Kayne

On 9/11/2022 at 10:16 PM, Jackruby said:

I was not sexually abused, but I was emotionally abused in many ways and varying degrees of severity by dad and his family who lived a mile away. I do believe this is what caused me to seek out the affection of men.  I don’t mean to say that my experience can compare to that of those who were sexually abused.  I’m just sharing my experiences. 

Dude. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't even know my Dad's Family. they utterly disowned me when I was a kid the minute my old man passed on. My Mom's family was emotionally toxic. (not my mom but much of her family) you must have felt so alone. I know I did.  so I'm sorry. 

On 10/9/2022 at 4:14 PM, Close2MyBro said:

I love Arab cock. I rarely got much of it until I ran into an arab businessman late at night in a hotel in Ft. Lauderdale. Since then he has introduced me to many other arab men, so now when I have a craving, I have a few choices to choose from.

Lucky Bastard! Hope  you're Enjoying all that Arabian cum!

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Well, my apologies for responding to you via JimInWisc (and apologies to JIW too).  I'm sorry to know that you've been in a sexual desert for so long, but - after reading your profile - I'm impressed with the reasons.  You're a real Mensch. 

No worries Mate. and thanks!

Aw Fu k! I'm hooked. Beginning to regret not giving my Ass over to that Casting Director when I was 19...!

I was homeless when I was in my teens. I lived with my Mom in some of NYC's "Finest homeless shelters"  There is a lot I can't say about my experiences without  violating rules. but what I can say is that I had a lot of interesting experiences. I kept it up on occasion well into my late 20's.  The last guy that I know was homeless/ a bum was a guy I had played with many times from those teen Days.  we got Busted when the Pope came to town, and a Fancy New High Rise Condo went up and overlooked the semi public wooded Crusing grounds. When we were in the cage, I heard him telling the cops he was Poz... but that is a different story, for another time and another thread.

I will say though, I miss some of those days. 

I remember my Late teens and this friend I had in high school. He was Egyptian and Afghani.  His Dad ran a corner store.  The old man caught me drilling his son one day after school. I thought hecwas gonna kick my ass. Instead, he dropped trouble and seeded me while I bred his boy.

I lost track of them after 9/11. The Climate here against anyone from that region was quite toxic and they left the U.S. But I have Appreciated Arabian men ever since.

2 hours ago, JimInWisc said:

I don't know.  You snagged part of @Kayne quote as if it were mine.  I think he just has a family situation that makes in person connections (and it sounds like even private bate) impossible.  

Sadly, thats about the size of it. 

5 hours ago, blackrobe said:

That's far too long.

I'm sure you must be able to get some respite care from some local agency. Have someone else take care of your charge for a day so you can have a break and breed.

Its My Mom. And once I can afford to find someone I can trust  that she is comfortable with. I will do that. 

I fuckin Love Race Play. I love White cock I love breeding white hole.. I'm right with u bro!

I live in NYC. I'd be here all day if I recounted every  Men's room, Bathhouse, Subway station, Tunnel, car and Platform, Every parking lot, bublic park or office building Jail cell,commuter bus, stadium house of worship or a dark street alley or abandonded store front or between parked cars or City roof top where we could be seen by others in taller buildings or every sex club or night club with a black out room 

My desire is to have more sleazy public sex. to drop more loads and take even more. but. the older I get and the more conservative the world around me. gets, the more I have to lose. 

but damn I miss the days whenI was brave enough to grab a had cock on a crowded  subway train

I Have been perpetually horny for as far back as I can remember. However, over the lastv10/ 12 years or so, I have been a fulltime Caregiver.  I do so in a 1 br apt and I'm  mostly unable to get out and breed. or be bred. and I am never alone to please myself. 

the last time I came inside another man was Feburary 2020. it was the last time I has any sex. 

Oh Fuck! that was hot! More please!

