ErosWired

It could get confusing if people can’t tell whether you’re a Florist or a Floorist.

I suspect that’s precisely what they wouldn’t do…

Ideally, one would hope that would be the case for a practitioner using the term “therapist” in any context.

Frankly, I’ve never understood how a city the size of Indianapolis could sustain two bathhouses in the first place. Club Indy is not that far away in town. They just don’t have CumUnion, and I’ve never cared much for their steamroom, or found their rooms as comfortable.

From time to time one encounters men on the hookup apps who are promoting their services in massage. I have always thought it highly unlikely that a licensed professional who runs a straight-up legit massage therapy studio would solicit custom on a site where some sort of sexual service is likely to be assumed. It might be noted, by the way, that masseuse is used to indicate a female practitioner, wheras masseur is used for a male, both terms originating from the French. More lately, however, I have read that professional outfits have consciously abandoned both terms in favor of massage therapist, as they believe masseuse/masseur has become innuendo (at least in America) to indicate a person illicitly doing sex work.

That, in fact, is what I have done in Indy the night before every bathhouse visit. There is no comparability between the two experiences, and taking a hotel room for a night is always a greater expense than visiting a bathhouse for an equivalent number of hours. But hotel hosting isn’t an option to replace a bathhouse or a sex club or an ABS in any case because the paradigm is not the same. The hotel room is not a venue where you can go to cruise. You have to go and work to attract men to your room, usually on an individual basis, and unless, again, you’re in a populated area, you’re usually S.O.L. I already hotel host regularly because it’s my only other option. It’s a poor second, and I have to travel an hour minimum for even a marginal return in this part of the world. Getting 8-18 loads in a hosting night is not realistic here. I average 5-12, and I do quite well compared to others locally. The Tops just aren’t here in enough number. Fornication events? People with backyards and pools hosting fuckfests? You might have access to such things where you are, but there are great swaths if the country where there’s no such thing within reach. You might as well be suggesting I try my luck on the Moon.

Several posters above have recommended taking an Imodium tablet. You should be aware if what this does. The colon is like a conveyor belt, moving waste matter from one end to the other. For most of its transit through your colon, your waste is in a liquid form. It is the function of the colon to absorb the water so that the waste can firm up as a solid at the far end of the process for ease of elimination. You don’t walk around with solid stools running through the extent of your large intestine. The bowel moves the liquid waste forward by means of a series of involuntary contractions of the chamber-like sections of the colon. This reaction is called peristalsis. Peristalsis is a good thing; without it, you could not poop. It also makes cleanout much, much easier when done properly. Ideally, your cleanout regimen should trigger your peristalsis response, which will get the conveyer moving and get you emptied out. Imodium’s method of action is that it stops peristalsis. It brings the conveyor to a halt. It does not, however, prevent the upstream elements if the digestive system from continuing to deposit new waste into the colon. You can’t take the Imodium and then eat as normal and act as if you magically no longer need to defecate. Stuff’s going to build up, and will still move down the pipe, just in a less orderly fashion. Plus, if you’ve taken the Imodium, and then try to clean out, you’ve just made your job vastly more complicated because all those chambers that would have contracted to help you get the stuff out have now become un-contracting traps holding it in. If you’ve thoroughly cleaned out, and you haven’t eaten anything that could enter the colon after your cleanout, there’s nothing for the conveyor belt to move in the first place, so if you’ve planned your cleanout and your diet to correspond with your playtime, there’s no point in taking the Imodium at all. Imodium is an antidiarrheal medication. Don’t take it unless you need it.

What options are those? This option was the closest option of its type and quality to me, and it still took three hours’ drive to get there. The only ABS within 50 miles of me was closed down a few months ago. In some places there are no options at all, and now some people are finding even their access to smut online restricted. I don’t make the decision to turn my back on this place lightly - I don’t have an alternative I can turn to that is anything close to what this was, and the nearest CumUnion party aside from this is in Atlanta - 6 hours one way. There are no sex clubs in this part of the continent. This is a place where old church ladies holding Bibles will go into the back rooms of an ABS and stare down everyone who walks through the door (true story). There are no easily cruisy parks, and if a place were to become popular, there would be a crackdown, because Jesus. So, if there are options I’m somehow overlooking, I would be delighted to know of them. Unless they’re only available in major metropolitan areas in more liberal parts of the world, in which case they don’t apply to most of us stuck in Buttfucking Egypt.

