NWUSHorny

Having traveled to and lived in many different places across North America and tried to hookup, I have observed some things about both the hookup apps and in person cruising. The same problems that exist for in person cruising carry over to the apps and get magnified there. Population density does make a difference, that said there are other factors that make a huge difference as well. There are small to medium size cities that have a fairly active in person cruising scene at a parks, tearooms, maybe 1 or 2 ABS. Because of the limited population it may take some time, but there is a good chance that if you do meet someone you can connect and fuck regardless of whether it was initiated in person or from an app. There are larger cities with several bathhouses, sexclubs, ABS, parks, tearooms, and etc. Where you can find guys cruising and hooking up quicky to actually fuck 24/7. In these cities the apps work really well. There are also large cities that have several bathhouses, sexclubs, ABS, parks, tearooms, and etc, and there are a few guys at them but they are mostly there to see and be seen, hooking up is long drawn out process and when you do hookup you find out a lot of them have so many inhibitions and so little experience actually fucking that the sex is far less than satisfactory. Practice really does make perfect and they have very little practice. The apps in these cities are, at least for me even more frustrating than the smaller cities. There is lots of interest, but the negotiation to do anything takes numerous back and forth over hours and days, then when they do agree to meet to "fuck", you find out in a lot of cases that their definition of a fuck is nothing more than cuddling and maybe some light petting, not penetration. In person cruising is also be extremely frustrating due to repeat offenders that after the hours of courtship that resulted in a nonfuck, that want to hook up and spend a couple of hours not fucking every damn time you encounter them. In summary you can find willing partners, in both the smaller cities with active hookup scenes and larger cities with poor hookup scenes if you spend enough time at it on either the apps or in person, but it can be both time consuming and potentially extremely frustrating.

While I'm not partial to using a feminized name for a man's fuckhole, I'm not going to get up leave if either a top or bottom uses it while we are fucking.

This certainly feels like it. This is a new event that I haven't been to, but it certainly has that feel and I have refused similar promotions in the past, and I'm almost certain I could get the discount possibly without even asking for it. Pre-COVID I had a stack of free passes for this bathhouse, that I chose not to use.

So based on your definition, given the fact that most bathhouse customers are there to bottom, letting guys who are generally desirable willing active tops in at a discount or for free qualifies it as a brothel? I can confirm that there are some bathhouses doing exactly that. From a moral/ethical point of view, I'm glad I for the most part rejected the offers.

@tighthole64 Just curious are you actually using BZ to hookup?

I think I'm a little confused. I don't consider paying to enter a bathhouse to have sex with someone else that has paid to enter the bathhouse to be a brothels/prostitution situation. To me that is no different than paying to enter any other kind of establishment and interact with other customers. There are some gray areas however, like offering discounts to tops and or letting guys they know are active tops in for free/offering special perks and discounts. Another thing, that I know happens, is that one of my local bathhouses let's masseuses in for free on their weekly spa nights and for their quarterly parties, oddly enough it is the clientele they attract on those nights that prevents it from turning in to prostitution (most of them are extremely adamant that spa nights are NOT for sex, and that people like me are not welcome at their event). I know it isn't what is being asked, but from the perspective of actual prostitution occuring on the premises it seems a lot less likely for bathhouses than adult bookstores and theaters, and is more likely to involve the owners and employees since they don't seem to have as many rules about having sex on while they are working. Most bathhouses won't allow their employees to play while they are working, even on breaks, some of them won't even let them do it on the same day before or after their shift. I assume this is to remove any possible idea that the employees are being compensated for sex. Also the vast majority of bathhouse employees are total bottoms, so their sexual services are not really the ones that would benefit the club financially. I have been propositioned in all 3 types of establishments, but as far as I know the owners and employees were not involved, and in most of the occurances I was offered the compensation and did not accept it so no one could ask for their cut, so that may not be full confirmation.