6 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I realize this question is aimed primarily at Tops, but it might help to clarify a little about what you mean by ‘no holes refused’. Does this mean that the Top will fuck any and every hole that presents itself, or simply that the Top doesn’t discriminate?

In the first case, it’s hard to draw an equivalency between a ‘no loads refused’ cumdump and a Top because the cumdump’s hole is capable of taking serial use repeatedly in relatively quick succession, and realistically, the number of Tops available to actually penetrate him will be limited. The Top, however, is not equipped to perform in such a serial way, certainly not in terms of actual breeding. He may accomplish multiple penetrations, but ejaculations are going to be limited; he must, eventually, refuse a hole because the equipment is spent.

It’s also a question of volume - while in most cases the cumdump will have a limited number of Tops interested in using him, a Top might find himself in greater demand than he can supply, simply because bottoms outnumber Tops to such a great extent.

In the second case, it’s easier to understand how a Top might consider himself ‘no holes refused’, in that he may take an opportunistic approach and enjoy sampling whatever comes his way, with little or no discriminating, until he has finished his play. This is sort of ‘no holes refused (in context)’

This suggests that there may be Tops who will fuck any and every hole available A) out of sheer appetite, an appetite that must necessarily be limited as discussed above, or B) out of a sense of duty and service - a type I have never encountered in the wild.

I am interested to hear Tops’ responses to this because there is still, as far as I (admittedly poorly) grasp the workings of the Top mind, a difference in fundamental psychology between a bottom’s receptivity and a Top’s penetrative drive. I take all men who want to fuck me because it is my role as a vessel to serve penetrators. If there is a Top equivalent I would be fascinated to know it.

I'm not a TPP exactly- more like Top - adjacent,  But? Speaking g for me? You hit the nail on its head.

15 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

Here is my experience on the subject:

If the question comes up at a sexclub or orgy, any guy that asks about loads in the hole prior to sticking their dick in it isn't going to fuck, regardless of what the answers is. The only reason they ask is to fuel their masterbation fantasies, so both answers are wrong.

If a guy asks when he is already balls deep in a hole, he isn't going to stop fucking but will often use the answer to enhance the fuck with his dirty talk. So if the dick is already in the hole there is no wrong answer.

 

For the record, when I ask I am already balls deep in your ass. If I'm asked by someone who is not inside me, I've recently been going with, "you will have to fuck me to find out." If a guy asks after shoving his dick up my hole I happily give him an estimate of the number of loads in my hole.

FUCK! A pig After My own Heart!

Okay... so if this is fiction, or Fictionalized than Bravo. Hot Fantasy from Several angles. The way you eroticise the wants, step by step makes me feel like this is either total fiction / wish fulfillment or rhos was consensual non consent

If this is real on the other hand, I wouldnl call you reckless self destructive. I once expressed my views about situiins like this. the opinion wasn't popular, but I stand by it. I'll condense it to. Accepting personal responsibility for your actions.  Everything hat you described was in your control.

Should He have respected your "Boundaries?"  Absolutely.  Is " mixed signals / blurred lines" an acceptable excuse in 2022. No.  

 But it is low to lead a man on on this way ans complain that you were S.A.'d

Especially when we all know you're gonna do it againSonI choose to believe its fiction and say FuuuucK that's Hot!

when I was a teen (90's) There was a black porn star Named Scorpion Aka Brian Stinger. He has a scorpion on his cock and I've wanted one ever since. Too bad I'm q grower and not a show-er also my dick is like 2 shades darker than the rest of me.so it would be lost on me. 

I always wanted a Biohqzard Tat but between  a dragon, Biohazard or scorpion I've never been able to decide which. if I could combine them into one image I'd love to get one of my pec to the shoulder.

I'm a Furry  M-preg is  Huge Turn-on for me!

I'm in both camps. 