Is it normal? Sex in small groups is a not uncommon occurrence that more often than not takes place among people known to each other simply because that’s the easiest way to arrange such things. There are informal groups if men all over who meet regularly to fuck in groups. Why are you concerned about whether it’s ‘normal’?” Why did you ‘chicken out’? All five of you chickened out, or just some of you? Or just you and your boyfriend? Or just one of you? The key to ensuring a good time at these things is not to go in with a lot of expectations, to be open-minded, willing and flexible, and to treat the occasion with good humor as an opportunity to have fun. Leave jealousy, pride and insecurity at the door - they did not receive an invitation. This is just sex. It’s a game with five players. Now, a note: Fucking is at its core a two-man job, so with a group of five there’s always the potential fir someone to feel on the outside at any given time. Care must be taken to keep the action mixed up and changing so everyone gets ti play in equal measure. Yes, three people can fuck at once using two holes on the same person, or fuck sandwich-style, but that places a burden on the one in the middle to split his attentions evenly, and it’s not easy, especially for someone inexperienced. I frankly don’t enjoy being spitroasted because I know I’m not doing justice to the cock in my mouth when my body is being rocked back and forth by the one banging my cunt. This especially important when committed couples are involved in the group, because if the couple allows their personal dynamic to limit overall play, it isn’t really an open five-man group. If the two of you are going to play with others, be prepared to share openly, and do not take any of it back home with you in the form of jealousy or hurt feeling. If that’s a risk, you’re not ready for this kind of play.

Some men do not consider it a reward you have earned. That suggests that you are entitled to it, but they may be the sort of Tops you consider you a faggot who deserves nothing but to be humiliated by having a ‘real Man’s’ seed splashed over your ‘worthless’ face. The fact that you may seem desperate to retrieve the cum into your mouth may only strengthen their perception that you are pathetic to them. Or, they may not see you in such demeaning terms, but it may be their personal fetish that they enjoy seeing their cum rope out over another man’s face. It may give them a sense of power and control that they are able to see that, that they do not get when they can’t actually see their cum because it gets swallowed. They may simply be more visually oriented. There’s no accounting for kink. In any case, you may experience less frustration if you stop thinking of the cum as ‘yours’ - it’s his, to deposit as he likes, unless you have conditioned your service specifically on being allowed to swallow it. If he agrees to that, he does have an obligation to let you; otherwise, he does not.

Go, and give yourself permission to have the experience. Give yourself permission to enjoy it. If, for any reason, you find that the activity is not for you, give yourself permission to never do it again if that’s what your heart tells you. Ask yourself what exactly it is that you’re nervous about, and ask yourself what’s the very worst possible thing that could happen (whatever it is, it’s not going to happen). Ask yourself if you would regret not doing it if you opted not to go through with it (you would). Now go, and live your adventure. Ships are meant to leave the harbor.

He said “Ask for the ‘deep tissue massage’ up front”, but perhaps it should be “Ask for the ‘deep tissue massage up front’.” Subtle difference there? 😉

