger in the butt feels good and they were not lying at all. moved up the object list you find in any of your standard usenet coming of age story wishing i was a girl because their orgasm was better {never really went trans, did want a sex change just to start a new life and maybe do porn for a couple years but didnt think that genital change specifically for fetish fulfillment in full acceptance of never being a father would have been cleared as an elective surgery in the 80s for a 14 year old hormone fueled boy so trust me when i say i understand a range of topics). anyway, the thought of what someone else would do hadnt really entered my mind until health class. had an insanely frustrating childhood because i was never walking by the right bushes. fast forward to 2003, im a dancer at a bar in atlanta pay for play on the side getting nothing but bottoms wishing one of these guiys would fuck me but making some amazing money and getting actual work like landscape gigs out of it and wishing i had actually thought to ask for help getting into porn because of my social anxiety. ended up meeting a guy who took me home and put porn on with molly rome getting gang banged and we smoked meth. first time i had watched porn while smoking it and all i knew was i wanted to be ass up face down getting my hair pulled some and told to take every drop in my ass like i was born for. things went along enjoyably for some time, never did get group fucked like i wanted, but one day, i got the idea to go to the video booths. i was going to take every single load i could while watching porn and i pretend my dad brought me there so i could get pregnant by some random guy and wanted to feel him grip my throat and whisper in my ear "im hiv positive with a high viral load and ive been boosting the semen volume. im going to come deep inside you and hold you down on the floor and let my cum soak in before i take you home because you are y son now" {yeah i get really detailed on the things that thrilled me} all so i could use the fact i had become (I DID NOT CONTRACT HIV, IT WAS MY INTENT TO DO SO BUT I DID NOT SUCCEED AND NO LONGER WISH TO DO SO) hiv positive as a way to leverage sympathy and get money out of them without having to have sex with them anymore but be free to go to bathhouses and take 50 or 60 loads for free and my addled fantasy also had the government giving me free housing and so forth.
I was lucky that i didnt go down the path but i very much understand the mindset of the one on a mission. the siren call of being in the moment and thinking that if i go to the bus stop now i can go visit my friend or i can go with this guy i just met because i hope he give me meth and fucks me but the turn on isnt the sex, its feeling the moment slip away as the other option goes away and the delicious craving to be taken on a ride that you have no control over