There are occasion where I like a nice cologne.  showering with different  soaps feels good an is good skin care. Still,

I love my natural scent. if I didn't live alone or need to deal with others I'd rarely shower. And any dude that can clear out a bus by raisin his armpit had got me hard instantly. Im not a pig for nothin.

Don't you dare fuckin Stop!

Not mu Dad (actually 3as used by him) but Hell yeah, With my Favorite Uncle.(mom's brother). He's gone now but if I had a chance? oh fuck yeah.

I just want to point out that thing  trapped in fantasy are easy to obsess over. And as it has been brought up, born is an inaccurate depiction of sex. Full stop.  Just like any movie,  actors, directors, choreographers  all make what you see on screen so  very easy. the reality is that its not. Fluffers, drugs, shot angles, props, makeup, starting, Stopping. there is a lot going on there. 

So yes, do your best to separate the fantasy sold to you, and your own expectations. Talk to your wife. and go slow. you also can never have enough lube!

If you nips stand out and you want the hardware go for it! I know I wish mine did. 

So I had a well written long answer to this question. then… technology. Still approach this in a different way.

To answer the questions Yes I was Raped as a child Especially if one wants to define rape as any Sexual activity with an "adult" before I was 18. (More accurately I can say that I sought out and initiated many of my pre legal encounters when I was a teen), As for whether I seek out men like my abusers? I can't say I truly know.  My Father was my First. He was a Decorated Vietnam Marine Vet. and the few memories I have of him were violence directed toward me born out of jealousy, hate, alcohol abuse and PTSD. I remember both "grooming" behavior and violent rape and beatings.  I remember Being passed around to his NAMBLA buddies, and other vets he served with or winos in the neighborhood. I remember that when he died,  My Godparents took over where left off.  I remember the special school my mom sent me to after my total mental breakdown. I remember the priests, counselors, teachers and dorm staff that could smell it on me even though I never told anyone until I was in my teens. 

I know most people will say that anything before I was 18 wasn't my fault or decision because the law says I couldn't make a decision, but I call bullshit. Turning a magic number doesn't make one mature its just a false sense of it. and by the time I was in double digits I was already a predator, Seeking out Grown Men or My peers, for sex. I sold myself and hung out in places where no 14 year old should be and you can imagine what I did.

If the greater question is was I affected and do I retain/ reenact any of those behaviors, or was I negatively affected. I'll say Hell yeah! Was my psychosocial development royally Fucked? Sure! Who wouldn't be? I spent years being super destructive to myself. I spent years hating myself and my body. I never really got into Chems,  but I fantasized about them. I made choices that endangered my life and others, choices that would have me labeled as antisocial at best and a soulless sociopath at worst. I Gambled and Shopped my way into trouble Exobitionisim had gotten me jailed and fined. Even though I got my "gift" in a hospital cock up, I can accept now that whether It was an active chase or not, I was chasing the dragon. Part of me felt it inevitable, that I had no choice. I will never have kids because, though I want to be a dad and I want sons… I'm terrified of what I might do to them.

Do I get off on even the worst of it now? It sometimes shames, sickens and repulses me to say that I do. I rewrite history to give fantasy me strength, power, authority and agency I didn't have then, and that d0oes not always mean I'm the dominant actor in these recreations. Sometimes the memory of the degradation and powerlessness scratches my itch. 

But I can't say if that is me seeking  out familiar territory. I do know that I have things I value now, people who depend on me and that helps keep my beast on its chain. 

but yeah… there is an affect

I know couple of retired Porn Stars. Two guys that'll if I had myvway would be my "Dads" or big brothers in the brotherhood. Lost Contact with one. Black German dude I think he might have transitioned.

The other "Dad" Left porn and the risk life  got on amends and became a some what promenient activities.

Gotta say ain't qishbI knew more Porn Stars of Color that were more than escorts. im not talking a romantic relationship. but friends/ FWB would be nice

Or we Dont necessarily NEED porn as we have done things far less rehearsed. I suppose its the difference between Watching Sports and Playing Spots