Two other nebulous terms indeed. I have difficulty taking toxic seriously in any of these HIV contexts, as the primary inference of the term relates to poisons, not pathogens. HIV does not render a person’s fluids toxic. Medically hazardous, possibly; toxic, no. But the way it’s used in this context isn’t about anything real to start with, as much as it is intended to promote the fetish concept of a hazardous “biotoxin” being carried in the body and the thrill of courting the risk that that “biotoxin” will be conveyed. So in this sense, whether it’s just HIV or HIV HVL really doesn’t make much difference; they’re both kind of silly. To whore/whoring originates in middle- and old English forms meaning ‘prostitute’, though these in turn derive from older roots denoting adultery and fornication. So over time, the specific meaning has come to relate to those who perform sex for compensation. In modern vernacular usage, however, we see a broadening of the term to mean a person who is simply promiscuous, to the point that the Urban Dictionary offers up “A girl or guy who sleeps with multiple people”, which I would calk the Puritan’s definition, as it would make whores of a sizable chunk of the sexually active population (it goes on to specify that ‘Multiple means more than one, so essentially anyone who isn’t a monogamist is a whore). I think a more useful way to consider the word is not in terms of prostitution, but of trafficking, i.e., the use of force or coercion to compel labor or services, often sexual in nature. While the kind of ‘whoring’ most often referenced here does not actually involve compulsion or involuntary performance, the term broadly invokes a fetish or fantasy scenario simulating behavior in which one person trafficks another, whether or not any exchange of value is implicated. If the term is used in the context of prostitution, the question of an exchange of value is inherent.

It’s the philosophical we (a rhetorical device) and if you aren’t interested in the question, why bother commenting on the thread?

I just returned from a CumUnion weekend at The Works bathhouse in Indianapolis. This is a 6-hour round-trip drive for me, but I have been going up there ever since CumUnion started there in the years before the pandemic. It has always been my practice to arrive at 8am, take a 12-hour room, and extend my time through 1am or so to take in the party. I have always preferred The Works for the steamroom, which has been the best of any bathhouse I’ve been to. That was then. After the pandemic, the place changed ownership. When I was there in February, things seemed more or less the same, but the vibe was off…and the steam room was much too hot. Their solution was to open the door to the room until it cooled down. I didn’t have as much luck then, but I wrote it off to chance. This time, I got up there, headed out, and noticed on their website that their hours were now listed as 10am-midnight. Fuck. I pulled into their lot, expecting to have to wait a couple of hours. The sign said ‘Open’. In fact, their website is, and I quote from the staff, “A clusterfuck.” But there’s nothing they can do about it. I take a 12-hour room, and re-up for a six-month membership. I get set up, strip down, and happily head for the steamroom. Or rather, the scalding-room. The steam is so hot that you can barely touch the walls, and if you were to take a deep breath, you would scald your lungs. I went to the desk to report the situation. ”Nothing we can do until the manager gets here at 4:00,” I was told. ”It’s a safety hazard,” I said. “Can I open the door?” ”We can’t do that.” An hour later someone came by my room to tell me a calk had been put in to the manager. Five hours later, the room had cooled - because they had turned off the steam. The walks were now dry, but still radiating heat because they had been so hot. Steam would not return until around 5:30pm, meaning that for 9 of the 12 hours in which I paid for use of a steam room, there was no steam room. Which meant that, for 9 of the 12 hours, I was unable to position myself in one of the most likely places to get a cock shoved up my ass. Fast forward to 8pm. The 12 hour room is about up, so I go down to re-up the room for the usual additional five hours for the CumUnion party, an additional $20. ”I’d like to extend my room, please.” ”That I cannot do.” “What?” ”On party nights, we can’t extend rooms.” ”I’ve been doing this for years. When did this happen?” ”Last week.” So I go back up, get dressed, gather my things, strip the linens, and go down to check out, as I am being kicked out. As I hand in the key, I ask, “So, how long would a person have to exit the building before he could come back in and you would let him have a room again?” “Oh, he doesn’t have to leave, he can do it standing right there, as soon as he checks out.” ! !! ”I’ve just checked out,” I said. “May I please have an extension on my time?” ”That I cannot do.” !! !!! ”May I please have another room?” ”Sure. Three hours for the party, that’s $30.” Jesus. Christ. They force you to check out before you can check back in again, and for their party - note this - where you once got five hours for $20, you now pay $30 for three. That’s a 250% hourly rate increase! When I was finished with my three hours and checked out - again - the guy said, “Next time you come in your membership card will be here at the desk.” I replied, “That’s okay, I don’t believe I’ll be coming back.” It’s simply no longer worth a 6-hour round-trip, and I’ll be damned If I pay double-and-a-half for incompetence. For all the places elsewhere in the forum where I’ve recommended this bathhouse in the past - disregard. It’s absolutely not what it once was.