@BootmanLA The other retail activities are somewhat unique to the adult book stores in my experience. I don't think I have ever seen an adult theater advertise what is playing on the outside, let alone on the marquee, and very few of them have any significant retail operation. As to facilities in bathhouses, I have been to some that had multiple large pools, some that emphasized their steam rooms and saunas, but it has been a long time since I've been in one that still has any kind of gym equipment, I assume the potential liability for injury is too great. Portland is really unusual, bathhouses here do not have any other facilities to speak of compared to most cities, or any legal need to hide what they really are, but they seem like they are continuously promoting nonsexual activities and events to get paying customers in the door. To be fair a significant number of guys do seem to patronize them just to use the extremely limited spa facilities and in the summer the outdoor nude suntanning decks. I've also been in line with 6-8 guys in front of me when they announced the steam room or hot tub was out of order and watched more than half of them leave. Yelp reviews also indicate that they do get a fair number of guys to come in once for the nonsexual activities, only to discover what they really are. I've often wondered what those reviews would read like if the reviewers had stumbled into a sexclub in a city where guys actually participate in fucking each other's brains out.

I think there are several issues here, that aren't specific to cumdumps. 1) Guys that are using the apps to fuel their fantasy jack off sessions rather than actually hookup. 2) Guys that enjoy the pursuit more than the sex itself. Some posters here have expressed that they enjoy looking for the hookup far more than the actual hookup. Also having attempted to cruise hookups in the PNW has led me to the conclusion that there are guys that enjoy the attention that comes from the pursuit sex, but have absolutely no interest in the physical act of sex itself. I'm convinced some of them get off on actually preventing fucks from happening.

Height differences don't have to be a problem, as long as both parties are willing to find a position that works. I frequently run into to the problem that a lot of guys think they can only fuck or get fucked in one position, and the most popular position for these guys where I live seems to be standing, which at 6'2" with long legs can be an obstacle either top or bottom. Why do some guys get offended when you suggest a different position, especially if the one you are trying clearly isn't working?

How does the bathhouse/sex club/sauna type establishments differ from adult bookstores or theaters that allow, either legally or illegally depending on local law, sexual activity to happen on their premises? I've been propositioned by other patrons in the theaters and bookstores to either pay or get paid for sex a lot more times than it has happened in bathhouses.

I'm not sure, since I identify as versatile and do not exchange money for sex period, I have not actually sought the discount anywhere. I will admit this discount has been offered to me, but I have always refused. I've always hardcore about not paying for or getting paid for sex and have always unequivocally refused all offers. My adamance to not get paid for sex is the main reason I did not really participate in any porn when I was younger, although I am visible in the background but not having sex (wearing a mask) in 3 orgy movies (2 gay one bi). After moving to the west coast and experiencing laxer laws about sexual devience, I've also been discomforted with winning free passes for winning in various sexclub contests over the years, I really enjoyed participating in the contests but haven't for the most part used the free passes that came with winning them (at one point I had collected a several year supply of lube and did accept at least 1 jockstrap). I also have a hard and fast rule not to enter the same contest again once I have won it.

As someone who has always been totally versatile, I can't imagine not being willing to do one or the other. I would also add, that you are far more likely to get loads at the sauna if most of the guys there are versatile and willing to help get and keep the ball rolling than you are if you go as a total bottom. Take a look at this poll while the intention wasn't to poll tops versus bottoms, you should notice that 50% of sauna goers are total bottoms versus only around 10% total tops. I have long suspected if the ratio skews even slightly higher towards total bottoms, that the sauna/bathhouse/sex club action simply stops. So I believe that if you want to collect a lot of loads and you do have the natural inclination to be at least somewhat versatile, you will actual get more loads if you are willing to flip.

To be fair, there are bathhouses that offer discounts to tops on certain days, I'm not real sure how they determine which guys are really good unless they know them. I also had an uncomfortable situation, at least for me, several years ago at a bathhouse in Denver where several employees were offering to let me in for free. Since I was regularly fucking the employees in question it felt way to much like prostitution, and for the record I refused after the first time. It had not occured to me at until just now, but maybe they were actually whoring me out without compensating me. Even here in no fuck Portland I have at times felt like one of the bathhouse owners has struck me as trying to overly accommodating to me but has not actually tried to comp anything for me, because to quote him, "the sexual energy you bring in." So it is entirely possibly I have been used in the way you are saying, although I don't exactly feel abused since I definitely enjoyed myself. In another way, in my situation, it is pretty close to the opposite of men paying the brothel, since I'm almost certain none of them have extended the freebies and good will for me to be a bottom. I have fucked literally thousands of horny bottoms for them free of charge. Apparently I'm not o bothered since I'm about to leave for the baths.

Most definitely, and as a versatile guy I feel like I'm doing something wrong if the bottom I'm topping isn't hard.