Perhaps I should clarify: While women can be and sometimes are referred to as cumdumps, if you do a broad canvas of the term as an internet search, the balance of discussion seems to gravitate toward the term applied in a homosexual context, and in those places where it is applied to females, the source of the commentary is generally heterosexual in point-of-view. For purposes of our discussion here in the male-only areas of Breedingzone, the applicability of the term to women is only peripherally significant, unless one attaches importance to the ‘femaleness’ of the male cumdump’s role, which is a matter of debate. We are most interested here in how to define the term as it applies to us as we use it in these threads.

Cumdump must be one of the most common nouns used on this forum, yet I’m not sure there’s any real consensus on what it means. On a nauseatingly regular basis we get guys spouting off about criteria that have to be met if one is to be considered a “true” cumdump (as opposed to a false cumdump?), and get to hang some kind of nonexistent certificate on the bathhouse wall. It’s a pointless exercise meant for no purpose that for men to say “I feel slutty”. But the word has to mean something. There has to be a point at which one fits the simple description or one does not, in a way that need not imply value or superlative. You have to bottom to be a cumdump, but you don’t have to be a cumdump to be a bottom, even a total bottom. What, therefore, does it essentially mean? First, the term is applied almost exclusively to males who perform a receptive sexual role. Females who do essentially the same thing are not similarly labeled; they are simply termed sluts or whores, as their sexual receptivity is proscribed. It is only males who require a term to define the extent to which they assume a non-biological function. If we take the word in its parts, it suggests simply a place where semen is deposited in a bulk repository. Dump need not imply waste, but simply centralized storage, as in a munitions dump, but the more common connotation of the word evokes a place where discarded matter is left. In both cases, however, the concept is that of a place where deposits are made from many sources to a single location. So, the definition seems to require a sense of semen sourced from multiple sources to a single depository. Examining dump further, we realize that the definition means more than simply a ‘container of many’ or ‘vessel for many’, otherwise cumbucket would be more widespread in use, and carry the same caché, but while similar, it does not. So we must apply further meaning from dump. Principally, a dump carries a negative sense not only in that it suggests waste, but also in that a dump is a place used indiscriminately by everyone to deposit their waste, and is thus the place where everyone puts the unpleasant things they produce and no one wants to talk about. This fits cumdump particularly well in that the release of semen into anything other than a sanctioned vagina carries with it a sort of stigma in the broader culture, even though it’s a natural and necessary function performed in vast quantities daily. (If only 100 million men in the entire world had a single ejaculation in a day, it would still produce roughly 132,000 gallons of semen; in five days it would fill an Olympic-size swimming pool.) The fact that it isn’t generally considered polite to speak of, and thus a practice of shame that “other people do” lends an air of the illicit to being the receiver of both the illicit substance from the illicit depositor. Distilling that, it would seem that we can limit cumdump to those sexually receptive males who accept semen from multiple sources, in volume, and that this carries with it some degree of expected public shame or disrepute. It is less clear how applicable the sense of a lack of discrimination factors; while many professed cumdumps proclaim that they accept all loads without discrimination, how true this actual is is debatable, and some are openly selective while still being indiscriminate within their selected subset. So an accurate definition of cumdump likely would say tends not to discriminate. The degree of shame is also a fluid value. Some cumdumps clearly incorporate a sense of shame and low self-esteem into their view if their own sexuality, while others are shameless and proud of their ability and service. A pervasive sense of disreputability hangs over the term, but this seems to be applied from outside rather than inside, and even that is not universal. A cumdump, then, as a core definition, is simply a male who accepts volumes of semen with limited discrimination. Now, where is the line drawn between a cumdump and simply a promiscuous bottom? Is cumdump, in the end, simply an individual state of mind, a self-applied wantonness? And if so, how can there be a ‘true’ state if any such condition? Discuss.

A question, as this has always been a little unclear to me in terms of the policy - how are we to treat content dealing with persons who are not escorts or prostitutes per se, but who condition their offers to hook up on whether a person is ‘generous’, asks for ‘tips’, or otherwise requests compensation for sexual service in a roundabout or euphemistic way? What about those asking for non-monetary compensation such as drugs, or even that one pay for their transportation? Such practices are absurdly common, and it would be nearly impossible for me to give, for example, a full accounting of a night’s hotel hosting, without mentioning such an instance.

Yours is the right attitude, and really, the only way the situation will ever get turned around - if we collectively stop refusing to let it pass. Unfortunately, I think it requires a critical mass of people to change social behavior, and I don’t think we’re headed in the right direction. The sad thing is that this is the age of the ‘influencer’, and if some of those influencers would influence people to be civilized instead of promote hyper-consumption, vanity, and twerking, we might be a little better off.

It took a whole hour? That happens to me in under five minutes. Strangers who want to use me like a fleshlight or breed me like livestock - no problem. Strangers who want to cuddle with no emotional connection…deeply unnerving. In such situations I become about as cuddleable as a cactus.

A) Men looking for sex are incredibly fickle. B) As noted by others above, it defies explanation that what sometimes seems like a majority of men would rather talk about fucking than actually do it. C) It’s not you. However you might look or act, even if someone doesn’t find it appealing, someone else will. The only way to be disappointed is to assume that you’re going to be universally attractive. That’s never going to happen. D) Do not confuse chemistry with alchemy. Fucking at a bathhouse requires some mysterious mixture of the latter. Case in point: Yesterday evening at the bathhouse I stopped by the room with the fuck bench in it. There were three guys on the couch doing oral but nobody on the bench. The light was off. I got on the bench. Within five minutes, I was banged by all three of the couch guys, plus two more who came in to check it out. Two hours later I returned. The room was vacant, light was on dim. I got into position. Guys passed, looked in, kept going. Two came in, turned off the light, and mounted up for full-on fucking on the couch, which drew viewers. They lasted a couple of minutes. Then, everybody cleared out. Nobody even groped my ass. It’s a crap shoot. @PigBoyDallas is correct - it’s about numbers. As long as you’re there and making yourself available to the men passing through, some will eventually choose you. The less picky you are, the better your luck will be.

I did not, in fact, report the guy, nor did it even occur to me to do so. Yes, it was rude, uncalled-for and abusive toward a total stranger out of the blue, but behavior like that has now become so endemic to the online social sphere that I can’t imagine Grindr raising an eyebrow at it, let alone lifting a finger. If they policed every such incident, they’d be at it every breathing moment, 24/7, and I fear the social media environment is now so bereft of civilized quality that it’s beyond saving. Frankly, with the Supreme Court now ruling that online harassment is free speech, I think our culture is stick-a-fork-in-it cooked.

Well, that’s on you for fucking both the pilot and the copilot.

😐 ….Was that as good for you as it was for me? Um… how to put this…

‘Flip-flopper’ to me just conjures an image of a Top who can’t get an erection, but is by God going to spend twenty minutes trying to cram it up my cunt anyway. And this is a wholly personal thing, but ‘Lucky Pierre’ - which must be regional as I’ve never heard it before until this moment - gives me the instant squicks because my very first same-sex encounter was with a Canadian from the Yukon Territory who (you can’t make this shit up) traveled 2,700 miles to suck me off. His name was Pierre. He was crackers, evidently thought he had found his poetic soulmate or something. I mean, I can imagine that finding guys to hook up with in the Yukon might be a little challenging, but Christ. Just out of curiosity, when you say ‘topping and bottoming at the same time’ is your favorite way to fuck… is that with the same person? Because I’m struggling to envision how that works without having to enter a fourth dimension.