I did not know that. I did know it was of Swedish origin but not much more. My only real familiarity with the word smorgasbord was limited to what we now call buffet style restaurants, where I had lots of variety and could eat my fill. It definitely works, since I have definitely buttered a few goose (and gander) as well as been buttered myself on the table, so to speak.

I'm the 1st born male, and definitely bisexual. I've known I was attracted to both girls and boys since I was sexually aware. My 1st time having sex was with a girl at 14, and did not start exploring sex with other guys, I think mostly due to cultural conditioning, until I was 19 and in college. I don't seem to have whatever gene or at least it hasn't been activated, to develop a romantic attachment to another man, although I do have and have developed them several times with a woman. I have had a lot more gay sex, because of it's availability. Once I discovered that smorgasbord of gay cruising and hooking up at 19 that pull has been hard to resist, even though I developed several romantic attachments with women throughout my 20's and early 30's and tried to settle for maybe just a gay fuckbud or occasionally random hookup on the side, it simply doesn't work for me. At 53 I still pop a boner at inconvenient times, for both sexes, for me it is simply easier to go find anotherrandom guy to enjoy my boner with than a woman, so that is what I usually try to do.

That depends on the location. Here in no fuck Portland it is completely legal and a lot of the book stores have well maintained glory holes and more often than not small areas for group sex including furniture to facilitate it. Despite all of this "openess" to sex, fucking or even sucking among the bookstores patrons is less frequent here than in other parts of the world I have visited for both gay and straight sex.

Been there done that, as well as bred quite a few BBC men with my BWC. Being willing to return the favor seems to go a long way toward making it happen.

Why can't I find couples like this where I live, or anyone into 3 ways for that matter? You aren't being a "prick" for refusing him. He should be used to it. I'm not that much above average and it happens to me, the flip side is a lot of other guys are actually seeking him out for that very same reason, and in an active club there usually isn't a shortage of versatile guys to fuck his boy while he fucks them.

I would definitely try that if I was working somewhere it was possible. I know some of them have lunchtime specials.

I'm not personally interested in having a separate gay social life. Common interests outside of sex are more important considerations for friends I want to spend time with, I don't want to limit it to any one aspect. I'm also bi, and I have never really developed a romantic attachment with another man, and suspect I never will. I have had romantic attachments with a handful of women, but when it comes down to it, I've never been able to make a commitment to anything that resemble faithfulness. I'm okay with being friends with benefits with another man, but my main attraction to gay sex has always been the variety and ease that come with random hookups.

@occumhungry It is interesting to see an outsiders review of the Portland bathhouses, I'm glad you found someone to actually hookup with at Hawks. I hope that if you ever get back up here on a weekend that you try and review them for weekends as well. Generally speaking bigger crowds don't equate to more sex, just guys being friendly. In my opinion based on going to bathhouses in quite a few cities is that the sexual intensity at the Portland clubs is usually extremely low. I see in another of your posts, that the 1st bathhouse and Cumunion Party that you attended was at Club 1350, which I have been to several times and was one of my favorite bathhouses. Unfortunately in my experience the kind of sexual action that 1350 had on a regular weeknight is more intense than a Portland Cumunion Party. FYI the Cumunion Parties at Steam are on the 3rd Thursday and Hawks is on the 1st Saturday.

As long as you are allowing guys to remove the plug and give you the real thing, it's not a problem. The problem here, is guys who bring their toys but don't give or take real cock. I'm imaging this will turn out like the Fetish Fridays they tried several years ago, they got guys to come model their gear but were so disruptive for guys actually there to have sex that they became known as No Fuck Friday, causing their regular customers that like to fuck to stay away.

Update: it looks like they really are encouraging guys to bring their toys. Thursday nights are now Toy Drive Nights, with this advertisement: "Bring your toys to show off the collection or buy any from our selection with 20% off toy purchases." I know they are just trying to get admission paying bodies in the door, and aren't actually suggesting guys to come in and play dildos in lieu of fucking, but this is in the PNW and unfortunately it is going to encourage even more anti-penis behavior in gay sex venues where it is already rampant.

Very interesting topic, because of this I've decided to use the perorative "time wasting cock blocker" next time the occasion arises. It shouldn't take long, I'm pretty much guaranteed to wind up behind a "time wasting cock blocker" driving 15 mph below the speed limit in the passing lane, anytime I get in the car here.